Tuesday, November 30, 2010

 
Some guy on the net thinks I suck and he should know
He's got his own blog

I'm a loser
I'm a poser
Yeah really
It's over
I mean it and I quit
Everything I write is shit


Ben Folds
"Working Day"
Lonely Avenue

Labels:


Sunday, November 28, 2010

 

Fake Gambling Results - Week 12

  • PITTSBURGH (-7) [+105] at Buffalo: -$100

  • Carolina at Cleveland OVER (37.5) [-110]: +$50

  • Kansas City at SEATTLE (+2) [-105]: -$105

  • San Diego at INDIANAPOLIS (-3) [+105]: -$100







  • Week 12 Against the Spread: 0-3
    Week 12 Over/Unders: 1-0
    Week 12 Money Line: 0-0
    Week 12 Proposition bets: 0-0

    Season Against the Spread: 16-15-2
    Season Over/Unders: 5-3
    Season Money Line: 1-2
    Season Proposition Bets: 2-6
    Balance for Week 12: -$255
    Total Amount Remaining: $802.33


    BOJ

    Labels:


     
    The goal is 2,500 so I am going to stick to that. I feel like it is very realistic. People didn't think 2,000 was realistic when I set the goal last year and I made a lot of people believers, so I am going to stick to that.


    Chris Johnson
    Running Back
    Tennessee Titans

    Yards Through 11 Games: 973
    Yards Short of 2,500: 1,527
    Avg. to Reach 2,500: 305.4/game

    Labels:


    Saturday, November 27, 2010

     

    Fake Gambling - Week 12

  • PITTSBURGH (-7) [+105] at Buffalo: $100

  • Carolina at Cleveland OVER (37.5) [-110]: $55

  • Kansas City at SEATTLE (+2) [-105]: $105

  • San Diego at INDIANAPOLIS (-3) [+105]: $100













  • Week 12 Stake: $1057.33
    Week 12 Wagered: $360



    BOJ

    Labels:


    Thursday, November 25, 2010

     

    12 Obscure Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons from Years Past

    From The Onion A.V. Club:
    1. Eddie Cantor
    2. Uncle Sam
    3. The Marx Brothers
    4. Linus The Lionhearted
    5. Sinclair Oil dinosaur
    6. Olive Oyl
    7. Jeeves
    8. Sky Dancers
    9. Beethoven
    10. Baby Shamu
    11. Izzy
    12. Cheesasaurus Rex


    Other ones that would have been cool:
    • Courtney Love
    • Any Kardashian's Ass
    • The Hindenburg

    BOJ

    Labels:


    Wednesday, November 24, 2010

     

    NFL Composite Rankings - Week 11

    First place votes in parentheses
    RANK TEAM RECORD PTS PREVIOUS LAST WEEK
    1 Atlanta Falcons (2) 8-2 38 1 Defeated St Louis 34-17
    2 New England Patriots (1) 8-2 35 2t Defeated #5 Indianapolis 31-28
    3 New York Jets (1) 8-2 32 2t Defeated Houston 30-27
    4 Baltimore Ravens 7-3 26 4 Defeated Carolina 37-13
    5 New Orleans Saints 7-3 21 7t Defeated Seattle 34-19
    6 Philadelphia Eagles 7-3 20 7t Defeated #9 New York Giants 27-17
    7 Pittsburgh Steelers 7-3 19 6 Defeated Oakland 35-3
    8 Green Bay Packers 7-3 12 10 Defeated Minnesota 31-3
    9 Indianapolis Colts 6-4 11 5 Lost to #2t New England 28-31
    10 Chicago Bears 7-3 3 - Defeated Miami 16-0


    Also receiving votes: Tampa Bay (2), New York Giants (1)

    A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:

  • ESPN

  • Fox Sports

  • CBS Sports

  • Globex Corporation Newsletter


  • BOJ

    Labels:


     
    I've wasted half my life, Marge. You know how many memories I have? Three! Standing in line for a movie, having a key made, and sitting here talking to you.





