Monday, October 30, 2006


Week 8.1 - REDEMPTION!!!!

Another late decision comes through!

  • New England (-2) 31 at Minnesota 7 +$200

  • Week 8.1 Against the Spread: 1-0
    Week 8.1 Over/Unders: 0-0

    BOJ Season Against the Spread: 13-12-1
    BOJ Last Second Monday Night Picks: 2-0
    BOJ Season Over/Unders: 5-2
    BOJ Balance for Week 8.1: +$200
    BOJ Total Amount Remaining: $1350

    Yeah! I'm a winner. Life can continue to go on....



    Twin Cities To Host '08 RNC

    From The Onion:

    Minneapolis has been chosen as the site for the 2008 Republican National Convention. What do you think?

    Young Man

    Mick Haney,

    Garment Worker

    "This is the problem with Republicans: They plan two years in advance for a convention and two months in advance for a war."

    There were two others, but this was the funniest...




    Fake Gabling: Week 8.1

    My fake bookie has advised me against it, he says I'm pressing, trying to come out of week 8 with a winning record. I know it's the worst sort of way to go about the fake gambling, and I am picking against a home team that's pretty good at home. But before we turn out the lights on week 8, let's make one more wager:

  • New England (-2) at Minnesota - $200

  • BOJ's Week 8.1 Stake: $1150
    BOJ's Week 8.1 Wagered: $200

    I just can't get this fake gambling monkey off my back......



    DHMO Update - Statistics on DHMO Inhilation

    Just a few stats on the dangers on DHMO:

  • In 2000, there were 3,482 unintentional DHMO inhilation events in the United States, an average of nine people per day.

    U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

  • It is estimated that for each DHMO inhilation death, there are 1 to 4 nonfatal submersions serious enough to result in hospitalization. Children who still require cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR) at the time they arrive at the emergency department have a poor prognosis, with at least half of survivors suffering significant neurologic impairment.

    American Academy of Pediatrics

  • DHMO inhilation is the second-leading cause of injury-related death among children under the age of 15.

    U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

  • Still think it's safe?



    Sunday, October 29, 2006


    Colts 34 Broncos 31

    I didn't see nearly as much of this game as I would have liked to. Maybe I'll catch it later this week on the NFL Network. First, my sister called in the second quarter and talked well into the third quarter. Then my nurse came to give me training on giving myself injections (and I performed admirably). I was actually giving myself my very first Betaseron injection when the Broncos scored late in the fourth quarter to tie the game at 31 with 1:46 to go. You just can't give a Manning that kind of time especially when the Colts have a kicker as good as the RC's own Adam Vinatieri.

    So the Broncos lost to an undefeated team. So they gave up one more touchdown in this game than they had in the previous six games. These are the Colts, not the Baltimore Ravens. No shame in giving up 3 TD's to the Colts' offense.

    The Broncos offense looked good this game. Plummer was confident, threw downfield often and made some big plays. The Colts bottled up Tatum Bell, but couldn't get a handle on Mike Bell who tore off big chunks of yardage in the second half (and look fantastic in short yardage). Good signs all.

    I'd have preferred a win, but a last second loss to one of the best teams in football? It ain't all bad.




    The Germans have a kind of cool term, schadenfreud. It means taking comfort/delight in the misery of others. Oh, those kooky Germans!

    I bring up the term because I came away from Week 8 a loser. Jason had the opportunity to come away a winner or a loser depending on his final game. I don't take delight that hs lost his last game, but, well, you know, I am German.

    Jason's Week 8 results:

  • Baltimore 35 at New Orleans (-2.5) 22 -$50

  • Houston 22 at Tennessee 28 (-3) +$50

  • Jacksonville 13 at Philadelphia (-6) 6 -$50

  • Atlanta 29 at Cincinnati 27OVER (43.5) +$50

  • Arizona 14 (+3.5) at Green Bay 31 -$50

  • Seattle at 28 Kansas City (-6) 35 +$100

  • New York Jets (+1.5) 13 at Cleveland 20 -$100

  • Week 8 Against the Spread: 2-4
    Week 8 Over/Unders: 1-0

    Jason Season Against the Spread: 3-8-1
    Jason Season Over/Unders: 2-0
    Jason Balance for Week 6: -$50
    Jason Total Amount Remaining: $650

    As a reminder, here are my crappy results from this week:

  • Tampa Bay (+9) 3 at New York Giants 17 (MGM Mirage Line) -$100

  • Arizona 14 at Green Bay 31 (-3.5) (Stations Line) +$100

  • Baltimore 35 at New Orleans (-2.5) 22 -$100

  • Week 8 Against the Spread: 1-2
    Week 8 Over/Unders: 0-0

    BOJ Season Against the Spread: 12-12-1
    BOJ Season Over/Unders: 5-2
    BOJ Balance for Week 6: -$100
    BOJ Total Amount Remaining: $1150

    Oh how I long for the glory days of week 5. What a wonderful time that was. Even if it was just fake money, it's a lot more fun to be a winner.



    Geez, I Suck at Fake Gambling

    I only picked early games this week. I lost two of them. Even though I won the other, I'm still down for the week, down for the third consecutive week.

  • Tampa Bay (+9) 3 at New York Giants 17 (MGM Mirage Line) -$100

  • Arizona 14 at Green Bay 31 (-3.5) (Stations Line) +$100

  • Baltimore 35 at New Orleans (-2.5) 22 -$100

  • Week 8 Against the Spread: 1-2
    Week 8 Over/Unders: 0-0

    BOJ Season Against the Spread: 12-12-1
    BOJ Season Over/Unders: 5-2
    BOJ Balance for Week 6: -$100
    BOJ Total Amount Remaining: +$1150

    Aggresive Jason is up in the early games and has the Jets (+1.5) over the Browns in a late game. Could be a nice week for Jason, but luckily for me anyway, he can't catch me for the season even if he wins the late game. Then again, he probably shouldn't be able to since I had a five week headstart on him. Updates to follow...


    Saturday, October 28, 2006


    Onion Radio News

    Doyle Redland
    With Doyle Redland

    Study: Most Self-Abuse Goes Unreported

    Listen to the story here.

    Chilling stuff from The Onion. And, yes, I consider myself a victim.



    Friday, October 27, 2006


    Fake Gambling: Week 8
    I'm a Good Shopper

    Jason and I held our own last week (which is what I do every morning, thanks for coming, you've been a great audience, enjoy the buffet...) each losing a paltry 50 fake dollars. Still, I haven't come home a winner since my fabulous Week 5 (and week 5.1). I've taken a pretty conservative route this week:

  • Tampa Bay (+9) at New York Giants (MGM/Mirage Line) - $100

  • Arizona at Green Bay (-3.5) (Stations Line) - $100

  • Baltimore at New Orleans (-2.5) - $100

  • BOJ's Week 8 Stake: $1250
    BOJ's Week 8 Wagered: $300

    Shopped around and was able to get an additional half point in my favor by taking games at the MGM/Mirage and Stations casinos. You never know when that will come in handy. Tampa Bay looked good against Philly last week, and though it took a miracle field goal for them to win, they were playing a much better team than themselve. Do I think they'll beat the Giants on Sunday? Hell no! They should keep it close though.

    In truth, I can't figure out Arizona or Green Bay. Some one will win this game outright and against the spread though. I tossed a coin, it came up Green Bay.

    Baltimore started out 4-0 but have lost the last three weeks when they play superior competition. New Orleans is playing much better than I've expected, plus they're really learned how to use Deuce MacAllister and Reggie Bush together. I honestly didn't see that happening. I has, though, and I'm man enough to admit it by putting my fake money where my actual mouth is.

    Side note. Denver is favored against Indy by 4.5 points. I have my doubts whether Denver will win this game outright, let alone cover. Usually I don't bet the Broncos because my judgement is clouded as they're my favorite team. This week I'm not betting them because of karma. No bad karma! Go Broncos!

    Jason's Week 8 offerings:

  • Baltimore at New Orleans (-2.5) - $50

  • Houston at Tennessee (-3) - $50

  • Jacksonville at Philadelphia (-6) - $50

  • Atlanta at Cincinnati OVER (43.5) - $50

  • Arizona (+3.5) at Green Bay - $50

  • Seattle at Kansas City (-6) - $100

  • New York Jets (+1.5) at Cleveland - $100

  • Jason's Week 8 Stake: $700
    Jason's Week 8 Wagered: $450

    Look! We've got a game in common (New Orleans over Baltimore) and a game in opposition (Arizona at Green Bay). This time the game we're on different sides on won't turn out as a push unless the NFL enacts some sort of "half point conversion" rule before Sunday.

    Solid picks again. I would like to point out that though I have a 5 week headstart on Jason, he could conceivably catch me this week through his aggressive fake wagering. That would be kind of fitting, don't you think?



    Sue Foley Photo Friday

    Miss Sue Foley
    I've posted a bunch of Sue Foley photos on Sue Foley Photo Friday. Among my favorites are a series taken by Zeev in Autstin, Texas at Anotne's. Sue look great in all of Zeev's photos, wearing a little black dress and heels. Actually, looking very much the way I like attractive young ladies looking. Good stuff.

    But today's photo from the 10,000 Lake Music Festival in 2005 shows Sue looking a lot more natural. In jeans and a tank top (ever been to Northern Minnesota in July?) she looks a lot more like the earthy blues guitar woman she really is.

    I really like Sue both ways. What I'm trying to say is that I appreciate when she takes the effort (or her publicist takes the effort) to make her glamorous. I know what she is though, a hard working woman who has made some fantastic music. I spend a lot of time here writing about how much I like looking at Sue Foley. And I do. A lot. But I've personally known women who look as good or much better than Sue Foley. What I really like about Sue what she does with a guitar and her voice, the words and notes she puts down on paper and, thankfully, later, presents to us in their intended form.

    Which gets me to my next point. In a couple of weeks time, here on The Globex Corporation Newsletter, you'll be seeing lists of Top 10 Guitarist of all time on this blog. It started the other night at work, Jack mentioned Rolling Stone's top 100 list and we talked about how any list like that is so subjective. So we decided to do our own lists and post them here. Jack showed me his list last night (he's norrowed it down to about 30), Jason is working on one too. We asked Tim and Michelle if they'd like to contribute. And of course I'll be adding my two cents.

