Thursday, February 21, 2008

Well, not exactly right now, but within 24 hours.

I don't exactly know when I'll be back to posting. Who knows, maybe we'll all enjoy the break...

See you on the other side.



A Day Early



Wednesday, February 20, 2008



I got a call from my new employer yesterday. They were inquiring as to whether I would like to take on a different position from the one I'd been hired for. The new position would be at a higher rate of pay, but would require me to work overnights.

I considered, but in the end I'm not at a point in my life where I want to work overnights. The person calling expressed his regret at my not taking the position, as my skill set was exactly what they were looking for to take on this new and somewhat important project.

Consider that again. My new employer actually looked at my skills. They realized that my skills fit another important position. They offered me more money to take on a different position.

No other job I've ever accepted has done anything like this. Most will try to screw you over before you even start working for them. They will try to somehow give you less than you were expecting or were promised.

I feel respected. I feel like they want me there. I feel like they're going to be fair to me. That's all I've ever really asked for.

Fuck Dish Network or Echostar or whatever they're calling themselves these days.


Tuesday, February 19, 2008



I don't ask for help often or very well. Two years ago, this wasn't much of a problem. I could do anything. I was a little bit heavy but in decent shape and awfully strong. I was the guy that other people asked for help. If you needed something heavy lifted, I was your man.

With MS those days are gone, of course. I have a hard enough time dealing with the day-to-day crap in my life. I still try to do things myself as much as possible. When it comes to moving a residence over 100 miles, that's a little too much to ask.

My dad was unable to help as he's booked up pretty solid right now. Plus my mom is in the hospital with a bacterial infection. That pretty much takes my whoe family out of the equation.

I'd found a really good deal on a 26' rental truck. It was a great deal until I realized that I couldn't carry anything to the cheap truck, that once I arrived at my destination, I wouldn't be able to unload the same. A rental truck was out of the question.

I looked into movers. Expensive, not because I have a huge amount of stuff or because of distance, but because 7 miles south I'll cross a state line which means I have to go with a company licensed to operate in all 50 states. There are weigh stations to deal with. Everything has to be correct or there's lots of trouble.

In the end I went with a moving company. It's costing me way too much money, but I think it will be worth it. I will have a load in my car, but that's all I'll have to deal with. I should be somewhat refreshed after my move as I begin unpacking my boxes.

To save money, I packed myself. I still had boxes from previous moves, broken down and under my bed. It's funny the things you think of when you've lived 27 (soon to be 28) different places in your life. I've packid things up and packed them well. I'm ready for the movers on Friday.

And I did it myself.

That's not to say I had no help. My parents were supportive and have loaned me money for the move. My dad put an engine in my Subaru in just 3 days, so him agreeing to lend money says a lot about the situation he was in. I learned to do things for myself from my parents and it was a great lesson to learn. I just can't do it anymore, though.

They've been emotionally supportive as well. As I would end each day, completely worn out from packing boxes, I would call them just to talk. They were always there for me. In the end, that's really all I needed, someone to talk to, someone to support me and help me through a difficult time.

I had other support as well, but it fell through. Maybe I'll try to pick up the pieces after I get moved. Maybe I won't. I really feel like I got left on my own on Sunday morning and I'm very upset about it. I was told to deal with all of this shit on my own.

Which I did.

I screwed up my back the day before. My mom went into the hospital on Sunday. Despite the steroid treatment a while back, I feel like shit every day. And I got everything done all by myself. I was told, under bad conditions - even for me, to do things for myself.

I did. I did like I always do.




I started a list of personal rules years ago while I was getting divorced. Because of the timing, the rules tended to be about relationships with women. While I've never gotten to writing them all down, here's some example of the kind of rules I came up with:

  • If a woman screws you over once, she'll screw you over again

  • Losing a woman is not the end of the world

  • No woman is worth a second chance

  • There was one more that is pretty fitting right now:

  • All rules about women apply equally to jobs

  • It probably wasn't the only cause, but I lost my job 3 months before my separation. It was at that point that I began to realize that any job is a relationship and, as such, is similar to a relationship with a woman.

