Sunday, December 31, 2006


The Onion Radio News

Doyle Redland
With Doyle Redland

Typo Results In 10,000-Acre Wyoming Skate Park

Listen to the story here.

Wishing you many shreddings in the New Year from The Onion!





I should probably save this for the MBW, but since I missed that this week, and since I'm thinking about it now, here it comes....

I've been working in television in one form or another since 1989. With the exception of my first job at the mighty KDLT in Sioux Falls, every job has been a 24/7 operation. Three hundred sixty-five days a year. That includes every conceivable holiday.

My bitch has never been the hours or the days. I've always tended to work during primetime and on weekends. Hell, that's when people are watching TV, you would think that's when a broadcast operation would want its best people at the controls. For the most part, I think I've been one of those people in every job I've had in the industry.

My bitch is with management in general. Primarily that they're managing a broadcast operation and yet generally seem to act like things close up at 5pm, that everyone just goes home like a regular "9 to 5er." They act like no one is around on weekends or holidays.

Now this has its advantages as an employee, namely that you're able to just do your job and not be interfered with by idiots in suits. You do your job, you do it well, and no one is in your hair unless you do something wrong. I like that.

What I don't like is when, on Friday afternoon, some "9 to 5er" brings you some task that has been on their desk all week and wants it taken care of in the next fifteen minutes because they're going home in a few minutes. I'm not going home in a few minutes, I'll be here all weekend.

We have a little unofficial policy on our shift, not to go back to the prep area before 5pm, because this invariably happens. Someone, rushing out of their office for the weekend, drops something in your lap, doesn't explain it fully, and rushes out the door. Worse yet, you get a phone call, from corporate for something that is a "priority." I get priority, I work in a time-sensitive business. Priority does not mean do something immeediately just so someone else can get an early start on their weekend.

I sometimes take it personally when someone tells me "have a nice weekend" as they head out the door. It depends on who says it, of course. One of our own gets it, and I take it as "have a good weekend at work." Too may people, and this is everwhere I've ever worked, don't really understand that anyone, someone, you, aren't on your weekend, that anyone could possibly be in the facility between 5pm on Friday and 8am on Monday.

And holidays. Good lord, they can't fathom that anyone could possibly be working on, for example, New Year's Eve. And I understand that us 24/7 folks can be hard to deal with. When I worked for the state of South Dakota, the Governor would always, as a treat to employees, give us half the day off on Good Friday. It was a big secret and we'd find out sometime on Wednesday. Now, I appreciated the gesture, and I would get 4 hours off sometime, but since my position couldn't be left unattended and since we weren't allowed any overtime and since our work week ended at 4pm on Friday, it was a struggle to schedule everyone their time off. In the end, more trouble than it was worth. People who were not essential, genreally meaning they made lots more money than me (the recptionist made lots more money than me, and I did her job in addition to mine from 4pm to midnight) could just pack up and go home. Oh, they might shuffle their duties to get everything done, but they could go home.

Easter has always been a sticking point in general. It's a Holiday, a Holy-day, but since it always falls on a Sunday has never been in anyplace I worked a work holiday. Yet, I've almost always had to work it. A day that the "9 to 5ers" get to spend with their families, hopefully a special day, and I have to work and am compensated for it at the same rate as I would be for a Tuesday night in September.

And I could go on and on. On and on, but it's pointless. All of that said, my current employer is better than most on these issues. Better than any other I've had in that regard. I know I chose this business (or it wouldn't let me go), but a little regard by management would certainly be appreciated.



End of the Regular Season Fake Gambling Extravaganza!

OK, not so much an extravaganza as very average picks that I made when I can't sleep. I should really be in bed instead of making bad football picks, but the fake gambling gods work in mysterious ways:

  • Green Bay (+4) at Chicago - $100

  • Cleveland at Houston (-5) (Stations Line) - $200

  • Cleveland at Houston OVER (37.5) (Stations Line) - $100

  • Carolina at New Orleans (+2) - $200

  • BOJ's Week 17 Stake: $1600
    BOJ's Week 17 Wagered: $600

    Once again, I have no idea what I'm doing.....


    Friday, December 29, 2006


    Sue Foley Photo Friday

    Great album! Check out the
    cover of the Stone's Stupid Girl.....
    With every thing going on today, I nearly forgot about Sue Foley Photo Friday. How could that happen? It's the only thing I do here that really matters! Positive Tuesday? Big Deal! Mega-Bitch Wednesday? Who cares? This is Sue Foley Photo Friday we're talking about! Sue Foley Photo Friday!!

    I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do.....




    It's not the Snow so Much.....

    It started to snow here last night as we were having Christmas with my neices and great nephews who got to spend the holiday in Florida, all sick. Before you envy them too much, sounds like everyone there was sick, Aaires having to be cleared to fly because of a possible ear infection and possible pnemonia. Sounds like it's not pnemonia and the little guy had a ton of energy last night, though not much interest in opening presents. Julian seemed to really enjoy the Duplo blocks I gave him. Kids seem to just know how those things work. He got lots of stuff that he can build things with, so his creative needs will be fulfilled.

    I checked the weather first thing this morning. We had a bit of snow on the ground here, thought the snow has stopped. I checked the road conditions as well. I-25 is closed south of Wheatland at this writing, so I'm not going anywhere right now. Have to call work and let them know that I won't be in, though Jason and I have been emailing a little bit as there's some odd timecard irregularities because they've changed their minds on how they're handling the last major snow event.

    So sometime tonight, or very early tomorrow, I'll be hitting the road and heading back to Cheyenne. Not much I can do here except hang out with sick kids and play with Duplo blocks. I've had worse times being snowed in......


    Wednesday, December 27, 2006


    Haven't Written One of These in a While....

    It was a busy night down at Dunn Bros., just like I remember it being. With my sister in tow, I showed up a little before 7pm. Mike was already on stage as we found a seat. I was almost immediately asked on stage by Mike and we went through a couple of tunes, Neil Young's Heart of Gold, Toad the Wet Sprocket's Walk on the Ocean and finishing up with a Gypsy Kings inspired version of the Eagle's Hotel California. Suprisingly, I remember most of my harmonica parts, all of the lyrics and some of how I sang harmonies on each of these tunes. Mike and I made a practice tape for me to work on harmonies with, and I will occasionally play it while driving, so most of it was pretty fresh to me even though we hadn't played together in about a year.

    A couple other people played, and then I got my chance. They're down to 10 minute sets at Dunn Bros. now, which worked out fine for me. I started out with Wall Drug, then went on to Great Guy which I actually remembered most of the words to, and while I mentioned that there are now alternate lyrics, I didn't play them, deciding that they are definitely not fair, and I'm much more of a "great guy" than the person I wrote those particular lyrics about. Finished up with In My Hand another relationship song, another song based on a true story, or at least a real conversation. joined by Mike on bass. Actually, Mike added some bass to Great Guy as well.

    Arnie, who actually works with 5-55 who inspired the song, asked if I could send him the lyrics and "cowboy chords" above the words, what ever that means. Since I wrote it, it's pretty easy to play, having just 5 chords in the song, I'm sure Arnie, who's a much better guitar player than myself can make something good out of it.

    Ran into some folks, got to see some folks play, that I hadn't seen or talked to in quite a while. I remember what a huge part of my life this little Wednesday night get together used to be, how much blog space has been devoted to it. It's a special event, something that's great and cheap for an unemployed, inferior songwriter to do. I miss it a lot.

    My days off change this coming week, and while this will allow me to play some of the open mics in Ft. Collins, it will never be the same. It will never be just running down the hill and jumping on stage with people I know. It will be playing in front of people I don't know, which is its own rush.

    Or maybe I'll just stick to playing in the front yard during cookouts or heading out to the park and frightening children.....



    Great Americans


    A couple of years ago, and I think it was about this time of the year, two American icons died a day apart. First was Ronald Reagan. Fox News went freakin' hog wild. If you watched nothing but Fox News at that time (and I fear some people did and still do) you'd believe that Ronald Reagan was the greatest human being who ever graced the earth. Eh. Not my cup of tea. I understand his importance as President of our country. His first term was pretty good, but he spent this country into a great defecit, that his protege, George H.W. Bush continued. But the Soviet empire fell under his watch, unable to keep up with the massive military build up of his presidency.

    The next day, we lost Ray Charles. Ray freakin' Charles. He probably didn't have as much world impact as Ronald Wilson Reagan, but we're talkling about Ray Charles here! Ray Charles. We should have had a national day of mourning. He was Ray Charles, a man that meant a a lot more to me personally than a mere President of the United States ever could. I feel somewhat vindicated that a movie aboout the life of Ray Charles was a box office sensation, a similar movie about Ronald Reagan would probably get great ratings on Fox News, but probabl nowhere else.

    A similar thing happened this year. On Christmas day we lost James Brown, the man who taught me that Papa did in fact have a brand new bag, who implored me (well, probably not me) to get on the scene with the sex machine. Oh, I could make these little James Brown lyric jokes all day. The Godfather of Soul. James had some legal troubles, seemed to like his PCP, but he was undeniably a musical genius.

    Yesterday we lost Gerald Ford. While I regretted the loss of Ray Charles (musician) more than the loss of Ronald Reagan (US President) more, the opposite is true this time. Yes, I regret the loss of James Brown, but I think Gerald Ford is a terribly underrated figure in American politics, and not just because he was Michigan Football MVP in '34.

    Gerald Ford became President of our country under horrible circumstances, circumstances that he could just as easily have stayed out of. He didn't have to accept the Vice Presidency under Richard Nixon, if he hadn't he wouldn't have become President when Nixon resigned. And he probably would have continued on with his promising political career.