    We haven't really made a set criteria. It will simply be a list of guitarists which that person thinks are the 10 best of all time. None of us are music scholars so we'll be limited by guitarists we're familiar with. People can make the list because of technical ability, or influence or popularity. Personal taste will also play a part.

    So does Sue Foley make my list? That's really tough for me. She is one of my favorite guitarists playing today, but we're talking about hundreds of years of guitar players here. My list will most definitely include a woman, but if I only had one (and I'm not saying it will), I would have to go with Bonnie Raitt. I know what you're thinking, BOJ's got the Red-Head Fever, but Bonnie Raitt is a truly amzing guitarist, her slide work is as good or better than any dyed-in-the-wool bluesman playing today.

    It'll be an intersting exercise. Just looking at Jack's list last night, it reminded me of guitarists that I hadn't thought of in quite some time. I don't think anyone's list will be conclusive, and I don't think anyone will think their list will be totally right. The list will, however, totally be theirs. And that's music and taste.

    So discuss, who was a better band:

    Bon Jovi


    The Who

    You can even vote on the side bar.

    Have fun!



    Thursday, October 26, 2006


    Ben Roethlisberger Relieved To Suffer Football-Related Injury

    The Onion Sports Page kicks ass! I love mean-spirited humor, I love sports. Put them together, and it's always a winning combination. The Onion itself is pure Journalistic dynamite, The Onion Sports Page is just about the funniest thing you'll find on the web. I mean, you've got this really cool Sports Infographic, and then cool stories like this one:

    ATLANTA—Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who survived life-threatening injuries as a result of a motorcycle accident during the pre-season and endured an emergency appendectomy in early October, was relieved Sunday to suffer a serious traumatic injury during the course of a football game. "I think things are definitely starting to get back to norb... to nurm... to normal," said a barely conscious Roethlisberger, who suffered a concussion as a result of a helmet-to-helmet collision during the third quarter of Pittsburgh's game against the Atlanta Falcons. "It was nice to be on the sidelines, in pain, and in full uniform all at the same time, for once." Roethlisberger added that his experiences off the football field have taught him a valuable lesson, and had he not been wearing a regulation helmet during Sunday's game, he could be dead right now.

    It's The Onion Sports Page and it's really cool! Read it!




    Pointless Shit
    Thursday 26 October 2006

    I could write a long missive about some poinlesly shitty thing in my life, but I've got a better plan for today. I'm taking a Pointless Shit field trip in a couple of minutes. I'm sure it will turn out every bit as poinless as I'm currently imagining.

    I'll come back home, read section VIII. in the Pointless Shit Textbook, do the "Self-Discovery Exercise" (on my own sheet of paper), break for lunch, complete Workbook pages 42-44 (inclusive) and finish up by writing an essasy (2000 words minimum) entitled "What Poinltess Shit Means to Me."

    It should be an enriching day, and I'm already feeling a little bit better about myself.


    Wednesday, October 25, 2006



    Aside from the drunken post the other night, I don't talk about talent much. In short, I have some. Some. Not enough to do anything with, but enough to impress people just a little.

    I'll start with music since that was the post that made me start thinking about this. I can play harmonica and sing pretty passably. I can play guitar well enough not to totally embarass myself in public. I can write a song, odd as any of them may be. When it comes right down to it, what I can really do is make people smile. I've opened for actual musicians, the kind that get paid. I've been paid myself a time or two for music, never much, but what the hell, it beats playing for free.

    I write a little. I was published last year, not for something I was too terribly proud of, but someone liked it enough to publish it. Mostly, I write this blog. I get a goodly number of visitors, some leave nice comments. Some stick around a while and come back. I really do the writing for myself, it helps me organize my thoughts. It helps me keep my views a little more consistent since I can review what I think about a certain topic. I hate contridicting myself, though I'm sure I often do. I can write. I like to think I write pretty well.

    I do a little bit of computer graphics, mostly photo manipulation with Adobe Photoshop. Again, it's something I started doing because I enjoyed it. I started posting on a political blog a couple of years ago, and found that sometimes I couldn't get my point across using words alone. So I did my own version of political cartooning. I can't draw, but I can mess with photos. I sometimes have a different way of looking at things then other people will. I get lots of hits at BOJ News Service, a political graphic humor blog I started a little over a year ago. It amazes me that I get the occasional hit from the House of Representatives, I actually get a lot of hits from the DC area. Politicos and near-politicos tend to come back for more. Pretty cool.

    All three of these things sort of dove tail nicely into humor. I'm a funny guy. Sometimes I don't take things seriously enough, but that's just the way I am. Like with music, all I want to do is make people smile. I do. The few times I've spent around a few professional comedians makes me realize that I'm not one, but I can hold my own with a pro. I get my share of laughs. Also pretty cool.

    So I write songs, I write stuff, I make political graphics, I do some of the humor thing. All of these I've done in the pressence of those who do each of these tasks as a profession. I'm not a professional, but in my best moments the casual observer probably couldn't tell. Man, that gives me a really good feeling, it makes me really like myself.

    And it doesn't mean a God damned thing!

    Talent doesn't mean jack squat. None of these talents has ever done me any good other than make a few people (myself included) happy for a few moments. I've applied for jobs that would use my talents with writing and graphics. Nobody seems to give a shit. Even if I combine them with proven talents in the television industry, it just doesn't matter. None of these talents has ever done me any good.

    What the good are any of them? It's becoming very clear that I'll never even derive ancillary income from any of these. And I just used the term ancillary properly in a sentence. It was the first word that popped into my head for what I was trying to say. What the hell is up with that. I hear people misuse virtually and literally all the time, people who get paid to use words. And me, TV boy, I don't get shit. Life isn't fair. Wait, I did that one a while back. It's true, though.

    It just makes me want to quit all creative pursuits. Yes, I realize the irony of pointing that out in a piece of prose. I also realize that I stole it from the episode of The Simpsons where Sideshow Bob stole a nuclear weapon and threatened to blow up Springfield if they didn't do away with TV. That's another thing, how come nobody cares that I can come up with shit like that off the top of my head. That's not really even a famous Simpsons episode, but there it was, in my brain, ready if I needed it.

    But nobody gives a shit, nobody cares. Just like everything else. Makes me not even want to try to make a good MBW post.


    Tuesday, October 24, 2006


    Positive About Showers

    The surest sign of civilization.
    When I get up in the morning. I'm going to take a shower. I do that every morning, at least I did until recently. My shower broke. Actually the thing in the tub faucet that diverts the water to the shower broke.

    So it's been baths for me this past week. Baths are OK, you didn't see an MBW on baths last week. Baths can be relaxing, I suppose, but for getting yourself clean, I'll take a shower everytime. Sitting in dirty water seems to be counter-productive to the whole cleaning process. Now a shower, that's efficiency! Stand there and blast hot water at yourself. The filth comes flying off and swirls down the drain. No muss, no fuss.

    There's no prep time for a shower either. Turn on the faucet, jump in and your on the express to clean town. With a bath you have to let the tub fill before you get in, then it gets cold while you're sitting there. You don't have that problem with a shower. You can even change the temperature at will in a shower. Nope, showers are a much better deal.

    The crazy thing about showers is that I have all of my good ideas in the shower. I've thought up graphic ideas for that other blog while I was in the shower. I've gotten lyric ideas while in the shower too. I've ended up naked a dripping wet at my computer because I had an idea that was just too good not to get on right away.

    I guess when you're in the tub you're just too relaxed. In the shower it's constant motion, rub shampoo into this, soap up that, turn around and let the water hit your back. Your brain is working, not turned off like it is in the tub. Nope, give me a shower any day.

    And now I've got one again. Oh, happy day!


    Blogger's Note: The shower was great! Thanks for asking! The new faucet diverter thingy works a lot better than the old one, I get a much stronger spray out of the shower head and much less water comes out of the faucet in shower mode. Also I don't have to hit this faucet really hard to make the shower shut off. Obviously, there was some sort of prooblem there from the day I moved in to #27.

    And it was a productive shower, meaning that my brain was running the whole time, thinking all sorts of creative thoughts. As these thoughts were mostly mean-spirited, and while this is
    Poisitive Tuesday, I'll leave them for another time. Actually, I probably won't leave them for another time either, as if I wrote these things down..... well, never mind. It was really cool to have that creative rush again.

    Creativity - - Just add water......

    Monday, October 23, 2006


    Get It Right

    Yesterday, Tampa Bay Buccaneers' Kicker Matt Bryant kicked a 62 yard field goal to win his team's game against the Philadelphia Eagles. As time expired lined up for what I have heard referred to on numerous occasions today as the "second longest field goal in NFL history."

    It's now been over 24 hours since the event occurred. I just heard it moments ago on ESPN's pregame football extravaganza, "Matt Bryant's field goal, the second longest in NFL history."

    I'm not paid to do research for any entity that's broadcasting sports. ESPN, in fact, has had the opportunity to hire me an numerous occasions, but apparently passed on the offer (or somehow didn't get my resume any of those times). But when I heard about Matt Bryant's field goal, and how it was the second longest in NFL history, I was reminded of two things:

  • November 8th, 1970. Tom Dempsey, Field Goal, 63 yards

  • October 25th, 1998. Jason Elam, Field Goal, 63 yards

  • While Matt Bryant's FG against the Eagles is an impressive feat, how is it the "second longest field goal in NFL history" when two men have kicked longer field goals? How has nobody gotten this right? Why aren't I working at ESPN when this information (dates excluded) was right on the top of my head?

    Guess I stumped the Schwab.



    DHMO Update - It Just Keeps Getting Worse

    I liked this graphic so much,
    I decided to use it again.
    Last Monday I woke up and found that there was DHMO in my urine. I was schocked. I was scared. And when I thought about all of the effort I've spent fighting the global DHMO scourge, I realized the real meaning of irony (unless I'm using the term irony inocrrectly, in which case, I haven't learned anything....).

    I don't want to go into too much detail here, but I did check with the doctor. We did some tests. It appears that my DHMO problem is much greater than I'd been expecting. It appears that DHMO has found its way into every part of my body. It's in my muscle and tissues, it's in my skin, it's even in my brain.

    What does all of this mean? It means that I'll have to increase my efforts to wipe out the global DHMO scourge. I know it's an uphill battle, I'll have to fight big business and world governments, all of whom use DHMO in one fashion or another.

