Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Positive About the Fairer Sex
In my most general Positive Monday post ever, I'm going to talk about women and how much I really like them. And it is a general post, don't read too much into it. Of course, I won't be totally positive, but, well, you've all seen how this works so you'll have a pretty good idea of what to expect.
I've really only been in love 3 times in my life. I've had other relationships with women, but they failed, ultimately because we weren't in love (at least I wasn't, in truth, I can't speak for others involved in the situation). Then again, the 3 relationships where I was in love failed the same as the ones where I wasn't. And while I'll joke about the women who decided I wasn't worth keeping around (it was never my decision to break off a committed relationship), every time it really hurt.
Sometimes I'll say that the ex-wife sort of went insane, same with 2C. In both cases there's probably a little bit of truth in that. In fairness, though, I did things to drive both of them away, I'm man enough to admit that. I'll assign blame to them, but I'm willing to take my share as well. As for 5-55, I still don't understand that. She's a really good person, the only woman I've ever been seriously involved with who will still talk to me. She broke it off in a completely unexpected fashion on the day I moved 1300 miles to be with her. At least we went out and had a couple of beers first.
But that's a huge part of what I like about women. When I was a kid, I very seldom looked for my Christmas presents in my parents' closet. That would have ruined Christmas Eve (we opened gifts on Christmas Eve, I think, because we're very impatient people). I like surprises. I like not knowing what's going to happen. I'm good at making plans, but I don't (usually) freak out when things don't go according to plan. While I like good surprises better, the bad ones, the things I don't want to deal with but have to are the flip side of the coin that make the good surprises that much better.
Please don't think that I only think of women as candidates for relationships (candidates for relationships, yeah that's romantic, no wonder I don't have a girlfriend). I have and have had lots of wonderful female friends. I'm sure I always will. I've had female friends who I've found ridiculously attractive but who I know a romantic relationship isn't going to work with. Sometimes I'm OK with that. Sometimes I'm not, but it shouldn't mean that we can still be friends. There has been a tension in some of those friendships, and who knows, maybe they will explode into something else someday, or maybe we'll just stay friends. Truthfully, either way is OK.
I worked with a woman at DirecTV who I always thought was fun but we didn't have a whole lot of contact with each other at work. After my employment with the company had ended and while I was still living in California, a whole bunch of us who formerly worked together (some still with the company) went out for drinks. She was there, I'd give her a nickname, but I can't think of one right now (MonyP sometimes refers to her as Almond Rocca because..... oh, this is way to personal). She confided that she'd always found me attractive and by the end of the night we were making out. A pleasant surprise to say the least.
It happened again a few months later at MonyP's birthday. This young lady and I began making out in a Mexican restaurant. I probably wouldn't have thought of it except that MonyP took a couple of pictures of us kissing and they're in a photo album that I was looking at last night.
The whole thing, each time actually, was completely unexpected. I'd seen no indication that anything like this was going to happen. I've stated before that I'm an idiot when it comes to women, that I don't seem to see when things are coming. Maybe, subconsciously anyway, I'm trying to be surpsised, I'm trying not to notice what's coming next.
It goes the other way too. The first time 2C and I went out, I had decided that I wasn't going to sleep with her. I wasn't even going to try to sleep with her. I'd had a string of relationships that had progressed too quickly and sort of collapsed under their own weight. 2C seemed to be a nice girl and I wanted to try to have a relationship with her before sex clouded things. Ironically, she told me later that she was trying to do exactly the same thing. We both failed miserably, which we both found very satisfying.
So our relationship started with a great surprise. After a couple of weeks, though, I was constantly worried about our relationship. Things we constantly rough. It felt like it could fall apart at any moment. She'd get pissed of at me for seemingly no reason, I'd do the same with her. We'd be on the verge of ending it and then, somehow get back together. When it finally ended after 3 months, it was actually a relief. It was a surprise, that while I saw it coming, still came in an unexpected manner.
When men complain about women, one thing that we'll bring up is the wild mood swings. I've been screamed at by a woman in a bar (Leo's Lounge, Vermillion, SD December 1994) and while I didn't particularly enjoy that, it does make for an entertaining story. The ex-wife had the wildest mood swings of any person I've ever met. It wasn't easy, but I learned to deal with it. It lead to more surprises. Some good, some not so good, but never boring. 2C was a little bit the same way, but let's face it, she had a high standard to live up to. In truth all women have a little bit of that in them (in my limited experience, anyway), but complaining about it is pointless. It's like complaining that women have breasts. They've all got them. OK, maybe that's not the best analogy, I like women's breast better than their crazy hormonal mood swings. Actually, there probably isn't a really good analogy, but hopefully you get the point.
The whole can't live with 'em - can't live without 'em thing about women has a lot of truth in it. But the things that make us crazy about women just serve to, well, make us crazy about women. And I'm really glad that I haven't figured them out completely. I never want to.
BOJ
I've really only been in love 3 times in my life. I've had other relationships with women, but they failed, ultimately because we weren't in love (at least I wasn't, in truth, I can't speak for others involved in the situation). Then again, the 3 relationships where I was in love failed the same as the ones where I wasn't. And while I'll joke about the women who decided I wasn't worth keeping around (it was never my decision to break off a committed relationship), every time it really hurt.
