Globex Corporation Newsletter

Poker, roulette, slots or something else - everything will be perfectly fair!

No dodging croupiers trying to fool you - only you vs. the chance!

Don’t decline the proposal that will be able to make you a millionaire in a blink of an eye - our huge jackpot is still waiting for someone to take it! It’s waiting for you!

Play in your language now

I'm not down on gambling at all, in fact, I love it. I like playing in casinos because they are fair. That doesn't mean that I'm going to win every time, the odds are NEVER in the players favor, but the odds are the odds. Yes, there is the chance to become a millionaire in a blink of an eye. It's not going to happen, but the chance is there.

It amazes me that an internet gambling site's best marketing tactic is to say that they're fair, that they're not going to screw you.

They can, of course. Since they don't have "dodging croupiers" who are dealing you real cards in a real random fashion, they can make the cards come out in the way most disadvantageous to the player. An internet casino has so many more chances to cheat than a real casino.

But you can play in your language now...

BOJ

Labels: Spam of the Week

Adam Schefter of NFL.com reports that the Oakland Raiders have traded troubled WR, Randy Moss to New England for a fourth round draft pick.

Randy Moss was slated to go high in the 1998 NFL draft, character issues allowed him to fall to #21 to the Minnesota Vikings. His rookie season, it began to look good for the Vikings, Moss had a big season, the Vikings came within a game of meeting the Denver Broncos (who would have defeated them handily..) in Super Bowl XXXIII.

Then it went bad, Moss attempted to run over a traffic control officer in downtown Minneapolis while there was marijuana in his car. He admitted to sometimes taking a play off. Idiot coach, Mike Tice, instituted the "Randy-Ratio" in an attempt to get the ball to Moss enough times in a game, sort of saying "screw you" to the rest of the offense.

By 2004, Moss had worn out his welcome as the Vikings fell into mediocrity (or worse), and the Vikings traded Moss to the Raiders for some guy named Napoleon. Moss was nearly invisible in Oakland the past two years, though they didn't have a QB who could get him the ball.

Now Moss is off to the New England Patriots. I like the Patriots and what they've done in the offseason. My complaint about the Pats last year was that they didn't have any good receivers. Assuming Moss can get his head out of his ass, they now have a great receiver.

If any organization can straighten out Moss, it's the Patriots. I'd say it 50-50 between Moss having a productive year or being benched a'la Terrell Owens in Philadelphia. I think I'm being genorous towards Moss.

The Globex Corporation sponsors the Pro Football Reference page for a little known WR named Ed McCaffrey. In the sponsorship section of the page I state:

(McCaffrey) has three Super Bowl Rings, more than Keyshawn Johnson, Randy Moss and Terrell Owens combined. See what happens when you shut up and let other people touch the ball, too?

If Randy Moss keeps his mouth shut and doesn't complain when other people touch the ball, he'll win at least one Super Bowl. The Patriots are too good. Moss is just too good, maybe the most physically talented wide receiver to ever play the game. It's up to him now, he can't blame anyone else if he fails in New England. New England won three Super Bowls without Moss. If they can't win one with Moss, it will be pretty obvious where the trouble is coming from.

BOJ

From The Seattle Times:

Here's something you wouldn't expect to find inside a time capsule from the 1950s: pornography from the 1970s.

But faculty members at the University of Washington Department of Communications found just that when they opened a half-century-old time capsule Thursday and saw a centerfold and copies of Playboy and Hustler.

Atop the 50-year-old memorabilia were items from the late '70s and early '80s: adult magazines, an April Fools' edition of The Daily, UW's student newspaper, clip-on ties, women's underwear, and nearly petrified Twinkies, among other things.

"I just think this is a great college prank," department chair Gerald Baldasty said Thursday night after an event at which alumni from the classes that sponsored the time capsule got to look at what was inside. "We're not upset at all; we're just having a good chuckle over it."

It didn't appear that any of the original items placed in the capsule 50 years ago — reel-to-reel films and copies of local publications — were missing, Baldasty said.

The time capsule was locked away, implanted in the wall of the Communications Building, with an inscription that said it should be opened on the 100th anniversary of the first journalism classes at the university, which is this year.

The department is planning an event for Saturday to reveal to the general public what was inside its capsule, which sits outside The Daily's offices. The more recent additions to the capsule will be part of that display, Baldasty said.

"We're not hiding it," he said. "We'll have that out so people can see that, too."

There aren't any suspects in the case — though the general assumption is that someone from The Daily opened it one or more times between 1976-80, said communication alumni and development manager Victoria Sprang.

Opening it would have been no easy task, Sprang said. The capsule was sealed by 36 bolts that require a special tool to remove — it is also in a well-traveled hallway, so it would have been difficult to break in without drawing attention.
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"I am so impressed that whoever did that kept quiet for so many years," Sprang said.

Both Sprang and Baldasty wonder if the prankster or pranksters will reveal themselves.

