Friday, June 30, 2006


Sue Foley Photo Friday

I prefer photos of Sue when she's playing guitar. This is insurance against claims that I'm just putting her picture on this blog because I really, really like looking at her. While that is completely true, she's probably my favorite contemporary blues guitarist, which is at least 35% of the reason that Sue gets a weekly feature at The Globex Corporation Newsletter. Just 35%? C'mon, just look at her!


Thursday, June 29, 2006


Interesting Link

Did a search on my name after getting off from work tonight (geez, I am so vain...) and I found this. There's another similar link on the sidebar, but this one is a little more about someone's impressions of the game, not just mere number (which is still cool, I don't care what you say). Who knew I was the Ale Man?

Oops, you can find out my real name by hitting the link. Now the whole word will know that I am, in reality, Chuck Champagne, Investment Banker from Rhode Island. Curses.....



A Stupid Song About a Cartoon

Wyle E. Coyote is my hero. Think about it. He's smarter than the Roadrunner, who really only has blazing speed on his side. He is able to come up with elaborate plans to catch and eat the Roadrunner, plans THAT SHOULD WORK, but somehow, even the laws of physics conspire against him.

It would be really easy for Wyle E. Coyote to just give up, to move into some desert community and eat garbage like coyotes are known to do, but he doesn't. He keeps at it. He never gives up.

We only see little seven minute vignettes of his life. I imagine the rest of his time is spent writing nasty letters to The ACME Corporation complaining about how that pair of rocket skates he bought didn't perform up to advertised specifications. Also I imagine he goes to England to find the grave of Sir Isaac Newton and lift his leg on it. This is all speculation, of course, but I think the Coyote and I have a lot in common. I've got a pretty good idea of what's in his head.

Then again, I haven't seen any new adventures from him recently. Maybe he did move to the outskirts of Vegas or maybe he got his by a truck. It can't be the last one as I've seen him get hit by a truck on numerous occasions. No, I imagine he's never given up chasing that annoying Roadrunner.

My guess is that the show became unprofitable which is why we don't see it any more. But Wyle E. still chases the Roadrunner because that's the only life he knows.



Rama-Lama Pointless Shit

From this week's email:

Hi ----,

We have a new marketing person, -------- ------. She will be taking over the marketing for WWE, TNA, UFC, King of the Cage, Pridefighting, nude events and Jerry Springer/anything from NBC Universal.

Can you please have her added to any relevant distribution lists and let your team know that she is responsible for the above PPV products?


That's pretty pointless. My favorite part of the email is that we have someone in charge of marketing nude events. I want that job not so much because I think it'd be cool, but because I could print up business cards:


Thanks, this was fun.


Wednesday, June 28, 2006


New Items for Sale!

Allow me a little cross-blog promotion. A couple of new items are currently available for sale at The BOJ News Service Vend-O-Teria! C'mon, somebody in your family has a birthday or anniversary coming up. The BOJ News Service Vend-O-Teria is full of great gift ideas for all but the terribly old members of your family!



BOJ Y'all, Just Chillin' on the MBW, Yo!

Yo, Yo, Yo - BOJ in the hizzle with the mother fuckin' MBW!!!!


I hear kids in Cheyenne talking like that. I heard them when I was teaching school too. I've got no trouble with creative self expression, I write a blog, that's my thing. Some people play music or paint or whatever. Cool. I'm all for that. People trying to be creative are generally somewhat influenced by their surroundings. What they do, who they are should give you some clue as to where they're from and their social standing.

Unless you're a high school student. I fail to believe that every kid I run into is a gangsta from the inner city. I cannot believe that any kid I run into in Cheyenne has been to the inner city with the possible exception of Denver and then, well, IT'S DENVER.

I understand that kids that age are imatative by nature. I did it, though I watched way too much Brady Bunch and said "groovy" way too much for a high school senior. Kids are picking this shit up from TV, movies and music.

I have no problem with hip hop and rap music. Any music done to highest level is fantastic. Hip hop and rap are (or at least were) a reflection of a social situation. A culture, a way of speach a dress came along with this music. It was originally a response to a particular environment. It's quite relevant in and of that environment. It loses most of it's relevance in Cheyenne, Wyoming.

It doesn't lose all of it's relevance. At it's best, hip hop and rap music, though it may be of the street is dealing in broader issues that cross regional and social lines. I saw a bit on CMT Crossroads the other night where the band Los Lonley Boys and Ronnie Milsap did a Milsap song as a straight blues. Milsap remarked that it was a story song and its situation crossed cultural lines. Rap and hip hop can do that as well.

But that's not what the kids want. They want songs about gangstas and gats. Yeah, don't forget to take your glock to school, things are tough on the street, yo. Ninety percent of the culture expressed in those songs has nothing to do with the average midwestern high school student.

We did a song that became known as Anysong in P957. The idea started out with JB playing a silly sort of loungy guitar part and singing Snoop Dogg's Gin 'n Juice. I added really cheesy harmonies to make the whole thing sound goofier. Then JB said you could do any song (hence the name) to that guitar part and would add other rap things. I started adding TV theme songs (I'm merely a product of my environment), but tried to make the theme to Giligan's Island sound as hardcore gangsta as possible.

It worked. Why? Who the hell knows what an audience will react to and why but here's what I think. First of all you had four white guys with acoustic instruments rapping, to me, that's freakin' funny. Second we made the hardcore rap sound cheesy and cheesy TV theme songs sound hardcore. Finally, it was sort of an audience participation thing, they knew the songs and joined in. Fun for the whol family!

I love the blues. It's something beautiful that came out of desparation, a refection of a particular situation. While originally that situation was an economic one, it became primarily about emotions, "woman done me wrong" kind of stuff. It moved off of the plantation to the big cities in the 40's and 50's. It became something a little different after that. The deep country blues of the american south still exists, but when it moved to Chicago, Detroit, St. Louis, etc, it became something different, the sound of the street. It was sort of the hip hop of it's day.

Blues travelled the world. It moved to the west coast where the blues has a distinctive, jazz-jump feel. It moved to the piedmont of the mid-atlantic states where it took on an almost country and wester feel. It found itself in England where white boys played it, changed the rhythmic emphasis, added ridiculously long guitar solos and created something entirely new.

Blues travelled the world and it was changed by everyone who touched it, incorporating it into something culturally significant to those who played it. A Londoner wouldn't write about "the Hawk," the cold wind in Chicago that came off of Lake Michigan. A Californian wouldn't write about picking cotton on the plantation. They all did their own things with the music, they added their own cultural references in their original music.

When I see kids imitating the hip hop culture, I don't see any of that. They make references that aren't relevant to their particular situation. It's simply spouting things they've heard in movies and music.

My defense? I've adopted the culture. When kids see a middle aged white guy wear his hat askew and in baggy pants and a fubu sweatshirt, hopefully they'll think it's monumentally uncool and decide the whole scene is uncool and abandon it.