Sometimes I'll say that the ex-wife sort of went insane, same with 2C. In both cases there's probably a little bit of truth in that. In fairness, though, I did things to drive both of them away, I'm man enough to admit that. I'll assign blame to them, but I'm willing to take my share as well. As for 5-55, I still don't understand that. She's a really good person, the only woman I've ever been seriously involved with who will still talk to me. She broke it off in a completely unexpected fashion on the day I moved 1300 miles to be with her. At least we went out and had a couple of beers first.
But that's a huge part of what I like about women. When I was a kid, I very seldom looked for my Christmas presents in my parents' closet. That would have ruined Christmas Eve (we opened gifts on Christmas Eve, I think, because we're very impatient people). I like surprises. I like not knowing what's going to happen. I'm good at making plans, but I don't (usually) freak out when things don't go according to plan. While I like good surprises better, the bad ones, the things I don't want to deal with but have to are the flip side of the coin that make the good surprises that much better.
Please don't think that I only think of women as candidates for relationships (candidates for relationships, yeah that's romantic, no wonder I don't have a girlfriend). I have and have had lots of wonderful female friends. I'm sure I always will. I've had female friends who I've found ridiculously attractive but who I know a romantic relationship isn't going to work with. Sometimes I'm OK with that. Sometimes I'm not, but it shouldn't mean that we can still be friends. There has been a tension in some of those friendships, and who knows, maybe they will explode into something else someday, or maybe we'll just stay friends. Truthfully, either way is OK.
I worked with a woman at DirecTV who I always thought was fun but we didn't have a whole lot of contact with each other at work. After my employment with the company had ended and while I was still living in California, a whole bunch of us who formerly worked together (some still with the company) went out for drinks. She was there, I'd give her a nickname, but I can't think of one right now (MonyP sometimes refers to her as Almond Rocca because..... oh, this is way to personal). She confided that she'd always found me attractive and by the end of the night we were making out. A pleasant surprise to say the least.
It happened again a few months later at MonyP's birthday. This young lady and I began making out in a Mexican restaurant. I probably wouldn't have thought of it except that MonyP took a couple of pictures of us kissing and they're in a photo album that I was looking at last night.
The whole thing, each time actually, was completely unexpected. I'd seen no indication that anything like this was going to happen. I've stated before that I'm an idiot when it comes to women, that I don't seem to see when things are coming. Maybe, subconsciously anyway, I'm trying to be surpsised, I'm trying not to notice what's coming next.
It goes the other way too. The first time 2C and I went out, I had decided that I wasn't going to sleep with her. I wasn't even going to try to sleep with her. I'd had a string of relationships that had progressed too quickly and sort of collapsed under their own weight. 2C seemed to be a nice girl and I wanted to try to have a relationship with her before sex clouded things. Ironically, she told me later that she was trying to do exactly the same thing. We both failed miserably, which we both found very satisfying.
So our relationship started with a great surprise. After a couple of weeks, though, I was constantly worried about our relationship. Things we constantly rough. It felt like it could fall apart at any moment. She'd get pissed of at me for seemingly no reason, I'd do the same with her. We'd be on the verge of ending it and then, somehow get back together. When it finally ended after 3 months, it was actually a relief. It was a surprise, that while I saw it coming, still came in an unexpected manner.
When men complain about women, one thing that we'll bring up is the wild mood swings. I've been screamed at by a woman in a bar (Leo's Lounge, Vermillion, SD December 1994) and while I didn't particularly enjoy that, it does make for an entertaining story. The ex-wife had the wildest mood swings of any person I've ever met. It wasn't easy, but I learned to deal with it. It lead to more surprises. Some good, some not so good, but never boring. 2C was a little bit the same way, but let's face it, she had a high standard to live up to. In truth all women have a little bit of that in them (in my limited experience, anyway), but complaining about it is pointless. It's like complaining that women have breasts. They've all got them. OK, maybe that's not the best analogy, I like women's breast better than their crazy hormonal mood swings. Actually, there probably isn't a really good analogy, but hopefully you get the point.
The whole can't live with 'em - can't live without 'em thing about women has a lot of truth in it. But the things that make us crazy about women just serve to, well, make us crazy about women. And I'm really glad that I haven't figured them out completely. I never want to.
BOJ
# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 9:06 AM 
Comments:
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I'm a woman and I don't have women figured out. You'd think that with the inside track advantage I'd have greater understanding, but I don't.
I think that relationship-wise, women have done nastier, more evil things to me than any man ever has.
With the exception of a few, close female friends I've had over the years, I'd rather deal with, drink with, hang out with, sleep with men.
Oh, by the way, the same hormones that create the breasts cause the mood swings. So actually, the analogy makes sense.
Oh, also btw, the only Amy that I know is my niece, who I'm pretty sure is still residing in Wisconsin with her cute husband and two adorable children.
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I think that relationship-wise, women have done nastier, more evil things to me than any man ever has.
With the exception of a few, close female friends I've had over the years, I'd rather deal with, drink with, hang out with, sleep with men.
Oh, by the way, the same hormones that create the breasts cause the mood swings. So actually, the analogy makes sense.
Oh, also btw, the only Amy that I know is my niece, who I'm pretty sure is still residing in Wisconsin with her cute husband and two adorable children.
# posted by 
: 4:59 PM
: 4:59 PM << Home