    I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!!!!! I will not rest until all DHMO is erradicated from our planet. I will acheive this by any means nescessary.

    I'll see you on the news.....




    Onion Radio News

    Doyle Redland
    With Doyle Redland

    Sexy Nurse Having Trouble Finding Halloween Costume

    Listen to the story here.

    If you don't read The Onion I'll, well, I don't know what I'll do. I've never been very good at baseless threats. Just read it!



    Sunday, October 22, 2006


    Fake Gambling Results, Week 7

    It wasn't the absolute beat down that I received last week, but it wasn't the kind of week I like to have. Week 7's Fake Gambling results:

  • San Diego (-5.5) 27 at Kansas City 30 -$100

  • Pittsburgh 38 at Atlanta (+2.5) 41 +$50

  • Carolina 14 at Cincinnati (-3) 17 PUSH

  • Denver (-5) 17 at Cleveland 7 (Stations Line) +$100

  • Arizona (-3) 9 at Oakland 22 -$100

  • Week 7 Against the Spread: 2-2-1
    Week 7 Over/Unders: 0-0

    BOJ Season Against the Spread: 11-10-2
    BOJ Season Over/Unders: 5-2
    BOJ Balance for Week 6: -$50
    BOJ Total Amount Remaining: +$1250

    Cincinnati receiver Chad Johnson (85) catches a
    32-yard pass against Carolina cornerback Chris Gamble
    (20) on a fourth-and-1 play in the fourth quarter. The
    play led to the game-winning touchdown, denying Jason
    a win and preventing BOJ from losing. Cincinnati won 17-14,
    making the game, in which Cincinnati was favored by 3
    points, a push. (AP)
    I picked up wins with Atlanta (who I didn't actually think would win outright) and Denver. The Broncos looked like they were trying to piss it away in the fourth quarter, but managed to hold on, win by ten, cover the spread and make BOJ happy. Like last week, the ultimate outcome was never in doubt, just whether they would cover or not. They did. Thank you Mike Shanahan for opening up the defense some.

    Cincinnati scored in the fourth quarter, taking their first lead of the game. Problem was, it was just enough to hit the spread. I walked away with a push, but, in truth I'm pretty happy to come away with that.

    I have no idea how the Chargers lost to the Chiefs. I don't want to know. As a Broncos fan I'm happy. As a fake gambler, I just can't believe it.

    Oakland wins a game?!? I was thinking this morning that Oakland is bad enough to lose 16 games this season. I still they're that kind of bad, but they won't lose 16 this year. There's always next year.....

    Jason's results for week 7:

  • Carolina (+3) 14 at Cincinnati 17 PUSH

  • Arizona (-3) 9 at Oakland 22 -$100

  • Minnesota 31 at Seattle 13 OVER (41) +$50

  • Week 7 Against the Spread: 0-1-1
    Week 7 Over/Unders: 1-0

    Jason Season Against the Spread: 1-4-1
    Jason Season Over/Unders: 1-0
    Jason Balance for Week 6: -$50
    Jason Total Amount Remaining: $700

    Nice pick on the o/u in Seattle. I figured it would be the 'Hawks scroing all the points, but the Vikings looked good today. Like I said on Friday this was a solid pick. Wish I'd have made it.

    I doubt Jason is any happier with that push in Cincinnati than I am. I think Jason is probably as bewildered by the Raiders' win as I am.

    We're both 50 fake dollars poorer this week......



    Broncos 17 - Browns 7

    Denver Broncos wide receiver Javon
    Walker (84) makes a catch against
    Cleveland Browns defensive back Gary
    Baxter (24) during the first half. (AP)
    Not a stellar performance by the Broncos in this afternoon's game, but the defense played like the defense has played all season long, allowing just one touchdown, again with a 17-0 lead in the fourth quarter. Shanahan opened up the offense a little bit against what is a pretty good Browns defense (even after giving Denver their entire defensive line). Tatum Bell had another nice day running the ball. Jake Plummer looked OK, and though he threw 2 INT's, the wind looked brutal in Cleveland today, undoubtedly adding to that total as it did to the total of Browns QB Charlie Frye.

    It's a win and I'll take it. Next week is the Colts, however, and a great Broncos defense is going to have to step up even more in this game. And the offense, well, the offense had probably start doing something. Today we saw more of the offense than we've seen all year. We'll need to see more against the Colts. The Broncos defense, no matter ho good it is, will allow a TD or two to the Colts. Seventeen points isn't going to cut it.

    That said, I like the Broncos' chances against the Colts. Am I predicting Indy's first loss of the year? Not so fast! I will predict a close game. I will predict a lower score than most will expect. I know what I hope happens, but we'll find out what does happen next Sunday.



    Am I Talented?

    WARNING This post influenced by too much Malt Liquor and an unhealthy exposure to the music of one Sue Foley

    I played guitar some today. I responded to an odd questionaire for Joe Bucholz a few minutes ago. I'm listening to Sue Foley right now.

    People tell me I'm talented. Amy thinks I'm talented, wonders what I'm doing in Cheyenne, Wyoming, not playing in public very much. I don't fucking know. I listen to Willy Grigg, or Shawn Bitz or think about that ridiculously talented Josh Marquis, all people I know and wonder what the fuck I'm doing calling myself a "musician" even if I make the "quotey fingers" thingy when I way it.

    Steve Thorpe, who I respect the hell out of, tells me to "do what you do." That's probably the best piece of creative advice I've ever received. I am not a good guitar player. I am not (no matter what I think) a very good harmonica player. I am a passable singer. I don't write good songs. All of that said, somehow, I manage to make people smile. When it came to doing the music thing, really, to any part of my life, that's all I ever wanted.

    I make people smile. I suppose worse things could be said about me. Yet, I know, personally know, so many people with more talent than me. I was in a band, Patient 957, with three people with so much more talent than me. I wish I could play guitar like TSA. I wish I had the stage pressence of an Andy Stoll. I wish I had the songwriting accumen of ONA (the Other not Andy). I have none of that. I don't write songs like Joe Bucholz or SMB, don't have the chops of a GF1 or Josh Marquis.

    People like what I do. I hate to call an audience a bunch of idiots, but I feel like screaming that every time some aplauds what I do on the few stages I find myself on today.

    I do what I do. Steve Thorpe's words ring in my ears every time someone says something nice about me. I get it. I don't always believe it.

    I wish I had talent, real talent. I wish I could play, not like people who are making a comfortable living playing music, but like people I know, unapprecated people I know who are so fucking good at their craft. It's a hobby for me. I realize that. I will never make a living playing music. Or writing music. Or writing about music. I'm just not that kind of good. I could practice 12 hours a day, but I just don't have it in me.

    I've always tried to play off of being unique. I'm that guy who writes the quirky relationship based songs. I'm that guy who focuses on playing harmonica in a town full of guitar players. If you limit what you do enough, I guess you end up being the best at what you do.

    I just wish I had as much talent as people I know. I know that seems silly. I always feel like the "weak sister" when it comes to musicians. "Doing what I do" is nice, and frankly I think I do it well. But what the hell is it.

    Maybe it's time to put down the Malt Liquor and just go to bed. I'll even turn off the Sue Foley. That would probably be a good idea.....


    Saturday, October 21, 2006



    When I attended college in the 1980's as a mass communications student, a good number of my classes were in the E.O. Lawrence Telecommunications Center on the campus of the University of South Dakota in Vermillion. From 1992 to 1995 (exactly 3 years as it turns out - probably about a year too long.....) I worked in the same building as a Broadcast Operations Technician (master control operator, no matter what the state called me, and a damn good one, my supervisor would even agree) for South Dakota Public Broadcasting.

    E.O. Lawrence as a student
    (probably, the photo didn't say,
    but he looks like a student).
    The Building itself was pretty interesting as it was alternately known as the "New Armory." It was known as that because until the Dakota Dome was built, basketball games and other sporting events were held there, the site of theold football stadium was right out the back door of master control. Some of the doors were still original from its days as a gymnasium. One that always made me laugh was upstairs. Going into the radio area I had to pass through a door that said "Women's Locker Room." I've dreamt of passing through doors like that all my life, and I like most things I've longed for, it wasn't nearly as satisfying as I'd imagined it would be.

    The building also housed the Army ROTC program for the univiersity so the name "New Armory" kind of stuck. But it was officially the E.O. Lawrence Telecomunications Center. It was named for former student Earnest Orlando Lawrence who later won a Nobel Prize in Physics and in addition to a building in a small town in South Dakota, also has a radioactive element named after him.

    When E.O. Lawrence was a student at the University, he (with others, I'm sure) started what would later become KUSD-AM, the first radio station in South Dakota in 1919. Its first broadcast was in 1922 and it began regular broadcasts in 1924. KUSD started educational programming in 1931 marking the beginning of South Dakota Public Broadcasting. KUSD remained a part of the network until 1992.

    Programming on AM continued until December of 1992 when one of the towers was toppled by a nighttime encounter with a Chevrolet Suburban being driven illegally across the golf course where the towers stood. The driver was caught and prosecuted, but the station was unable to collect a large enough settlement from his insurance carrier to re-erect the tower.

    From Dakota Pathways

    As a resident of Vermillion and an employee of South Dakota Public Broadcasting at the time let me explain a couple of things about the "Chevrolet Suburban driven illegally across the golf course." It was illegally driven for a number of reasons. First, it was illegal to drive on the golf course. Duh!

    Second, the driver was over the legal limit, he was drunk. He had been at a fraternity party (I think I remember which one, but not being certain, I'm not going to post it here) and took of in the Suburban to take a little night time drive. He was already home, but made the decision to go out and cause some trouble by doing doughnuts on the golf course.

    Third, it was not his Suburban. The Suburban belonged to the family of a Sorority girl who spent a lot of time at this particular Fraternity. So much time, in fact, that the Suburban was usually there. So much time that keys were readily available to anyone at the Fraternity who wanted to take them and drive the Suburban, on the golf course or anywhere else for that matter. Depending on your interpretation of the law, the Suburban was stolen.

    None of that really matters, of course. One moment of stupidity (and don't blame the alcohol) and an entity that had existed since 1919, an entity that a Noble Prize winning alumnus had helped create, was no more.