    I haven't had the best of luck in either arena. Unlike relationships with women, I have occasionally left jobs on my terms, moving on to something better of my choosing. With women, it's never happened that way. I have never been the one who chose to end a relationship.

    I'm breaking one of my rules. I'm probably breaking it out of necessity. I'm going back to a former employer. It was an employer that treated me very well monetarily, but probably in no other way. It would probably be like me going back to a hot former girlfriend who treated me like shit.

    To take the analogy a step further, my last "relationship" was like being dumped by a hideous woman who told you she would treat you like shit then did, in fact, treat you like shit.

    The bottom line is that I'm breaking my rule. It bugs the shit out of me. The money is a huge improvement, though, so I'll probably be able to deal with it. The "hot chick" factor is making this a whole lot more acceptable to me. I just have to ready myself for the bullshit.

    This is certainly not the way I want to go into a new job. In spite of all the shit I had to deal with while being hired by Echostar (the hideous chick who treated me like shit), I did my damnedest to go into that job with a good attitude.

  • If a woman screws you over once, she'll screw you over again

  • I won't go into this job with a bad attitude, but I will go into it with my eyes wide open.

    I probably don't follow my rules quite the way I used to. There have been women I've considered starting things up with again in the last couple of years. I'm going back to a former employer. I'm going back to situations that have proven to be bad in the past.

    I'm either showing remarkable growth or remarkable stupidity.


    Sunday, February 17, 2008


    Hell of a Day...

    ...and the universe is piling on.


    Friday, February 15, 2008


    In A Few Years, We'll All Laugh About This Shitty New Health Insurance Plan

    THIS might actually be funny if Echostar hadn't treated me and their other fine employees nearly exactly like this.


    Labels: ,


    Asian Markets Fall Like Cherry Blossoms In Gentle Spring Rain

    From The Onion:

    TOKYO, HONG KONG, SEOUL—Asian stocks closed one of the worst and most mournfully reflective months on record last week, with the falling American dollar negatively impacting trade volume and causing the markets to drift, like the faded cherry petals of spring blossoms, downward towards the shadowed sea of burgeoning recession, Eastern market analysts warned Monday.

    "Our worst monthly drop
    rate cuts make investors flee
    to commodities"

    Nikkei Index vice commissioner Fukako Mishima said, claiming job creation by Mitsubishi, Kawasaki Heavy Industries, and Sony failed to provide confidence in a market already as skittish as the aging husband of a teenage bride, forcing investors to shore up cash reserves with orders of durable goods and agricultural products.

    "Fading dollar's gleam
    a feeble warning beacon
    Seek bellies of pork."

    Any humor that includes haiku is OK with me...





    Thursday, February 14, 2008


    Debbie Clemens Forced To Explain Lifetime 0.00 ERA

    From The Onion Sports:

    WASHINGTON, DC—A week after facing accusations of injecting human-growth hormone in 2003, Roger Clemens' wife Debbie has come under increased scrutiny from baseball fans and media figures who claim the revelation calls her lifetime major league 0.00 ERA into question. "Zero hits, zero walks, zero runs allowed," said local fan Dave Winthrop upon hearing about the charges, which he called "disheartening to say the least." "I guess when you think about it, based on what we know now, it makes sense. How could someone—a 39-year-old mother of four, no less—put up these kind of career numbers without the aid of illegal substances? Sad." Clemens has defended herself by saying that those extremely low numbers are simply the result of her never having pitched in the major leagues, excepting only her perfect game against the Baltimore Orioles in August of 2003.




    Wednesday, February 13, 2008


    Do We Really Want Another Black President After The Events Of Deep Impact?

    Food for thought from The Onion:

    Have we learned nothing from the tragic events of 1998, when, under the watch of President Morgan Freeman, this nation was plunged into chaos, and hundreds of millions of people died at the hands of the deadly Wolf-Beiderman space rock? The mere fact that this country is even considering putting another black man, Barack Obama, in the Oval Office proves that we have not.

    Speaking of The Onion, this week's This American Life featured a segment on the weekly creating of The Onion. At last, a glimpse inside my dream job.

    Check out the first segment of "Tough Room." Fascinating and quite enlightening.