It could happen.

B to the OJ

Tuesday, June 27, 2006


Money, It's a Hit
Don't Give Me That Do Goody Good Bullshit

Money has never meant a whole lot to me. That's probably a good thing since I work in television. Still I have bills that I have to pay every month, I have to buy food and gas for my car. It's always good to have a little extra money in case something unexpected comes up. I've got all of that plus I have some money leftover with which to buy beer.

So today I was writing out some bills and I checked my checking account balance on-line. Check it out for yourself, the account number is....... wait a second, I can't give you that! Anyway, I checked my balance and was astonished at how low it was after I'd paid all of my bills.

Then I thought about how pleased I would have been to have that same amount of money in the bank just six months ago. Believe me, with everything I've been through, today's checking account balance should't be something I'm worried about. As an added bonus, more money will appear in my account in a little less than two weeks. I still have to watch my money for the little while that I actually posess it, but financially I've really got no worries.

When I was in college I was talking to a high school kid who was lamenting how seldom he got laid. Since I was getting laid regularly at the time I told him that getting laid was overrated. Funny how it's "overrated" when you're getting it regularly. When you're not, it's seemingly the most important thing in the world.

I guess it's the same with money. When I made money faster than I could spend it, I didn't care about money. When I was living hand to mouth, barely making enough to get by, money was the most important thing in my life. I needed a certain amount every month to survive and I would lay awake at night fretting over it.

Laying awake at night actually led me to applying for the job I have now. I was desperate, applying for work in a field I swore I'd never get into again, for a company that had screwed me over in the past. It was simple desperation, something I never would have done if I'd had enough money to get through one more month.

The same amount of money I was fretting over when I looked at my checking balance today. An amount that will be replenished in about 10 days. It's all about perspective. I just have to change my way of looking at it. Thankfully I get to.


Monday, June 26, 2006


DHMO Update
The Stuff That Lives in DHMO

So you're not convinced that DHMO can kill you. I've presented the facts in a frank and open matter, I've tried to expose the government and business world cover-ups of the problem (maybe they're working together, the government and big business, chew on that one for a while). If you won't believe that DHMO kills thousands of people every year, believe this, even though you can't live in DHMO, some things can, and they'll kill you or at the very least cause you a huge amount of discomfort.

Various health effects and their causes are shown in this


Type of organism




Typhoid fever

severe vomiting, enlarged spleen, inflamed intestines; often
fatal if untreated



severe vomiting, dehydration; often fatal if untreated



rarely fatal except in infants without proper treatment



stomach pain, nausea, vomiting; rarely fatal



severe headache, loss of appetite, abdominal pain, jaundice,
enlarged liver; rarely fatal but may cause permanent liver damage



diarrhoea, headache, abdominal pain, chills, fever; if not treated
can cause liver abscess, bowel perforation and death



abdominal cramps, flatulence, belching, fatigue



pain, skin rash, anaemia, chronic fatigue, chronic general ill

Fun stuff. It's up to you, use DHMO and if you somehow survive the effects of the stuff, enjoy that case of diarrhea that you could get from stuff that can live in DHMO.

The choice is yours.



Saturday, June 24, 2006


From The Onion

I've actually tried three of these. Take a guess, I think you'll be pleasantly suprised.......




He's a Natural!

I Can't Believe I Got Away With This.......

Very good my young apprentice, you've performed well. At this rate you'll be ready for the "Pull My Finger" gag in mere months.


Friday, June 23, 2006


Sue Foley Photo Friday

Looks like she's having a good time!
I could go on and on, but words over here would just distract you from looking at this week's Ms. Foley photo offering. Instead of just looking, click THIS LINK to find out more about Sue and her most excellent music!


Thursday, June 22, 2006


My Three Pointless Shit & Sons


Chris Berman 1955 - 2001
I sometimes find it difficult to go on after the death of ESPN sportscaster, Chris Berman. His interesting take on the games he covered made Sportscenter so much more entertaining. During baseball season, Berman would spout Bermanisms, fun little nicknames for major leaguers that he would use during highlights on the program.

We've been without Bermanisms for a number of years now, many of the players listed below are no longer playing in the major leagues. While pointless (this is Thursday, after all), it's fun to look back at Berman's whacky take on the game, and be reminded of some fine ballplayers as well.


Shawn "Little" Abner

Rick "see ya later" Aguilera

Mike "Enough" Aldretti

or Mike "Mario" Aldrete

Doyle "Brandy" Alexander

Dana Allison "Wonderland"

Bill Almon "Joy"

or Bill "Toasted" Almon

Roberto "Remember The" Alomar

Sandy "Remember the other" Alomar Jr.

Brady "Bunch" Anderson

Joaquin "the dog" Andujar

Tony "Brothers In" Armas

Don "Guns of" August


Scott "Hay" Bailes

Mark "Beetle" Bailey

Scott "Tallulah" Bankhead

Floyd "Up and Down the" Bannister

Marty "Grin and" Barrett

Kevin "Small Mouth" Bass

Randy "Large Mouth" Bass

Billy "Lima" Beane

George "Taco" Bell

or George "Liberty" Bell

Bruce "Eggs" Benedict

Andy "Merchant of Venice" Bends

Todd "Mercedes" Benzinger

Damon "Blue" Berryhill

Karl "these are the" Best "of times"

Bud "paint it" Black

Lance "You sank my" Blankenship

Bert "Be home" Blyleven

Bruce Bochte "Ball"

Randy Bockus "is willing"

Wade "Cranberry" Boggs

Barry "U.S." Bonds

Pat "North of the" Borders

Daryl "Please come home to" Boston

Sid "Coffee and" Bream

Greg "Crocodile" Brock

Hubie "Babbling" Brooks

Bob "Bulldog" Bower

Britt "Third Degree" Burns

Randy "Burning" Bush

Brett "Tara" Butler


Greg "life is a" Caderet

Ivan "Bubbling" Calderon

Sylvester "When the swallows return to" Campusano

John "Candyman" Candeleria

Tom "Cotton" Candiotti

Jose "can you see" Canseco

Don "roses" Carman

Mark Carreon "my wayward son"

Ron Cey "Hey"

or Ron "born in the US" Cey

Steve "Kentucky fried" Chitren

Will "The Natural" Clark

Mark "Crystal" Clear

David "Sili-" Cone

Ed "Chick" Correa

Henry "Ava-" Cotto

Jose "Won't you take me on a sea" Cruz

Todd "Carribean" Cruz


Kal "Jack" Daniels

Ron "Oh My" Darling

Eric "The Red" Davis

Glenn "Mr. Outside" Davis

Jody Davis "Eyes"

"Eye of the" Storm Davis

Bill "Hello" Dawley

Jeff Dedmon "Don't wear plaid"