    There was a trial, of course. The student was found guilty in a criminal trial and fined the largest amount possible. It wasn't enough to re-erect the tower, nor was it enough to demolish the tower. The Network made the absolutely stupid decision not to sue the student in a civil case. A network employee close to the case told me, "We didn't want to ruin the kid's life. He's paid enough already."

    Paid enough? Not nearly. Without going into too much engineering detail, the KUSD-AM towers were a cluster of towers allowing the signal to be directional. With one tower destroyed, it could no long direct its signal and had to operate at greatly reduced power, which it did until 1994. It didn't cost the network any less in operations or upkeep to keep it going in the capacity. I was still required to look out the back door after dark and verify that the lights on the remaining towers were on, so at least some of my salary was for operation of KUSD-AM.

    And in 1998 the whole useless array had to be demolished at more cost to the taxpayers in South Dakota. Gravity may bring a tower down, but human beings have to cart it away, and that's not cheap. You can sell the twisted metal for scrap, but that never offsets the cost of demolition.

    So it's pretty clear that the thoughtless student didn't pay enough. I never did find out his name, if I knew it I would post it here. I'd like to compare the lives of this thoughtless student and Lawrence. I have no idea what this student has accomplished, but I still get the alumni magazine and I assure you that NO ONE who graduated after me from the University of South Dakota has led a life that can rival the importance of what Lawrence accomplished. Anything this little bastard accomplished in his life is because the State of South Dakota didn't sue his ass and make him pay to either reconstruct or demolish the tower that he destroyed. You think repaying those student loans is a bitch? Add on the cost of reconstructing a tower when you're 21 years old. Try to have a successful life after that.

    I did not leave South Dakota Public Broadcasting with the best of feelings for the organization (you can blame Kevin Patten and Don Checots for that), but I hate it when justice isn't served. And while justice wasn't acheived, in part, because the network didn't have the balls to go after this scum, it is the scum himself that is the real problem here. Had he not been drunk, stolen a vehicle, and illegally driven on a golf course late one December night, I wouldn't be writing this right now.



    Onion Radio News

    Doyle Redland
    With Doyle Redland

    Large, Dependent Film Tops Weekend Box Office

    Listen to the story here.

    I know that it contains an advertisement, which makes me not want to post it, so if you stopped playing it after the actual story and skipped the ad, it wouldn't break my heart.

    I know I say this every time, but you really ought to be reading The Onion. I like everything about it, and their sports page is turning into one of the funniest things on the 'net.



    Friday, October 20, 2006


    Fake Gambling Week 7

    You know, this whole fake gambling thing has been really cool, aside from the losing week a few ago and the absolute beat down I got last week. Yeah, it's always more fun when you win. I'll admit it, I'm a little gun shy after last week. So my cautious picks or Week 7 are as follows:

  • San Diego (-5.5) at Kansas City - $100

  • Pittsburgh at Atlanta (+2.5) - $50

  • Carolina at Cincinnati (-3) - $100

  • Denver (-5) at Cleveland (Stations Line) - $100

  • Arizona (-3) at Oakland - $100

  • BOJ's Week 7 Stake: $1300
    BOJ's Week 7 Wagered: $450

    Once again, I'm not really happy with any of these, then again, after the Week 6 beat down, I'm questioning my very fake gambling existence. San Diego is good, Kansas City is not. Even at home I can't see them not getting beat by more than a touchdown.

    Pittsburgh/Atlanta is a bit of a flyer. Just a hunch, but I have a feeling that Atlanta is going to make this a close game. Oddly, I don't think that Atlanta will win this game, but probably lose by a point or two.

    I really like Carolina, they were my preseason pick in the NFC. With Steve Smith back and playing well, I think they're right up there with Chicago, but top to bottom the AFC is better and a playoff contending AFC team (even one that lost to a NFC team with no wins last week) should have their way with Carolina.

    I don't like wagering on the Broncos, but again, this is Cleveland. How can the Broncos not beat them by more than a TD? The over/under of 32 was intriguing, but Cleveland's offense is not good, the Broncos defense simply doesn't allow TD's (one this year, and that when the Broncos had a 17 point fourth quarter lead) and Coach Shanahan is playing a very conservative offens. That cost me last week against the Raiders.

    I pick against the Raiders again this week, though I said I'd only do it until such a wager would be a loser. It was a loser for me last week, but let's give the Cardinals some dap (oooh, I am SO street...). They dominated the best team in the NFC for three quarters on Monday night. If they play even half that well against the hapless Raiders this week, they'll beat the Raiders by much more than 3 points. Don't talk to me about hangovers from a big loss, we're talking about the Raiders here. If I hadn't taken such a beating last week and weren't so gun shy this week, I'd have a lot more of the fake money on this one.

    Jason's picks for Week 7:

  • Carolina (+3) at Cincinnati - $100

  • Arizona (-3) at Oakland - $100

  • Minnesota at Seattle OVER (41) - $50

  • Jason's Week 7 Stake: $750
    Jason's Week 7 Wagered: $250

    Jason and I share one pick (Arizona (-3) at Oakland) but are looking for different results in Cincinnati. I didn't do this on pupose (Jason gave me his picks last night), but it will make things a little more interesting on Sunday (actually on Tuesday when I'm back to work).

    And I like his over pick in the Minnesota/Seattle game. Deion Branch and one more week in the Seahawk's offense should equal more points. Add to that Minnesota's offense and you've got a game that should produce a lot of points.

    Remember that this is NOT a gambling site. All picks and spreads quoted are for entertainment puposes only. Picks made do not constitute an exchange of monies with some big scruffy guy named Vito. Those wagering along with BOJ or Jason do so at their own risk. Offer void in Tennessee.....

    That should keep the Globex Corporation legal department happy.



    Sue Foley Photo Friday

    Another Good One!
    Sue Foley Photo Friday Forever!

    Still the happiest day of my blog week, it's my pledge to you, faithful readers of the Globex Corporation Newsletter that Sue Foley will always have a place on this blog. She's got a guarenteed one on Fridays, but I reserve the right to write about her any day of the week. Maybe I'll do a full blown review of Change (which I'm listening to right now) or New Used Car. If I ever see her again, there will be a long post in which I will undoubtedly sound like a middle school girl discussing her first "crush." That's assuming that I don't sound like that already anyway.



    Thursday, October 19, 2006


    Pointless Shit Thursday Will Return Next Week......

    I know that Thurdays are usually Pointless Shit Thursdays, but today I have something to write about that is anything but pointless. I also want to point out that this does not define who I am, I'm the same "Blind Orange" Julius, or Doug Jungemann if you will, who you've come to know. I'm the same guy. I'm the same guy I was before I walked into a Neurologist's office today. Now I just happen to know one more thing about myself.

    When I think back on it, I probably noticed that something was going on when I was about 38. My daily bike rides along the beach in California seemed to take a bigger toll on me than they had before. I was unbelievably tired after a 5 mile bike ride. Well, I was getting older, and I wasn't in as good of shape as I should have been.

    I've never led a particularly active life, but I noticed that when I tried to do anything strenuous that I'd wear out pretty quickly, I noticed it in some unexpected situations. I could get really graphic here, but I'll leave that alone. Even things that wouldn't be considered strenuous would take their toll.

    I moved back to the RC at about that time. My daily bike rides ceased, but I would occasionally get out and take a ride. It was a 10 mile ride to and from Canyon Lake from my apartment, a ride that I really liked except for the end. My apartment was on a hill that required me to gain 200 feet of elevation in a pretty short distance. I could do it, but it would leave me pretty winded. As time went on, that part of the trip became more and more difficult. So difficult that my vision would get fuzzy and I'd be forced to lie down after a bike ride. Not for too long, but for a while until I got my wind back.

    I started to notice little things about two years ago. One of the first was that I was losing strength in my right arm. I like to cook, I really like using cast iron cookware and I noticed that I had a hard time handling my cast iron skillet. It became too difficult to hold with my right arm.

    I noticed that I didn't have the balance that I used to have. When I play and sing, I tend to do so with my eyes closed. I would notice that I'd start to fall over and would catch myself. If you look at photos of me from the open mic at Dunn Bros., you may notice me with my hand on the window sill. I was trying to keep myself upright.

    When I was moving in December of last year I would get terribly worn out after taking a load of crap down to my car. I would find something to do before I tried to take stuff into the new place. This was all complicated by the fact that I moved to Cheyenne in January of this year. Two moves in two months. Yikes.

    I have a little numbness in my right hand. I attribute that to arthritis and a little carpel tunnel (blogging takes it's toll, so do the stupid little graphics projects). I sometimes find it hard to hold a guitar pick. It still hasn't stopped me from playing, neither has a complete lack of talent. I started to get some numbness in my feet as well after moving to Cheyenne. I had some trouble getting around. Walks to the library before I got web access were manageable, but became more difficult over time. One time I couldn't make it back without sitting down every couple of blocks.

    The capper was my fall on July 4th of this year. It was just an eight block walk up to Lion's Park for the fireworks, but I was so exhausted near the end that I just collapsed, falling face down into the pavement, most likely breaking my nose. It took a real injury, one I could see, to make me realize how serious this was. It wasn't just getting old, it wasn't just turning 40, it was a problem.

    After seeing a doctor, I ended up being referred to a neurologist. I had an MRI which showed some trouble. There were irregularities:

    On the FLAIR sequence, there are numerous foci of hyperintense signal in te sucorical cerebral white matte of both hemisperes. Prominent lesion in the left occipital subcortical white matter of the right frontal lobe measure close to 10 mm in size. A second prominent lesion in the left occipital....

    In truth it didn't mean much to me. The neurologist explained it to me. It wasn't good. He was 90% sure of what it was, but scheduled a spinal tap to confirm it.

    I've blogged about the spinal tap, and my biggest fear was that the tap wouldn't show anything and I'd have to do more testing. Maybe I'd have to go through another spinal tap.

    Good news folks! I don't need another spinal tap. The test was conclusive. Today it confirmed what the neurologist thought.

    I have Multiple Sclerosis. MS.

    Onset of this disease is never good, but at this point in my life it's not all that bad. The disease is still active and I've felt myself get a little worse over the past month or so. Treatment starts soon. I'll be injecting myself with an Interferon drug every other day. Probably for the rest of my life. There's no cure for my affliction, but the Beta Seron can slow the advance of the disease, maybe even cause it to go dormant. Best case I won't get any worse. I won't get any better either, but I can get by in the shape I'm in right now.