    Tuesday, February 12, 2008


    The Globex Corporation Newsletter's
    First Annual






    Monday, February 11, 2008



    I'm moving, I've been packing and managing my move all day, tying up loose ends as much as possible. The last thing I should probably be doing is posting a blog, but when inspiration strikes...

    I'm in a really reflective mood right now. There are lots of reasons for that. I was writing on the BOJ MySpace Music Page today, writing about my influences. It's turned into not being about people who have influenced me musically, but people who have just plain been decent to me, who liked and respected what I did.

    That got me to thinking about people who have been nice to me in general. Let me just say that most people aren't nice to me. Most people, given the chance, will do anything they can to fuck me over. I'm not in the best of health or financial standing right now, I can use all of the help I can get, I don't need more trouble.

    But there are people, wonderful people, who are, if nothing else, emotionally supportive to me right now. I have a girlfriend. I have an old roommate who I just talked to on the phone. There's MonyP who called while I was on the phone with the roomie. My parents are great. I haven't spent much time with them recently, but my neighbors are great.

    When I think about it, I have such a strong web of support and I simply can't believe it. I bitch, but people help me. People who barely know me are kind to me. People I've shit on forgive me. I'm not alone and I find that completely unbelievable.

    So when you hear me complain, realize that shit isn't nearly as bad with me as I make it out to be. I'm OK. I'll make it through this and anything else that comes along. I'll make it because I'm tough, but mostly I'll get by because lots of people are lending a hand when they can. I wouldn't make it without any of you.

    Thank you.

    What inspired this post was a song by one of my "musical" influences, Joe Bucholz from the RC. I find it hard to believe that I fell in with such a amazing group of talent in such a small place. Joe's lyrics always make me think. Joe was always great and supportive to me, even if he did originally think that Patient 957 was some old guy and his two sons.

    The lyrics to "It's a Little Complicated" always make me reflective for a number of reasons. I won't go into them all right now, the important one is that it takes me back to a very happy time in my life when I was playing a whole lot of music. A time when I could play a whole lot of music. A time before I knew I had MS or had even considered working in a shit hole like Echostar. My life wasn't perfect then either, but I was sure happy.



    MST3K Reborn

    One of my favorite TV shows of all time was Mystery Science Theater 3000. Why? Three words: foul mouthed robots.

    Actually, one of the most inventive things on ever on TV. Oh, we all do this when we're watching movies, but I don't give a damn who you are, you're not as funny as the show was even after Joel left.

    Funny, but it's gone.

    Not so fast, head over to Cinematic Titanic. Who we got in this new effort? Let's start with Joel Hodgson, the genius who brought us MST3K. How about Trace Beaulieu, J. Elvis Weinstein, Frank Conniff (aka "TV's Frank") and Mary Jo Pehl? That's a big chunk of the original MST3K.

    How about a look at the trailer?

    Life is good.


    Sunday, February 10, 2008


    Enlarged My Jang

    I know I really don't do Spam of the Week anymore but this was just so freaking bizzare to pass up:

    Subject: Chicks choose guys with big male device sure enough
    Date: February 10, 2008 2:41:24 AM MST

    Man, I discovered very interesting thing and want to advise you about it.

    Before I began to use this thing my male aggregate was too small so small that I feel shy to speak about the size.

    But now my life has changed. I enlarged my jang length, women love me too mush that now I am glad.

    P.S Today I can come 7 times during the night. Do you fell the difference?

    Well, I'm convinced. "Enlarged my jang length?" "Women love me too mush?" I don't know what either of them means, but now the only think about is having enlarged jang length and having women loving me to mush.

    I'm a simple man, though. Having an enlarged jang and and having women love me too much would probably complete me. I could finally become the man I was intended to be.

    An amazing offer like this couldn't last long. I've undoubtedly missed the boat. What are you gonna do?


    Saturday, February 09, 2008


    My Dream is Over...

    I remember when Willie Mays retired from baseball. It was the first time I'd ever even considered what a professional athlete made, money-wise. That was it for me, money to play a game? How the hell does a guy get that gig?

    At that point, by having exceptional athletic talent, nurturing it, catching a break, being in the right situation. If you had the talent and the situation came up right, you could be a professional athlete. If you avoided injury. If you worked hard. If you were able to work out long and hard with very little time in between workouts.