    The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace
    [5F21]

    Labels:


    Tuesday, November 23, 2010

     
    She lived across the street on the fifteenth floor of the Gilmore building
    I saw her in the shower reaching for some soap
    I knew she had to be the girl for me
    And to think I probably never would have found her
    If I hadn't bought that telescope


    "Weird" Al Yankovic
    "Melanie"
    Even Worse

    Labels:


    Monday, November 22, 2010

     

    Fake Gambling Results - Week 11.2

  • DENVER [+320] at San Diego: -$50











  • Week 11.2 Against the Spread: 0-0
    Week 11.2 Over/Unders: 0-0
    Week 11.2 Money Line: 0-1
    Week 11.2 Proposition bets: 0-0

    Season Against the Spread: 16-12-2
    Season Over/Unders: 3-3
    Season Money Line: 1-2
    Season Proposition Bets: 2-6
    Balance for Week 11.2: -$50
    Total Amount Remaining: $1057.33


    BOJ

    Labels:


     
    The goal is 2,500 so I am going to stick to that. I feel like it is very realistic. People didn't think 2,000 was realistic when I set the goal last year and I made a lot of people believers, so I am going to stick to that.


    Chris Johnson
    Running Back
    Tennessee Titans

    Yards Through 10 Games: 968
    Yards Short of 2,500: 1,532
    Avg. to Reach 2,500: 255.3/game

    Labels:


     

    Fake Gambling - Week 11.2

    A flyer...

  • DENVER [+320] at San Diego: $50












  • Week 11.2 Stake: $1107.33
    Week 11.2 Wagered: $490



    BOJ

    Labels:


    Sunday, November 21, 2010

     

    Fake Gambling Results - Week 11.1

  • Baltimore (-11.5) [-105] at Carolina: +$100

  • Green Bay (-3) [-125] at Minnesota: +$100

  • Green Bay at Minnesota OVER (44) [-110]: -$55

  • Tampa Bay (+3) [+105] at San Francisco: +$105

  • New York Giants at Philadelphia (-3.5) [-105]: +$100













  • Week 11.1 Against the Spread: 4-0
    Week 11.1 Over/Unders: 0-1
    Week 11.1 Money Line: 0-0
    Week 11.1 Proposition bets: 0-0

    Season Against the Spread: 16-12-2
    Season Over/Unders: 3-3
    Season Money Line: 1-1
    Season Proposition Bets: 2-6
    Balance for Week 11.1: +$350
    Total Amount Remaining: $1107.33


    BOJ

    Labels:


    Saturday, November 20, 2010

     

    Fake Gambling - Week 11.1

  • Baltimore (-11.5) [-105] at Carolina: $105

  • Green Bay (-3) [-125] at Minnesota: $125

  • Green Bay at Minnesota OVER (44) [-110]: $55

  • Tampa Bay (+3) [+105] at San Francisco: $100

  • New York Giants at Philadelphia (-3.5) [-105]: $105









  • Week 11.1 Stake: $757.333
    Week 11.1 Wagered: $490



    BOJ

    Labels:


    Thursday, November 18, 2010

     

    Fake Gambling Results - Week 11.0

    NFL Proposition Specials!
  • Total TD Passes – Jay Cutler (CHI) UNDER (1.5) [-125]: +$16


  • Will Matt Forte (CHI) score a TD in the game? NO [-175]: -$17.50


  • Total Interceptions – Tyler Thigpen (MIA) UNDER (.5) [+195]: -$10


  • (CHI vs. MIA) Who will throw the first Interception in the game? JAY CUTLER [-105]: -$21











  • Week 11.0 Against the Spread: 0-0
    Week 11.0 Over/Unders: 0-0
    Week 11.0 Money Line: 0-0
    Week 11.0 Proposition bets: 1-3

    Season Against the Spread: 12-12-2
    Season Over/Unders: 3-2
    Season Money Line: 1-1
    Season Proposition Bets: 2-6
    Balance for Week 11.0: -$32.50
    Total Amount Remaining: $757.33


    BOJ

    Labels:


     