    But this country needed a man like Gerald Ford when Gerald Ford became President. A man of great integrity, a man who cared greatly for this country, more than he cared for his own politiclal aspirations. A man who ended a war in Vietnam, a man who realized the need to pardon a disgraced President to aid in the healing of his country. Yes, I think Nixon should have been made to pay for what he'd done, but I certainly understand that the country needed to leave all of that behind. It pains me to say it, it took me decades to realize it, but Ford made the correct decision.

    I once put Gerald Ford on my All-Presidential Basketball team as my sixth man, a man who was able to come off the bench unexpectedly and perform admirably. That's the way I think of Gerald Ford, the right man at the right time.

    One more thing about Gerald Ford. Ford was on the Warren Comission investigating the assassination of John Kennedy. The Warren Comission found the Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. Gerald Ford confirmed that decision may times later in his life. If Gerald Ford says that Oswald acted alone, that's good enough for me. Get over it you conspiracy nuts!


    Tuesday, December 26, 2006


    BOJ is Time Magazine's Person of the Year

    I Finally Got It!!!
    I saw an old cartoon years ago where a man was sitting dejectedly in his chair holding a copy of Time magazine. His wife looks at him and says, "Well, maybe if you get out of the house more, you can be Time's Man of the Year next year....."

    Folks, I probably got out of the house less than I ever had in my life. Still, I'm Time's Person of the Year. So are you. It's great, but somehow I feel ripped off. Then again, when I'm named Time's Person of the Year in 2010 for that great relationship song that I write that will teach us all how to love again or some other bullshit, then I can say I was Time's Person of the Year twice.

    One down, one to go.


    Monday, December 25, 2006


    Fake Gambling Results Week 16

    My sister is attractive. She was even mistaken for my girlfriend this past summer. The idea of kissing her isn't my idea of fun though.

    They say ties are like kissing your cousin. It's a second straight tie week in the fake gambling world. I'm not complaining, but winning would have been so much cooler, fake money or not......

  • Kansas City 20 at Oakland 9 UNDER (36) +$100

  • Kansas City (-7) 20 at Oakland 9 +$100

  • New Orleans (+3) 30 at New York Giants 7 + $100

  • Baltimore 31 at Pittsburgh (-3) 7 -$100

  • Chicago 26 at Detroit 21 UNDER (42) -$100

  • Cincinnati 23 at Denver (-3) 24 -$100

  • Cincinnati 23 at Denver 24 UNDER (44.5) -$100

  • Philadelphia (+7) 23 at Dallas 7 +$100

  • Week 16 Against the Spread: 3-2
    Week 16 Over/Unders: 1-2

    BOJ Season Against the Spread: 29-24-1
    BOJ Season Over/Unders: 9-8-1
    BOJ Balance for Week 16: $0
    BOJ Total Amount Remaining: $1600

    First things first. I intended to takt eh OVER in the KC/Oakland game. Look at the post, I'm arguing how an UNDER just can't occur. Oops. Worked out in my favor, though.

    The other biggie, the Bengals at Broncos. I was :41 seconds from this one coming in. Forty-one seconds. A meaningless TD by the bad guys (because of the missed extra point) screwing up not only the o/u, but the spread as well. I should give myself the $200 on principle.

    I'd like to get a nice lead going into the playoffs. Actually, in my real and fake gambling lives, I've never bet on playoff football. Looking forward to it, but would like the funds to do it right.



    Back in the RC

    The trip was good yesterday. Weather out of Cheyenne and I drove in worse conditions than I expected. Their was a lot of blowing snow during the first part of the trip, we had lots of snow in the area. There was also a little bit of snow coming out of the sky. At a small town by the name of Meriden (really just a wide spot in the road with a Post Office) I had lost enough elevation for the snow to turn to liquid, a few miles north of there I got out from under the weather completely.

    By the time I got to Lusk there was no snow on the ground, the rest of the trip warm and dry. The weather is nice here. Considering the snow in Cheyenne last week, I'm quite happy to report that I did not have a white Christmas.


    Saturday, December 23, 2006


    The Return of Fake Gambling

    Picks for week 16:

  • Kansas City at Oakland UNDER (36) - $100

  • Kansas City (-7) at Oakland - $100

  • New Orleans (+3) at New York Giants - $100

  • Baltimore at Pittsburgh (-3) - $100

  • Chicago at Detroit UNDER (42) - $100

  • Cincinnati at Denver (-3) -$100

  • Cincinnati at Denver UNDER (44.5) - $100

  • Philadelphia (+7) at Dallas - $100

  • BOJ's Week 16 Stake: $1600
    BOJ's Week 14 Wagered: $800

    Three unders this week. KC hasn't been scoring much lately and the Raiders play pretty good D, but the Chiefs just have too much firepower and 36 points is just way too low. Chicago plays good D, the Lions don't do anything well. Under 42? Seems like a safe bet to me. Yes, the Bengals can play offense, but Carson Palmer may be hiding a torn rotator cuff, it's going to be cold and nasty in Denver and the Broncos can still play pretty good defense. And teams seem to be stupid enough to throw in the direction of Champ Bailey. I'll go under 44 and a half.

    Other picks aren't any good. I don't know what I'm doing.

    No sign of Jason. He's only a little over $100 down, they probably wouldn't whack him over that piddly amount....

    AN ASS

    Friday, December 22, 2006


    The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl Final Statistics

    A memorable game....
    Brigham Young Passing
    John Beck 28/46 375 8.2 2 2
    Team 28/47 375 8.0 -- --

    Oregon Passing
    Dennis Dixon 10/20 122 6.1 1 1
    Brady Leaf 6/14 44 3.1 0 1
    Team 16/34 166 4.9 -- --

    Brigham Young Rushing
    Curtis Brown 17 120 7.1 2 47
    John Beck 6 26 4.3 1 13
    Manase Tonga 4 21 5.3 0 10
    Fui Vakapuna 2 3 1.5 0 3
    Nathan Meikle 2 3 1.5 0 2
    Team 31 173 5.6 -- --

    Oregon Rushing
    Dennis Dixon 10 51 5.1 0 18
    Jeremiah Johnson 6 41 6.8 0 25
    Jonathan Stewart 7 21 3.0 0 14
    Brady Leaf 7 -19 -2.7 0 7
    Team 30 94 3.1 -- --

    Brigham Young Receiving
    Jonny Harline 9 181 20.1 1 41
    Curtis Brown 7 55 7.9 0 14
    Manase Tonga 4 52 13.0 1 18
    McKay Jacobson 2 26 13.0 0 19
    Michael Reed 2 14 7.0 0 13
    Zac Collie 2 10 5.0 0 5
    Matt Allen 1 34 34.0 0 34
    Fui Vakapuna 1 3 3.0 0 3
    Team 28 375 8.0 -- --

    Oregon Receiving
    Jordan Kent 5 33 6.6 0 8
    Jeremiah Johnson 3 25 8.3 0 12
    Ed Dickson 2 20 10.0 0 12
    Brian Paysinger 1 47 47.0 1 47
    Dante Rosario 1 12 12.0 0 12
    Jonathan Stewart 1 9 9.0 0 9
    Garren Strong 1 8 8.0 0 8
    James Finley 1 7 7.0 0 7
    Cameron Colvin 1 5 5.0 0 5
    Team 16 166 4.9 -- --

    Brigham Young Kickoff Returns
    Andrew George 1 -1 -1.0 0 0
    Team 1 -1 -1.0 -- --

    Oregon Kickoff Returns
    Jonathan Stewart 5 117 23.4 47 0
    Team 5 117 23.4 -- --

    Brigham Young Punt Returns
    Nathan Meikle 3 17 5.7 9 0
    Team 3 17 5.7 -- --

    Oregon Punt Returns
    Patrick Chung 3 54 18.0 31 0
    Team 3 54 18.0 -- --

    Brigham Young Punting
    Derek McLaughlin 4 173 43.3 52
    Team 4 173 43.3 --

    Oregon Punting
    Aaron Knowles 7 276 39.4 51
    Team 7 276 39.4 --
    ATTENDANCE: 44,615


    Sue Foley Photo Friday

    Now That's a Good Photo!
    I may be AN ASS, but I still live for Sue Foley Photo Friday!!! It's still my favorite day of the week. It's a beautiful thing, people.

    AN ASS


    Thursday, December 21, 2006


    Flying High

    BYU rolls up 550 yards in The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl rout of Oregon

    Another Magical The Globex
    Corporation Presents the
    BOJ News Service Bowl
    is Put
    to Rest....
    LAS VEGAS (AP) -- Brigham Young quarterback John Beck stood on the podium above a throng of blue-clad fans so dense that the green field was barely visible.

    After five years of frustration and a decade of postseason futility, BYU finally had something to celebrate.

    Beck passed for 375 yards and two touchdowns, leading the No. 19 Cougars to a 38-8 victory over Oregon on Thursday night in The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl.

    "To be able to be on top right now just feels great. This is where you're supposed to be," the senior quarterback said.

    BYU's Curtis Brown rushed for 118 yards
    (on 17 carries) and 2 TDs in the Cougars'
    38-8 blowout win in the Las Vegas Bowl.

    Ethan Miller/Getty Images
    "When you step on campus and you dream, you dream about this. You dream about being conference champions. You dream about being bowl champions. Our dream has been fulfilled."


    BYU (11-2) closed the season with 10 straight victories, capping the streak with its first bowl victory since the 1996 season.

    Beck got plenty of help. Curtis Brown ran for 120 yards and two TDs, Jonny Harline, voted game MVP, caught nine passes for 181 yards and Justin Robinson intercepted two passes for BYU, which shut out the Ducks (7-6) through three quarters.

    Beck, Brown, Harline and Robinson were all playing their final game for the Cougars.

    "This class has always been a class of dreamers," Beck said.

    BYU hadn't had a winning season since going 12-2 in 2001.