All of the content will be on display from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday in Room 104 of the Communications Building.

Prank? Maybe, just maybe, Larry Flint's controversial time travel experiments bore fruit!

Mainstream media! Oh how they miss the real story...

BOJ

The Houston Texans select DT Amobi Okoye of Louisville.

Last year the Texans selected a DT with the first pick in the draft. It's not a bad place to start building a team, you with Mario Williams not working out exactly as planned, (certainly not as well as Reggie Bush) you have to wonder what both of their fans think.

It's after noon, I have to grab a bite to eat, take a shower and get ready for work.

You're on your own...

BOJ

The Miami Dolphins select WRTed Ginn of Ohio St.

Holy cow! Not Brady Quinn!

The Dolphins make a pick of a good player, albeit one stupid enough to injure himself celebrating in the National Championship game.

Miami must really like his enthusiasm...

BOJ

The Atlanta Falcons select DE Jamaal Anderson of Arkansas.

A great athlete, a WR in high school so he has speed. This could turn out to be a great pick, but I wonder:

The Falcons traded picks with Houston and gave up backup QB Matt Schaub, couldn't they gave gotten Anderson at #10?

They may have given up a starting quality QB for nothing.

BOJ

The Minnesota Vikings select RB Adrian Peterson of Oklahoma.

I'm not sold on this guy, but he goes to a good situation for a RB. Good line, good running team. They better be, they can't throw the ball...

BOJ

The Washington Redskins select LaRon Landry of LSU.

The 'Skins now potentially have the best pair of safties in the NFL. This kid is that good, the best defensive player in the draft.

Brady Quinn ro the Vikings next?

BOJ

The Arizona Cardinals select OT Levi Brown of Penn St.

Joe Thomas was the best lineman available, but Levi Brown is a close (closer than mosty people think) second. The Cards need to protect last years top pick, Matt Leinaart, so this pick is probably perfect.

I'm not completely sold on the Cards next year, but this is a good start in building a contender.

BOJ

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers select DE Gaines Adams of Clemson.

A good and frankly quite expected pick. However, in Simeon Rice, the Bucs already have a player like Adams. The Bucs were trying to move Rice before the draft, look for that to happen today.

Adams is a speed rusher who will fit in well in Tampa's D philosophy. Rookie of the year?

BOJ

The Cleveland Browns select OT Joe Tohomas of Wisconsin.

I'm not going to use the "plus him in at left tackle for the next ten years" cliche', but, well, I don't know how to ene this sentence,,,

Great, great pick. QB Brady Quinn was the popular pick here, but the Browns already have a young and servicable QB in Charlie Frye, so going with the Wisconsin behmoth makes a lot of sense. He would have been a great pick with either of the preivious two picks.

And in the draft's coolest story, Joe Thomas isn't even in New York, he's off fishing with his dad!

BOJ

The Detroit Lions select WRCalvin Johnson from Georgia Tech.

Johnson is the best player in this draft, maybe the best player to come out of college in the last ten years. He goes to a Lions team that has now selected a WR with their first pick in 4 of the last 5 years. It took guts to take this player.

Their was much speculation that the Lions would trade down, but it looks like it didn't happen. Still, look for the Lions to make some trades today, they need bodies.

Johnson goes to a team with an offensive coordinator who knows how to use a player with his skills. Look for him to make an impact as a rookie.

BOJ

The Oakland Raiders select QB JaMarcus Russell of LSU.

Russell will be a bust, at least initially. He will be forced to start for the Raiders immediately in a brutal AFC West, for a team with a suspect offensive line and receivers who lack any desire to play in Oakland.

His upside in unmistakeable, physically he's amazing, in the right system he could thrive, but being forced to start for the worst team in football may ruin him. I hope not, but it looks like it's going to happen.

BOJ

It was a publicity stunt for a company providing zero gravity flights to the general public, but, damnit, Steven Hawking was in zero gravity. It's just plain right for so many reasons.

BOJ

Promoting a 1993 gig at Antone's in Austin, Texas. Hard to believe that the lovely Ms. Foley was making music 14 years ago, but se was.

For the record, Lou Ann Barton is also very cool, but she doesn't get a weekly feature on this blog.

Editorial decision.

BOJ

Labels: Sue Foley Photo Friday

Years ago, it seems, when I was playing a lot more music than I do now, I was in a church group. This was fun for a lot of reasons, one being that we played on Sunday mornings, and I played with TSA at the Cheers Open Mic on Sunday nights, doing songs like Vibrator Dependent and Two Condoms.

Doing the church music things, we opened for an act called Lost and Found. I don't really care for Christian pop music, I generally find it a little bit creepy. Lost and Found was anything but. It was fun music from a specifically Lutheran point of view.