    Fake Gambling - Week 11.0

    NFL Proposition Specials!
  • Total TD Passes – Jay Cutler (CHI) UNDER (1.5) [-125]: $20


  • Will Matt Forte (CHI) score a TD in the game? NO [-175]: $17.50


  • Total Interceptions – Tyler Thigpen (MIA) UNDER (.5) [+195]: $10


  • (CHI vs. MIA) Who will throw the first Interception in the game? JAY CUTLER [-105]: $21








  • Week 11.0 Stake: $789.83
    Week 11.0 Wagered: $68.50



    BOJ

    Labels:


     

    Favorite Late Night Hosts

    1. Stephan Colbert
    2. Conan O'Brien
    3. David Letterman
    4. Craig Ferguson
    5. Jon Stewart
    6. Jimmy Fallon
    7. Jimmy Kimmel
    8. Jay Leno
    9. George Lopez
    10. Carson Daly

    ...and I think I've seriously over-rated Leno...

    BOJ

    Labels:


    Wednesday, November 17, 2010

     
    Remember what Vince Lombardi said: If you lose you're out of the family!





    Dead Putting Society
    [7F08]

    Labels:


    Tuesday, November 16, 2010

     

    NFL Composite Rankings - Week 10

    First place votes in parentheses
    RANK TEAM RECORD PTS PREVIOUS LAST WEEK
    1 Atlanta Falcons (2) 7-2 36 5 Defeated #1 Baltimore 26-21
    2t New England Patriots 7-2 33 6 Defeated #2t Pittsburgh 39-26
    2t New York Jets (1) 7-2 33 4 Defeated Cleveland 26-20 OT
    4 Baltimore Ravens 6-3 23 1 Lost to #5 Atlanta 21-26
    5 Indianapolis Colts 6-3 21 8 Defeated Cincinnati 23-17
    6 Pittsburgh Steelers 6-3 18 2t Lost to #6 New England 26-39
    7t New Orleans Saints (1) 6-3 17 7 BYE
    7t Philadelphia Eagles 6-3 17 9 Defeated Washington 59-28
    9 New York Giants 6-3 13 2t Lost to Dallas 33-20
    10 Green Bay Packers 6-3 8 10 BYE


    Also receiving votes: None

    A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:

  • ESPN

  • Fox Sports

  • CBS Sports

  • Globex Corporation Newsletter

  • BOJ

    Labels:


     
    Yeah I’m sorry, I can’t afford a ferrari,
    But that don’t mean I can’t get you there.
    I guess he’s an xbox and I’m more atari,
    But the way you play your game ain’t fair.

    I pity the fool that falls in love with you
    (oh shit she’s a gold digger)
    Well
    (just thought you should know nigga)
    Ooooooh
    I’ve got some news for you
    Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend


    Cee Lo Green
    "Fuck You"
    The Ladykiller

    Labels:


    Sunday, November 14, 2010

     

    Fake Gambling Results - Week 10.1

  • Detroit at Buffalo (-3) [+110]: -$100

  • New York Jets at Cleveland [+155] moneyline wager: -$50












  • Week 10.1 Against the Spread: 0-1
    Week 10.1 Over/Unders: 0-0
    Week 10.1 Money Line: 0-1
    Week 10.1 Proposition bets: 0-0

    Season Against the Spread: 12-12-2
    Season Over/Unders: 3-2
    Season Money Line: 1-1
    Season Proposition Bets: 1-3
    Balance for Week 10.1: -$150
    Total Amount Remaining: $789.83


    BOJ

    Labels:


    Saturday, November 13, 2010

     

    Fake Gambling - Week 10.1

  • Detroit at Buffalo (-3) [+110]: $100

  • New York Jets at Cleveland [+155] moneyline wager: $50










  • Week 10.1 Stake: $939.83
    Week 10.1 Wagered: $150



    BOJ

    Labels:


    Thursday, November 11, 2010

     