    Oregon lost its fourth in a row and was never close after BYU scored 17 points in the second quarter. The Ducks had just 120 yards of offense through three quarters and didn't score until Brian Paysinger caught a 47-yard pass from Dennis Dixon with 10:27 left in the game. The Ducks added a two-point conversion, but that still only cut the lead to 31-8.

    If Oregon was thinking about a miracle comeback, it didn't last long.

    BYU recovered the ensuing onside kick and scored 1:13 later on a 17-yard pass from Beck to Manase Tonga. Beck also ran for a 13-yard score that put BYU ahead 31-0 early in the fourth quarter.

    Cougars fans who packed Sam Boyd Stadium with a record crowd of 44,615 stormed the field after the final play in celebration of the BYU blowout.

    The Cougars had lost four straight bowl games, since beating Kansas State 19-15 in the Cotton Bowl on Jan. 1, 1997.

    Oregon tried rotating quarterbacks again with Brady Leaf making his second career start and the quicker Dixon coming in to give the BYU defense a different look. It didn't work.

    The Ducks allowed two sacks on their first series and Leaf and Dixon combined to throw for 166 yards. Both threw an interception and Oregon finished with 260 yards of offense and lost its fourth straight bowl game.

    "I'm disappointed. I'm shocked," Oregon coach Mike Bellotti said. "We didn't play well. We got outplayed, outcoached."

    It was the largest crowd in stadium history, breaking the previous high of 42,075 fans for UNLV's game against Wisconsin in 2002, and the fans were nearly all wearing BYU dark blue. During the postgame trophy presentation, they chanted "B-Y-U!"

    Beck, the second leading passer in school history, stood on the podium with Brown -- BYU's all-time leading rusher and led the fans in the BYU fight song.

    "I couldn't think of a more fitting ending," said BYU coach Bronco Mendenhall, who has turned around BYU in just two seasons since taking over after Gary Crowton's resignation in 2004.

    Crowton, now Oregon's offensive coordinator, witnessed many of the players he brought to Provo playing like the BYU greats of the past.

    "This is the next step in our evolution to being a great program," Mendenhall said.

    Beck started slowly with four passes dropped by receivers. Beck started focusing more on Harline and it paid off with a field goal and two touchdowns in the second quarter.

    "When you give him time, he's a very good QB," Bellotti said. "Beck found his receivers. He made the plays."

    Beck and Harline connected on a 41-yard pass in the second quarter that put BYU ahead 17-0, then Brown scored on a 4-yard run just before halftime and BYU led 24-0.

    Harline's one-handed grab for 18 yards helped set up the game's first touchdown.

    "I try not to count how many yards and catches I have," he said. "I don't know what to expect. You never know when the ball is coming your way."


    Pointless News Cycles

    Who cares about this crap?
    Apparently everyone at FOX News....
    So I'm flipping around the cable news networks, the news junkie that I am. CNN and Fox are basically going with this story:

    Donald Trump Tells FNC: 'Rosie O'Donnell's a Loser'

    NEW YORK — Donald Trump blasted "The View" co-host Rosie O'Donnell on FOX News Channel Thursday, calling her "unattractive" and suggesting "maybe she's jealous that Miss USA likes me and doesn't like her."

    "Rosie's a loser, and somebody has to fight back," Trump said. "I really like Barbara Walters. Believe me — Barbara Walters, in my opinion, rues the day that she put that animal on her show because that show will go down the tubes. You watch."

    O'Donnell responded on "The View" Thursday to Trump's disparaging comments by bringing her girlfriend, Kelly, on the air: "I was afraid to leave her at home in case someone with a comb-over came and stole her from me.

    "Frankly, here's my comment to him," O'Donnell added, making a sour face.

    "It's a slow news week, I think, because FOX News is all over my ass," added co-host Joy Behar. "Now I consider that a compliment. That's like being on Nixon's enemies list."

    Earlier on FOX News, Trump said he'd sue O'Donnell.

    "I guarantee I'll have a lot of Rosie's money right out of her big fat pocket, I'll have a lot of Rosie's money coming into my pocket," Trump said. "That's my prediction."

    On "The View" Wednesday, O'Donnell said Trump's news conference with Miss USA Tara Conner had annoyed her "on a multitude of levels." Trump decided to give Conner a second chance after she was accused of underage drinking and using drugs.

    "Left the first wife, had an affair, left the second wife, had an affair. Had kids both times, but he's the moral compass for 20-year-olds in America," the comedian and actress said to roars of audience laughter. "Donald, sit and spin, my friend."

    • She Said, He Said: Name-Calling the Rosie and Donald Way

    Trump lashed back at O'Donnell on several entertainment shows.

    "Rosie is somebody out of control who really just doesn't have it," Trump said in an interview on Access Hollywood's Web site. "And she ought to be careful cause I'll send one of my friends to pick up her girlfriend, and I think it would be very easy."

    On the TV entertainment show "The Insider," he criticized everything from her looks to her former television talk show and magazine.

    "Rosie attacks me personally? I know her fairly well because her show failed. She didn't retire. She didn't get the ratings! Her magazine called 'Rosie' was a total disaster," he said.

    "She's out of her mind. I will probably sue Rosie for a number of reasons. I'm worth a lot of money. She doesn't tell the facts," he added.

    In an interview with the TV entertainment show "Extra," O'Donnell blasted the Trump-Conner news conference as a publicity stunt, declaring, “I think everything that Donald does is a ploy to promote the Trump business. That’s the bottom line. I don’t think he really cares about this young girl.”

    She continued, “I just think he’s [Trump] a hot bag of wind, frankly, with bad hair.”

    Added Behar: “She’s saying watching him on television is like eating at Taco Bell.”

    "The View" executive producers, Bill Geddie and Barbara Walters (who called in from vacation), issued this statement:

    "Both Rosie and Donald are high-spirited, opinionated people. Donald has been a friend of "The View" for many years and Rosie, of course, is our enormously popular moderator. We cherish them both and hope the new year brings calm and peace."

    Fox went so far as to have a "roundtable" discussion on the topic. Will the Donald sue Rosie, etc. etc. etc. Hey important stuff, stuff America is burning to know.

    CNN then broke the following story:

    Marine faces murder charges in Haditha killings

    WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A Marine sergeant has been charged with 13 counts of murder in the killings of unarmed civilians in Haditha,
    Iraq, one of his defense lawyers said on Thursday.

    Mark Zaid, an attorney for Staff Sgt. Frank Wuterich, said the charges served against his client do not allege premeditated murder and carry a maximum penalty of life in prison. Zaid other Marines investigated in the case had yet to receive word from the military on any possible charges.

    Obviously not nearly as important as the Trump/O'Donnell feud. So unimportant, in fact, that FOX STILL hasn't even mentioned the story.

    I'm not one of these people dead set against the war. I don't assume that this Marine is instantly guilty. It IS newsworthy, much more newsworthy than a pissiing match between two celebrities over the Miss USA pagent.

    Our society is doomed.

    AN ASS

    Wednesday, December 20, 2006


    The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl Preview

    Tomorrow is the BIG Day!
    Quarterback John Beck and Brigham Young should have enough motivation to overcome the malaise that accompanies nearly a one-month layoff between their regular-season finale and bowl appearance.

    The 19th-ranked Cougars look to channel that emotion when they play in The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl for a second straight season to face Oregon on Dec. 21 at Sam Boyd Stadium.

    After leading a last-second victory that enabled BYU (10-2) to end the regular season with a nine-game win streak and its first Mountain West title since 2001, Beck returns to the site where last season ended with a loss on a costly interception.

    As the Cougars seek to end a four-game bowl losing streak and record their first postseason victory in 10 years, Beck will oppose the person who brought he and coach Bronco Mendenhall to BYU. Oregon offensive coordinator Gary Crowton, who coached BYU from 2001-04 before he was forced out, recruited and coached Beck and hired Mendenhall as his defensive coordinator in 2003.

    "I have the deepest respect for coach Crowton," Mendenhall said. "He is a dear friend and I am grateful for the opportunities he has provided me throughout my coaching career."

    Beck's development is reflected in his comeback attempts in this bowl game last year, as well as his most recent performance.

    The 25-year-old senior completed a 75-yard drive in a 1:01 span with an 11-yard scoring pass to tight end Jonny Harline as time expired to give BYU a 33-31 win at Utah on Nov. 25.

    Despite setting The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl for completions (35), attempts (53) and passing yards (353) last year, Beck could not lead the Cougars all the way back from a 21-point deficit in the fourth quarter as they lost 35-28 to California. BYU had a chance to tie the game with the ball near midfield, but Beck's arm was hit as he attempted a pass and the ball was intercepted with 1:25 to play.

    The Mountain West offensive player of the year has reduced his interceptions from 13 to six this season. Beck completed more than 70 percent of his passes while finishing among the country's top 10 in passing yardage (3,510) and touchdown passes (30).

    "He's a great quarterback and will be measured with the greats here," BYU coach Bronco Mendenhall said of Beck, who threw for at least 247 yards in each of his 12 starts.

    He will oppose a Ducks defense that allowed an average of 34 points and nearly 350 total yards during a three-game losing streak to close the regular season. However, Oregon did finish with the best pass defense in the Pac-10, allowing 156.7 yards per game.

    The Ducks (7-5) are looking to avoid a fourth straight loss overall and in bowl games. They haven't won one since beating Colorado 38-16 in the Fiesta Bowl five years ago. Their only appearance in The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl - in its 15th year of existence - was a 41-13 rout of Air Force in 1997.

    Eliminating turnovers could be a key for Oregon, which tied for the ninth-most giveaways in Division I-A with 30. Eighteen of those turnovers came in the team's five losses.

    "We talk about possession of the football as more than nine-tenths of the law," Oregon coach Mike Bellotti said. "In this case, it's the whole deal."