Lost and Found did a lot of great music that day, never heavy handed, always fun, usually with a nice message. My favorite song of that day was The Lutheran Song. Like I Know All The Presidents in Order, it's a simple song based on a list. As a poor songwriter, I've attempted this type of thing and I've never been able to pull it off. Lost and Found does so marvelously.

Lyle Lovett, John Mellencamp, Ace Frehley of KISS
St. Olaf, Henry Muhlenberg, Gustavus Adolphus
'89 and 1992's Miss America
Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, William Rehnquist, we swear-ica
Bruce Willis, Lonnie Anderson, David Hasselhoff
William Hurt, William H. Macey, Kris Kristofferson are Lutherans
And on the late night TV screen, Andy Richter could tell somebody "what does this mean"

Steve Jobs of the Apple computer
Gary Larson of the Far Side cartoon
Three different astronauts who flew shuttles toward the moon
Dave Winfield and NASCAR's Dales, Earnhardt and Jarrett, each had an acolyte gown and were happy to wear it

Tim Johnson, Fritz Hollings, Paul Simon and Ed Meece all have been known to sing a little "this is the feast"
You know who likes his potluck dinner? Troy Aikman the Super Bowl winner
Governers of Indiana, Minnesota, Wyoming, Kansas, Idaho, Montana and Tennessee
And Pachabel, with a Canon In D

And Woody from Cheers and Cindy McTee these all sing a little Lutheran liturgy

Elke Sommer, Martin Marty and Lucas Cranach, The Old
Albert Swietzer, Soren Kierkegaard and Dag Hammerskold
Sally Struthers, Anne Margaret, and J.A.O. Preuss
Mary Hart, Garrison Keiller, Lake Wobegon's voice

Liv Ullman, Tom Landry, Professor Pelliken whose name is Jaroslav
Pauls -- Gerhardt, Manz, Meir and Stormin' Norman Schwartzkopf
Robert Cade, the Gatorade maker
Johannes Keppler and Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Martin Luther wasn't born a Lutheran and that might be a shock, but Mark Hansen was, April Larson and Johann Sebastian Bach

There are foods that Lutherans adopt, for example, the pretzel
Dana Carvey is a Lutheran, now "isn't that special?"
Yes, these all are Lutherans but still only just a few
The most notable Lutherans of all are every single one of you!

Makes me smile every time I hear it.

BOJ

From The Western Telegraph:

Woman ‘Tricked Into Sex’ by Penis Cream Treatment

A Syrian-born airline pilot allegedly tricked a schoolteacher from Haverfordwest into having sex with him by pretending he had to administer ointment on the end of his penis, a jury heard yesterday (Tuesday).

Fadi Sbano, 38, even pretended to know a gynaecologist who advised him on how often to have intercourse with her and whether to thrust "slowly or quickly". And, on the "doctor's advice", he kept a clock on the bedside table to time the sessions.

The teacher put up with the treatment for nine months before telling her doctor.
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Huw Rees, prosecuting, told Swansea crown court: "The allegations here are of rape by deception."

Mr Rees said the pair met while Sbano was based at Gatwick and the teacher was working nearby.

In November, 2000, she discovered a rash of white spots and feared that typhoid, which she contracted on holiday some years before, had returned.

Sbano claimed he was in talks with a gynaecologist who was anxious for a certain cream to be applied, the prosecutor said.

"He (Sbano) suggested he would apply the cream to his penis and apply it inside her.

Mr Rees said the woman found the sessions "Clinical, not at all erotic". She consented only because she believed it was a proper treatment.

"When the insertions took place, and depending on the instructions of his friend, he would thrust slowly or quickly for anything from one to ten minutes,"

Her doctor told her to find out the identity of Sbano's gynaecologist friend but he "became evasive and never gave his name" beyond the word "Ibby".

"It began to dawn on her that he had devised this treatment in order to have sex with her on his terms."

Mr Rees said "Ibby" was traced but said he knew nothing about the treatment.

Sbano was arrested at Heathrow while attending a pilots' training facility.

He claimed the woman had invented the entire story about the "treatment".

Sbano, from Harrow, London, denies nine charges of rape and 11 or obtaining money by deception.

The trial continues.

Once maybe, but for 9 months? Where do I find stupid woment like this?

BOJ

I couldn't think of anything I could possibly care less about"

Rosie O'Donnell Leaving ABC's 'The View'

By DAVID BAUDER
AP Television Writer

NEW YORK -- Her tenure short but hardly sweet, Rosie O'Donnell said Wednesday she will leave "The View" in June after less than a year of feuds, headlines and higher ratings for ABC.

The opinionated host said she and ABC couldn't agree on a new contract -- she wanted one more year, ABC wanted to lock her up for three. So she decided to leave, although she will appear occasionally next season for things like a planned one-hour special on autism.

O'Donnell made more than $3 million for her season on "The View." ABC was willing to spend more to keep her, but wanted a three-year deal so it didn't have to worry about O'Donnell as a potential competitor. She could easily command her own talk show for much more money: She was making some $30 million a year before "The Rosie O'Donnell Show" shut down in 2002.