    It's a little different today. The Mitchell Report showed us how different it is. Steroids. Human Growth Hormone. Other shit nobody even talks about yet.

    First it was steroids. Back in the 80's there were rumors. Some guys were hitting the 'roids. I was skeptical. Maybe I was just naïve. Maybe I didn't want to believe the game wasn't on the up and up. I mean, how much could steroids help a ballplayer?

    Over the past four days, and once again tomorrow, I have been adminstered 250ml of a steroid, Methylprednisolone
    to help with an exacerbation of my MS symptoms. How much can steroids help. I can talk first hand about how steroids have helped an MS patient. It's like I've turned back the course of my disease by six months. For the first time in half a year, I can say that I don't feel worse today than I did yesterday.

    I follow a very limited exercise program. It's a program that wipes me out. On the Solu-Medrol, I can do more exercise. I have, over the past four days, doubled my exercise routine. I can walk pretty effectively without a cane. I can get things done like I used to. It's absolutely amazing.

    If steroids can do that for me, what could they do for a finely tuned athlete? Imagine a 21 year old outfielder, struggling in the minors, he just needs a break to get to the bigs. Imagine if he could work out twice or three times as often. He still has to have talent, but he can make his body better at an amazing rate, a rate that would be impossible without steroids.

    Drugs, any drugs are not good or bad. They are completely neutral. What we choose to do with them is good or bad. For me steroids are great. For that 21 year old outfielder, steroids are cheating. It's also cheating for all of the juiced pitchers he's facing.

    In reality my major league dreams were over in my pre-teen years. I never had the drive of a Willie Mays and nowhere near his talent. I'll soon be 43 years old. I have Multiple Sclerosis. The Mitchell Report is out and baseball is cracking down on steroid users like myself. I guess I'll never play in the major leagues

    A dream of my childhood is gone, partially (not even close to entirely, though) because I'm a steroid user. The dreams of my adult life, to have a job, to be a productive member of society, to live a life as normal as possible continue because I'm a steroid user.

    Side effects:
    1. I'm not sleeping well

    2. My mouth tastes horrible, like I've been sucking on a nickle

    3. In spite of #2, I'm still really hungry

    4. I'm really horny

    5. I've had a needle in my arm the past 4 days

    6. I have less excuses than I did four days ago

    Proud Steroid User

    Friday, February 08, 2008


    Life is Fucking Hilarious

    On 9 November 2007, I was fired from my job at [Nameless Company], which will, from this day forward be referred to as Echostar Communications or Dish Network.

    The story of why this happened is kind of long. Following the [Nameless Company] label will reveal some of what happened. The last straw was when I was not given information that I had requested from my spineless piece of shit manager, information that he told me he'd get back to me with, information that he had for two fucking weeks at this point.

    I demanded he come in and give me the information. Frankly, I didn't believe him because I've caught him in several lies in the past. I demanded he call Human Resources as that was who the info ultimately was to come from. The spineless piece of shit got HR on the phone immediately, which now seems a little remarkable since it was after their business hours. But an HR rep was on the phone in seconds.

    I wasn't pleasant with anyone involved and my evening ended with me being escorted from the building. The guy with MS was going to cause great damage on his way out of the building, I guess. I was placed on "Administrative Leave" and awaited my fate. On 9 November my fate was spelled out for me.

    The best thing was that I found out that the spineless piece of shit manager did not act properly, withholding information from an employee as near as I can tell, because he was too fucking lazy to answer an email from me again asking for the information. He apparently got in trouble for that. How much, I don't know. His actions cost me my job, I doubt that he suffered as I did.

    That's the way it always worked at that place though. They fuck up and get angry when you complain about it. I was given incorrect benefits information by the benefits office and I was written up because I got angry that they fucked up. They responded to my request at appealing the decision to fire me by sending a letter to the wrong address. They've got all of my information, they're just really fucking stupid. The final indignity was when they hung up on me while firing me. Yeah, they're the communications company that doesn't know how to use a fucking phone.

