Globex Corporation Newsletter

WARNING This post influenced by too much Malt Liquor and an unhealthy exposure to the music of one Sue Foley

I played guitar some today. I responded to an odd questionaire for Joe Bucholz a few minutes ago. I'm listening to Sue Foley right now.

People tell me I'm talented. Amy thinks I'm talented, wonders what I'm doing in Cheyenne, Wyoming, not playing in public very much. I don't fucking know. I listen to Willy Grigg, or Shawn Bitz or think about that ridiculously talented Josh Marquis, all people I know and wonder what the fuck I'm doing calling myself a "musician" even if I make the "quotey fingers" thingy when I way it.

Steve Thorpe, who I respect the hell out of, tells me to "do what you do." That's probably the best piece of creative advice I've ever received. I am not a good guitar player. I am not (no matter what I think) a very good harmonica player. I am a passable singer. I don't write good songs. All of that said, somehow, I manage to make people smile. When it came to doing the music thing, really, to any part of my life, that's all I ever wanted.

I make people smile. I suppose worse things could be said about me. Yet, I know, personally know, so many people with more talent than me. I was in a band, Patient 957, with three people with so much more talent than me. I wish I could play guitar like TSA. I wish I had the stage pressence of an Andy Stoll. I wish I had the songwriting accumen of ONA (the Other not Andy). I have none of that. I don't write songs like Joe Bucholz or SMB, don't have the chops of a GF1 or Josh Marquis.

People like what I do. I hate to call an audience a bunch of idiots, but I feel like screaming that every time some aplauds what I do on the few stages I find myself on today.

I do what I do. Steve Thorpe's words ring in my ears every time someone says something nice about me. I get it. I don't always believe it.

I wish I had talent, real talent. I wish I could play, not like people who are making a comfortable living playing music, but like people I know, unapprecated people I know who are so fucking good at their craft. It's a hobby for me. I realize that. I will never make a living playing music. Or writing music. Or writing about music. I'm just not that kind of good. I could practice 12 hours a day, but I just don't have it in me.

I've always tried to play off of being unique. I'm that guy who writes the quirky relationship based songs. I'm that guy who focuses on playing harmonica in a town full of guitar players. If you limit what you do enough, I guess you end up being the best at what you do.

I just wish I had as much talent as people I know. I know that seems silly. I always feel like the "weak sister" when it comes to musicians. "Doing what I do" is nice, and frankly I think I do it well. But what the hell is it.

Maybe it's time to put down the Malt Liquor and just go to bed. I'll even turn off the Sue Foley. That would probably be a good idea.....


BOJ