    Maybe that cryptic post I made back in August makes a little sense now. On that day I found out that I probably had MS. I didn't know I had it. Today I know. I have MS. My life isn't any different than it was before I found this out. I'm still the same guy. I still like beer and playing harmonica. I still like blogging. I still like making stupid graphs about minute details in my life. I still absolutely love Sue Foley.

    A disease is not who I am. It's just one more thing about me. I had to learn to live as a single guy after my divorce. I'll have to learn to live with this.

    So the number one question that America has is "What does this mean to the Globex Corporation Newsletter"? One thing is for certain, Sue Foley Photo Friday isn't going anywhere! I like to think that there won't be much change here, even though I know that's not entirely possible. As I'm the same person that I was yesterday before I found out about this, this blog will be the same blog as it was before. But now I know something else about myself. It'll show up in the blog. There will undoubtedly be a post about the first time I have to jab a needle into my thigh. I don't do well with needles, so I hope you all enjoy what I'm sure will be a very entertaining post.

    This will not become a blog about a guy who has MS. It will continue to be a blog about a guy who also happens to have MS. I'll try to remember that. I'll fail miserably some days I'm sure. I'll try to continue to be quirky. I'll try to stay odd and pointless. Some days you'll hear just how scared I am about what's going on inside my brain. I'll have to do that and I hope you'll bear with me.


    Wednesday, October 18, 2006


    Apparently, the Globex Corporation Newsletter averages about 6 new posts a week and 287 words per post. Fascinating! You can find out more about this type of thing at the Globex Corporation Newsletter profile page on Someone accessed my site through this profile, they'd been searching blogs for stuff about New Orleans and found my post celebrating the American Spirit, you know, the one about the hookers returning to New Orleans.

    You can find information about anything on the net these days, including info on pointless blogs.



    MBW: "Life Isn't Fair"

    Growing up, I remember complaining to my parents about things that had gone wrong in my life. "It's not fair," I would cry. Their answer was always the same:

    "Life isn't fair."

    Mark Twain once wrote that he was amazed at how much smarter his father became the older Mark Twain got.

    I get it now. Life isn't fair. I don't know how I missed it all of these years. I figured that if I acted fairly towards the people around me, acted fairly toward the universe, that sooner or later it would all have to even out. Sooner or later the people around me, the universe would have to start treating me fairly. I was such a sucker.

    I tried to treat people fairly. It seems the more I've tried to treat people fairly, with a few exceptions, they take it as a sign of weakness and just try to fuck me over. I worked hard, worked well, but the TV industry hasn't been very fair to me, no matter how good I was at my job, management would always fail to notice. The people I worked with always knew how valuable I was, the people I worked for, you know, the ones that handed out the promotions and gave the raises, they never noticed.

    So I went to DirecTV in 1999 figuring it would be the last job in TV I would ever have. I'd work hard, learn my job, treat those around me fairly. I'd ride that job as far as it would go. I always say that it's my job to do a good job, it's my supervisor's job to notice. So I did a good job, learned my job well, helped others who were having trouble. What did it get me?

    MY MANAGER JIMMY KUSYK ACCUSED ME OF THREATENING TO KILL HIM!!!!! Read that again. I'll wait. Read it out loud. Scream it, like my brain did when I wrote it, like my brain does every time I think about it. I'd never given that weasel a second thought. He received a threat on his life. He didn't even know me, but when it came to accusing people, to write a fucking police report, Jimmy Kusyk named me as a suspect. Life isn't fair.

    Needless to say, that really put a wet blanket on my attitude at DirecTV. I still did a good job, though. I figured if I did my job well, even if I was an accused domestic terrorist (that's the California statute it fell under) they would have to notice.

    My supervisor, Kevin Sommer, received a promotion. They created a new position to promote him to. He once told me that he got his promotion because people like me were doing a good job under his supervision and making him look good. When the company laid off a huge number of people in 2001, the department he supervised, the people who did a good job under him and got him a promotion, was cut by ONE HALF. Did he have any say in who stayed or who went. I don't fucking care, I worked hard and got SOMEONE ELSE a promtion. It didn't do me any good, I was out on the pavement with one half of my department. Life isn't fair.

    I had decided not to work in TV anymore. I tried other things. I have a flair for graphics. I looked for entry level jobs, things that didn't require experience. I tried for jobs in completely unrelated fields, that I had a flair for. After 13 years in television, I couldn't prove to anyone that I could do anything else. After a couple of years I looked for work back in TV, and nobody could understand why I'd been out of TV so long. Life isn't fair.

    I finally got a job with a company that had so fucked up the interview process on my previous attempt to gain employment that I was really leery of trying again. But I did because I didn't know how I was going to pay the rent the next month. I tried and the process was fucked up again, not so badly as the previous time, but bad enough that when they offered a job, I almost didn't take it.

    I heard the other day that a guy I work with, who's come into work drunk on more than one occasion, had to be moved to a different shift because he nearly had (or did have, reports are sketchy) a physical altercation with another employee, is in line to get better days off. He has the same crappy days off that I do now (which are, in the TV operations world at least, pretty good) but he's going to get Fridays and Saturdays off. After coming in to work drunk. After a physical (or nearly physical) altercation with another employee. After just not showing up to work or not coming in even though he has no time off left. Oh yeah, I also heard he doesn't like me. Never done anything to him, haven't said more that 20 words to him (nor he to me), never gave him any reason not to like me. Life isn't fair.

    And that's just work shit since 1999. I could go into policy changes at USSB that screwed me out of promotions, or the time in my first job when I actually sort of got a promotion, but 3 months later they eliminated the job. Life isn't fair.

    I'm not even going to get into my personal life. And believe me, if you think the world of work hasn't been fair to me, you should hear about me personal life.

    And I could get into my health. Thousands of dollars of medical expenses have been incurred by me recently. How much has my insurance picked up? Thirty dollars. Thanks motherfuckers. I've paid more than that in premiums. I'd be better off without insurance. Think about that. I'd be financially better off without health insurance. The prime deciding factor in taking my current job, and I'd be financially better off without it. Life isn't fair.

    Life isn't fair, and I could bitch about it. I do bitch about it. A lot. Doesn't do any good though. I know that. Nothing is going to change just because I want it to. Regardless of how unfair life has been and continues to be to me, I'm still glad to have a life. I'm still glad to be here. I wake up every day thinking, hoping things will be better for me. Amazingly enough, sometime they are. Most days, however, life throws me another curve that I have to deal with.

    I always have in the past. I'll have to continue to, I guess.


    Tuesday, October 17, 2006


    Iraqi Leaders Call For Moment Of Violence During Ramadan

    Leaders from some of Iraq's many warring
    factions called for a unified moment of violence
    to mark the blessed month of Ramadan.
    From The Onion:

    "All of us fighting for control of this land, whether Baathists, Sunni militants, al-Qaeda sympathizers, al-Sadrites, or just plain street criminals, have one thing in common," read a statement released Monday by the ad-hoc group. "We all share a deep abiding commitment to the indiscriminate use of murder, mayhem, and massacre as a means of achieving our various ends."

    "Therefore," the statement continued, "this Ramadan, we shall take time to see past the things that separate us, and celebrate, together, a moment of horrifying brutality for the citizens of Iraq."

    It's The Onion. I'm not kidding, you should be reading it instead of this.




    Positive About the Fairer Sex

    In my most general Positive Monday post ever, I'm going to talk about women and how much I really like them. And it is a general post, don't read too much into it. Of course, I won't be totally positive, but, well, you've all seen how this works so you'll have a pretty good idea of what to expect.

    I've really only been in love 3 times in my life. I've had other relationships with women, but they failed, ultimately because we weren't in love (at least I wasn't, in truth, I can't speak for others involved in the situation). Then again, the 3 relationships where I was in love failed the same as the ones where I wasn't. And while I'll joke about the women who decided I wasn't worth keeping around (it was never my decision to break off a committed relationship), every time it really hurt.

    Sometimes I'll say that the ex-wife sort of went insane, same with 2C. In both cases there's probably a little bit of truth in that. In fairness, though, I did things to drive both of them away, I'm man enough to admit that. I'll assign blame to them, but I'm willing to take my share as well. As for 5-55, I still don't understand that. She's a really good person, the only woman I've ever been seriously involved with who will still talk to me. She broke it off in a completely unexpected fashion on the day I moved 1300 miles to be with her. At least we went out and had a couple of beers first.

    But that's a huge part of what I like about women. When I was a kid, I very seldom looked for my Christmas presents in my parents' closet. That would have ruined Christmas Eve (we opened gifts on Christmas Eve, I think, because we're very impatient people). I like surprises. I like not knowing what's going to happen. I'm good at making plans, but I don't (usually) freak out when things don't go according to plan. While I like good surprises better, the bad ones, the things I don't want to deal with but have to are the flip side of the coin that make the good surprises that much better.

    Please don't think that I only think of women as candidates for relationships (candidates for relationships, yeah that's romantic, no wonder I don't have a girlfriend). I have and have had lots of wonderful female friends. I'm sure I always will. I've had female friends who I've found ridiculously attractive but who I know a romantic relationship isn't going to work with. Sometimes I'm OK with that. Sometimes I'm not, but it shouldn't mean that we can still be friends. There has been a tension in some of those friendships, and who knows, maybe they will explode into something else someday, or maybe we'll just stay friends. Truthfully, either way is OK.

    I worked with a woman at DirecTV who I always thought was fun but we didn't have a whole lot of contact with each other at work. After my employment with the company had ended and while I was still living in California, a whole bunch of us who formerly worked together (some still with the company) went out for drinks. She was there, I'd give her a nickname, but I can't think of one right now (MonyP sometimes refers to her as Almond Rocca because..... oh, this is way to personal). She confided that she'd always found me attractive and by the end of the night we were making out. A pleasant surprise to say the least.

    It happened again a few months later at MonyP's birthday. This young lady and I began making out in a Mexican restaurant. I probably wouldn't have thought of it except that MonyP took a couple of pictures of us kissing and they're in a photo album that I was looking at last night.

