Thursday, July 24, 2008


My "Music" "Career"

TSA used to refer to himself and me as "quotey finger" musicians. The inference was that we weren't real "musicians," people might call us "musicians," but we knew better. We were in it to have fun, not for any personal gain. We played music as much for the opportunity to talk between songs as playing the actual songs.

In spite of that, I've had, upon reflection, something of a music career. When I think about myself and playing music, I can break it down into six ensembles/periods:

  • "Blind Orange" Julius (when I didn't know what I was doing)
    I'm really proud of the fact that the first song I ever played in front of an audience was one I had written. It was a Thursday night at "Knight's Cellar" in Spearfish, an open mic. I was ridiculously nervous, having never done something like this. I liked it enough that I kept doing it. An evening a couple of months later at "Cheers" in the RC saw me playing for an hour. That was every song I knew. I met two guys named Andy that night which led to the real beginning of my playing music.

    Regrets: None

  • Patient 957
    The two Andys (JB and TSA) started playing together. JB was the songwriter and even though I was writing songs at this time, they weren't things that 957 would have done well. I read a quote about Ben Folds Five where Ben referred to the band as "Punk rock for wussies." That described the 957 sound as well as anything.

    Things actually went pretty well, but there was always friction. I'll admit that I was a lot of the problem. After adding a bass player (the fantastic ONA), we had three paying gigs and were scheduled for a fourth. The first band any of us had ever been in was actually something of a success.

    Regrets: I sometimes think of how good we could we could have been if we'd have put any effort into it. No recordings of "Bitch" or good recordings of "Gleemonex" in existence.

  • Slappy is Jebus
    Me and TSA being dorks. Really. Surprisingly, when we tried serious material it worked pretty well, but we'd rather turn everything into a joke.

    The open mic thing sort of turned into a popularity thing. We were having so much fun that we often "won." The fact that anybody wanted to hear us when they had already seen so many good musicians is testament to what enjoying yourself on stage can translate into.

    Regrets: That I moved and it didn't go on forever... No recording of "Vibrator Dependant."

  • "Blind Orange" Julius (while in the RC)
    TSA worked nights. I sometimes hit open mics without him. Oddly, people noticed. I'm no kind of guitatrist, but people seemed to overlook that. I was popular.

    Often it was me trying out material for SIJ, "Two Condoms" really took off on a Tuesday night in Piedmont.

    Regrets: No recording of "I Know All the Presidents in Order."

  • Mike & Doug
    The only serious music I was ever involved in. I enjoyed this in a different way than anything else I've done.

    Mike was trying to do music as a career and worked hard at it. I had to work hard just to keep up. I probably didn't work hard enough for Mike's taste, relying instead on my limited talent.

    Regrets: Not working hard enough. No recordings of "A Day in the Life" or good recordings of "Hotel California."

  • "Blind Orange" Julius (post RC)
    Pretty limited. I actually got offered a solo gig after playing my first open mic in Ft. Collins. I was playing the best guitar of my life before the MS hit me so fucking hard. I still sucked, but I was acceptable when I added the harp to it. I learned to deal with my natural deficiencies and make decent music.

    I played the occasional open mic, played a lot in the park. I played in the front yard. I caught the eye of a very attractive lady, primarily through my music. I sure wish I'd have started the whole music thing earlier.

    All of my solo recording are from this period and I'm glad I have a record of this period.

    Regrets: I can't do it anymore. I only wrote one song in this period and it's too painful (physically and emotionally) to play.

  • BOJ

    Thursday, July 17, 2008


    Monday, July 07, 2008


    Someone Provide Me with the Family Tree

    nameMrs. T's Pierogies

    nameMr. & Mrs. T's Bloody Mary Mix

    nameMr. T


    Saturday, July 05, 2008


    Friday, July 04, 2008



    I watch TV for a living, primarily in HD, but that particular fact isn't applicable her.

    I see local stations from around the country. Sometimes I see products that aren't avialable in my area (like these really cool looking cream cheese filled bagel thingies that I can't find at my local Safeway). I've seen ads for Oscar Mayer 100% Beef Franks recently. Apparently, this product is now "beefier".

    Inflected Form(s): beef·i·er; beef·i·est
    2 a: of or suggesting beef [a beefy flavor] b: full of beef [a beefy steak]

    Since we've used the comparative (the -er) here, one can only assume that Oscar Mayer 100% Beef Franks are now more "full of beef".


    How can they possibly be "beefier"?

    Just wondering...


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    The Bert Convey
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