"It just didn't work," she said on the show Wednesday, "and that's show biz. But it's not sad because I loved it here and I love you guys and I'm not going away."

O'Donnell has helped increase the chat show's audience by about a half-million a day. But her outspokenness has caused continual controversy, including a nasty name-calling feud with Donald Trump that placed "The View" creator Barbara Walters squarely in the middle.

"We have had, to say the least, an interesting year," Walters said. But she said O'Donnell's exit is "not my doing or my choice."

Walters was frequently left to clean up the damage after O'Donnell. She did it most recently Monday, when O'Donnell was criticized for using bad language and attacking Rupert Murdoch from the dais of the annual New York Women in Communication awards luncheon.

Saying she was "very fond" of Murdoch, Walters pointed out that "Rosie's view is not always mine."

In the Trump imbroglio, O'Donnell was reportedly mad that Walters did not come more swiftly to her defense, while Trump said Walters told him she didn't want O'Donnell on the show -- a claim Walters denied.

Trump quickly went on Fox News Channel Wednesday to claim that O'Donnell was fired by ABC because of remarks made at the Women in Communications luncheon.

"Barbara's the happiest person in the world that Rosie's been fired," Trump said.

Cindi Berger, spokeswoman for both O'Donnell and Walters, denied Trump's claim, wondering how he would know what had happened in contract talks between O'Donnell and ABC.

Illustrating their dynamic, Walters blanched on Wednesday's show when O'Donnell teased her for complaining about blocked sidewalks near her home because of a visit by President Bush. The war, Hurricane Katrina, illegal wiretapping didn't bother her, "but put up a barricade near Barbara Walters' house and there's hell to pay!"

"The Rosie-Babs relationship is like Prince Charles and Princess Diana's -- fascinating and rather horrifying to watch, but ultimately not really good for any of the principals involved," said Debby Waldman, a regular watcher of "The View" from Edmonton.

Despite controversy -- or maybe because of it -- O'Donnell was good business for ABC, owned by the Walt Disney Co. Through mid-April, "The View" has averaged 3.5 million viewers since O'Donnell joined, up 17 percent over the same period last year, according to Nielsen Media Research.

Bill Carroll, an expert in the syndication market for Katz Television, said he's inclined to believe the explanation that it was a contract dispute that ended O'Donnell's stay. If ABC was fearful of what she would say, O'Donnell wouldn't be kept on the air until June, he said.

The timing of the announcement doesn't particularly suit O'Donnell if she wants to remain in daytime television. She wouldn't be able to introduce a new program to the syndication market until September 2008, he said. But the company that produced O'Donnell's long-running daytime show has expressed interest in having her back, he said.

O'Donnell has discussed acting on the FX show, "Nip/Tuck." But she has not decided what she wants to do in TV in the future, Berger said.

O'Donnell made headlines repeatedly for comments on "The View," and for testy exchanges with her more conservative partner, Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

She criticized "American Idol" in January for airing humiliating auditions. "Isn't that what America thinks of entertainment? To make fun of someone's physical appearance. And when they leave the room, laugh hysterically at them. Three millionaires, one probably intoxicated."

She accused fellow ABC daytime host Kelly Ripa of making a homophobic remark, said "radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America" and has frequently been critical of President Bush. Asian-Americans and Catholics also have seethed over her remarks.

Her departure is a real challenge for "The View." O'Donnell was clearly the show's centerpiece, and she had replaced Meredith Vieira, who was effectively the moderator.

ABC needs someone well-known to step in, Carroll said. "It would be difficult, in my judgment, to try to replace Rosie," he said. "The best course of action would be to find someone who would be similar to what Meredith was.

BOJ

Labels: Pointless Shit

Don't get me wrong, I have plenty to bitch about in my life. I'm having a harder and harder time working my self up in my classic MBW mode.

I just read an old friend's blog. He's not writing as much as he used to. Until recently he was a full time musician. He's still a musician, a songwriter wtih skills that make me horribly jealous, a stage presence who can command the attention of a crowd. He's stil a musician, but he's taken a full time job. He's also writing a newspaper column that's every bit as entertaining as his blog was in it's heyday, but we used to get a funny and compelling blog post almost every day.

I like to think that I wrote a funny and compelling blog post almost every day. I like to think I still can, but who knows. I do know that I've taken a full time job while writing this blog. I used to spend an hour or more on blogging every single day. The other blog took about as much time though I didn't post to it every day. I hardly post to it at all anymore, though that's more from me not sitting around and watching CNN all day.

Because I have a job.

I've had other MBW's about my job before, but this is simply about a job interfering with the things I really want to do. It's not this job, it's any job. If I got that dream job at The Onion I'd be bitching about how much time it takes and how I'm not able to do the things I want to do and how I have to live in Wisconsin.