Rob "Bomba" Deer

or Rob "Rein" Deer

Jim "Two sillouhettes on" DeShaies

Bo "Beunos" Diaz

Bill "Doran" Doran

Rich "280z" Dotson

Brian "Number 10" Downing "Street"

Kelly "Churchill" Downs

Curt "Devil with the blue" Dressendorfer

Dan "Salad" Driesen

Mike "Well" Dunne

Leon "Bull" Durham

Jim "Washer and" Dwyer


Lee Elia "Kuriakin"

Dave "Right" Engle


Steve "A bridge too" Farr

"El" Sid Fernandez

Cecil "Is No" Fielder

Curt "Model-T" Ford

Bob "Air" Forsch

John "Generalissimo Franscisco" Franco

"Starvin'" Marvin Freeman

Jim "Bela" Fergosi

Rollie "Chicken" Fingers


Oscar "six-to-five" Gamble

Greg Gagne "with a spoon"

Andres "The Giant" Galarraga

Mike "Leggo" Gallego

Wes "Kenny the" Gardner

Dan "Man from" Gladden

Tom "Heard it through the" Glavine

Dwight "Johnny Be" Gooden

Mark "Amazing" Grace

Mark "Federal" Grant

Johnny "Pass the" Grubb

"Fettucini" Alfredo Griffin

Jose "Mother" Guzman

Tony Gwynn "and bear it"


Moose "Antlers" Haas

Von "Purple" Hayes

Jeff Hamilton "Joe Frank and Reynolds"

Mike Heath "Bar"

Danny "Dung" Heep

or Danny "Uriah" Heep

Dave "Harry and the" Henderson

Tommy "Ben" Herr

Jay "Thurston B." Howell

LaMarr "Where does it" Hoyt

Kent "Buy a vowel" Hrbek

Glenn "Mother" Hubbard

Charles "Moscow on the" Hudson

Tom "Ex-" Hume

Bruce "Patty" Hurst


Garth "Clockwork" Iorg


Bo "Diddley" Jackson

Chris "Bartles &" James

Dion James "and the Belmonts"

Stan "You can" Javier "way"

Gregg "The Hammer" Jeffries

Jimmy "Handyman" Jones

Wally "Absorbine" Joyner


Jimmy "Francis Scott" Key

Dana "Field Goal" Kiecker

Eric "Burger" King

Bob "Yom" Kipper

Ron "Ma and Pa" Kittle

Joe "Wilhelm" Klink

Ray "I dub thee" Knight

Chuck "New Kids On" Knoblauch

or Chuck "Chip off the ol'" Knoblauch

John "I am not a" Kruk


Mike "Izod" LaCoss

Mike Laga "beer"

Steve "Great" Lake

Dennis "Fluorescent" Lamp

Dave "Don't" LaPoint

Tim "Praise the" Laudner

Vance "Common" Law

Al "Cigarette" Leiter

Chet "Bitter" Lemon

Jeff "Sugar Ray" Leonard

Jose Lind "on me"

John "Tonight, let it be" Lowenstein

Ed "Merrill" Lynch

Steve Lyons "and tigers and bears, oh my"


Shane "Connie" Mack

Greg "Appa" Maddux

Bill Madlock "D.A."

Dave "Mary" Magadan

Rick "Junk" Mahler

Candy "Man" Maldanado

Kirt "What was that" Manwaring

Mike Mason "jar"

Don "Welcome Home" Mattingly

Oddibe "Young Again" McDowell

"Me and" Willie McGee

Fred "Crime Dog" McGriff

Mark "Eve of Destruction" McGwire

Bob Melvin "and the Blue Notes"

Jim "Love me two times" Morrison

or Jim "people are strange" Morrison

John "Holy" Moses

Eddie "eat, drink and be" Murray


Tim "Golden" Naehring

Gene "Full" Nelson

Al "Paul" Newman

or Al "-fred E." Newman

Paul "Buenos" Noce

Matt "No" Nokes


Jim "Hanky" Pankovits

Mark "trans-" Parent

Dave "Parallel" Parker

Tony "Jala-" Pena

Melido "Shuffle" Perez

Pasquel "roadmap" Perez

Ken "Goodbye, Mr. " Phelps

Eric "Ker-" Plunk

Jim "Hound dog" Presley

Joe "Actual Retail" Price

Kirby "Union Gap" Puckett


Tim "Purple" Raines

or Tim "Torrential" Raines

Johnny "Manta" Ray

Randy "Ever" Ready

or Randy "Rough and" Ready

Gary Redus "a bedtime story"

Jerry "Rolls" Reuss

Craig Reynolds "wrap"

Jim "Pork Fried" Rice

Jose "Blame it On" Rijo

Cookie "Days of wine and" Rojas

Bruce "2 minutes for" Ruffin


Mark "Tossed" Salas

Juan "play it again" Samuel

Ryne "Carl" Sandberg

Rafael "Evil Ways" Santana

Benito "El Ducce" Santiago

Steve "Alto/Tenor" Sax

Mike "Pre-" Schooler

Bill "Beethoven" Schroeder

Mike "Nova" Scoscia

Rick "Really big" Schu

Mike "Great" Scott

Tom "Leave it to" Seaver

Bob "Ice Station" Sebra

Kevin "Alka" Seitzer

Larry "Satin" Sheets

Eric "Win, place and" Show

Ruben "High" Sierra

Don "On-" Slaught

Darryl "Rhubarb" Strawberry

or Darryl Strawberry "shortcake"

or Darryl Strawberry "Fields Forever"

Andy "Dick" Van Slyke

John "Irish Eyes are" Smiley

Franklin "Ticket" Stubbs

Bruce "3-piece" Sutter


Frank Tanana "daiquiri"

Andres "Doubting" Thomas

Fred Toliver "Twist"

Alan "Have Gun will" Trammel

Manny "Kingston" Trillo

Steve "Rainbow" Trout

John "House of" Tudor


Jose "Game-winning" Uribe


Bobby "Be My" Valentine

Dave "Rudy" Valle

or Dave "Death" Valley

Frank "101 Strings" Viola

Ozzie "like a" Virgil


Tim "Eli" Wallach

Gary "Hospital" Ward

Bob "Intentional" Walk

Mitch "Noah" Webster

Walt "Three blind" Weiss

Bob "Ebony Eye" Welch

Glenn "Surfin' U.S.A." Wilson

Todd "We are the" Worrell

Butch "Oil and" Wynegar


Rich "Not ready" Yett


Wednesday, June 21, 2006


What Happened to Pro Wrestling?

ECW Wrestler, Spike Dudley about to get messed up!
I have a love/hate relationship with professional wrestling. One of my prize possesions is an ECW Extreme Wrestling T-Shirt given to me by Jenny Lamb when we were both working at USSB. Sadly neithher USSB or ECW exist any more. Yes, there is an ECW, they just debuted a show on SciFi Channel last week (SciFi? What the HELL is up with that?) but it's not really ECW after they were purchased by WWF who then changed their name to WWE, I guess since people were confusing the aims of the World Wildlife Fund and the World Wresling Federation.