    The whole thing, each time actually, was completely unexpected. I'd seen no indication that anything like this was going to happen. I've stated before that I'm an idiot when it comes to women, that I don't seem to see when things are coming. Maybe, subconsciously anyway, I'm trying to be surpsised, I'm trying not to notice what's coming next.

    It goes the other way too. The first time 2C and I went out, I had decided that I wasn't going to sleep with her. I wasn't even going to try to sleep with her. I'd had a string of relationships that had progressed too quickly and sort of collapsed under their own weight. 2C seemed to be a nice girl and I wanted to try to have a relationship with her before sex clouded things. Ironically, she told me later that she was trying to do exactly the same thing. We both failed miserably, which we both found very satisfying.

    So our relationship started with a great surprise. After a couple of weeks, though, I was constantly worried about our relationship. Things we constantly rough. It felt like it could fall apart at any moment. She'd get pissed of at me for seemingly no reason, I'd do the same with her. We'd be on the verge of ending it and then, somehow get back together. When it finally ended after 3 months, it was actually a relief. It was a surprise, that while I saw it coming, still came in an unexpected manner.

    When men complain about women, one thing that we'll bring up is the wild mood swings. I've been screamed at by a woman in a bar (Leo's Lounge, Vermillion, SD December 1994) and while I didn't particularly enjoy that, it does make for an entertaining story. The ex-wife had the wildest mood swings of any person I've ever met. It wasn't easy, but I learned to deal with it. It lead to more surprises. Some good, some not so good, but never boring. 2C was a little bit the same way, but let's face it, she had a high standard to live up to. In truth all women have a little bit of that in them (in my limited experience, anyway), but complaining about it is pointless. It's like complaining that women have breasts. They've all got them. OK, maybe that's not the best analogy, I like women's breast better than their crazy hormonal mood swings. Actually, there probably isn't a really good analogy, but hopefully you get the point.

    The whole can't live with 'em - can't live without 'em thing about women has a lot of truth in it. But the things that make us crazy about women just serve to, well, make us crazy about women. And I'm really glad that I haven't figured them out completely. I never want to.


    Monday, October 16, 2006


    Fake Gambling Results Week 6 - Yikes!

    Took a beating this week, and Jason didn't do a whole lot better. At least I still have enough fake money left to cover all of my loses. Fake gambling results for Week 6:

  • Buffalo (-1) 17 at Detroit 20 -$300

  • Oakland 3 at Denver 13 (-14.5) (MGM Mirage Line) -$100

  • Chicago (-10.5) 24 at Arizona 23 (MGM Mirage Line) - $200

  • Week 6 Against the Spread: 0-3
    Week 6 Over/Unders: 0-0

    BOJ Season Against the Spread: 9-8-1
    BOJ Season Over/Unders: 5-2
    BOJ Balance for Week 6: -$600
    BOJ Total Amount Remaining: +$1300

  • Seattle (-3) 30 at St. Louis 28 -$100

  • Giants 27 at Atlanta (-3) 14 -$50

  • Carolina (+3) 23 at Baltimore 21 +$100

  • Oakland 3 at Denver 13 (-15) -$200

  • Week 6 Against the Spread: 1-3
    Week 6 Over/Unders: 0-0

    Jason Season Against the Spread: 1-3
    Jason Season Over/Unders: 0-0
    Jason Balance for Week 6: -$250
    Jason Total Amount Remaining: $750

    Detroit wins outright, the Broncos play conservative offense and simply don't score against a horrid Raiders team and Chicago nearly lets Arizona win, forget about covering the ten and a half points. Jason reeled in the only winner of the week picking the underdog Panthers over the Ravens. In retrospect, I should have taken that game as well. If I was allowed to bet in retrospect, I wouldn't be languishing near .500 for the season.

    Live and learn. I'll do better next week.



    DHMO Update - More Personal Effects

    Once again, DHMO rears its ugly head in my
    personal life.
    I don't really want to go into it in too much detail, but I woke up today and I had a problem. There was DHMO in my urine. DHMO in MY Urine!!!! This is the kind of thing that's supposed to happen to other people, not to me.

    You read books about this happening, see people deal with it on Dr. Phil or Oprah, see made for TV movies about it on the Lifetime Network (with titles that contain a colon, something like DHMO in My Urine: The Deirdre Staudtmeir Story), but it's not supposed to happen to me.

    Last week, DHMO in its solid form forced me to change my plans (even though my Subaru has solid DHMO defeating technology). This week, it's turned even more personal. DHMO in my Urine. As soon as I'm done here, I'm on the phone to my doctor. I figured I owed it to you, the fine readers of The Globex Corporation Newsletter to let you know that this current affliction may curtail my blogging some. I pray that it doesn't. I'll be strong for you, but I'll have good days and bad days. Hopefully the bad days will coincide with the MBW.



    Sunday, October 15, 2006


    Raiders 3 - Broncos 13

    just win
    Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer runs for a first
    down on an early Broncos drive against Oakland (AP).
    It's weird to come away from a 10 point victory feeling bad, and not just because the Broncos didn't cover the spread. Again, the Broncos showed an inability to put the ball in the endzone, while denying their opponent the same. It works, I suppose, but a team as bad as the Raiders shouldn't be allowed to hang around in the game as long as they did.

    It would have been nice if the Broncos would have showed a little more offense, to open up the passing game, to allow rookie QB Jay Cutler to get into the game in the fourth quarter. It would have been nice if the Broncos covered the spread, but that's really just selfish on my part.

    The Broncos made plays when they had to on offense and defense. The Raiders helped by commiting stupid penalties at an alarming rate, but for the most part, the Broncos made plays, the 51 yard pass to Javon Walker in the 2nd quarter, the runs by Tatum Bell in the 4th quarter, the Raiders 4th down play in the 3rd quarter. And Jake Plummer once again didn't make any stupid mistakes.

    And that defense. I know the way the defense was playing effected the offensive play calling for Denver. The Broncos shut down a pretty good RB in Lamont Jordan.

    It's a win. I'll take it. I don't want to have to take any more like this one.



    Blogging the Halftime
    Raiders 0 - Broncos 13

    Dear God, I knew the Raiders were bad, but THIS bad? Wow!

    The Broncos scored their first opening quarter points against the Raiders. Good sign even if it's against the Raiders. And once again, opposing QB's arent' showing respect for Broncos All-Galaxy CB, Champ Bailey.

    The good guys are only up by 13, however, and both Jason and I need another score to cover in the whole fake gambling thing.

    With that in mind, and if T1G won't bitch too much, here's the first half play by play:

    Oakland Raiders at 15:00
    S.Janikowski kicks 70 yards from OAK 30 to end zone, Touchback.
    Denver Broncos at 15:00
    1-10-DEN20 (15:00) J.Plummer pass short middle to T.Bell to DEN 19 for -1 yards (T.Howard).
    2-11-DEN19 (14:22) T.Bell left guard to DEN 24 for 5 yards (D.Burgess, S.Schweigert).
    3-6-DEN24 (13:44) J.Plummer pass short left to T.Bell to DEN 40 for 16 yards (N.Asomugha).
    1-10-DEN40 (13:02) J.Plummer pass short left to T.Bell to DEN 36 for -4 yards (K.Morrison).
    2-14-DEN36 (12:20) T.Bell right guard to DEN 41 for 5 yards (W.Sapp).
    3-9-DEN41 (11:39) J.Plummer scrambles up the middle to OAK 48 for 11 yards (T.Howard).
    1-10-OAK48 (10:56) M.Bell left guard to OAK 46 for 2 yards (S.Williams).
    2-8-OAK46 (10:18) J.Plummer pass short right to C.Sapp to OAK 44 for 2 yards (M.Huff).
    3-6-OAK44 (9:38) J.Plummer pass incomplete deep middle to J.Walker (T.Kelly).
    4-6-OAK44 (9:31) P.Ernster punts 28 yards to OAK 16, Center-M.Leach, fair catch by C.Carr.
    Oakland Raiders at 09:23
    1-10-OAK17 (9:23) Direction Change. L.Jordan right guard to OAK 21 for 4 yards (DJ.Williams).
    2-6-OAK21 (8:52) L.Jordan up the middle to OAK 21 for no gain (E.Ekuban).
    3-6-OAK21 (8:14) A.Walter pass short middle to R.Moss to OAK 27 for 6 yards (I.Gold).
    1-10-OAK27 (7:34) L.Jordan right tackle to OAK 28 for 1 yard (E.Ekuban, DJ.Williams).
    2-9-OAK28 (6:54) A.Walter pass short middle to C.Anderson to OAK 43 for 15 yards (N.Ferguson).
    1-10-OAK43 (6:16) L.Jordan left guard to OAK 38 for -5 yards (E.Ekuban, DJ.Williams).
    2-15-OAK38 (5:34) A.Walter pass incomplete short right to C.Anderson (DJ.Williams).
    1-10-OAK37 (5:07) L.Jordan left guard to OAK 43 for 6 yards (J.Engelberger, N.Ferguson).
    2-4-OAK43 (4:26) L.Jordan left tackle to OAK 45 for 2 yards (J.Lynch).
    3-2-OAK45 (3:45) PENALTY on OAK-R.Gallery, False Start, 5 yards, enforced at OAK 45 - No Play.
    3-7-OAK40 (3:19) A.Walter pass short left to L.Jordan to DEN 44 for 16 yards (A.Wilson).
    1-10-DEN44 (2:48) J.Fargas right tackle to DEN 38 for 6 yards (D.Veal, C.Bailey).
    2-4-DEN38 (2:28) J.Fargas right guard to DEN 36 for 2 yards (K.Lang).
    3-2-DEN36 (1:46) A.Walter pass incomplete deep middle to R.Moss (J.Lynch).
    4-2-DEN36 (1:38) S.Janikowski 54 yard field goal is No Good, Wide Right, Center-A.Treu, Holder-S.Lechler.
    Denver Broncos at 01:33
    1-10-DEN44 (1:33) J.Plummer pass deep middle to J.Walker to OAK 2 for 54 yards (N.Asomugha).
    1-2-OAK2 (:42) T.Bell left guard for 2 yards, TOUCHDOWN.
    J.Elam extra point is GOOD, Center-M.Leach, Holder-J.Plummer.
    OAK 0 DEN 7, Plays: 2 Yards: 56 Possession: 0:54.