Let's face it, no matter what my condition, I'm going to bitch. I've now bitched about having a job and not having a job. I've bitched about having too much time and not having enough time.

Some people will never be happy.

BOJ

Labels: Mega-Bitch Wednesday

First of all, my apologies for not having a Positive Tuesday. It's not that I don't have anything positive going on in my life right now, it's just that I find it hard to get inspired enough to write anything about it.

For much the same reason, I can't really give you an MBW either. Lots of shitty stuff going on in my life right now, but I can't really get psyched up enough to write something compelling about it.

I do have something planned for Pointless Shit tomorrow.

Stay tuned.

BOJ

Labels: Mega-Bitch Wednesday, Positive Tuesday

It was a bad week for entertaining spam. There was some funny porn related stif, but I try to keep that to a minimum her:

From: "Pack, Duane"
Date: April 23, 2007 2:09:43 PM MDT
To: boj@bresnan.net
Subject: Wanted:Phone processors

Spring has sprung, the warmer weather is comming and time to make some changes.

Do you have a telephone? Can you return calls?

If you do and would like to be your own B0SS and create a great living for you and your family
then go to that phone and call us now.

Listen to our brief message and see what all the excitement is about.

1-800-599-0994

You may call anytime of day or night. So go ahead just have a listen it certainly is worth it.

Regards


By the way if its not for you then reply back to let us know.

Have A Great Day

Just what is all the excitement about? Bugging people at home! Duane Pack and I have different ideas about excitement...

BOJ

Labels: Spam of the Week

I'm a big fan of knowledge for knowledge's sake. It's never a waste to know something. Anything. Knowledge is a great thing, having stuff in your brain, trivia if you will, is a good thing.

Something that's nearly as good, though, is the ability to retreive information. Searches. Web searches. In my opinion, web based searching is one of many things that kids should be learning in school. The information is all out there somewhere, being able to find it efficiently is the next big skill.

I get so many hits on this blog from search engines, generally inefficient searches that accidentally get bewildered readers to The Globex Corporation Newsletter. Thanks for stopping by folks, but you won't find any nude photos of Scarlett Johansen here, sorry.

The beauty of web searches is that it helps to have some knowledge about the subject you're searching. Looking for info on the B-52 Stratofortress? It would help to know that the aircraft was built by Boeing, was used in the Vietnam War and Iraq, was deployed by the Strategic Air Command during the cold war, was referred to as the "Buff," etc. Any of those pieces of information could help you find exactly what you're looking for.

Slick over at Broken Machines mentioned tonight that wherever he is on Wikipedia, he tries to see how few links it takes him to get back to Cheyenne, Wyoming.

It was a slow night at work, so we thought it might be fun to turn it into a competition, but we expanded it a bit. Instead of just trying to get back to Cheyenne, we would start with a sort of random Wiki-page and try to get to another wiki-page. Like see who could get from Zeus to Darryl Strawberry the fastest. That's fastest in time, though another contest might be who could make it in the fewest links.

We came up with a couple of basic rules:

1. Stay entirely within Wikipedia


2. Use only links on a Wikipedia page, i.e. no using the "back" button


3. Use of the "find text" function on a page is permitted

This is a great game for so many reasons. First, it rewards good search techniques. It also rewards someone for knowledge they already have. For instance, I had to go from Ireland to Vlad the Impaler tonight. I scanned my brain for everything I knew on Vlad the Impaler. He was also known as Dracula, he lived in Transylvania, Transylvania is in Romania, Romania, like Ireland, is in Europe. Run that in the reverse order, and that's how I connected the two. Effective search techniques plus a little knowledge allowed me to do it quickly.

We did a quick search on the way out the door, we aren't alone in the idea, we found a post from January 7th of this year about two people who do the same thing. That's OK, it's a fun game, and I suggest you give it a try!

BOJ

With Doyle Redland

Terry Gilliam Barbecue Plagued By Production Delays

Listen to the story here.

What, no mention of Brazil? The Onion is great and all, but they really need to get less mainstream in their movie references.

BOJ

Labels: Stuff From The Onion

I received a dinner invitation this week. It was something I was looking forward to, I was asked if I would make some cornbread which I gladly did, I like to help out where I can.

I went downstairs at the appointed time yesterday. I immediately noticed that there were 4 places set at the table, but tried not to assume anything. There was realistically only one other person who would have been invited and a few minutes later the other guest arrived.

Blog policy doesn't allow me to write about the other guest, personal policy doesn't allow me to talk to her. I can tell you what I did, however. I went back upstairs and took a shower.

Now I'm not happy about how this worked out. I'd like to have had dinner with two of my three neighbors, but the third made my enjoyment impossible. Had I stayed, nobody would have had a good time.

I can't blame anyone but myself for this happening. I don't talk about the offending guest. Ever. I don't talk about why or how much I hate this person. It's between the two of us. It would be unacceptable for me to bring out my laundry list of the reasons I will not have any contact with the offending guest. I would never do that in front of two of her friends. That wouldn't be fair.