Anyway, I started watching pro wrestling when I was in first grade. My dad was overseas and we were living in my mom's hometown. On Sundays, after church, my sister and I would watch All-Star Wrestling (...with wrestlers from around the globe...) on TV. This was classic early 70's wrestling with the likes of Vern and Greg Gagne, Jesse Venutra, Rick Flair and my favorite, Chief Wahoo McDaniel. Mom got kind of sick of my sister and I yelling so much about wrestling every week that she told us that it was fake.

I was crushed! How could this be? Yet, even at eight years old, it all made sense. These guys were supposedly taking huge ammounts of punishment in the ring but the good guy could always overcome and win in the end. It was the story lines that really clinched it. Good vs. Evil. Good always prevailed unless Evil cheated and even then all was eventually set right in the rematch.

That same formula applied into the 80's when WWF became a phenomenon. Hulk Hogan became a superstar, not just of wrestling but of pop culture in general. There was a Saturday Morning cartoon show in which the story lines weren't any less complex than the story lines played out at every WWF event. Inane to be sure, but damn it, it was clearly defined Good vs. clearly defined Evil and Good won out more times than not.

Then something happened. Hulk Hogan turned bad. He became "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan. Aside here, Hogan began his wrestling career under the name Terry Hogan, taking the nickname "Hulk" because of his enormity. When he turned evil and added a nickname, he added it before a pre-existing nickname. What the fuck is up with that? "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan? Sometimes people refer to me (really, they do) as "Blind" Orange Julius. If I required people to refer to me a "Cowboy" Blind Orange Julius (I do live in Cheyenne, Wyoming for Christ's sake....) someone would come to lock me up. OK, nobody would give a shit, but it would just be a really stupid thing for me to do.

Anyway, Hulk Hogan turned evil, but it was still Good vs. Evil. Sometime after that, though, the whole Good and Evil thing went away. "Good" guys were cheating to win matches every bit as much as "Bad" guys. Obviously it's not a real athletic contest, but the flashy colors of professional wrestling really appeals to 6 year olds, who are learning that cheating is OK, that winning is the only important thing.

I'm sure it wasn't pro wrestling's intent, but they used to be these little, poorly written and acted morality plays in which good always prevailed and if it didn't there was a damn good reason. We've got none of that any more. It's just a bunch of 'roided up behemonths shouting profanities at each other and beating each other with metal chairs while their skanky, scantily clad slutty bitch managers (or whatever the hell they're supposed to be) give us something else to look at when we get bored with the wrestling.

But my biggest beef with professional wrestling is the rules. When I started watching wrestling, there were rules. You couldn't hit someone with a closed fist, wrestler could be counted out of the ring, only one man from each team was allowed in the ring in a tag team match. OK, they were just pretending that there were rules, but in wrestling today they don't even bother to pretend. Other wrestlers come into the ring and interfere and just one guy from each tag team in the ring? Forget about it! It's now four guys just wailing on each other, biting scratching, punching, it's all good baby.

So why do I get worked up about this? In a way I don't, but I find it pretty entertaining. It's my guilty pleasure. I just got back from the theater. I saw Nacho Libre. I watched it because it had Jack Black in it (of THE D!!!!), but mostly because it was about wrestling. I enjoy wrestling. I get to watch it at work. Last week I showed up to work in my ECW t-shirt and my Jeoprardy! cap, sort of my own "duality of man" statement.

I know that wrestling is fake, and have learned to forgive my mother for letting the cat out of the bag (the Chief Wahoo McDaniel autograph that she got for me helped too). I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions on stuff, I can tell when stuff is complete bullshit

This crap is written at a level so it can be enjoyed by grade school kids. That's where I have a problem. Kids can't tell bullshit from the real deal. Kids see their favorite wrestler cheat without consequences and start to think that cheating is acceptable. Start to believe that cheating is OK as long as you don't get caught and come up with better, less obvious ways of cheating.

But, man do I love pro wrestling. I can't help myself. I could spend the next 1000 words discussing the brilliance of Andy Kaufman's wrestling stunts, how he got pro wrestling better than pro wrestling promoters did. I saw Jerry "the King" Lawler in a match against ECW's Taz last week and I couldn't keep from smiling. Lawler got it, was in on it with Kaufman. And even people who knew Andy Kaufman was a complete fraud wanted to believe that Lawler pile-drived (pile-drove?) Kaufman at that match in Memphis. Brilliant! They got it, evil loudmouthed Hollywood boy was punished by noble wrestler. Good defeated Evil on the grandest of stages. People still talk about that shit. Some people still believe it was all real, even after Lawler has publicly stated that it was all a put on.

People wanted to belive it was real, so they did.

Wrestling used to be brilliant. What the hell happened?

"Cowboy" BOJ

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


Crazy Freakin' Dreams

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a positive day post about my favorite cooking show, Good Eats. Host Alton Brown doesn't so much do a cooking show as a show about food science. Chock full of info and presented in a very entertaining way.

While working on an upcoming Food TV series about eating on the road, Alton was involved in a car accident and broke his collar bone. He's been enough of a good sport to provide prictures of himself at the crash site on his website, and I've reposted one here. Best of luck, AB, and I wish you a speedy recovery.

Monday's DHMO post was, in a way, inspired by Alton Brown. I'd had a dream about Alton Brown the previous night in which, in Good Eats style he explained centrifugal uranium enrichment using a salad spinner. Very cool, and I'd actually like to see him do that on his show some time.

I've actually had a lot of really crazy dreams lately, generally having something to do with television. I had a dream that included a commerical for an upcoming Willy Grigg show. I think the show was at Jones Beach in New York, at least the commercial in my dream looked a lot like a Jones Beach TV commercial.

I don't know what any of this means, but it's generally been the most fun I've had in bed without actually Waltzing with the Kaiser.

What's that, 18?



Positive about Steve James

Check out Steve James sometime.
Another musician I really like is Steve James. Steve is a very traditional country style blues acoustic guitarist. Steve is very traditional musically and his covers of material by the likes of Leadbelly are amazing. He handles that material with the respect it deserves, not trying to update it, not trying to make it more hip, he performs it as it is. In a way, Steve James seems to be plucked right out of the 1920's or 30's.

Steve is one of my favorite songwriters in his own right, though. His songs are traditional in their sound, and often in their subject matter. Like any blues songwriter a lot of his songs are about relationships ("The blues started when Adam met Eve"), but it doesn't stop there. In Last Good Car he laments that automobiles aren't what they used to be, that they have a funny little voice that says "put your seatbelt on." I don't think Robert Johnson ever wrote a song quite like that, though he seemed to really like his Terraplane.