    The funny thing is that for the next couple of nights, I slept amazingly well. I so hated my job at Echostar that it was a relief for it to just be over. I was told that I wouldn't receive a promotion or raise, but more work was expected of me. If I refused to take on extra work, a certain spineless piece of shit told me that it would "reflect poorly on me." All of this while new hires were being brought on at higher pay than the rest of the staff. I couldn't get a promotion, people from the outside were being hired at a pay rate above me, essentially getting the promotion that I was denied. It's no wonder I slept better not having to worry about that shit.

    Of course, I didn't have a job, and that can always be stressful. I also have a terrible disease that, among other things, can cause depression. I do have lots of experience, so there were enough job interviews to keep me busy. I have two very promising things on the line. Earlier today, one of them came through.

    So I'm moving again. South. I still haven't figured out all of the logistics of the move, but it will be before the end of the month. My first day of work is two weeks from Monday.

    The company I'll be working for isn't perfect. I know because I've worked for them before. They do pay well. They were interested in me because I have experience in my field. I'm not getting a job because I live in the city the business is in and I showed up on the day they opened the door. I have experience, the specific experience that can only be gained at the three companies I've worked for that do this type of business.

    I have experience and they're willing to pay me for it. I'll be making nearly 30% more than I was at Echostar. I'll be making that because I'm worth it. Right out of the box, they're telling me I'm worth something. They're not fucking me out of a week's vacation by hiring me right after the first of the year. They didn't screw up in calling every one of my references. They didn't fuck up my expenses. They told me they cared, they offered me a fair wage. I accepted because, well, I'm fucking worth it. It's nice when your employer agrees before you've even showed up to work.





    Thursday, February 07, 2008


    ESPN Radio

    Far be it for me to praise a Disney property, but for the most part, I really like ESPN Radio. I don't like everything about it, I don't like everything about ESPN in general, but I really like ESPN Radio better than the other sports talk options.

    Before I got my iPod, ESPN radio was constantly on my car radio. At first I listened to the Denver station to get my sports talk fix, but the Denver station switched to Sporting News Radio at the beginning of 2007. Also, they ran some truly horrible local shows that I just couldn't stand. I tried to listen, but the Sporting News option was not pleasant to me.

    Fox, of course, also has a sports talk radio outlet. If anything, it's worse than sporting news, though, truthfully, I've been able to avoid it pretty effectively.

    I started listening to ESPN to hear Tony Korneiser. I loved Kornheiser because it wasn't just sports, it was a lot of social thought, politics. There was sports, of course, but it wasn't only sports. Tony quit ESPN Radio a few years ago. He now does a show similar to his old show on Washington Post radio. I catch it when I can, but I generally don't get to hear it.

    Kornheiser was replaced on ESPN by Colin Cowherd, who I have stated many times that I don't like. Part of that is because he replaced Kornheiser. Mostly it's because he's
    a fucking idiot. As a host, I expect you to use the English language well. Maybe holding Cowherd to what I expected out of Kornheiser wasn't fair as Tony is an excellent writer, a Washington Post columnist with a couple of books under his belt. Cowherd does not use the language well, mispronounces easy words, misuses words. He knows sports well enough, but his difficulties with the language make his show difficult for me to listen to.

    Today for whatever reason, Cowherd was replaced by Eric Kuselias. I really like Kuselias, his afternoon show was great. It's not a perminant thing, ESPN loves Cowherd for some reason. No, Kuselias is without a regular radio gig for a while. Too bad as today's "The Herd" show was bearable. His ESPN bio lists Brown as Kuselias' alma mater. Brown. In the Ivy League. Cowherd? No alama mater listed. Just a radio schmuck. It shows.

    I don't work in radio. I don't know what people like. Hell, I liked Dennis Miller on Monday Night Football. I know what I like, though, and I think ESPN radio underestimates the intelligence of their listeners. They have to if Cowherd has a job and Kornheiser and Kuselias don't.


    ...I think it's the "hard-K" sound...

    Wednesday, February 06, 2008


    Lego Turns 50

    From The Onion:

    The Lego, invented by a Danish toy manufacturer, turned 50 last week. Here are some highlights from the history of this popular interlocking brick:

  • March 10, 1962: After four years of lagging sales, one of the designers has the idea to add a second color to the set.

