Friday, October 31, 2008



From The Onion:

Supremes Court Upholds Stopping In The Name Of Love In 2-1 Decision

WASHINGTON—After months of deliberation, the Supremes Court, the soulful judicial body that oversees federal matters of the heart, issued a historic decision in the case of Holland v. Baby, Baby, opting to uphold the practice of stopping in the name of love by a 2-1 vote.

"The court has given careful consideration to arguments from both sides, and tried so hard, hard to be patient," Justice Cindy Birdsong said in her well-choreographed majority decision. "It is our opinion that stopping in the name of love is not only the compulsory duty of the philandering party, but it would be irresponsible for him to do otherwise, pursuant to the aforementioned instances in which we have been both good and sweet to you, as well as the imminent risk of breaking the court's heart."

Added Justice Birdsong, "Think it o-o-ver."


Tuesday, October 28, 2008


NFL Rankings - Week 8

  1. (1)Tennessee Titans (7-0)
    King of the mountain. Can anybody knock them off the top?

  2. (3) New York Giants (6-1)
    Move up by beating #2

  3. (2)Pitsburgh Steelers (5-2)
    Good game against the Giants

  4. (6)Carolina Panthers (6-2)
    Good showing against the Cards

  5. (4)Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-3)
    How did they lose to a banged-up Cowboys team?

  6. (5)Buffalo Bills (5-2)
    Dropped one they had to win

  7. (8)Washington Redskins (6-2)
    It was just the Lions

  8. (9)Dallas Cowboys (5-3)
    First win without Romo

  9. (7)Arizona Cardinals (4-3)
    I kept telling you they're still the Cardinals

  10. (10)Denver Broncos (4-3)
    They didn't even play and they picked up a half game in the division

Out of Top 10: None

Teams on the "Rise": Everybody else at 4-3...

ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Standings


Monday, October 27, 2008

Bring in the slaves let 'em eat and bathe
Swig moonshine then join the rave
Supafloss we would play
Abraham Lincoln as a guest DJ
On the dance floor Harriet shakes her thing
Bring down the lights every native queen
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Harriet Tubman



Saturday, October 25, 2008


After Monday night, I'll take a "non-loss"...

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


NFL Rankings - Week 7

  1. (1)Tennessee Titans (6-0)
    Great defense and they can run the ball, what more do you need?

  2. (2)Pitsburgh Steelers (5-1)
    Smacked the Bengals around, who doesn't

  3. (3) New York Giants (5-1)
    I guess last week was a hiccup

  4. (4)Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-2)
    That's some serious defense

  5. (5)Buffalo Bills (5-1)
    I guess they're for real...

  6. (8)Carolina Panthers (5-2)
    Good QB, good running game, great defense

  7. (9)Arizona Cardinals (4-2)
    They're still the Cardinals, but they move up

  8. (10)Washington Redskins (5-2)
    Have looked great in 5 wins, not so much in two losses

  9. (6)Dallas Cowboys (4-3)
    Two losses in a row...

  10. (7)Denver Broncos (4-3)
    Yikes! That was ugly!

Out of Top 10: None

Teams on the Rise: Atlanta Falcons(4-2), New England Patriots (4-2)

ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Standings



Monday, October 20, 2008



Wednesday, October 15, 2008

From The Onion:

'I Am Under 18' Button Clicked For First Time In History Of Internet

CHINO, CA—In an unprecedented and historic event Monday, the "I Am Under 18" button, an Internet security device which if selected restricts access to websites featuring adult content, was clicked for the first time ever. "I knew I could simply claim to be over 18 and continue onto my desired destination, but I also realized that I would have to live with that lie for the rest of my life," said local resident Garrett Kinley, 17. "I admit, I was curious to see what type of material I would find on, but that button was clearly placed there for a reason, and let's face it: 17 and three-quarters is not 18. I plan to return to the site three months from now, when I will be mature enough to handle its content." Moments later, Kinley's friend Dave Gerrard, 17, pushed Kinley aside and clicked the "I Am Over 18" button himself, at which point a tactical police unit broke down his bedroom door and arrested him


Tuesday, October 14, 2008


NFL Rankings - Week 6

  1. (2)Tennessee Titans (5-0)
    Gain the top spot by default, not that they're not a good team...

  2. (4)Pitsburgh Steelers (4-1)
    If they can keep a RB healthy, they're a dangerous team

  3. (1) New York Giants (4-1)
    A loss to Cleveland? How the hell did that happen?

  4. (10)Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-2)
    A big jump, but everybody above them lost

  5. (8)Buffalo Bills (4-1)
    Can they stay in this spot?

  6. (3)Dallas Cowboys (4-2)
    The next four weeks are without Romo

  7. (6)Denver Broncos (4-2)
    The Jags are no pushover

  8. (7)Carolina Panthers (4-2)
    Lost to a good Bucs team

  9. (-)Arizona Cardinals (4-2)
    Before we get too excited, remember, they're still the Cardinals...