    While both teams have high-scoring offenses - BYU is ranked sixth in Division I-A with a 36.7 scoring average and Oregon is 17th at 31.3 - the Ducks' quarterback situation is unsettled.

    After Dennis Dixon struggled with six total interceptions and no more than 130 yards in his last three games, Brady Leaf made his first start in the regular-season finale at Oregon State.

    Leaf completed 25 of 42 passes for 274 yards with a touchdown and an interception, but the Ducks allowed a go-ahead field goal with 1:12 left and their 44-yard attempt 40 seconds later was blocked as they lost 30-28. Dixon did not play.

    Both quarterbacks played in Oregon's 17-14 defeat to Oklahoma in last year's Holiday Bowl when Leaf, the brother of former San Diego Chargers quarterback Ryan Leaf, threw an interception at the 10-yard line with 33 seconds left.

    "We've just got to make sure we cut down on our turnovers," Oregon center Enoka Lucas said, "make sure we keep the ball in our hands."

    Running back Jonathan Stewart has provided some stability for the Ducks offense. The sophomore had a career-high three touchdowns against Oregon State, giving him 10 for the season, and finished with 960 yards rushing.

    "They run the ball extremely well, they pass the ball," BYU linebacker Cameron Jensen said. "So we know we're going to have to be sound in our run and pass defense."

    The Ducks lead the all-time series 3-2 and won the last meeting, 32-16 in 1990.

    And yet more....

    Even if you have only a passing interest in college football, there will be no mistaking BYU and Oregon when they take the field for the 15th annual The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl.

    Although their uniforms have undergone countless changes in the past decade, the BYU Cougars' uniforms look basically identical to the version they wore during the three decades that LaVell Edwards paced the team's sidelines.

    BYU's uniform is composed of a white helmet, blue jersey and white pants for home games and white helmet, white jersey and blue pants for road games. (The Cougars will be the visiting team in this year's The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl.)

    Then there are the Oregon Ducks.

    When it came time to draw up the Ducks' threads, uniform supplier Nike apparently gave its design crew free rein — and the designers abused the privilege. Oregon’s 2006 ensemble features four different colors of jerseys and pants — green, yellow, black and white — and three different helmets. That affords the fashion-conscious Ducks a total of 48 uniform combinations.

    Oregon's latest uniforms are the result of a two-year collaboration between Nike and a committee of the school's past and present players. That committee included former Western High standout and Oregon tight end Tim Day.

    - Brian Hilderbrand

    Bowl chief's happy memories

    She's the hardest-working woman in the bowl business, and it's not just because Tina Kunzer-Murphy is the only female serving as an executive director of a bowl game.

    In fact, the head of The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl had to take some time out of her busy schedule to put together a list of her most memorable The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowls.

    1. 2005: California 35, Brigham Young 28

    There was an electric atmosphere on an unseasonably warm night as we enjoyed our first sold-out game.

    2. 2004: Wyoming 24, UCLA 21

    Wyoming Coach Joe Glenn, his team and its great fans who showed up in droves, lit up the town and upset the heavily favored Bruins. Coach Glenn could not get up on the stage at midfield after the game for the trophy presentation so he grabbed the pants leg of An Ass, who was representing our title sponsor, for assistance. The Globex Corporation immediately renewed its sponsorship.

    3. 2000: UNLV 31, Arkansas 14

    John Robinson's hometown Rebels improved to 2-0 in the bowl after shocking the only Southeast Conference school ever to play in our game.

    4. 1992: Bowling Green 35, Nevada-Reno 34

    The inaugural game, featuring conference champions from the Big West and the Mid-American Conference, was a hit as the national media called it the most exciting game of the bowl season.

    5. 1995: Toledo 40, Nevada-Reno 37

    The first overtime game in NCAA Division I-A history also was the highest-scoring Las Vegas Bowl ever.

    6. 1994: UNLV 52, Central Michigan 24

    Jeff Horton's first year at UNLV and the Rebels' first bowl win since they went to the California Raisin Bowl in 1984.

    7. 2001: Utah 10, Southern Cal 6

    Holding the game on Christmas Day on ABC meant most of the country was sitting home watching Ron McBride and the Utes' defense get the best of Carson Palmer and Pete Carroll .

    8. 1999: Utah 17, Fresno State 15

    Mike Anderson rushed for 254 yards and two touchdowns, great memories of a great game.

    Honorable mentions:

    # Deacon Jones speaking at the 2002 The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl, was smoking profusely before he got up and announced to the crowd, made up mostly of players, that he hated quarterbacks and he was there to represent all the big guys in football. The crowd went crazy.

    # Listening to the great Walter Payton speaking at our kickoff luncheon at Caesars Palace in 1997, the last time Oregon played in our bowl game. Sweetness was awesome.

    Kicking her way into the history book

    During the 2002 The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl at Sam Boyd Stadium, I remember the New Mexico kicker trotting onto the field to attempt the extra point following the Lobos' first touchdown against UCLA.

    He looked like any other kicker, except for the flowing blond ponytail extending from under his helmet, which from behind, made him look like Fabio, at least from the shoulder pads up.

    "Hey, look at the New Mexico kicker," I overheard a guy in the stands tell his buddy. "He looks just like a girl."

    The PAT was blocked. Then the scoreboard replay showed the discouraged New Mexico kicker up close and personal.

    Turns out it was a girl.

    That was the day Katie Hnida made history by becoming the first female to play in a Division I-A football game.

    The next season, she made two extra points against Texas State to become the first woman to score in a Division I game. Her shoes and uniform from that game are on display at the College Football Hall of Fame.

    - Ron Kantowski

    Passing into Canadian history

    In leading Utah State to a 42-33 victory over Ball State in 1993, Anthony Calvillo become the Most Valuable Player of The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl II and persona non grata as far as David Letterman, a proud Ball State alum, is concerned.

    But in the 13 years that have passed between then and now, Calvillo went on to distinguish himself as one of the most prolific passers in Canadian Football League history - despite beginning his CFL career with the defunct Las Vegas Posse in 1994.

    In 2004, the Los Angeles native became just the fourth CFL quarterback to pass for more than 6,000 yards in a single season, joining a short list topped by Doug Flutie. He led the Montreal Alouettes to their first Grey Cup - the CFL Super Bowl - in 25 years in 2002 and the following year was named the league's Most Outstanding Player when he completed 408 of 675 passes for 5,891 yards and 37 touchdowns.

    Calvillo completed 154 of 348 passes for 2,580 yards as a member of the short-lived Posse. In addition to adjusting to 12-man defenses, he also had to endure Tamarick Vanover as a teammate and Posse coach Ron Meyer taking his shirt off to work on his suntan during practice.

    Final scores, MVPs

    Dec. 18, 1992 - Bowling Green 35, Nevada 34

    Erik White, Bowling Green, quarterback

    Dec. 17, 1993 - Utah State 42, Ball State 33

    Anthony Calvillo, Utah State, quarterback

    Dec. 15, 1994 - UNLV 52, Central Michigan 24

    Henry Bailey, UNLV, wide receiver

    Dec. 14, 1995 - Toledo 40, Nevada 37 (OT)

    Wasean Tait, Toledo, running back

    Dec. 18, 1996 - Nevada 18, Ball State 15

    Mike Crawford, Nevada, linebacker

    Dec. 20, 1997 - Oregon 41, Air Force 13

    Pat Johnson, Oregon, wide receiver

    Dec. 19, 1998 - North Carolina 20, San Diego St. 13

    Ronald Curry, North Carolina, quarterback

    Dec. 18, 1999 - Utah 17, Fresno State 16

    Mike Anderson, Utah, running back

    Dec. 21, 2000 - UNLV 31, Arkansas 14

    Jason Thomas, UNLV, quarterback

    Dec. 25, 2001 - Utah 10, Southern California 6

    Dameon Hunter, Utah, running back

    Dec. 25, 2002 - UCLA 27, New Mexico 13

    Craig Bragg, UCLA, wide receiver

    Dec. 24, 2003 - Oregon State 55, New Mexico 14

    Steven Jackson, Oregon State, running back

    Dec. 23, 2004 - Wyoming 24, UCLA 21

    Corey Bramlet, Wyoming, quarterback

    Dec. 22, 2005 - California 35, BYU 28

    Marshawn Lynch, California, running back

    AN ASS


    Gun Shy on the MBW

    This will lack the intensity of my regular MBW posts, but I'm a little guy shy after last week's effort. Wrote an MBW previous to this one. Didn't even use my own words, it was just a dictionary definition and the lyrics from a Ben Folds song. But then I decided I couldn't post that and it sits in the drafts section of this blog, waiting for me to delete it.

    I've written a lot of stuff this week that I couldn't show to anyone. Emails, songs, blog posts, stuff that no one will ever see. I could stop blogging but I couldn't stop writing. Could never stop writing, could never stop being an ass. I guess not enough of an ass to say the things I really want to say. Or maybe just a coward.

    AN ASS

    Tuesday, December 19, 2006


    I Am an Ass

    Note - Generally these notes don't go well, but here I go again. You think at some point I'd learn.

    I know I said I'd forgo blogging until next Sunday. Then I looked at a calendar. Next Sunday is Christmas eve. I'll be on the road all day Sunday, heading back to the RC after an evening at work. When I get there I'll be making bread, going to chruch and then opening presents with the family. Not much time for blogging. The next day will be Christmas, another family day. I guess what I'm saying is that the whole next week will be pretty busy for me.

    A one week Blog Hiatus could easily turn into two. This does take some effort on my part. It takes up a pretty big chunk of my time. And there's a rhythm to it. I fear losing that rhythm. If I stop that could happen.

    Finally, I was in the shower and the idea for this post came to me....

    I Am an Ass

    I am an ass. I don't know if I always was, don't know how long I've been one, but I have been an ass for some time now. I prefer the term ass unmodified, I don't really like the prefixes smart- or wise-, really don't care for dumb- as I don't think it usually applies. I really don't like the suffix -hole, seems too hurtful.