  • May 15, 1965: Lego scientists create a momentary tear in space-time by building a giant Lego brick out of Lego bricks.

  • Aug. 24, 1968: Following a long and difficult struggle, Legoland's constitution is ratified.

  • June 6, 1971: Lego care package is sent to brother in Vietnam.

  • Oct. 19, 1974: The first Lego human minifigure journeys through the human digestive system.

  • June 23, 1989: CEO of Megablox accidentally refers to own product as "Legos."

  • Jan. 21, 1998: Story rights for blue, red, and green Lego bricks optioned by Dreamworks.

  • Dec. 9, 2007: The company estimates that there are more than 2 billion Legos on the floor of living rooms around the world that need to be picked up.

  • BOJ



    World Leaders Gather To Roast Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    Read this cool story from The Onion.

    "As a Jew, it's a real honor to be standing in front of the president of Iran. And don't worry if I die up here, Mahmoud—you can just deny it later." -Gilbert Gottfried

    Check out the Slideshow.



    Tuesday, February 05, 2008



    Before last night, I had never seen an episode of How I Met Your Mother. In truth, I never would have watched it if the person I was with hadn't been watching it. All in all, it seems to be a funny show, I'm not sure if I'll ever watch it on my own, but I got a giggle out of it.

    It was this part that got me thinking:

    If you're a guy, this rings just a little bit too true. Face it, as guys we are much
    more forgiving of "hot" women than we are of those who are not so hot. Unfair? Probably, but that's just the way it goes.

    Just to be clear, here is a restatement of Barney's theorem. A woman is allowed to be crazy up to a level equaling her "hottness." Crossing "The Vickie Mendoza Diagonal" is not allowed. At this point, the woman must be dumped.

    I have only been "in love" 4 times in my life. If only I'd had "The Hot/Crazy Scale" to consult before each of those relationships. I'm not attracted to crazy women, but
    I sort of bring that out in women. I don't think I've ever started a relationship with a woman who was below "The Vickie Mendoza Diagonal," but all of my relationships, save my current one, have ended as that line was crossed.

    My ex-wife, for example seemed nice enough. Not hot, exactly, but an attractive enough woman. She didn't start out crazy, but she ended up that way. Maybe I drove her to it, maybe it's just the way things were bound to turn out, I don't know. I never should have tried to hang on as she made the mad dash through "The Vickie

    The next woman, let's call her 2C was as close to an insane person as I've ever been involved with. She was just plain crazy. Smart as all hell, but 2C had a kind of tenuous grip on reality. Very attractive, but after a while I had to ask myself if she was worth it. The answer was a resounding NO!!!

    The last woman I'll be plotting on the Hot/Crazy Scale (I know better than to comment like this on current relationships, even if she claims not to read this blog anymore)
    is a woman I call 5-55. She was one of the nicest people I've ever met. She was older than myself, even older than I am now, so it's hard to describe her as "hot." Still, she was attractive enough, and really, in the grand scheme of things, not all that crazy. She probably spent most of our time together right at "The Vickie Mendoza Diagonal." She probably didn't cross the line, but somehow it didn't work out.

    Of these women, two of them (at least) are married now, so other men are dealing with the Hot/Crazy Scale in those instances. I hope the men in those cases handle the ratio better than I did. I could have plotted for women I just dated, but if you think 2C was scary, you should have seen some of the short term relationships I was in...


    Monday, February 04, 2008


    The knights who say "nerd": 20 pop-cultural obsessions even geekier than Monty Python

    From The Onion A/V Club:

    1. Star Trek

    2. Renaissance faires

    3. Fantasy sports leagues

    4. Michael Jackson

    5. Wikipedia

    6. Battlestar Galactica

    7. Then Rocky Horror Picture Show

    8. Josh Weldon

    9. Media Specific Role-playing

    10. Magic: The Gathering

    11. The World of Warcraft

    12. The Simpsons

    13. Dr. Who

    14. Frank Zappa

    15. Game-show tape trading

    16. Anime

    17. Cosplay

    18. Live-action Role-playing

    19. Second Life/MySpace/Facebook

    20. Fanfic


    Friday, February 01, 2008



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    I'm not telling you anything...