Talaco Girl is a beautiful slice of life song about the changes in a small town, "coin laundry got a video game and fire took the grocery store." The Change is an extremely odd song that includes advice given by "celery (that had been) in that mayonaise jar so long that it had discorporated on a molecular level and reincorporated with an intelligence of it's own....." Not exactly standard in your classic country blues song.

He writes the relationship song really well, and like any blues songwriter it is his bread and butter. Grain Alcohol is the only Steve James composition that I've ever attempted to play. It's one of his songs that easy enough for me to play and, frankly, it rings really true with me:

Grain Alcohol

The glass is on the table
The whiskey's in the glass
My fist through the sheet rock
You picture in the trash
My mind in the gutter
My pride before a fall
Adrift on a river of grain alcohol

I don't know where you are tonight
But I bet you're not alone
Don't you worry about me I've got
Freinds of my own
Jim Beam, Johnnie Walker
And four girls named Rose
They don't even care
If I sleep in my clothes

Grain alcohol
That's all I need
Built for comfort not for speed
I can pick up the pieces
Watch the pieces fall
I live on livin' on
Grain alcohol

They tell me I'll be gettin'
Over you before long
That I'll live again and love again
But, baby, they're wrong
They say the darkest hour
Is just before the light
I know that for certain
I'm there every night

Not unique, I know. Every guy who's written music has written a song like this. But every guy who's ever heard a song like this swears he knows who it was written about. I'm certain Steve wrote it about an old girlfriend of mine.

While it's probably not my favorite Steve James song, the song I've been thinking about most recently is Banker's Blues. I've toyed with the idea of trying to play it and maybe add an additional verse about Kenneth Lay of Enron fame. I'd have to change it so dramatically to be able to play it with my fat, stupid fingers that I'm not sure I'll ever do it. I really like it the way he does it and changing it to fit my inferior guitar skills would be a crime. The first verse of Banker's Blues sets the tone:

I saw your face on the news today
I seen it there before
And if I'm a judge of character
I'll see it there some more
You got rich off of worthless real estate
And a broke down oil well
But you got friends in the government
And the tax man pays your bills

We see guys like this on the news every day. They bilk the government, investors and shareholders out of millions of dollars. They're criminals, plain and simple. Corporate crime simply isn't treated like other types of crime in this count. ry for some reason:

You and some other criminal
Both stood before the bar
Your fraud it was for millions
He'd stolen a VCR
You pulled probated sentence
And a hundred thousand fine
They sent him back to Huntsville
Where he's serving five to nine

It's age old, the rich don't serve the same penalties. While blues generally tends to be relationship based rather than socially based, this is a recurring theme in blues songs, particularly early blues. Steve James has taken this old theme and updated it. It's still traditional, it still sounds like blues from the 30's, but it's written about a contemporary issue. That, I think, is Steve's strength as a songwriter.

So he's a great songwriter, but I also love his fingerpicking guitar style. He's great as a solo, he also duets with a guitarist named Del Rey and many of his albums feature songs with Steve in an ensemble setting. Always acoustic, but he reminds me how powerful music can be even if it isn't plugged in.


Monday, June 19, 2006


DHMO Update - Heavy DHMO

Bohr model of a Deuterium atom. Cool, huh?
It's an established fact the US government has for years been conducting experiments to create weapons that operate on DHMO. Science can't be unlearned, however, once it's out of the bag, other nation-states will follow suit, and currently several other countries are developing weapons systems to operate on DHMO.

Recently, however, the country of Iran has been working on it's own nuclear program. A prime component of this research? DHMO, of course. Not your garden variety DHMO, but DHMO of the heavy type. Just what does this mean> Well, some or all of the hydrogen atoms in dihydrogen monoxide contain a neutron, making it "heavier" than normal atoms of hydrogen. This isotope of hydrogen is known as Deuterium. DHMO containing Deuterium is heavier than normal DHMO and is used to refine weapons grade nuclear fuel. The technology to make DHMO heavier than normal came from the United States and to some degree Germany during the second world war.

We let the cat out of the bag. The science of heavy DHMO can't be unlearned. That other countries are using this technology can't be a suprise to us.

If there were a worldwide ban on DHMO, Iran's nuclear program would be stopped in its tracks. Sure, we would have to monitor the Iranians to make sure they didn't have any DHMO with which to continue their nuclear program, but we would be well on our way to a safer world.

Banning DHMO would also keep the world's population in check. But that's a topic for another time.


OK, not my best topic, I'll agree, but that Deuterium diagram is really kick-ass, isn't it?


Friday, June 16, 2006


More Ben Folds Lyrics

Sometimes I think I'd like to meet Ben Folds. I like his quirky way of dealing with issues in his life. On the other hand, some of the quirky ways he deals with things make him seem like he's a bit of an asshole. That's OK, I think that's an admirable quality, I'm a bit of an asshole myself.

When Ben Folds Five broke up there was a publishing deal that required Ben to write 4.6 more songs. 4.6? My only guess is that each member of the band (three, not five) was responsible for 4.6 songs, a total of 14.

Ben dutifully sat down and banged out 4.6 songs. I'm not sure how he dealt with a fraction of a song, then again, I've written about one third of Stoneage Man in a Polymer World so I can sort of see it.

Apparently he had to come back from Australia where he now lives to finish this. I've heard he lived up to his obligation. The only song I've heard from this writing session is the first, One Down which was on Ben's solo live album, Ben Folds Live.

One Down

I woke up and I dove to work
On the wrong side of the road
And what the hell would I do
I must admit I didn't know
And Andrew came along y'all
To add a couple of lines or so
I got one I finished yesterday
And I got three point six to go

One down and three point six tomorrow
And I'm outta here
One down and three point six tomorrow
And I'm out of here

People tell me Ben just make up junk
And turn it in
But I never was alright
With turning in a bunch of shit
I don't like wasting time
On music that won't make me proud
But now I found a reason
To sit right down and shit some out

One down and three point six tomorrow
And I'm outta here
One down and three point six tomorrow
And I'm out of here

I love your more than
Any man has loved before
I love you more than
All the stars up in the sky
I think that we should settle down
And live happily forever.....
What do you think of that?

I'm really not complaining
I realize it's just a job
And I hate hearing bellyaching rockstars
Whine and sob
'Cuz I could be busin' tables
I could well be punping gas
But I get paid much finer
For playin' piano and kissin' ass
This is one I wrote just an hour ago
And three point six at last

One down and three point six tomorrow
And I'm outta here
One down and three point six tomorrow
And I'm out of here

One down and three point six
One down and three point six tomorrow
And I'm out

I've gotta try to be that creative with my bitching. We'll see next Wednesday.