    Fake Gambling Results - Week 10.0

  • Baltimore (+1)[-115] at Atlanta: -$230











  • Week 10.0 Against the Spread: 0-1
    Week 10.0 Over/Unders: 0-0
    Week 10.0 Money Line: 0-0
    Week 10.0 Proposition bets: 0-0

    Season Against the Spread: 12-11-2
    Season Over/Unders: 3-2
    Season Money Line: 1-0
    Season Proposition Bets: 1-3
    Balance for Week 10.0: -$230
    Total Amount Remaining: $939.83


    BOJ

    Labels:


     

    Things/People That Have Delayed Me

  • The 14th Dalai Lama - After a speech at the Performing Arts Center in Long Beach, California, the Dalai Lama made an unscheduled stop-off at a Buddhist Monastery in my neighborhood. This made me late for work.

  • President Bill Clinton - Late one night while living in Iowa, I was delayed by a passing motorcade containing President Bill Clinton. After the motorcade passed, I continued on to my destination, a strip bar. I did not run into the President later that night.

  • Ally McBeal TV Shoot - Long Beach, CA, trying to get to work. I'd never even watched a whole episode of Ally McBeal.

  • President Gerald Ford - I just wanted to see my dad at the hospital, but Ford's people picked the Air Force Base we were living at to refuel Air Force One. He spoke for a bit, all of Rapid City, SD showed up to listen. Now they were all leaving at the same time.

  • Some Large Piece of an Oil Refinery - The joys of living in a refinery town! Of all of my delays, this was the furthest, as, being new to town and not knowing my way around, I drove over 20 miles out of my way to get to work that day.

  • President George W. Bush - Trying to leave a job interview in Denver, CO, I saw that my freeway entrance was blocked by Police. Being up on the news, I knew the President was in town, not knowing my way around Denver, I probably took the stupidest route possible back to Cheyenne.

  • A Nuclear Warhead - Growing up near lots of nuclear missiles, this one actually happened more than once. Funny thing about security around warhead convoys, they take it pretty seriously...

  • Honda Commercial Shoot - I just wanted to go get some groceries, but trucks and cables and people in the street forced me to drive blocks out of my way. Since this crap happened a lot in Long Beach, the novelty wore off quickly.

  • BOJ

    Labels:


    Wednesday, November 10, 2010

     

    Fake Gambling - Week 10.0

    It's 10.0 because I wanted in on the Thursday game but wanted to let the lines settle before wagering on the Sunday games...

  • Baltimore (+1)[-115] at Atlanta: $230









  • Week 10.0 Stake: $1169.83
    Week 10.0 Wagered: $230



    BOJ

    Labels:


     
    Union rule 26. "Every employee must win 'Worker of the Week' at least once, regardless of gross incompetence, obesity, or rank odor." Heh heh heh heh.





    Deep Space Homer
    [1F13]

    Labels:


    Tuesday, November 09, 2010

     

    NFL Composite Rankings - Week 9

    First place votes in parentheses
    RANK TEAM RECORD PTS PREVIOUS LAST WEEK
    1 Baltimore Ravens (2) 6-2 37 2 Defeated Miami 26-10
    2t New York Giants (2) 6-2 30 4t Defeated Seattle 41-7
    2t Pittsburgh Steelers 6-2 30 6 Defeated Cincinnati 27-21
    4 New York Jets 6-2 29 4t Defeated Detroit 23-20 OT
    5 Atlanta Falcons 6-2 26 7 Defeated Tampa Bay 27-21
    6 New England Patriots 6-2 20 1 Lost to Cleveland 14-34
    7 New Orleans Saints 6-3 16 8 Defeated Carolina 34-3
    8 Indianapolis Colts 5-3 14 3 Lost to Philadelphia 24-26
    9 Philadelphia Eagles 5-3 9 - Defeated Indianapolis 26-24
    10 Green Bay Packers 6-3 7 9t Defeated Dallas 45-7


    Also receiving votes: Tennessee Titans (2)

    A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:

  • ESPN

  • Fox Sports

  • CBS Sports

  • Globex Corporation Newsletter

  • BOJ

    Labels:


     
    I knew if I made it easy for you
    You'd settle for me, yeah eventually
    But Judy
    I won't be your bitch anymore
    And follow you 'round
    And hold the door


    Ben Folds
    "Give Judy My Notice"
    Songs For Silverman

    Labels:


    Sunday, November 07, 2010

     

    Fake Gambling Results - Week 9

  • NFL Proposition Special!
    Michael Vick – Total Passing Yards Week 9 vs Indianapolis OVER (220.5) [-115]: -$25

  • Chicago at Buffalo (+3) [-115]: PUSH

  • Indianapolis (+3) [-125] at Philadelphia: +$100

  • Indianapolis at Philadelphia OVER (46.5) [-110]: +$150









  • Week 9 Against the Spread: 1-0-1
    Week 9 Over/Unders: 1-0
    Week 9 Money Line: 0-0
    Week 9 Proposition bets: 0-1

    Season Against the Spread: 12-10-2
    Season Over/Unders: 3-2
    Season Money Line: 1-0
    Season Proposition Bets: 1-3
    Balance for Week 9: +$225
    Total Amount Remaining: $1,169.83


    BOJ

    Labels:


    Friday, November 05, 2010

     

    Fake Gambling - Week 9

  • NFL Proposition Special!
    Michael Vick – Total Passing Yards Week 9 vs Indianapolis OVER (220.5) [-115]: $25

  • Chicago at Buffalo (+3) [-115]: $115

  • Indianapolis (+3) [-125] at Philadelphia: $125

  • Indianapolis at Philadelphia OVER (46.5) [-110]: $165







  • Week 9 Stake: $944.83
    Week 9 Wagered: $430



    BOJ

    Labels:


    Thursday, November 04, 2010

     

    Favorite Intigers Between Positive One and Positive Ten (Inclusive)

    1. 1
    2. 2
    3. 3
    4. 4
    5. 5
    6. 6
    7. 7
    8. 8
    9. 9
    10. 10

    BOJ

    Labels:


    Wednesday, November 03, 2010

     
    See that ship over there? They're re-broadcasting Major League Baseball with implied oral consent, not express written consent -- or so the legend goes.





    Mansion Family
    [BABF08]

    Labels:


    Tuesday, November 02, 2010

     

    NFL Composite Rankings - Week 8

    First place votes in parentheses
    RANK TEAM RECORD PTS PREVIOUS LAST WEEK
    1 New England Patriots (4) 6-1 40 3 Defeated Minnesota 28-18
    2 Baltimore Ravens 5-2 31 4 BYE
    3 Indianapolis Colts 5-2 30 5 Defeated Houston 30-17
    4t New York Giants 5-2 24 7 BYE
    4t New York Jets 5-2 24 1 Lost to #10t Green Bay 0-9
    6 Pittsburgh Steelers 5-2 23 2 Lost to #9 New Orleans 10-20
    7 Atlanta Falcons 5-2 19 6 BYE
    8 New Orleans Saints 5-3 14 9 Defeated #2 Pittsburgh 20-10
    9t Green Bay Packers 5-3 5 10t Defeated #1 New York Jets 9-0
    9t Kansas City Chiefs 5-2 5 10t Defeated Buffalo 13-10 OT


    Also receiving votes: Tennessee Titans (3), Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2)

    A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:

  • ESPN

  • Fox Sports

  • CBS Sports

  • Globex Corporation Newsletter

  • BOJ

    Labels:


     
    Take a point called Z in the complex plane
    Let Z1 be Z squared plus C
    And Z2 is Z1 squared plus C
    And Z3 is Z2 squared plus C and so on
    If the series of Z's should always stay
    Close to Z and never trend away
    That point is in the Mandelbrot Set

    Mandelbrot Set you're a Rorschach Test on fire
    You're a day-glo pterodactyl
    You're a heart-shaped box of springs and wire
    You're one badass fucking fractal
    And you're just in time to save the day
    Sweeping all our fears away
    You can change the world in a tiny way


    Jonathan Coulton
    "Mandelbrot Set"
    Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow

    Labels:


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