Had I made it clear, I wouldn't have been invited, or she wouldn't have been invited. I didn't, though, so I had to take what ever happened. And my only option at that point was to simply leave. I wish things hadn't happened this way, but they did.

This has been incredibly difficult to write. I do not write about the offending guest, it's my policy, but she's made it quite clear that she doesn't want me to. It's nearly impossible to write this post without getting into the reasons why I feel the way I do, and I probably didn't do a very good job of it.

I have asked this neighbor not to speak to me. At first she refused (fucking refused!). She eventually came around and has respected my wishes the times we have run into each other since. Having dinner with this person would have been uncomfortable for not just me, but everyone else at the table. I stand by my decision.

BOJ

Labels: Generic Bitch

Yes, Ben Folds Video Week has been a magical time for us all, but did you really think I'd forget Sue Foley Photo Friday? It's the cornerstone upon which The Globex Corporation Newsletter is built.

Sue is a fine songwriter, I prefer Ben, but Ben has never written anything like the following from Make It Reel:

Don't just screw me
Baby sock it to me...

...and even if he did, well, it wouldn't have the same impact on me.

BOJ

Labels: Sue Foley Photo Friday

Every man has written his own version of this song. BFF recorded it...



And with that we end Ben Folds Video Week.

BOJ

From NFL.com:

ATLANTA (April 19, 2007) -- Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick has teamed up with the United Way to donate $10,000 to assist families affected by the massacre at Virginia Tech, his former school.

"When tragic things like this happen, families have enough to deal with, and if I can help in some small way, that's the least I can do," said Vick, who played for the Hokies before being drafted No. 1 overall by the Falcons in 2001.

The Vick Foundation is collecting donations from local communities in both Atlanta and Virginia that will be placed in the United In Caring Fund for Victims of the VA Tech Tragedy and the special fund at the United Way of Montgomery, Radford and Floyd counties, which serves the Virginia Tech area.

Vick's foundation said the money will be used to provide help with funeral expenses, transportation for family members and other support services.

While I don't want to put down anyone's generosity in a case like this, it should be known that Vick's 2005 salary was about 23.1 million dollars. While $10,000 is a sizable sum, if I gave the same percentage of my salary to families of the Virginia Tech shooting victims, I would give slightly more than 15 dollars

BOJ

Labels: Generic Bitch

Songs for Silverman is Ben's latest release (not counting the repackaging of his three EP's into an album). While still adventurous musically it marks a return to the basic Piano/Bass/Drums format of BFF. There are numerous standout tracks on this album, but I keep coming back to Landed. Being divorced, I can really relate to a song about making up with your firends after getting out of a relationship with a controlling bitch.



The main reason I picked this video was Ben throwing his stool at the piano when the song is done. How cool is that?

BOJ

Ben followed up the Rockin' the Suburbs CD with an excellent live CD, Ben Folds Live. That was followed by a series of EP's available on iTunes. All U Can Eat is a cut from Sunny 16 performed at Ben's MySpace Gig.



Very typical of Ben's music. I like the conversational style, it's not that he's singing to us, but more like he's having a conversation with us. I'm constantly amazed at how he does this so successfully.

BOJ

I am a whore

Ben's first solo album was called Rockin' the Suburbs. Ben is still Ben lyrically, but musically he's breaking new ground here. As he started on Reinhold Meissner, he's broken away from the Piano/Bass/Drums format is adding a lot of varied instrumentation.

The title track is a sarcastic look at the music scene, the angry white guy music of the day. Angry white guys from the suburbs.



Yes, that's "Weird" Al Yankovic in the video. Al directed this video (actually he's an accomplished video director for many differet artists), but has colaborated with Ben on a couple of occasions. Ben played piano on Al's Why Does This Always Happen to Me,, Al sings on Ben's Time. An unexpected musical pairing that actually works pretty well. Maybe I'll get into the whole William Shatner thing later...

BOJ

BOJ Note: I found a lot of cool Ben Folds stuff on YouTube this week, enough to do a week's worth of stuff... which is exactly what I'm going to do. So for the next week on The Globex Corporation Newsletter it's Ben Folds Video Week.

Ben is a very accesible artist. His MySpace site is an excellent fan resource. Last year, Ben performed live in Nashville and allowed fans to make requests via MySpace.

This is from that concert, a BFF song called Army performed with his new trio and the audience. Army was from BFF's third release, The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Meissner, the bands biggest, most ambitious project. The song featured a horn section. When Ben started perfroming solo, the horn break in this song was missing, so he had the audience fill in.



I always liked this song, though it was quite different than everything BFF had done to that point. It includes what I think is Ben's finest lyric:

,Cuz my peers they criticze me
And my ex-wives all despise me
Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past
Is nipping at my heels...