Sue Foley Photo Friday

She doesn't just look good holding a guitar
Something to help cheer me up on a rainy Friday morning in Cheyenne. This will do nicely. Now If I can just play the mp3 for Sue's Lightnin' Boogie (actually an Earl Hooker instrumental) my day will undoubtedly work out just fine......


Thursday, June 15, 2006


Locomotive Pointless Shit

2005-2006 College Football Bowl Results
Damn! I Love Corporate America!!!!

New Orleans Underwater & Parts of it On Fire Bowl

Southern Miss 31
Arkansas State 19

Toledo 45

Pioneer PureVision Las Vegas Bowl
Cal 35
BYU 28

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
Navy 51
Colorado State 30

Fort Worth Bowl
Kansas 42
Houston 13

Sheraton Hawaii Bowl
Nevada 49
UCF 48 (OT)

Motor City Bowl
Memphis 38
Akron 31

Champs Sports Bowl
Clemson 19
Colorado 10

Insight Bowl
Arizona State 45
Rutgers 40

MPC Computers Bowl
Boston College 27
Boise State 21

Bowl Name for Sale Bowl
Nebraska 32
Michigan 28

Emerald Bowl
Utah 38
Georgia Tech 10

Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
Oklahoma 17
Oregon 14

Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
Virginia 34
Minnesota 31

Vitalis Sun Bowl
Northwestern 38

Independence Bowl
Missouri 38
South Carolina 31

Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl
LSU 40
Miami 3

Enron Chapter 11 Bowl
NC State 14
South Florida 0

AutoZone Liberty Bowl
Tulsa 31
Fresno State 24 Houston Bowl
TCU 27
Iowa State 24

AT&T Cotton Bowl
Alabama 13
Texas Tech 10

Outback Bowl
Florida 31
Iowa 24

Capital One 0% Financing for the First 60 Days Bowl
Wisconsin 24
Auburn 10

Tostitos Siesta Sleepy Time Nap Bowl
Ohio State zzzzzzz
Notre Dame zzzzzzz

Nokia Sugar Bowl
West Virginia 38
Georgia 35

FedEx Orange Bowl
Penn State 26
Florida State 23 (3 OT)

The Rose Bowl Game Presented by Citi
Texas 41
USC 38

Look for the Globex Corporation presents the BOJ News Service Bowl next year!


Wednesday, June 14, 2006


Jacob - The Head of AOL

AOL, what a
bunch of freakin'
So I grabbed a beer and sat down to watch game 3 of the NBA Finals last night. To this point, the Heat's Berserk-a-Dirk defense hasn't done much to stop the big, Hasselhoff loving German, but this game was in Miami and things can work out differently for a team at home.

The phone rang during the pregame show and I picked it up and said 'hello.' No one was there. I waited a couple of seconds and nobody came on the line. I checked the caller ID and found that the call was from a toll free number, 1-800-827-6364. I called the number and found out that it was AOL.

I forgot about the NBA Finals, this could be a whole lot more fun than any mere basketball game. After working my way through their labrynthine (I can't possibly have spelled that correctly) automated phone service and a 20 minute wait, I was finally connected to a 'consultant.' I asked what was up and why AOL wanted to talk to me. The consultant wanted my account number. I do not now, nor have I ever had an AOL account. I informed the consultant of that fact and demanded that he tell me why AOL had contacted me as I was very eager to find out what this was all about. The consultant could not help me so I asked to speak to his supervisor.

Jacob came on the line a few minutes later. I told Jacob that I needed to know why AOL had contacted me. He told me that he was unable to get that information for me, but after some hemming and hawing he told me he'd find out and call me back. I told him that he could find out while he was on the line with me, see, Jacob was trying to get rid of me, he had no intention of calling me back.

I asked Jacob how he could not give me the information I requested one second and the next second inform me that he'd get the information and call me back. I told Jacob he was not telling me the truth and requested to speak to his supervisor.

Jacob informed me that I couldn't speak to his supervisor. I asked how I could get in touch with his supervisor. At this point thing became a little surreal. Jacob informed me that he didn't have a supervisor. When I asked Jacob is he were the head of AOL, he informed me that I was correct.

Cool! I'm talking to the head of AOL! He works in the call center on Tuesday nights! What a progressive company. Being a busy man, controlling such a large corporation and what not, Jacob was through talking to me and hung up on me.


That don't fly with BOJ, gentle readers, so I immediately called back. After all of the bullshit required to talk to an actual person, I again reached a consultant. We went through the whole bullshit about my account number again, but I cut him short and asked to speak to Jacob. Jacob was not avaliable, this I understand as Jacob was probably off making earth shattering decisions as he is, as we know now, the head of AOL. With Jacob unavaliable, I asked to speak with another supervisor. The consultant put me on hold coming back a few seconds later and informing me that his supervisor wouldn't come over. Not couldn't come over, he was avaliable, he simply chose not to talk to me. When I inquired as to what the fuck was up with that, the consultant hung up on me.


What the hell has happened to customer service in this country? If I really expected anything to happen in this pointless I'd have been really pissed off. I called back one more time finally getting to yet another consultant. I guess. Probably, I mean I just left the phone off the hook after I got on hold. Infintile I know, but at least I got to watch the rest of the game.

So this morning I called 1-800-827-6364 yet again. This time I talked to a very friendly guy named Harley. Harley put me on their "Do Not Call" list but what I really wanted was to talk to someone in charge of call centers. Harley gave me an address that I could send a letter to. When I inquired about a name of who I should address this compalaint to, I was informed that if I put a name on it, it would never get to the person it needed to get to. What kind of bizzaro-fucking-universe does AOL exist in? The head of the company answers phones on Tuesday evenings and addressed mail doesn't get to who it's addressed to. Still, Harley was much more helpful than the 3 people I'd talked to up to this point. Definitely 'employee of the month' as far as I'm concerened.

After a little research, I found a phone number for AOL's corporate offices in Dulles, VA. Since I don't pay any addtional charges for long distance, I gave a call and eventually got ahold of a woman named Ginger. Since Harley will be 'employee of the month' for June, Ginger will have to wait until July. She was unbelievably helpful. I told her the whole story of what had happened and she requested that I make a complaint, particularly about Jacob. We think we've narrowed down what call center he works in and since we know about what time all of this happend, we know what shift he works on. And here's a real shocker, it turns out that Jacob isn't actually the head of AOL and he does have a superior or two withing their corporate structure. So he lied to me about getting the information I requested and he lied about his position within the company. I'm shocked, shocked I tell you about what happened here.

I any case, I requested that AOL get back in touch with me so that I know how this is all resolved. If they do not in a day or two, I will contact Ginger as I have her phone number and email address.

This will get taken care of. AOL doesn't realize who they're dealing with here. I'm a guy who regularly sits down at a computer and just bangs away for an hour or more, posting minutiae about his pathetic life. I gots the time, baby. I gots the time to hound people until I get the answers I need.