    I'm just your regular run of the mill ass. I'm a garden variety ass. I can't deny it. It's who I am. I have all of the tendencies that mark the ass. I always have to comment, usually in a needling fashion. Everything is a joke to me.

    Every song I've written except for two are indicitive of the ass that I am. And both show my ass-like tendencies, they aren't completely serious they kind of started off with a joke and found a more serious direction as I wrote.

    As a side note, it amazes me when people, generally women I'm in relationships with, say I'm too serious. Too serious? You don't get it! I am an ass. An ass like me is not capable of the type of seriousness that I've been accused of.

    I am an ass. It's who I am. It's what seems to attract people to me. My friends know I'm an ass. That's probably why they're my friends. Every woman I ever dated became interested in me while I was acting like an ass. Even women I didn't officially "date" (proper notification forms for romantic intent were not filed witht the states of Wyoming, Colorado or South Dakota) became intrigued by me because of my ass-like qualities. And I play it up. I know people like it when I'm an ass. Sometimes I overdo it, but that's something an ass would do.

    At this point in my life, I will most likely contionue to be anass. I'll continue to do things that piss people off. It's what I do, I am an ass.

    I'm sorry, extremely sorry when my ass-ness hurts people. That is never been my intent. I try to be a harmless ass. I know it doesn't always work out that way, but it's how it's meant.

    AN ASS

    Sunday, December 17, 2006


    Give Me One Week

    I'll post something next Sunday.

    Season Against the Spread: 26-22-1
    Season Over/Unders: 8-6-1
    Total Amount Remaining: $1600

    Doug Jungemann

    Saturday, December 16, 2006


    Blog Hiatus

    Life isn't going well and blogging just seems to be making it worse. Did something today that I'd only done once before. Not sure how I feel about that. Not sure what to do about it. Stopping this for a while seems to be at least a temporary answer.

    For now, enjoy some Abby SomeOne:

    Doug Jungemann

    once again, comments are off


    Onion Radio News

    Doyle Redland
    With Doyle Redland

    Return Letter From Santa Just A String Of Obscenities Directed At Elves

    Listen to the story here.

    Happy Holidays from The Onion!




    Miss USA to be Dethroned?

    "Behavioral and Personal
    Issues?" I gotta meet this girl
    NEW YORK (Reuters) - Billionaire Donald Trump has won the backing of beauty pageant organizers for putting the current
    Miss USA on warning for reported misbehavior, with the industry keen to protect a sanctified image of beauty queens.

    Miss USA Tara Conner is not the first beauty queen to face the ire of Trump, who owns the Miss USA and Miss Universe franchises. In 2002 he fired Miss Universe, Russia's Oxana Fedorova, for failing to perform her pageant duties.

    The self-described teetotaler is now evaluating Conner's "behavioral and personal issues" after newspaper reports that the 20-year-old titleholder has been partying in bars around New York -- where the legal drinking age is 21.

    The property magnate and host of the popular reality TV show "The Apprentice" has called a press conference for Tuesday when he will reveal Conner's fate.

    "Mr. Trump is seriously studying the situation," his office said in a statement late on Friday, declining to elaborate on the behavior that sparked the review.

    "First and foremost he is concerned about Tara and wants to do what is best for her. Then he will think about what is best for the very successful Miss USA pageant."

    If Conner is dethroned, runner-up Tamiko Nash, Miss California, will take her place, and Conner would join a list of beauty queens who have fallen from grace for breaching written -- and unwritten -- rules after donning their tiara.

    Miss USA organizers declined to hand over a list of rules for their titleholder, but said she had to be a role model.

    I can't believe I posted this drivel......



    Nearly 450 AOL Employees Are Laid Off

    From the Associated Press:

    About 450 AOL Workers Are Laid Off As Firm Continues Restructuring Away From Dial-Up Internet

    About 450 workers at the Dulles headquarters of AOL were laid off Wednesday as the company continues restructuring away from its traditional roots as a subscription-based provider of dial-up Internet access.

    AOL announced in August that it planned to cut about 5,000 jobs -- or roughly a fourth of its global workforce -- as it embarked on major changes designed to shift the company's revenue stream from subscription fees to online advertising. Many of AOL's key features, like e-mail accounts, are now available for free.

    AOL spokesman Andrew Weinstein said Wednesday's layoffs essentially represent the final round of job cuts.

    Worldwide layoffs roughly matched the 5,000 figure cited back in August, but fewer of the cuts came at the Dulles headquarters than had been anticipated. In all, about 500 were laid off in northern Virginia, compared to initial estimates of about 1,000.

    Most of those laid off Wednesday had jobs related to support of the company's dial-up access service.

    "The majority of the employees either knew or suspected they might be impacted" because of the company's earlier announcements, Weinstein said.

    Since the company announced its broad plans in August, it has closed all four of its domestic call centers in Ogden, Utah; Albuquerque, N.M.; Tucson, Ariz.: and Oklahoma City. All of its call centers are now located overseas, in Bangalore, India, and the Philippines, Weinstein said.

    In August, AOL's parent company, Time Warner Inc., said it expected to spend $250 million to $350 million through 2007 to implement changes at AOL. About half of that was earmarked for employee severance.

    Wednesday's cuts leave AOL with a global work force of about 14,000, including about 4,000 in northern Virginia.

    It's generally not in my nature to delight in the misfortune of others, but hopefully these cutbacks will extend to Corporate Escalations and a certain person I'm not supposed to call anymore. I do hope that Ginger Crissman, who works in Dulles where the bulk of the layoffs are coming from is OK as she was actually helpful to me.


    Friday, December 15, 2006



    Sue Foley Photo Friday

    Looking casual. It works for me!
    Does Sue take a bad picture? I mean, even in "Gawdaful" pants she's still an absolute knockout! Here, with a guitar, looking very casual, well, I don't think it can get any better. That's just my opinion, of course. You can have your own, but you'd most likely be wrong if you disagree with me.



    Thursday, December 14, 2006


    It's Pointless Shit, It's the New Monday Post, It's Two Blogs in One!

    Who Will Win This Year's
    Matchup? Watch ESPN on
    December 21st to Find Out!
    While yesterday's MBW turned out to be more pointless than I imagined, I still am obligated by the corporate rules of The Globex Corporation to:

    ....offer a post on Thursdays that is of a silly or "pointless" nature.

    Posts on Thrusday shall be referred to as "Pointless Shit" until such time that the board deems such posts no longer necessary.

    So there you have it, bound by my ties to The Globex Corporation to offer the following:

    Previous Winners of The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl

    Dec. 22, 2005 — California 35, Brigham Young 28
    Dec. 23, 2004 — Wyoming 24, UCLA 21
    Dec. 24, 2003 — Oregon State 55, New Mexico 14
    Dec. 25, 2002 — UCLA 27, New Mexico 13
    Dec. 25, 2001 — Utah 10, Southern California 6
    Dec. 21, 2000 — UNLV 31, Arkansas 14
    Dec. 18, 1999 — Utah 17, Fresno State 16
    Dec. 19, 1998 — North Carolina 20, San Diego State 13
    Dec. 20, 1997 — Oregon 41, Air Force 13
    Dec. 18, 1996 — Nevada 18, Ball State 15
    Dec. 14, 1995 — Toledo 40, Nevada 37 (OT)
    Dec. 15, 1994 — UNLV 52, Central Michigan 24
    Dec. 17, 1993 — Utah State 42, Ball State 33
    Dec. 18, 1992 — Bowling Green 35, Nevada 34

    Watch the game this year. You'd be helping out in my quest for global domination.



    Gartner: Blogging to Peak in 2007

    By Brian Bergstein of the AP:

    BOSTON - Could blogging be near the peak of its popularity? The technology gurus at Gartner Inc. believe so. One of the research company's top 10 predictions for 2007 is that the number of bloggers will level off in the first half of next year at roughly 100 million worldwide.

    The reason: Most people who would ever dabble with Web journals already have. Those who love it are committed to keeping it up, while others have gotten bored and moved on, said Daryl Plummer, chief Gartner fellow.

    "A lot of people have been in and out of this thing," Plummer said. "Everyone thinks they have something to say, until they're put on stage and asked to say it."

    That's no knock on blogging. Plummer noted that this leveling-off dynamic plays out all the time, though it often comes as a bit of a surprise when it hits things that had achieved quick popularity.

    You mean this is all going to end? How will the world survive without Mega-Bitch Wednesday or Sue Foley Photo Friday? I guess we'll all find out as blogging falls out of favor in 2007, and I, as always do the popular thing and shut this bad boy down for good......


    Tuesday, December 12, 2006


    More Unauthorized Use

    It amazes me that mere amateurs think they can play this email game with me. Remember I got an apology out of AOL for calling me. Just who does this Mark Houston think he's dealing with?


    Look again at your definition. "The act of competing". That's all you were involved in, the "act" of competition. There is no guarantee you would have won anything! A competition does not guarantee a winner! Had there been enough entrants, judges would have listened to the songs and then picked qualifiers. Maybe yours would have made the cut, maybe not (probably not because of the content). But nowhere in the rules did it state that you would be a "guaranteed" qualifier or winner. We did notify entrants about the cancellation. I apologize if you did not receive the notice, which is probably the case since you have been the only entrant to complain.

    And please don't suggest that anyone was "insulting" your intelligence. If you want to talk about things putting you "in a great mood", try having your personal e-mails splattered across a blog that you know nothing about.

    Mark Houston

    First thought, if you didn't know that your "personal" email was being "splattered" (need to make fun of that, but appreciate the graphic imagry) across a blog, then why would you care? I provided the link. Only thought it was fair. But I had more to say:

    Personal emails? You're taking this personally? I thought you were acting in your professional capacity. I mean, before this email you included your title every time. Also, emails were sent from your place of employment. Seems like professional, work related email to me.