Excellent work. On to more of Ben's solo career tomorrow.

BOJ

BOJ Note: I found a lot of cool Ben Folds stuff on YouTube this week, enough to do a week's worth of stuff... which is exactly what I'm going to do. So for the next week on The Globex Corporation Newsletter it's Ben Folds Video Week.


First up on Ben Folds Video Week is the song Philosphy from a Ben Folds Five performance on the British Show Later with Jools Holland. Philosphy is a standout cut from the trio's self titled first album. This song is indicative of the early BFF sound, a lot of sound from just 3 people.



Tomorrow we'll move onto Ben as a solo act.

BOJ

Last week's was on the small side, this week I give you Sue Foley in 500 X 667 pixel glory!

BOJ

Labels: Sue Foley Photo Friday

Nicknames are so stupid, especially when you give them to yourself...

Almond Capital of the World — Sacramento, California, USA

Almond Capital of the World — Chico, California, USA

Apple Capital of the World — Wenatchee, Washington, USA

Apricot Capital of the World — Patterson, California, USA

Artichoke Center of the World — Castroville, California, USA

Avocado Capital of the World — Fallbrook, California, USA

Barbecue Capital of the World — Lexington, North Carolina, USA

Blueberry Capital of the World — Oxford Nova Scotia, Canada

Bluebird Capital of the World — Bickleton, Washington, USA

Broccoli Capital of the World — Greenfield, California, USA

Carrot Capital of the World — Ohakune, New Zealand

Celery Capital of the World — Arvada, Colorado, USA

Cherry Capital of the World — Traverse City, Michigan, USA

The Collar City — Troy, New York, USA

Cowboy Capital of the World — Oakdale, California, USA

Curtain Rod Capital of the World — Sturgis, Michigan, USA

Date Capital of the World — Indio, California, USA

Diamond Capital of the World — Antwerp, Belgium

Drunk Driving Capital of the World — Gallup, New Mexico, USA

Extreme Sports Capital of the World — Queenstown, New Zealand

The Flour City (formerly) — Rochester, New York, USA

Flower Capital of the World — Aalsmeer, the Netherlands

The Flower City (currently) — Rochester, New York, USA

The Garden City — Newton, Massachusetts, USA

Garlic Capital of the World — Gilroy, California, USA

Entertainment Capital of the World — Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

Grape Capital of the World — Lodi, California, USA

Gumboot Capital of the World — Taihape, New Zealand

Hay Capital of the World — Gayville, South Dakota, USA

Hay Capital of the Universe — Meckling, South Dakota, USA

Hog Butcher to the World — Chicago, Illinois, USA

Horseradish Capital of the World — Tulelake, California, USA

Hubcap Capital of the World — Pearsonville, California, USA

Indoor Foliage Capital of the World — Apopka, Florida, USA

Jackalope Capital of the World — Douglas, Wyoming, USA

Iris Capital of the World — Keizer, Oregon, USA

Kiwifruit Capital of the world — Te Puke, New Zealand

Lake Trout Capital of the World — Geneva, New York, USA

Loader/Backhoe Capital of the World — Burlington, Iowa, USA

Logging Capital of the World — Forks, Washington, USA

Mule Capital of the World — Columbia, Tennessee, USA

News Capital of the World — Washington D.C., USA

Oil Pipeline Crossroads of the World — Cushing, Oklahoma, USA

Oil Capital of the World — Houston, Texas

Pear Capital of the World — Kelseyville, California

Pizza Capital of the World — Naples, Italy

Pottery Capital of the World — Marshall, Texas

Raisin Capital of the World — Selma, California, USA

Raisin Capital of the World - Fresno, California, USA

Rodeo Capital of the World — Cody, Wyoming, USA

Rose Capital of the World — Tyler, Texas, USA

Scuba diving Capital of New Mexico — Santa Rosa, New Mexico, USA

Silver Capital of the World — Taxco, Mexico

Slaughterhouse to the World — Chicago, Illinois, USA

Snowmobile Capital of Colorado — Granby, Colorado, USA

Speck Capital of the World — Bolzano, Italy

Steel Capital of the World — Sheffield, Yorkshire, England

Strawberry Capital of the World — Oxnard, California, USA

Stove Capital of the World — Cleveland, Tennessee,

Streaking Capital of the World — Knoxville, Tennessee, USA

Submarine Capital of the World — Groton, Connecticut, USA

Taconite Capital of the World — Mountain Iron, Minnesota, USA

Television Capital of the World — Tijuana, Mexico

Windsurfing Capital of the World — Hood River, Oregon, USA

Wine Capital of the World — Bordeaux, France

Winter Strawberry Capital of the World — Plant City, Florida, USA

Good thing there's no disagreement on any of these...

BOJ

Labels: Pointless Shit

DeCadence (an A Cappella group at UC Berkeley) sings Ben Folds' version of Bitches Ain't Shit. Now I miss not being in choir in high school.

