Wednesday, December 31, 2008


Places I Worked While Mike Shanahan Stayed in One Job in Denver

  • South Dakota Public Broadcasting

  • CycleSat Inc. defunct


  • U.S. Satellite Broadcasting defunct

  • DirecTV

  • Dish Network

  • DirecTV

  • Significant amounts of money made on a gameshow, gambling, as a musician and as a substitute teacher.

    Best of luck in the future, coach, no matter where you end up.

    ...unless it's in the AFC West...


    Tuesday, December 30, 2008

    The greatest generation
    Your parents aren't the greatest generation
    So sick of hearing about the greatest generation
    That generation could be you
    So let's see what you can do
    Korean parents and you

    Randy Newman
    "Korean Parents"
    Harps and Angels



    Losses to Non-Playoff Teams

    Playoff teams with odds to win Super Bowl XLIII and losses to non-playoff teams

    1. New York Giants (12-4) - 3/1
      Cleveland Browns, Dallas Cowboys

    2. Carolina Panthers (12-4) - 11/2
      Tampa Bay Buccaneers

    3. Minnesota Vikings (10-6) - 28/1
      Green Bay Packers, Chicago Bears, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

    4. Arizona Cardinals (9-7) - 40/1
      Washington Redskins, New York Jets, New England Patriots

    5. Atlanta Falcons (11-5) - 11/1
      Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Denver Broncos, New Orleans Saints

    6. Philadelphia Eagles (9-6-1) - 5/1
      Dallas Cowboys, Chicago Bears, Washington Redskins (Twice)

    1. Tennessee Titans (13-3) - 13/2
      New York Jets, Houston Texans

    2. Pittsburgh Steelers (12-4) - 5/1

    3. Miami Dolphins (11-5) - 25-1
      New York Jets, Houston Texans, New England Patriots

    4. San Diego Chargers (8-8) - 11/1
      Denver Broncos, Buffalo Bills, New Orleans Saints

    5. Indianapolis Colts (12-4) - 8/1
      Chicago Bears, Jacksonville Jaguars, Green Bay Packers

    6. Baltimore Ravens (11-5) - 14/1



    Tuesday, December 23, 2008


    NFL Rankings - Week 16

    1. (3)Tennessee Titans (13-2)
      Once again at #1

    2. (5) New York Giants (12-3)
      Stopped the slide

    3. (2)Carolina Panthers (11-4)
      Though loss to the Giants

    4. (4)Indianapolis Colts (11-4)
      Eight wins in a row!

    5. (1)Pittsburgh Steelers (11-4)
      Took it on the chin from the Titans

    6. (6)Atlanta Falcons (10-5)
      How good are these guys?

    7. (7)Baltimore Ravens (10-5)
      Pretty much ended the Cowboys' season

    8. (-)New England Patriots (10-5)
      So they're better than the Cards in the snow...

    9. (-)Miami Dolphins (10-5)
      Back in the Top 10

    10. (10)Minnesota Vikings (9-6)

    Out of Top 10: (8)Tampa Bay (9-6), (9)New York Jets (9-6)

    Teams on the Rise: Chicago Bears (9-6)

    ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
    Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
    CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
    NFL Standings






    She said "Mojo! Mojo what you got for me?"
    I said "Honey child, you know what Christmas present I got for you?"

    Unzip my pants
    Let my snake do a little dance
    Unzip my pants
    And I do a love dance
    Yes I give you good lovin'
    I put you in a love trance

    Mojo Nixon & The Toadliquors
    "It's Christmas Time"
    Horny Holidays

    Without question, my favorite Holiday album. You have a year to find it before next Christmas...


    Thursday, December 18, 2008


    End of an Era

    Due to the economic downturn, The Globex Corporation has suspended its sponsorship of The Globex Corporation presents the BOJ News Service Las Vegas Bowl.

    It was a great two year run. Lots of attention was brought to The Globex Corporation and whatever goods and/or services we may provide.

    The game continues, primary sponsorship being picked up by Pioneer Electronics.

    But it will always be The Globex Corporation presents the BOJ News Service Las Vegas Bowl to me...


    Wednesday, December 17, 2008

    From The Onion:

    Typo In Proposition 8 Defines Marriage As Between 'One Man And One Wolfman'

    SACRAMENTO, CA—Activists on both sides of the gay marriage debate were shocked this November, when a typographical error in California's Proposition 8 changed the state constitution to restrict marriage to a union between "one man and one wolfman," instantly nullifying every marriage except those comprised of an adult male and his lycanthrope partner. "The people of California made their voices heard today, and reaffirmed our age-old belief that the only union sanctioned in God's eyes is the union between a man and another man possessed by an ungodly lupine curse," state Sen. Tim McClintock said at a hastily organized rally celebrating passage of the new law. But opponents, including Bakersfield resident Patricia Millard—who is now legally banned from marrying her boyfriend, a human, non-wolfman male—claim it infringes on their civil liberties. "I love James just as much as a wolfman loves his husband," Millard said. "We deserve the same rights as any horrifying mythical abomination." On the heels of the historic typo, voters in Utah passed a similar referendum a week later, defining marriage as between one man and 23 wolfmen.


    Tuesday, December 16, 2008

    If it was easy everybody'd be hangin' on to love
    Might seem simple but I gotta admit I messed it up enough
    Feel like hidin' away and I could really use a shove
    I've been cut before

    Abby Someone
    Nervous Breakthrough



    NFL Rankings - Week 15

    1. (3)Pittsburgh Steelers (11-3)
      Tough game against a good Ravens team

    2. (2)Carolina Panthers (11-3)
      Though I hoped for it, as a Broncos fan I didn't expect a different result

    3. (1)Tennessee Titans (12-2)
      A loss to un-ranked Houston?