    Denver Broncos at 00:39
    P.Ernster kicks 70 yards from DEN 30 to end zone, Touchback.
    Oakland Raiders at 00:39
    1-10-OAK20 (:39) L.Jordan right tackle to OAK 26 for 6 yards (M.Myers).
    PENALTY on OAK-Z.Crockett, Offensive Holding, 10 yards, enforced at OAK 20 - No Play.
    1-20-OAK10 (:10) L.Jordan left end ran ob at OAK 10 for no gain (Da.Williams).
    Second Quarter
    Oakland Raiders continued...
    2-20-OAK10 (15:00) A.Walter pass short middle to J.Madsen to OAK 15 for 5 yards (I.Gold).
    3-15-OAK15 (14:19) L.Jordan left tackle to OAK 17 for 2 yards (A.Wilson, D.Veal).
    4-13-OAK17 (13:37) S.Lechler punts 51 yards to DEN 32, Center-A.Treu. Da.Williams to DEN 38 for 6 yards (S.Williams).
    Denver Broncos at 13:25
    1-10-DEN38 (13:25) J.Plummer pass incomplete short left to S.Alexander (R.Thomas).
    2-10-DEN38 (13:19) T.Bell right tackle to DEN 45 for 7 yards (T.Howard, S.Schweigert).
    3-3-DEN45 (12:40) J.Plummer pass short left to J.Walker to 50 for 5 yards (R.Thomas, N.Asomugha).
    1-10-50 (12:01) T.Bell right tackle to 50 for no gain (K.Morrison; T.Kelly).
    PENALTY on OAK-S.Routt, Unnecessary Roughness, 15 yards, enforced at 50.
    1-10-OAK35 (11:30) J.Plummer pass incomplete short left to R.Smith (N.Asomugha).
    2-10-OAK35 (11:25) T.Bell right tackle to OAK 31 for 4 yards (W.Sapp).
    3-6-OAK31 (10:47) J.Plummer sacked at OAK 33 for -2 yards (L.Johnstone).
    4-8-OAK33 (10:15) J.Elam 51 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-M.Leach, Holder-J.Plummer.
    OAK 0 DEN 10, Plays: 8 Yards: 29 Possession: 3:16.

    Denver Broncos at 10:09
    P.Ernster kicks 70 yards from DEN 30 to end zone, Touchback.
    Oakland Raiders at 10:09
    1-10-OAK20 (10:09) PENALTY on OAK-C.Anderson, False Start, 5 yards, enforced at OAK 20 - No Play.
    1-15-OAK15 (10:09) J.Fargas up the middle to OAK 18 for 3 yards (N.Ferguson, A.Wilson).
    2-12-OAK18 (9:27) A.Walter pass incomplete deep right to A.Whitted.
    3-12-OAK18 (9:18) PENALTY on OAK-C.Slaughter, False Start, 5 yards, enforced at OAK 18 - No Play.
    3-17-OAK13 (9:18) A.Walter sacked at OAK 4 for -9 yards (E.Dumervil).
    4-26-OAK4 (8:45) S.Lechler punts 53 yards to DEN 43, Center-A.Treu. Da.Williams pushed ob at DEN 47 for 4 yards (R.Thomas).
    Denver Broncos at 08:33
    1-10-DEN47 (8:33) J.Walker left end to OAK 24 for 29 yards (S.Schweigert). Double Reverse
    1-10-OAK24 (7:49) T.Bell right tackle to OAK 24 for no gain (T.Sands).
    2-10-OAK24 (7:10) J.Plummer pass short right to T.Bell to OAK 24 for no gain (D.Burgess).
    3-10-OAK24 (6:28) PENALTY on OAK-A.Hawthorne, Encroachment, 5 yards, enforced at OAK 24 - No Play.
    3-5-OAK19 (6:07) T.Bell up the middle to OAK 9 for 10 yards (T.Howard).
    1-9-OAK9 (5:27) T.Bell up the middle to OAK 5 for 4 yards (D.Burgess).
    2-5-OAK5 (4:47) T.Bell up the middle to OAK 4 for 1 yard (T.Kelly).
    3-4-OAK4 (4:07) J.Plummer pass incomplete short right to C.Sapp.
    4-4-OAK4 (4:02) J.Elam 22 yard field goal is GOOD, Center-M.Leach, Holder-J.Plummer.
    OAK 0 DEN 13, Plays: 8 Yards: 49 Possession: 4:34.

    Denver Broncos at 03:59
    P.Ernster kicks 74 yards from DEN 30 to OAK -4. C.Carr to OAK 22 for 26 yards (K.Burns).
    PENALTY on OAK-J.Cooper, Offensive Holding, 10 yards, enforced at OAK 22.
    Oakland Raiders at 03:54
    1-10-OAK12 (3:54) L.Jordan right tackle to OAK 17 for 5 yards (C.Bailey, A.Wilson).
    2-5-OAK17 (3:15) A.Walter pass short middle to R.Moss to OAK 21 for 4 yards (J.Lynch).
    3-1-OAK21 (2:28) A.Walter pass deep left to R.Moss to DEN 28 for 51 yards (Da.Williams; J.Lynch).
    1-10-DEN28 (2:00) PENALTY on OAK-B.Sims, False Start, 5 yards, enforced at DEN 28 - No Play.
    1-15-DEN33 (2:00) L.Jordan right tackle to DEN 28 for 5 yards (A.Wilson, N.Ferguson).
    2-10-DEN28 (1:17) A.Walter pass deep left intended for R.Moss INTERCEPTED by C.Bailey at DEN 1. C.Bailey ran ob at DEN 1 for no gain (R.Moss). Play Challenged by Review Assistant and Upheld.
    Denver Broncos at 01:09
    1-10-DEN1 (1:09) J.Plummer up the middle to DEN 2 for 1 yard (W.Sapp).
    2-9-DEN2 (:29) J.Plummer right guard to DEN 3 for 1 yard (W.Sapp; T.Kelly).


    Saturday, October 14, 2006


    Onion Radio News

    Doyle Redland
    With Doyle Redland

    Wal-Mart Discontinues Lady Things

    Listen to the story here.

    You really should be reading The Onion. It's where I get all of my news, and I'm pretty well adjusted.



    Friday, October 13, 2006


    I Drag Another One Down With Me

    Cool, Jason Bott from work decided to start fake gambling with me! I'll be posting his picks along with mine. He's starting here on Week 6, so I've got a $900 lead on him.

    Reviewing my picks for Week 6:

  • Buffalo (-1) at Detroit - $300

  • Oakland at Denver (-14.5) (MGM Mirage Line) - $100

  • Chicago (-10.5) at Arizona (MGM Mirage Line) - $200

  • BOJ's Week 6 Stake: $1900
    BOJ's Week 6 Wagered: $600

    And on to Jason's:

  • Seattle (-3) at St. Louis - $100

  • Giants at Atlanta (-3) - $50

  • Carolina (+3) at Baltimore - $100

  • Oakland at Denver (-15) - $200

  • Jason's Week 6 Stake: $1000
    Jason's Week 6 Wagered: $450

    Far be it from me to critique anyone else's picks, but I don't mind his Seattle pick, but I stayed away because of the Shaun Alexander injury. Still, the Seahawks are a better team and should come away victorious, three points not too many to give up.

    As I stated last week, I think the Giants are a talented mess. I keep waiting for them to implode. They put it together last week against the 'Skins, but I could certainly see them falling to Atlanta on the road.

    Baltimore is looking more and more overrated. Taking the Panthers and getting 3 points against a team with no offense seems like a good pick.

    My feelings on the Oakland/Denver game are public. Jason seems a little more enthused about giving up 15 points than I did. He also isn't as good a shopper as me. I found the game for 14.5 points at MGM Mirage's sportsbook. For the record, I get my spreads from

    And Jason lead me to this letter sent into Bill Simmons - The Sports Guy:

    Dave from Washington: "The Raiders suck so bad that they are 15-point underdogs to a team that scores 12.2 points a game. This has to be a sports first. The sickest part? The Broncos are a mortal lock to cover."

    He's probably right and so is Jason for putting more of the fake moolah on the game than I did.

    We'll see what Sunday brings.



    Inflate My Numbers!

    It was cute, and non-political enough to post here, but I chose to only put it on the other site.

    Click HERE to see what I'm talking about, and help inflate the numbers of two inconsequencial blogs.



    Sue Foley Photo Friday

    Looking somewhat innocent... She's
    not, but it makes for a good picture....
    I try to have as many pictures of Sue actually playing guitar as possible. I don't want anyone to think that the only reason that I dedicate valuable blog space to Sue is because I think she's a babe. I don't expect you to believe that I post her photo here weekly because she's a great blues guitarist. B.B. King is a great blues guitarist, but I haven't posted his photo on this blog once. I did post a photo of the late John Lee Hooker on his birthday, though, so I have posted photos of blues guitarists here before.

    Sue Foley easily tops the list of blues guitarists I've posted photos of. I could make a graph, but I'd probably be accused of giving Sue more blog space.

    I'll admit it, Sue is here weekly, I have Sue Foley Photo Friday because she's easy on the eyes. Oddly, I don't recall one single search engine hit by people looking for Sue Foley. I mention Scarlet Johannsen once (well, now twice) and I get hits every couple of weeks.

    And, lets face it, I've found lots of photos of Sue on the web, I'm nowhere near running out of fresh photos. Apparently I'm not the only guy who enjoys photos of blues guitarists.


    Thursday, October 12, 2006


    Terrell Owens Blames Poor Game On Drew Bledsoe, Offensive Line, Hamid Karzai, NASA, Samsung

    From The Onion, America's Finest Sports Source:

    "I can't catch the ball if the quarterback can't pull the trigger on those passes, and he can't get the pass off if no one's blocking—and who can maintain concentration when [Afghan president] Hamid Karzai is criticizing [Pakistani leader Pervez] Musharraf for not doing enough to stop extremists in his country?" Owens said in response to reporters' questions regarding how he was feeling.

    You can read my crappy little excerpt, or you can go to The Onion for the whole story.




    "Have I Told You the One About the Handsome and Dynamic Blog Operator and the Fake Gambling?"