Not that it will do any good. AOL will continue to treat other people like shit on the phone. They won't do it to me anymore, but they could do it to you. Yeah, it's easy to just hang up on these annoying calls and just let it pass. If a telemarketer calls you for any reason they want you to do one of two things. They want you to purchase the goods or services they are offering, failing that, they want you to hang up immediately so they can go on to the next person.

Don't do it. Don't hang up, particularly if you don't have anything better to do at the moment. Waste as much of their time as possible. Ask questions, hell actually act interested. Ask them if they can hold on for a second, go to the bathroom, come back and ask if their still there. My personal record is keeping a telemarketer on the phone for 28 minutes (estimated) then at the end telling them I was deiliberately wasting their time.

I know it didn't do any good in the long run, but while they were talking to me, they didn't bother about 20 other people. I'm taking one for the team.


Tuesday, June 13, 2006


Not So Random Ben Folds Lyric

From the "Ben Folds writing lyrics that are just a little too close to my personal life" department:

The sun's comin' up
She's pullin' the blankets over
Curled in a ball
Like she's hiding from me and

That's when I know
She's gonna be pissed when she wakes up
For terrible things I did to her
In her dreams


Songs For Silverman

It's like he has a crystal ball and can see into those magical 1046 days.....



A Brief Positive Tuesday
Then I'm Spending the Rest of the Day Outside

It's 10:30 in th morning as I write this. It's already 80 degrees and after a couple of somewhat windy days and a little bit of severe weather at night, it's calm a beautiful outside. I assure you I won't be at the computer for long today. I live in Cheyenne, Wyoming and there are a limited number of days like this in any given year. I have, we all have, a limited number of days like this left in our lives and to waste one of them would be a crime.

I'm doing three loads of laundry. There's a washer and dryer inthe basement and with just three of us living in the building, it's not too difficult to get a lot of laundry on any given day. Tim from work has the same days off as me and we usually discuss who's going to do laundry so we're not stepping on each other. The woman who lives between us works more traditional hours and does her laundry at night when Tim and I are at work.

The washer and dryer are coin operated and I could probably save money and time by going to a laundromat, but I'll glady pay for covenience. There's a clothesline in the back yard and last week I bought some clothes pins and hung one of my loads. This week I'm just gonna hang everything. Since the dryer doesn't work real well anyway, I'm probably saving 4 bucks by doing a little bit of the work myself. I'll pay for convenience, but I don't mind doing a little work myself either. Plus my clothes smell so much better when they've hung on the line. Cheyenne is a refinery town, however so caution must be used or my clothes could end up smelling like sulfur and methane. Not the most pleasant smell, but since I live upwind from the refinery it's seldom a problem. Work is a problem sometimes, as I often leave work smelling like a coal miner.

Once I get the laundry done I may head out to the park to play a little guitar. You know, shock the local youngsters with explicit lyrics. Maybe I'll take a little bike ride. It's just to nice of a day to sit here writing this crap anymore.


Monday, June 12, 2006


Don't Drop Hydroxyl Acid

Perhaps I was a little hard on That One Guy (I hope nobody figures out exactly who I'm talking about....) last week with my DHMO Case Study. I did not mean to single out a single person as being a DHMO user, I simply meant to show how good people can get caught up in their addiction to this insidious chemical compound and how the system tends to look the other way, not only regarding the users, but the providers as well.

While I do not have the actual numbers in front of me, I can say, with confidence, that a signifcant percentage of US residents use DHMO every day. Addicted? I don't know, but I know that some people just can't go on without their daily DHMO "fix." I've seen smokers go a day or more without a cigarette. Tough? You bet! The average DHMO user will show significant health effects when deprived of the substance after one day, death usually occurring after three days of deprivation.

The sad part about DHMO addiction is that it wasn't the choice of most abusers. It's everywhere, it's in nearly all food products you buy. I looked on the ingridents on a bottle of "pure" spring water at the mini mart last night. There was DHMO prominently displayed in the ingredients.

And yet the government does nothing. They publicly state that DHMO isn't the problem. The goverment has painstakingly tried to reduce impurities in DHMO around the country. Their position seems to be "DHMO isn't the problem, unclean DHMO is the problem." Tell that to the thousands of people who die every year from DHMO inhilation. Even the cleanest, purest DHMO is a proven killer.

Rise up people! Let those who represent you at every level of government know that the insanity has to stop! We need to change the laws, to outlaw DHMO in the food industry.

And be an informed consumer. Look at the ingredients of every food product you buy. If it contains DHMO, put it back. Not only will you prevent an unhealthy addiction, but I predict you'll save lots and lots of money on your next grocery bill.

And kids, I can't stress this enough:

Don't drop Hydroxyl Acid



Saturday, June 10, 2006


Trojan Ball Buster

I'm not going to tell you what I was doing on the Trojan Condoms website, maybe it was some hamless research, maybe it was getting images for BOJ News Service, maybe it was for something in my personal life, the truth is you just don't need to know.

While I didn't find exactly what I was looking for, I did find a really cool game called Trojan Ball Buster which has, for some reason become an all consming passion this weekend.

A lot of corporate websites have been adding games for surfers to play. I'm not really sure of the logic behind this, Trojan Ball Buster hasn't really given me any insigt into the company's fine line of products like Trojan Warm Sensations - with a heating lubricant activated by body moisture or Trojan Magnum - larger than standard latex condoms for extra comfort & tapered at the base for a secure fit.

Anyway, if you're in the mood to bust some balls, check out Trojan Ball Buster. Think Tetris with condoms, try to line up three like colored condoms (sometimes four..)in a straight line to make them pop. OK, I don't know why Trojan would have a game on their website that featured popping condoms, but they have so enjoy. It's the best time you'll ever have with a busted condom.....


Friday, June 09, 2006


Sue Foley Photo Friday

This is just nice.
Another nice Black and White photo of Sue, plus I really like that guitar. I don't know if it's custom or not. It fits her nicely though.


Thursday, June 08, 2006


Mavericks To Incorporate Machetes Into Hack-A-Shaq Defense

Who says there's no 'D' in the NBA?
The Onion has what is easily the most twisted sports coverage on the net today. I always like them for there weird news stories, but they've really seemed to raise the bar since adding sports. Their sports page is always filled with gems like the following:

"The X's and O's of it are pretty simple," Johnson said, drawing up the play on his dry-erase board. "Once Dwayne Wade passes the ball to Shaq down low, [point guard] Jason [Terry] will drop down to double-team him and chop the backs of Shaq's legs, especially the femoral artery and the Achilles tendon, with his lighter machete. Dirk [Nowitzki], while he's doing that, you will curl off your man and go for O'Neal's collarbones with an overhand chopping motion of your Latin machete. By the third quarter, Shaq will have lost a significant amount of blood, and that's when Keith [Van Horn] and [Josh] Howard will be stabbing at O'Neal's kidneys and the sensitive insides of his elbows with their respective weapons—Van Horn with his Bolo Machete and Josh with his Double-Edge Machete. Meanwhile, [center] DeSagana [Diop], who I understand brought his own Panga Machete from home, will be carving O'Neal's ribs."