    Just take out of the definition what you want I guess. "The act of competing." Forget all about "for supremacy, a prize, etc." Doesn't fit your argument, so forget that it exists. Had something really, really funny here, but it would have been seen as insulting your intelligence, and I won't stoop to that level.

    I actually wrote "Or did your lips get tired from all of that reading." That would have been wrong, so I didn't do it.....

    I appreciate that you tried to contact people that the competition was cancelled. I received no such notice, but I did move shortly after the non-existent competition began. I did contact you shortly after moving, but was told that the non-existent competition was still on. My only actual complaint is that entrants weren't notified of the cancellation of the previously-existent competition. And while I received no notification, I understand how failure to notify me could have happened.

    I got one last response:


    Personal or private, the e-mails were used in a capacity that was not authorized. Semantics, I guess.

    Anyway, thanks for taking the time to hash this out. Again, we aplogize if you didn't receive the notice of cancellation. Good luck in any future song-writing endeavors.

    Yeah, watch yourself with me. Say what you mean or don't say anything at all. I'd better watch my ass with all of this unauthorized use.

    So what happened here? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Story of my fucking life, I follow the rules and the rules get changed. Sometimes, like this time, I get an apology. I got an apology only after nearly a year and a whole lot of bitching.

    On the other hand it did take my mind off the personal bullshit that I'm going through right now, if only for a little while. Also re-directed my anger in other directions so as not to piss off people that I actually know. Well, not piss them off any more, anyway.....



    Positive About Honesty

    Honesty!!!! Yeah!!!! I love Honesty!!!!

    I love honesty almost as much as I love sarcasm!

    Yeah, being honest has always worked out for me. Telling people exactly what I think has never been to my disadvantage. Never. Honesty is great, and nothing bad ever comes from it. Not to me, anyway.

    My honesty has never hurt anybody. No one's honesty has ever hurt me. Honesty is the greatest thing in the world, especially when you have to fucking drag it out of people. That's when it's most satisfying. Somebody doesn't want to tell you something, has been hiding it for days. So you drag it out of them. Yeah. Satisfying!

    Just what I wanted to hear. And being honest in return? Oh, yeah! That's freaking nirvana! It's so appreciated! Yeah, I love honesty! It's exactly what I want to hear. Exactly.



    Damn It, I Didn't Win

    Received this from Mark Houston this morning about the so-called "Songwriter's Shootout" (and no firearms were used in the competition, well, maybe there were, I guess I didn't read all of the conditions of the competition):


    Read your blog, here's my reply...

    We needed enough entries to eventually make a CD, we didn't get enough entries to justify the cost of making a CD, so the contest was cancelled.
    What about that is so hard to understand? You didn't "win" a songwriter's competition, because there was no competition! In order for there to have been a competiton, we needed the proper number of entries. Yes, you sent in an entry, but there were not enough entries sent in, so the criteria for the contest was not met. We needed at least 14 entries to make the Shootout work, we only received seven. If we had received the 14 that we would needed, they then would have been judged. So again, no guarantee you would have won anything. If you have questions or issues, yes, call me. Don't hide behind a blog. And just to be on the safe side, if you're going to include this in your blog, you should remove my phone number. It's not a public number. Thanks.

    Mark Houston
    Program Director/KOUT
    Rapid City, SD

    Everybody forget the phone number previously posted. My bad.

    So many comments I could make here. Sent the following a few minutes ago:

    1. the act of competing; rivalry for supremacy, a prize, etc.: The competition between the two teams was bitter.
    2. a contest for some prize, honor, or advantage: Both girls entered the competition.
    3. the rivalry offered by a competitor: The small merchant gets powerful competition from the chain stores.
    4. a competitor or competitors: What is your competition offering?
    5. Sociology. rivalry between two or more persons or groups for an object desired in common, usually resulting in a victor and a loser but not necessarily involving the destruction of the latter.
    6. Ecology. the struggle among organisms, both of the same and of different species, for food, space, and other vital requirements.

    Nowhere in this definition do I see anything about a qualifying number of applicants. Nowhere in the rules for you competition did I see anything about a qualifying number of applicants.

    What is so hard to understand? Now you're questioning my intelligence? That's going to put me in a great mood. You think I don't understand that you can do anything you want? You can. I understand. Don't you understand that this is a pretty crappy way to treat people? To run a competition, to tell people that there will be winners then offer no explanation when none are given?

    And hiding behind a blog? Geez, maybe I don't understand the concept of hiding. I figured that hiding was done in a surreptitious (pretty good word for a guy who isn't smart enough to understand all of this) manner, not completely in public.

    I have no issues other than if you're going to try something like this in the future that you let the people who enter know that if you don't like how it all turns out that you're not going through with it. Other organizations don't do things that way, but feel free to do it in yours. Just let us know.

    So I didn't win a country songwriting competition. Maybe there wasn't one, maybe I just imagined it all. I don't know, I'm not really intelligent enought o understand all of this.


    Monday, December 11, 2006


    Ex-Enron CEO Skilling Gets Prison Delay

    This kind of shit really pisses me off. Jeff Skilling of Enron gets his prison time delayed:

    According to a docket entry on the court's Web site, the delay was "solely to allow this court to give careful consideration to the request for bail pending appeal." According to the entry, a new report date would be set pending further court order.

    I wonder if this would happen for some poor average Joe first time DWI offender. And the place doesn't sound that bad anyway:

    "For me, it wasn't the worst experience," said the Rev. Chuck Butler, a retired Methodist minister from nearby Rochester. Butler spent three months in the prison in 2000 after several trespassing arrests for protesting on Georgia's Fort Benning Army base.

    "The food they served was actually quite good. It used to be a university extension site, so you'd walk into certain parts and immediately feel like you were on a college campus," he said.

    Good food and walking around with a small amount of freedom. I said it before the death of Kenneth Lay, a survey should be done of every single former Enron employee. Skilling should never be allowed to have a life better than any of them. If any of them ever ends up homeless, not knowing where their next meal is coming from, then Jeff Skilling should have to sleep outside and not be fed that day. This man ruined peoples' lives. Ruined them so he could make more mone for himself. That is lowest thing a person can do.



    Songwriter's Shootout

    Last December, a local RC radio station had a competition that they called the "Songwriter's Shootout." It was a country music station that was looking for original country music songs written by local songwriters. The winners would record with professional musicians and a CD would be put out.

    For the record, I don't consider anything I've ever done to be particularly "country," but I figured I'd give it a shot. I had an mp3 of Two Condoms from a Dunn Bros. open mic, a decent recording if not a great one that I sent to the radio station. Regular readers of this blog will know the song, but for anyone who has no idea what I'm talking about, here are the lyrics (it was a songwriters competition after all):


    All day long, I wear two
    All day long, I wear two
    All day long I wear two condoms
    'Cuz your virtue is untrue
    Then I whip one off and feel like a wildman
    When I'm with you

    Don't know where you've been
    Or what diseases you've got
    I just see your body, baby
    And it make me hot
    So all day long I wear two condoms
    'Cuz you virtue is untrue

    You always tell me
    It's just a silly habit
    That we ain't at the grocery store
    And I don't have to double bag it
    But darlin' your express lane
    Is in an awful mess
    And I don't think you know the meaning
    Of fourteen items or less

    So all day long, I wear two
    All day long, I wear two (sometimes three)
    All day long I wear two condoms
    'Cuz your virtue is untrue
    Then I whip one off and feel like a wildman
    When I'm with you

    Not your classc C&W song, but it has elements that I think would work well in that genre. Actually, musically it was inspired by Mojo Nixon who is often referred to as Alt-Country. In any case, I entered it in the contest and thought it would have a decent chance.

    I moved to Cheyenne in January of this year, I checked the radio station's web site to see if there was any more mention of the contest. None. By February it was as if the contest never existed. So Saturday I sent the following to the radio station in an email:

    You guys did a "Songwriter's Shootout" contest last year. Haven't seen any winners listed anywhere.
    Just curious....
    Doug Jungemann
    N 41 08.820'
    W 104 49.739'
    Elevation 6127ft

    Didn't expect a reply right away as it was a weekend. Hell, didn't expect a reply at all, but I woke up to the following in my In-Box this morning:

    Sorry Doug, it ended up getting cancelled due to lack of entries. Thanks.

    Mark Houston
    Program Director/KOUT
    Rapid City, SD
    Phone: 605.718.6883

    Lack of entries? Well, I know there was at least one entry. So I sent the following:

    You can do that? I entered. Doesn't that mean I won?

    I mean, really, you have a contest. If someone enters, didn't they win? I'm serious, as far as I'm concerned, I won a songwriter's competition. I know a guy who won a banjo competition because he was the only one who entered. Why can't I get the same treatment? There was a reply:

    That would be great if I used that logic for the lottery, too! I bought a ticket, doesn't that mean I won! :)

    Mark Houston
    Program Director/KOUT
    Rapid City, SD
    Phone: 605.718.6883

    OK, now I'm just a little bit pissed off. He's making light of the situation, making light of not living up to his end of the deal. Not letting the entries know (and there weren't many, so it wouldn't have been that difficult) that the contest had been cancelled. Not only is he trying to make a lame little joke, he uses that annoying fucking ASCII smiley face thing. God I hate shit like that:

    Never heard of a lottery being cancelled, particularly if people actually entered. That would be sort of like having a license to print money. I'd like one of those!

    No reply to that one. I've got the guys phone number (oops, now so do you.....) so I could call him and bug him. Maybe I will. I like doing stuff like that. Maybe I'd get to eventually add a new name and number to the Globex Corporation Do Not Call Registry. I'll give him a chance to respond first, though.