    A heady Week 5 (and Week 5.1) where I won a cool 500 fake dollars. I'll try not to make it a habit to do the last minute bets like I did on Monday Night, but I was on a roll and I really had a fake gambling jones. Worked, though, so I was quite happy with the results.

    That said, it's time for a let down, I guess. Here are my Week 6 picks"

  • Buffalo (-1) at Detroit - $300

  • Oakland at Denver (-14.5) (MGM Mirage Line) - $100

  • Chicago (-10.5) at Arizona (MGM Mirage Line) - $200

  • Week 6 Stake: $1900
    Week 6 Wagered: $600

    What can I say, the book at the MGM Mirage offers the best lines for the intelligent fake gambler this week.

    I've gotta be missing something here, but I can't see how the Bills are only one point favorites against the Lions. There's perceived talent in Detroit, but it somehow never shines through. I'm betting (obviously) that it will remail hidden in Week 6 as well.

    In the Monday Nighter, the Bears have proven themselves the class of the NFC so far this year. They are the league leader in points allowed (totally expected) AND points scored (shocking to me, anyway). All this talk about Brian Griese at QB for the Bears during the preseason seems to have been overblown. Unbelievable play by Rex Grossman this season, and though he will most likely come crashing back to reality at some point I'm betting (obviously) that it won't be this week.

    Finally, in the compulsory round, I take the Broncos over the Raiders. Because I said I would. Let me point out that I have never before given up fourteen and a half points in a wager, fake or otherwise. I can't recall ever seeing a spread this high in a preseason NFL game (I saw two higher in the playoffs in 1994-1995, and Super Bowl III had a larger point spread). Of course I haven't followed the spreads as religiously as I once did, but 14.5 is a lot of points to give. But I did. Can you tell that I'm not really pleased with this pick? Still, the Raiders have not beaten the spread all season and Randy Moss is a complete asshole. Fourteen and a half points? Yeah, it could happen, the Raiders are that kind of bad.

    To quote Art Shell about the Raiders:

    "You can't play the game and make as many mistakes as we did and expect to win. ... We're just not that good to do that."

    Thanks to Jason Bott for bringing the fake gambling quote of the week to my attention.



    Pointless Shit
    And I've Really Outdone Myself This Time.....

    Wake the kids, phone the neighbors, it's your......

    2006 MLS MVP candidates

    Player, Team GP GS Min. G A PK
    Jeff Cunningham, RSL 30 25 2314 16 11 4
    Christian Gomez, D.C. 29 27 2283 12 11 0
    Ante Razov, Chivas 27 27 2407 14 8 0
    Carlos Ruiz, Dallas 26 24 2040 13 5 0
    Dwayne DeRosario, Hou. 29 28 2444 11 5 2

    C'mon, no talk of a goalie?!? Yeah, Jeff Cunningham of Real Salt Lake has had a great season and all, but you just don't win in this league without good goal tending. And where the hell is Chivas? Actually I know, and I get paid pretty well to watch these two hour snooze fests......


    Wednesday, October 11, 2006


    Onion Radio News

    Doyle Redland
    With Doyle Redland

    Selfish Scientists Won't Share Findings

    Listen to the story here.

    It's from The Onion, you should be reading that instead of this.




    Just How Great of a Guy am I?
    I Sing it 15 Times, So It Must Be True

    I could bitch and moan about how not a fucking thing has gone right for me since midnight, after all, that's what the MBW is all about. But it'd be unproductive and, besides, my right hand (the same one mentioned in song...) is giving me a little trouble today, so typig about every little fucking thing that's gone wrong today would not only be futile, but also painful.

    So, instead, I'll post my most recent song. In my defense, and in an attempt to make a tenuous link to the MBW, I'll point out that this song came from a very bitchy place. And I bitch in it. And through my bitching I reaize what a selfish asshole I can be. See, bitching can be good for the soul. I probably shouldn't exhibit my self-discovery for the whole world to see, but that's the way I do things.

    So here's the words, sing along if you like. Want the guitar chords? G, C, D and A minor. I wrote it, so you should be able to figure it out.....


    You can't deny that there's a spark......
    When we're kissing in the dark......
    'Less I've completely missed the mark......
    I don't want to hear you say
    That I'm a great guy...but...

    I'll help with groceries from the store
    'Cuz I'm a great guy
    I'll hold your hand and nothing more
    'Cuz I'm a great guy
    I'll even walk you to your door
    'Cuz I'm a great guy
    I'll be just what you want me to
    'Cuz I'm a great guy

    I'll hold you up when you are weak
    'Cuz I'm a great guy
    I'll be your voice when you are meek
    'Cuz I'm a great guy
    Won't even call you once this week
    'Cuz I'm a great guy
    I'll give you all the space you need
    'Cuz I'm a great guy

    Chorus One
    Things are complicated
    And your life is in a mess
    I'll keep my distance
    Try not to cause you too much stress
    No guarentees
    But I promise that I'll try
    And you know the reason why
    'Cuz I'm a great guy

    Harmonca Break

    Chorus Two

    If I'm a great guy
    Then why aren't you with me
    We'd be so happy
    Anyone could see
    I think about us
    And it almost makes me cry
    Remember you're the one who said
    I'm a great guy

    Chorus Three
    If I'm a great guy
    Then why do I get so mad
    I act so awful
    Say things I wish I never had
    I've got my limits
    No matter how hard I try
    And I know the reason why
    I'm not such a great guy - but I try

    I'll hold you up when you are weak
    I'll be your voice when you are meek
    Whenever things are looking bleak
    I'll remember
    That you still think I'm a great guy


    Tuesday, October 10, 2006


    Separated at Birth?

    Dennis Miller
    John Tortella
    ....or just a kooky coincidence. I get to (read "have to") watch lots of NHL Hockey at work. I've never watched much hocky in my life up to this point, so maybe this is old news to seasoned NHL fans (the ones remaining after their most recent work stoppage). But I watched my first Tampa Bay Lightning game last season (yeah, I know, who knew they played hockey in Florida?) and I was stunned, stunned I tell you when I saw the first shot of the Lightning's head coach. Wow!

    I can no longer watch a Tampa Bay NHL game because shit like the following goes through my head, in Dennis Miller's voice:

    ...I mean, I don't want to get off on a rant here... but the fucking Bruin's power play is oddlly reminiscent of the Athenians' counter-attack at the Battle of Thermopalye.... ah, fuck it, who wants pie?

    No, no, that's all. Just wanted to get that off my chest. Go on with your day. Sorry to have bothered you.



    Positive About the American Spirit

    consistant loser
    I swear, mom, I'm not in this photo
    I love this country, love everything about it. I love Columbus Day, which we celebrated yesterday. To celebrate, I dressed up and tights and told the sovereign that I'd found a new route to India. Boy did I have a good laugh. It was special for me because it's the first Columbus Day I'd been able to celebrate since 2002. You see, I spent the last couple of years in South Dakota and we didn't celebrate Columbus Day, oh no, we had Native American Day. I don't think it was illegal to talk or think about Columbus on that day, but I never pushed it, doing everything I could to forget about Columbus' failure to do what he told the King and Queen of Spain he did. My personal celebrations for Native American Day are different then they are for Columbus Day. Generally I would accept treaties and firewater from people I really had no business trusting, relocated to the crappiest land imaginable then died of smallpox.

    I joke, but I love the American Spirit. I love that this country celebrates a man who, trying to find India, "discovered" a "new world" that was already inhabited by millions of humans. I love that the state of South Dakota, that Columbus never set foot in, rejects Columbus Day and celebrates the people who were already here when Columbus arrived on our shores (actually he never set foot on the North American continent, landing in Haiti and Cuba - worthwhile discoveries, both of those.....). To confuse matters further, when I was in college at the University of South Dakota, we celebrated Pioneer Day. I wasn't into weird celebrations then, but if I did I probably would have built a sod house, talked loudly about Manifest Destiny and complained about all the grasshoppers.

    This post is supposed to be about the American Spirit but I keep getting sidetracked. Here I go. New Orleans. Of the American cities that I've never seen, New Orleans has always been at the top of my list for ones I want to visit. I love eating and drinking. Let's face it, those are two things you can definitely get your fill of in that particular city. New Orleans is about entertainment. I know they have other industries, but civic and state leaders agree, to bring the people back, to rebuild New Orleans, it has to become a tourist destination. That's why lots of disaster relief dollars went to rebuilding the Superdome. That's why the NFL has bent over backwards to keep the Saints in New Orleans. That's why they schedulted a Monday Night Football game in New Orleans a few weeks ago. It was an effort by the government and the NFL, a message that New Orleans is back.

    I read about another indication that New Orleans is back today in the New Orleans Times-Picayune. New Orleans is back, baby, because the whores have returned!

    Hookers Follow Workers' Dollars

    For prostitutes working the streets of New Orleans, the post-flood era has sparked a boom in business, largely owing to the influx of an estimated 40,000 to 50,000 out-of-town workers away from their families with money to blow...

    Many out-of-town prostitutes have come to New Orleans for the same reasons they might visit another city during, say, a major sporting event. "They follow the Super Bowls, the big games, conventions, things like that. What we have here is like the Super Bowl..."

    That's the American spirit. It's entrepreneurialism of the highest order. It's what this great country was built on, you see a need, in this case workers rebuilding a devestated city with lots of money to blow while away from their families, and you fill that need by providing a nescessary service.

    And while police are making prostitution arrests, actually more than before the disaster, they are a little more lax on there enforcement, allowing entrepreneurialism to flourish.

    It often takes a transfer of cash (to make an arrest), "getting naked with them" and clear evidence that the prostitute wants to trade a sexual favor for cash and not just because "she thinks you're hot...."

    Like the entepreneurs they are, the hookers are reinventing themselves, using technology to get around those pesky laws and market themselves.

    Prostitutes hand prospective clients a card with an e-mail or Web-site address where they can make "dates."

    The new technique makes it much more difficult for vice officers to make cases because they only get the e-mail address on the initial face-to-face meeting, and then only if the prostitute believes they're a real customer and not a cop. Only later, after making the date via e-mail, can they make an arrest at the second meeting.

    Mareting and legal geniuses, those whores.

    The Globex Corporation Newletter salutes the American spirit, salutes the whores who are making New Orleans a more liveable place by servicing those working so hard to rebuild the devestated city. The American spirit, it can't be beat. Well, it can, but that'll cost you extra......


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