The Heat plan to retaliate with a unspecified defensive strategy against Mavericks' star Dirk Nowitzki that they're refering to as "Berserk-a-Dirk."




In A Godda da Pointless Shit


Dec. 29, 2005 Oklahoma 17, Oregon 14
Dec. 30, 2004 Texas Tech 45, California 31
Dec. 23, 2003 Washington State 28, Texas 20
Dec. 27, 2002 Kansas State 34, Arizona State 27
Dec. 28, 2001 Texas 47, Washington 43
Dec. 29, 2000 Oregon 35, Texas 30
Dec. 30, 1999 Kansas State 24, Washington 20
Dec. 30, 1998 Arizona 23, Nebraska 20
Dec. 29, 1997 Colorado State 35, Missouri 24
Dec. 30, 1996 Colorado 33, Washington 21
Dec. 29, 1995 Kansas State 54, Colorado State 21
Dec. 30, 1994 Michigan 24, Colorado State 14
Dec. 30, 1993 Ohio State 28, Brigham Young 21
Dec. 30, 1992 Hawaii 27, Illinois 17
Dec. 30, 1991 Brigham Young 13, Iowa 13
Dec. 29, 1990 Texas A&M 65, Brigham Young 14
Dec. 29, 1989 Penn State 50, Brigham Young 39
Dec. 30, 1988 Oklahoma State 62, Wyoming 14
Dec. 30, 1987 Iowa 20, Wyoming 19
Dec. 30, 1986 Iowa 39, San Diego State 38
Dec. 22, 1985 Arkansas 18, Arizona State 17
Dec. 21, 1984 Brigham Young 24, Michigan 17
Dec. 23, 1983 Brigham Young 21, Missouri 17
Dec. 17, 1982 Ohio State 47, Brigham Young 17
Dec. 18, 1981 Brigham Young 38, Washington State 36
Dec. 19, 1980 Brigham Young 46, Southern Methodist 45
Dec. 21, 1979 Indiana 38, Brigham Young 37
Dec. 22, 1978 Navy 23, Brigham Young 16

Now use your time machine, go back in time, and place bets. Fun for the whole family!


Wednesday, June 07, 2006


I Demand You All Like What I Like

Why can't people just like the same things as me? I'm not talking about everyone's personal tastes conforming to mine, or validation for my magnificent taste in all things artistic and culinary. It would just be a whole lot easier to live my life if other people liked the same things as me.

Sue Foley has a new album out, James Harman had a new one out about a year ago, but unlike someone who likes Jessica Simpson, I can't just go down to Wal-Mart and buy a CD by one of my favorite artists. I find very little music I like in Wal-Mart and hate going there anyway, not because of some sort of "protect the small local businesses" bullshit, but because the parking lot is like a a demolition derby. Towns who don't want a Wal-Mart in their community are going about it all wrong. Don't try to vote to keep Wal-Mart out, just do everything you can to get rid of NASCAR. Defeat NASCAR and Wal-Mart will follow.

OK, so a crappy lowest common denominator retailer won't carry music I like. Like I really expected it to. But I went to the only real record store in town and they didn't have it. It was a sort of alternative record store, you know, lots of inscense and black light posters, and I really didn't expect them to have the latest Sue Foley release, but it was my only option in Cheyenne. Sure, they could order it for me, but other people don't have to go through this kind of hassle to listen to music they like. Nope, if everyone just liked what I liked, even Wal-Mart would carry CD's by Sue Foley, James Harman, Abby Someone, Supafloss, Steve James, Ben Folds (actually I think you can find his CD's there), Corey Harris, Susan Tedeschi, John Valby, etc.

And if everyone liked what I liked, Sue Foley would play concerts closer than Livingston Fucking Montana. I'd have gone, too, but it was like a 700 mile drive and I had to work that day. No, Sue would play at one of the local bars that converted from having only country acts after the world conformed to my tastes. She'd probably even stay at my place because I really like myself and if everyone liked the same things as me, Sue would like me as much as I do.

Those are selfish reasons, of course. It would make things easier for me if everyone liked what I do, but more importantly some very talented people would finally get the fame and fortune they deserve. I'm listening to Ben Folds right now. He made a splash about six years ago with great singles like Brick, The Battle of Who Could Care Less and One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces. Most people probably figure Ben is retired now (although I saw him on an episode of the cool show Love Monkey this season). But since the album Whatever and Ever, Amen, Ben Folds Five released The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner and after the breakup of BFF, Ben realeased solo albums Rockin' the Suburbs, a great live solo album called Ben Folds Live (not the most clever title, I know, but the "L" in Live is an upside down and backwards "F" and the font is the same that BFF used on all of their album covers) and his fantastic latest release Songs for Silverman. His career's not over, he's making music as good or better than people knew who he was. Anyone who can write songs like Landed and Gracie deserve notice, credit and accolades.

I could write something similar about any musicians I listen to a lot. My life would be a lot poorer without the music of Abby Someone, Steve James and the like. I think everyone else is a little poorer for not knowing about them. The artists themselves are, of course poorer in a different sense. The music I like tends to be made by musicians who are really doing it for the music. I'd just like to see them get all the great things they deserve.


Tuesday, June 06, 2006


If She Could Only Play Guitar.....

She's no Sue Foley, but she'll do....
In my opinion, the biggest problem with last summer's theatrical relase, Fantastic Four was that Jessica Alba's charachter, Sue Storm - The Invisible Girl, was that the very name of the charachter required the stunning to Miss Alba to spend some of her screen time invisible. What moron thought that up! Look, if Jessica Alba is in your film, don't do anything stupid like not allowing us to see her. In fact, the camera should be on her in every scene, even if she isn't really doing anything in it.

Now the makers of Hollow Man had the right idea. The movie is about a military experiment to create an invisible soldier. This movie featured Kevin Bacon & Elisabeth Shue, but the producers made the choice to make Kevin Bacon invisible, making the lovely Elisabeth Shue completely visible in every scene (though not nearly enough scenes) she was in.

Sue Foley, of course, remains completely visible throughout her performances. See, she gets it. I know, I know, the point is moot as invisibility is technically impossible. But I hope if some mad scientist offered it to her that she wouldn't take it, unless it was to sneak peeks of me naked. See, it's not quite so creepy when a woman does it to a man. OK, it's just a little bit creepy.....


Monday, June 05, 2006




Friday, June 02, 2006


Sue Foley Photo Friday!!!!

hot babe

I may have skipped Mega-Bitch Wednesday this week, but did anybody really believe I'd forget about Sue Foley Photo Friday?

I didn't think so.


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