    Got a lot of time on my hands now. Maybe I've just found a silly way to spend some of it.....



    Cool Graphs That I Didn't Make.....

    BYU vs. Oregon
    December 21st in Las Vegas
    Editor's Note: The Globex Corporation Newsletter will be running features on the festivities and teams surrounding this year's The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl. DHMO Monday will return after the first of the year.

    Historial graphs showing winning percentage per year, points for, points against and wins in each decade for the particpants in this year's The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl, the Oregon Ducks and the BYU Cougars:



    Damn, I love charts and graphs!



    The skinny on Sin City
    The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl Preview

    BYU vs. Oregon
    December 21st in Las Vegas
    Editor's Note: The Globex Corporation Newsletter will be running features on the festivities and teams surrounding this year's The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl. DHMO Monday will return after the first of the year.

    The Oregon football team hits the practice field for the first time in preparation of its The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl appearance on Dec. 21 against No. 20 Brigham Young University.

    While the Ducks prepare their gameplan for a high-powered BYU squad, here are some facts and history of the Las Vegas Bowl and information about events leading up to this year's game.

    The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl History

    - Oregon was the first representative from the Pacific-10 Conference to attend The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl when the Ducks defeated No. 23 Air Force 41-13 in 1997.

    - Six Pac-10 teams have visited The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl, most recently with Cal beating BYU 35-28 last season. Oregon State, Oregon and Cal have all made one victorious appearance. USC lost to Utah in its one appearance while UCLA has gone twice, beating New Mexico in 2002 and losing to Wyoming in 2004.

    - The Pac-10 is 4-2 in The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl

    - While this season pits the No. 4 team from the Pac-10 against the Mountain West Conference champion, The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl has also hosted teams from the Western Athletic Conference, Atlantic Coast Conference and Southeastern Conference.

    - Last year's The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl game between Cal and BYU was a sellout and drew a 2.40 national rating, which ranked seventh-highest out of 20 total bowl games aired by the ESPN Networks.

    - The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl was first organized by community leaders hoping to fill hotel rooms during the holiday season. The Globex Corporation came aboard with their corporate sponsorship in their never ending quest for Global Domination.

    - The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl has featured a few firsts, including the first female to ever play in a Division I-A football game when New Mexico kicker Katie Hnida attempted an extra point against UCLA in 2002. The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl also featured the first Division I-A overtime game in 1995 when Toledo beat Nevada 40-37 in 1995.

    The Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl Events

    Dec. 18: Team leaves Eugene. Invite-only welcome reception hosted by Globex Corporation CEO and renowned blogger, "Blind Orange" Julius in ESPN Zone inside New York, New York Hotel from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.

    Dec. 19: Both teams pay a visit to Sunrise Children's Hospital. Both teams compete in Outback Buffet Bowl at the Fremont Street Experience from 6 p.m. to 6:45 p.m. A pep rally follows from 7 p.m. to 7:30 p.m.

    Dec. 20: Kickoff luncheon

    Dec. 21: Pre-game Tailgate Party at Sam Boyd Stadium from 2 p.m. to 4:45 p.m. The 2006 Globex Corporation Presents the BOJ News Service Bowl kicks off at 5:00 p.m.

    Sunday, December 10, 2006


    Broncos 17 - Chargers 0
    (Third Quarter Score)

    One hell of a third quarter, especially by Cutler and Scheffler.

    Don't want to talk about the rest of the game.



    Fake Gambling Results Week 14

    My shitty personal life aside, all of the games that we pretended to wager on are done. Let's see ohow we did:

  • Baltimore 20 at Kansas City 10 UNDER (36) +$100

  • Minnesota 30 at Detroit (-1.5) 20 -$100

  • Indianapolis (-1) 44 at Jacksonville 17 -$100

  • Philadelphia (-1) 21 at Washington 19 +$100

  • Week 14 Against the Spread: 1-2
    Week 14 Over/Unders: 1-0

    BOJ Season Against the Spread: 26-22-1
    BOJ Season Over/Unders: 8-6-1
    BOJ Balance for Week 14: $0
    BOJ Total Amount Remaining: $1600

    The Ravens D comes through for me for the second week in a row. If I weren't making fake money off of this, it would really make me mad.

    I knew a farovred Lions team had to be some sort of mirage. Why did I take them again?

    If I would just stick with my whole "bet against the Colts no matter what the spread" thing I'd be richer. I didn't. The Jags, I thougth they were done.

    The 'Skins made a game of it, but the Eagles can smell the playoffs. I like them, no quit in them.

    On to Jason:

  • Denver (+7.5) 20 at San Diego 28 -$250

  • Week 14 Against the Spread: 0-1
    Week 14 Over/Unders: 0-0

    Jason Season Against the Spread: 12-21-3
    Jason Season Over/Unders: 8-12-1
    Jason Balance for Week 14: -$250
    Jason Total Amount Remaining: -$112.50

    I'll be keeping an eye on Jason for our fake bookies. He's over $100 down, they usually don't do anything about that. I'm sure they'll let it carry over, not pressure him, give him the chance to dig himself out of his whole. Or dig himself in deeper. Don't mess around Jason, these guys are animals. I have the virtual broken fingers to prove it. They eventually go their money. Bastards.



    Update on My Personal Life still sucks.....



    From The Onion

    New Strain of Jet Lag Devistates Airline Industry
    View the Slidshow!



    Saturday, December 09, 2006


    Blog Haiku

    Listen to serene music played on a Koto while reading this post for maximum effect.

    Read Sarcastra's Blog
    She posted a nice poem
    I made a comment

    My muse spoke to me
    Haiku in your comment"
    My muse is a nerd

    Then one Heptasyllabic

    Well crafted comment
    Others then followed my lead
    I've unleashed a beast

    Don't know what I've done
    Sorry to infect her blog
    With cheesy

    Check out
    Haiku News
    Important news of the day
    Serenely offered

    Don't use my own name here
    "Blind Orange" Julius
    Call me

    Friday, December 08, 2006


    Fake Gambling Week 14

    The Fake Gambling Picks are In! The Fake Gambling Picks are In!!!!

  • Baltimore at Kansas City UNDER (36) - $100

  • Minnesota at Detroit (-1.5) - $100

  • Indianapolis (-1) at Jacksonville - $100

  • Philadelphia (-1) at Washington - $100

  • BOJ's Week 14 Stake: $1600
    BOJ's Week 14 Wagered: $400

    I wuss out again. Win and then play it conservativly. It's my fake gambling MO. Seems to be working, though

    Baltimore is plaing great defense and even though the Chiefs can put up some points, well, so could the Bengals and look what happened last Thursday. The under seems like a good bet.

    A fake gambling first. I take a favored Detroit team. A favored Detrit team. I can't remember even ever saying "favored Detroit team." Mineesota is a mess. So is Detroit, but they're more comfortable there. The Lions win going away.

    One of those lines I can't figure out. Yeah, Indy dropped a game to Tennessee last week. That kind of thing just isn't going to happen against a J'ville team that's going the wrong direction. Indy against J'ville? I'll gladly give up one measly point.....

    Philadelphia is actually playing pretty good football after the loss of Donovan McNabb. Washington hasn't played good football since the pre-season. I'll take the Eagles and surrender a soitary point.

    Jason's one and only pick:

  • Denver (+7.5) at San Diego - $250

  • Jason's Week 14 Stake: $137.50
    Jason's Week 14 Wagered: $250

    Astute readers may notice a slight discrepency here. Jason is betting fake money that he doesn't have. He assures me that it's OK, that the Broncos are a lock, a lead pipe lock, to win this game, forget the sevan and a half points, they're winning this one out right. His eyes kind of glazed over when he told me this. I've seen it before. The fake gambler looking for the big score to pull him out of a losing stretch.

    Really, I should suggest he get help with his fake gambling addition. Then again, at 10% per week interest per week on any defecit, it could probe to be quite a money maker for the fake bookies we gamble with. And he has a job, so it's not like he won't have more fake money rolling in. He's good for it.....



    Sue Foley Photo Friday

    Really, do I need to say anything anymore?

    It's Sue Foley Photo Friday. I like it. A lot. I hope you do too.



    Thursday, December 07, 2006


    Pointless Shit Thursday

    2006-2007 College Bowl Schedule

    All times Eastern.
    The rest of the country can do the math....

    Dec. 19
    8:00 pm ET
    ESPN2 San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
    San Diego, CA
    Qualcomm Stadium
    Northern Illinois

    Dec. 21
    8:00 pm ET
    ESPN The Globex Corporation presents the BOJ News Service Bowl
    Las Vegas, NV
    Sam Boyd Stadium
    Brigham Young

    Dec. 22
    8:00 pm ET
    ESPN R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl
    New Orleans, LA
    Louisiana Superdome

    Dec. 23
    1:00 pm ET
    ESPN2 Bowl
    Birmingham, AL
    Legion Field
    South Florida
    East Carolina

    Dec. 23
    4:30 pm ET
    ESPN New Mexico Bowl
    Albuquerque, NM
    University Stadium
    New Mexico
    San Jose State

    Dec. 23
    8:00 pm ET
    ESPN Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl
    Fort Worth, TX
    Amon G. Carter Stadium

    Dec. 24
    8:00 pm ET
    ESPN Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl
    Honolulu, HI
    Aloha Stadium
    Arizona State

    Dec. 26
    7:30 pm ET
    ESPN Motor City Bowl
    Detroit, MI
    Ford Field
    Middle Tennessee
    Central Michigan

    Dec. 27
    8:00 pm ET
    ESPN Emerald Bowl
    San Francisco, CA
    AT&T Park
    Florida State

    Dec. 28
    4 :30 pm ET
    ESPN PetroSun Independence Bowl
    Shreveport, LA
    Independence Stadium
    Oklahoma State