    4. (5)Indianapolis Colts (10-4)
      Good teams should destroy the Lions

    5. (4) New York Giants (11-3)
      Two losses in a row in the division

    6. (9)Atlanta Falcons (9-5)
      A quality win in OT

    7. (6)Baltimore Ravens (9-5)
      Played the Steelers tough

    8. (7)Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-5)
      Two losses in a row to two good teams

    9. (8)New York Jets (9-5)
      Almost let another one get away

    10. (-)Minnesota Vikings (9-5)
      Dismantled the Cardinals

    Out of Top 10: Miami Dolphins (9-5)

    Teams on the Rise:New England Patriots (9-5) Philadelphia Eagles (8-5-1)

    ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
    Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
    CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
    NFL Standings



    Monday, December 15, 2008

    From The Onion:

    Scientists Warn Large Earth Collider May Destroy Earth

    BATAVIA, IL—In October, Fermilab scientists joined a growing number of physicists around the world in warning that the Very Large Earth Collider—a $117 billion electromagnetic particle accelerator built to study astronomical phenomena by colliding Earth into various heavenly bodies—could potentially destroy Earth when it sends the planet careening headlong into Mars, Jupiter, or even the sun.

    "The Large Earth Collider will surely gain us priceless scientific insight by offering a brief glimpse of the universe at the moment of its destruction," Fermilab director Gordon Josephs said. "But because the Collider achieves this by hurdling Earth into another large celestial object, there are some who feel the risks associated with annihilating our world are too high. All I know for certain is that this rigorous debate will only end when we activate the VLEC, make the Earth collide with another planet, and obtain results through firsthand observation."

    "That's just good science," Josephs added.



    Saturday, December 13, 2008


    Vibrator Dependent

    Thursday, December 11, 2008

    From The Onion:

    Jerry Jones Probably Thinking About Signing Michael Vick

    DALLAS—Dallas head coach Wade Phillips speculated Wednesday that if recent history is any indicator, Jerry Jones is "almost certainly" considering the option of signing former Falcons quarterback and current incarcerated felon Michael Vick to the Cowboys. "Mike Vick is a guy who not only holds the same values as Jerry, but epitomizes what the Cowboys mean to the NFL," Phillips said. "Jerry has set up our program so that any thug, gangster, or hooligan can immediately make a contribution, not just to this team, but to this community. And while Jerry doesn't put much emphasis on criminal records and statistics, I know that he's always been impressed with what Vick has achieved." Jones was unavailable for comment as he was conducting contract negotiations with an expert in discreetly overriding ankle monitors.


    Tuesday, December 09, 2008

    When you're young
    And there's time
    To forget the past
    You don't think
    That you will
    But you do
    But I know that I don't have time enough
    And I'll never get over losing you

    Randy Newman
    "Losing You"
    Harps and Angels



    NFL Rankings - Week 14

    1. (2)Tennessee Titans (12-1)
      Back at #1

    2. (4)Carolina Panthers (10-3)
      Handled the very good Bucs

    3. (3)Pittsburgh Steelers (10-3)
      I thought we were in for overtime

    4. (1) New York Giants (11-2)
      A loss is a loss

    5. (6)Indianapolis Colts (9-4)
      I had given up on them a month ago

    6. (9)Baltimore Ravens (9-4)
      Good young QB, some running, and that D...

    7. (5)Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-4)
      Dropped one to a tough team

    8. (7)New York Jets (8-5)
      Two weeks ago folks were talking Super Bowl

    9. (8)Atlanta Falcons (8-5)
      A good team that might miss the playoffs

    10. (-)Miami Dolphins (8-5)
      The Vikings might be here if they hadn't struggled against the Lions

    Out of Top 10: (10)Dallas Cowboys (8-5)

    Teams on the Rise:Denver Broncos (8-5) Philadlephia Eagles (7-5-1)

    ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
    Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
    CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
    NFL Standings


    Saturday, December 06, 2008



    Tuesday, December 02, 2008

    If I'm burdened ain't no cryin' shame
    If I end up with nothin' I'm the one to blame
    Movin' 'round is the life I've claimed
    Change is the only thing that ever stays the same

    Sue Foley


    Monday, December 01, 2008



    Half of the NFL currently has a record of 7-5 or better, that's 16 teams. Six of those teams have a 7-5 record. Only ten teams make the playoffs, so six (or more) of those sixteen teams will end their seasons after sixteen games. The 7-5 teams are obviously the biggest risk of not making the playoffs. Let's look at each and their chances:

  • Arizona Cardinals (3-2) Over last five games
    Somebody from the NFC West has to make the playoffs. With a three game lead with four to play, the Cards are in barring an historic collapse.

  • Denver Broncos (3-2)
    They're in the same boat as the Cards but in the AFC West. Their difficulty is that the team chasing them, the Chargers, is quite capable of winning their next four, meaning that the Broncos can't afford many losses.

  • Miami Dolphins (4-1)
    They're on the outside looking in right now. A game back of the Jets for the division, a game back of the Colts and Ravens for a wild card. It's been a amazing season for them after finishing 1-15 last year

  • Minnesota Vikings (4-1)
    They're in a dogfight. Last night's win gives them a game on the Bears, two on the Packers. They only make the playoffs by winning their division in a strong NFC.

  • New England Patriots (2-3)
    See Dolphins above for where they stand. When Tom Brady went out in week 1, who even thought they'd be in playoff contention?

  • Washington Redskins (2-3)
    They can't win the division being four games back of the Giants who've beaten the 'Skins twice. There are three non-division leaders with better records. They were sort of a trendy pick for a while, but they now have very little chance of making the playoffs.

  • At least two of these teams make the playoffs. So somebody sitting at 8-4 or 9-3 right now won't. It's a crazy league.



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    The Bert Convey
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