  10. (5)Washington Redskins (4-2)
    Maybe a loss to the league's worst team will build character...

Out of Top 10: (9)Chicago Bears (3-3)

Teams on the Rise: Atlanta Falcons(4-2), Indianapolis Colts (3-2), New York Jets (3-2)

ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Standings


Labels: ,

Monday, October 13, 2008

From The Onion:

Financial Planner Advises Shorter Life Span

TUCSON, AZ—After reviewing his client's income, assets, and personal budget Tuesday, Morgan Stanley financial adviser Henry Dalton determined that Jason Hutchinson, 43, could make the best use of his portfolio by dropping dead at the age of 62. "Taking account of inflation and the rising cost of living versus the projected direction of the economy in the coming decade, I told Mr. Hutchinson that he could significantly reduce his spending by simply living less," Dalton said. "After looking at his investments, I calculated that he really shouldn't live a day over 62—or 59 if he wants a funeral." In order to help his client plan for his financial future, Dalton presented Hutchinson with several of the company's comprehensive suicide packages.


Sunday, October 12, 2008


Globex Brand Trading Cards- Collect 'em All!


Petrified bubble gum sold separately...



Friday, October 10, 2008


Exciting News for The Globex Corporation Newsletter

In stunning news, the blogs of the Globex Corporation; this one and The BOJ News Service, have been chosen as this month's selections for Oprah's Blog Club.

Oprah has commanded her viewers to read my blogs. I just hope I can handle all of the traffic...


Thursday, October 09, 2008



Tuesday, October 07, 2008

If you want to write a letter write a letter
If you'd rather make a phone call pick the phone up
Call me
But if you had to say it all with a pop song
Couldn't you at least have written a good one

Ben Folds
Way To Normal



NFL Rankings - Week 5

  1. (1) New York Giants (4-0)
    Exactly when did this team become an offensive jugernaut?

  2. (2)Tennessee Titans (5-0)
    They keep plugging along

  3. (4)Dallas Cowboys (4-1)
    TO's not getting the ball enough, just ask him

  4. (5)Pittsburgh Steelers (4-1)
    Gutty win against the Jags

  5. (8)Washington Redskins (4-1)
    Have consistently looked good after week 1

  6. (6)Denver Broncos (4-1)
    They actually played some defense this week!

  7. (7)Carolina Panthers (4-1)
    They do everything well

  8. (3)Buffalo Bills (4-1)
    Really, we knew it couldn't last...

  9. (-)Chicago Bears (3-2)
    All this time Orton was the best QB in Chicago?

  10. (9)Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-2)
    Maybe Griese on the bench is the answer

Out of Top 10: (10)Philadelphia Eagles (2-3)

Teams on the Rise: Atlanta Falcons(3-2), Miami Dolphins (2-2)

ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Standings


Labels: ,

Monday, October 06, 2008

From The Onion:

Members Of Twisted Sister Now Willing To Take It

NEW YORK—In a stunning reversal of their long-stated reluctance to take it, members of heavy-metal band Twisted Sister announced Monday that, after 24 years of fervent refusal, they are now willing to take it. "I acknowledge that we promised not to take it anymore, but things change. The world is a different place today, and with that in mind, we would like to go on record as saying that, starting right now, we are going to take it," read a statement released by the band's lead singer, Dee Snider. "To clarify, we would still prefer not to take it, but as of now, taking it is an option that we would be open to. That is all." Bassist Mark "the Animal" Mendoza also stated that, in regards to what he wants to do with his life, he no longer solely wants to rock, but would instead prefer doing other things, such as raising a family and working as a claims adjuster in Rye, NY.


Saturday, October 04, 2008



Ben Folds to Collaborate with 'High Fidelity' Author

The workaholic singer-songwriter details plans to team up with acclaimed British novelist Nick Hornby on a joint musical venture.

By Larry Fitzmaurice 09.19.08 10:07 AM

With a new album and a long-awaited reunion you'd think Ben Folds would consider taking a much-deserved breather. Instead, the piano man is already plotting his next project -- a musical collaboration with High Fidelity author Nick Hornby.

"Nick Hornby and I are talking about doing a record where he writes all the lyrics and I write the music," Folds told [via]. "His lyrics are great. These are really good words." The duo plan to hit the studio this December in Ireland, a move that was inspired by Folds recording a 'fake' version (which leaked to the web) of his forthcoming solo album, Way To Normal, in the country this past summer. "[We will] write and record it in about three days, just like we did in Dublin with the fake record," Folds explained. "It's fun -- I'm excited about it."

The highlight of William Shatner's 2005 release, Has Been (produced by Folds), was the track "That's Me Trying." Shatner, with backing vocals by Folds and Aimee Mann, spoke his way through a wonderful piece of prose by Nick Hornby. The story of a father long estranged from his daughter and trying to reconnect with her in a very ham-handed way amazes me every time I hear it.

If this new project even approaches that track in quality, it will be a real treat.

I can't wait...


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The Bert Convey
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