    Dec. 28
    8:00 pm ET
    NFL Network Texas Bowl
    Houston, TX
    Reliant Stadium
    Kansas State

    Dec. 28
    8:00 pm ET
    ESPN Pacific Life Holiday Bowl
    San Diego, CA
    Qualcomm Stadium
    Texas A&M

    Dec. 29
    1:00 pm ET
    ESPN Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl
    Nashville, TN
    LP Field

    Dec. 29
    2:00 pm ET
    CBS Brut Sun Bowl
    El Paso, TX
    Sun Bowl Stadium
    Oregon State

    Dec. 29
    4:30 pm ET
    ESPN AutoZone Liberty Bowl
    Memphis, TN
    Liberty Bowl Stadium
    South Carolina

    Dec. 29
    7:30 pm ET
    NFL Network Insight Bowl
    Tempe, AZ
    Sun Devil Stadium
    Texas Tech

    Dec. 29
    8 :00 pm ET
    ESPN Champs Sports Bowl
    Orlando, FL
    Florida Citrus Bowl

    Dec. 30
    1:00 pm ET
    ESPN Meineke Car Care Bowl
    Charlotte, NC
    Bank of America Stadium
    Boston College

    Dec. 30
    4:30 pm ET
    ESPN MasterCard Alamo Bowl
    San Antonio, TX

    Dec. 30
    8:00 pm ET
    ESPN Chick-fil-A Bowl
    Atlanta, GA
    Georgia Dome
    Virginia Tech

    Dec. 31
    7:30 pm ET
    ESPN MPC Computers Bowl
    Boise, ID
    Bronco Stadium
    Miami FL

    Jan. 1
    11:00 am ET
    ESPN Outback Bowl
    Tampa, FL
    Raymond James Stadium
    Penn State

    Jan. 1
    11:30 am ET
    FOX AT&T Cotton Bowl Classic
    Dallas, TX
    Cotton Bowl

    Jan. 1
    1:00 pm ET
    ABC Capital One Bowl
    Orlando, FL
    Florida Citrus Bowl

    Jan. 1
    1:00 pm ET
    CBS Toyota Gator Bowl
    Jacksonville, FL
    Alltel Stadium
    Georgia Tech
    West Virginia

    Jan. 1
    5:00 pm ET
    ABC Rose Bowl
    asadena, CA
    Rose Bowl
    Southern California

    Jan. 1
    8:00 pm ET
    FOX Tostitos
    Fiesta Bowl

    Glendale, AZ
    University of Phoenix Stadium
    Boise State

    Jan. 2
    8:00 pm ET
    FOX FedEx Orange Bowl
    Miami, FL
    Dolphins Stadium
    Wake Forest

    Jan. 3
    8:00 pm ET
    FOX Allstate Sugar Bowl
    New Orleans, LA
    Louisiana State
    Notre Dame

    Jan. 6
    12:00 pm ET
    ESPN2 International Bowl
    Toronto, Canada
    Rogers Centre
    Western Michigan
    Jan. 7
    8:00 pm ET
    ESPN GMAC Bowl
    Mobile, AL
    Ladd Peebles Stadium
    Southern Miss
    Jan. 8
    8:00 pm ET
    FOX BCS National Championship Game
    Glendale, AZ
    University of Phoenix Stadium
    Ohio State


    Wednesday, December 06, 2006


    Kickin' it on the MBW, Yo!

    While yesterday's Positive Tuesday post may have been bitchy enough, and got me in enough hot water, to have no need for an MBW, I'll post one anyway, because I care about you, the fine readers of the Globex Corporation Newsletter.

    This one will be really personal as well. I had been living in the RC near my family. My parents, my sister and her three kids lived there. My oldest niece got married and had wonderful son, Julian.

    I took lots of pictures, we all took lots of pictures of the boy. My sister is divorced but wanted her ex-husband to be able to see pictures of his new grandson. His new wife protested, not liking to receive photos from his ex-wife. Whatever, people can be so fucking stupid.

    But I came up with a solution. An elegant solution, I thought. I made a Flickr photo sharing site for Julian. I posted lots of photos to the site and let Julian's grandfather know about it. I know that Julian's grandfather checks out the site quite often. So in that regard the site was successful.

    I, of course let the rest of the family know about the site. Links were sent to other more far flung relatives. Everybody seemed to like it. This was so cool. And, I enjoyed posting photos of Julian because he's a real cutie. Also because I'm a proud great uncle.

    I took a job in Cheyenne last January. My neice was pregnant again, due about a month after I would be in Cheyenne. One of the last things I asked was that Julian's Flickr site be kept up, and that the knew child have a site as well.

    "We don't know how!" Everyone protested.

    "It's easy!" I replied and then showed whoever wanted to learn how to post photos to the website.

    A couple of photos were posted by my sister a couple of weeks after I moved, but that was it. The tragically named Aaires was born on February 25th and a Flickr site was created by my sister. On February 26th, two photos of Julian and Aaires together were posted on Julian's site. Since that day, those have been the last photos posted by anyone in my family.

    I continued to post photos. When people would email me photos I would sometimes post them. Even a couple of print photos mailed to me were scanned in and then posted. Now, remember that I created Julian's Flickr site, I know the log in and password, so I can do this. Aaires' site was created after I moved. I have no clue how to post photos to his site. I don't want to. I shouldn't have to, I'm the distant relative, it sort of fucking defeats the purpose.

    After a while of nobody posting, I asked why people weren't posting photos.

    "It's too hard." They would reply. "We don't have time, we don't know how."

    I showed people again how to post photos. A few more months passed, still no photos.

    "We don't know how, show us how."

    I'd already showed them how. Numerous times. Nothing happened.

    In September I was in the RC for Julian's second birthday. We took lots of pictures. I posted a bunch when we got back to my folks' house. My neice was going to post some photos that she took. I would have done it from her house, but she couldn't get the photos off of her camera because she lost the cord for her camera. Built in excuses with my family. Nobody posted any photos but me.

    I emailed what I refer to as "Fucking Moron Instructions" to everybody in the family who has a camera and a little more ready access to the boys than I do. I figured if I made it simple, offered simple step by step instructions, that somebody, anybody, would post photos.

    They haven't. You know, the "Fucking Moron Instructions" were originally part of a longer email, one in which I told the family that they were, well, Fucking Morons, for not posting photos. I didn't send it. I simply sent the "Fucking Moron Instructions" to the fucking morons. Didn't do any good.

    I'm starting to think that nothing is going to do any good. I started the Flickr site so that Julian's grandfather, a man that nobody in our family gives a shit about anymore, could see pictures of his grandson. Hey, I don't give a shit about the guy. He shit on a family member. But family is family. If I can come up with a way for him to see pictures of his grandson, I will.

    The problem is that nobody in my family thinks the same of me. I sometimes think that they care even less for me than they do the man who divorced my sister. I moved. I'm the relative who lives out of the area. Why can't they do for me the same thing I did for someone who nobody gives a shit about?

    Pisses me off greatly, but that's what the MBW is all about.....


    Tuesday, December 05, 2006


    A Bitchy Positive Tuesday

    In 1992 I was served with divorce papers. Something like that should signal the end of a relationsip, and it did in my case. Still, I've always been that guy who's the champion of lost causes. I hang onto things much longer than I should, certainly much longer than is mentally healthy. I'd probably have hung onto my failing marriage even longer, continued to hold out hope if it weren't for timing.

    On February 14th, 1992, a young sherriff's deputy knocked on the door of my parents' house where I was staying. My ex-wife knew full well where I was. She also knew how long it would take to process the paperwork and when I would be served.

    The deputy didn't want to do this. Not then. He had to, he was bound by the law. A young man stood on the front step of my parents' house on Valentine's Day in 1992 to serve me with divorce papers.

    I was nothing but polite, letting the deputy do his job. Yeah, it was tearing me up inside. Yeah, I wanted to scream at the man, but it wasn't his fault, it was the fault of a vindictive bitch on the other end of the state. It was my fault for letting things get as bad as they had.

    First I was sad, unbelievably sad. Then I was mad, screaming, kicking hitting things and people mad (which I never did, by the way). Then I realized that it was all over, really over.

    Up to that point I was trying. That things had gotten as bad as they had took two people, but I'll admit a huge amount of fault for that. I tried to go on in my marriage thinking that we could make everything work out. That was stupid of me, we were in a place that we couldn't get out of by ourselves. We needed help. I refused. My fault.

    After the separation I tried to keep a relationship going. We were hundreds of miles away from each other, but telephones can span that gap. So can the US Mail. I called a lot, wrote a lot of letters. Had wonderful conversations with a woman who, even at that point, I was deeply in love with. She never called or wrote me, which should have told me something. Still I wouldn't give up. I could make it all work, we could make it all work if we just both put in the effort.

    Valentine's Day 1992 changed all of that. It was over. It was really over and even an emotioanl screw up like me could see it. My ex-wife had chosen to serve me on Valentine's day. That's a pretty clear signal of pretty serious intentions.

    So it was over. That is not to say that I didn't still love this woman, I still do in some ways, at least when my time-machine brain takes me back to the good times. That's not to say that on February 15th 1992 that I still didn't want to get back together with her. I knew that it would never happen though.

    Getting served on Valentine's day was the perfect act. It forced me to see my future, a future without the woman I loved. I wasn't OK with that, but I had to be. Eventually I was. I had to be because the alternative was pretty shitty.

    I was in bed an hour ago thinking about this. Thinking how that I wish everything in my life would work out like this. Hope is great, but it's a tease, particularly with things that you know deep inside aren't going to work out. Slap me in the face. Do something that makes me certain that it's over. Just don't tease me with hope.

    .....heard FUCK YOU twice and SCREW YOU once last night.....

    This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

    The Bert Convey
    Friends' Blogs
    My Photo
    Location: United States

    I'm not telling you anything...