Bitches Ain't Shit

Bitches ain't shit, bitches ain't shit
Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Lick on these nuts and suck the dick
Lets get the fuck out after you're done
And I hops in my ride to make a quick run...
I used to know a bitch named Eric Wright
We used to roll around and fuck the hoes at night
Tighter than a mutharfuckin' gangsta beats
And we was ballin' on the muthafuckin' Compton streets

Peep that shit, got deep and it was on
Number one song after number one song
Long as my muthafuckin' pockets was fat
I didn't give a fuck where the bitch was at
But she was hangin' with a white bitch doin' the shit she do
Suckin' on his dick just to get a buck or two
And the ends that she got meant nothin'
Now she's suing cuz the shit she be doin' ain't shit

Bitches can't hang with the streets
She found herself short
Now she's takin' me to court
That's some real conversation for your ass

I once had a bitch named Mandy May
Used to be up in them guts like everyday
The pussy was the bomb, had a nigga on sprung
I was in love like a muthafucka lickin' the protung
The homies used to tell me that she wasn't no good
But I'm the maniac in black, Mr. Snoop Eastwood
So I figure niggas wouldn't trip with mine
Guess what? Got gaffled by one time

I'm back in the muthafuckin' county jail
Six months on my chest, now it's time to bail
I get's released on a hot sunny day
My nigga D.O.C. and my homey Dr Dre
Scooped in a coupe, Snoop we got the news
Your girl was trickin' while you was draped in your county blues
I ain't been out a second
Now I already gotta do
Some muthafuckin chin checkin

Move up the block as we groove down the block
See my girl's house, Dre, pass the glock
Kick in the door, I look on the floor
It's my little cousin Daz and he's fuckin' my hoe
I uncocked my shit...
I'm heart-broke but I'm still locked
Man, fuck that bitch!
...3,...4,...

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks
Lick on these nuts and suck the dick
Gets the fuck out after you're done
And I hops in my ride to make a quick run...
I used to know a bitch named Eric Wright
We used to roll around and fuck the hoes at night
Tighter than a mutharfuckin' gangsta beats
And we was ballin' on the muthafuckin' Compton streets

Peep that shit got deep and it was on
Number one song after number one song
Long as my muthafuckin' pockets was fat
I didn't give a fuck where the bitch was at
But she was hangin' with a white bitch doin' the shit she do
Suckin' on his dick just to get a buck or two
And the ends that she got meant nothin'
Now she's suing cuz the shit she be doin' ain't shit

Bitches can't hang with the streets
She found herself short
So now she's takin' me to court
That's some real conversation for your ass
Bitches can't hang with the streets
Bitches can't hang with the streets
Bitches can't hang with the streets
Bitches can't hang with the streets

BOJ

[Nameless Company] Details Exec Pay

I imagine a $1250 insurance deductible wouldn't mean much to them...

BOJ

Labels: Mega-Bitch Wednesday

I can honestly say that I'm a professional kazoo player. I have been paid to play the kazoo in public situations. Kazoo!

It's amazing what people will pay you to do for money these days. I bought an iPod this week and I was trying to figure out how to put video on it today. I put this on it. To remind me.

The funny thing is that I've been paid more than once for doing this. I did it once, it went over well, and I was paid to do it again. Amazing.

BOJ

Labels: Positive Tuesday

Ben Folds - B****** Ain't S***

BOJ

I've been voting for Martha Stewart constantly for the past 72 hours, but I haven't received my $100,000 kitchen makeover. I do seem to be getting more spam.

I wonder if the two are related?

BOJ

Labels: Spam of the Week

With Doyle Redland

Spelling-Bee Winner Fails To Spell Way Out Of Schoolyard Beating

Listen to the story here.

Once againg, The Onion, is so right I can freakin' taste it.

BOJ

Labels: Stuff From The Onion

I'm 3 bottles (12oz.) of the homebrewed cream ale and half a bottle (22oz.) of Breckenridge Oatmeal Stout in and I can confirm that I still really like beer.

This is one of those cases that I like the beer that I made a whole lot better than something I bought in a store (on clearance). The cream ale is better than expected, and the closet I brewed it in allowed me to keep the temperature under 60 F. for the entire brewing process. I only hope the bourbon barrel porter is half as good. I have a suspiscion that it will be.

Yours in Zymurgical Bliss,
BOJ

From The Register:

'Thorough' search foils cunning plan

A Ukranian woman failed in a bold attempt to smuggle marijuana from New Delhi to Kiev, despite hiding her stash in a vibrator's battery compartment on the grounds that "no

A Drug Smuggling Device

one would ever think of touching it, let alone looking inside it".

According to Ananova, 26-year-old Svetlana Ivanyshka was cuffed after being asked to empty her suitcases at Kiev airport "after guards got a tip off that a young woman on her flight from New Delhi was carrying drugs".

The dope was quickly discovered, prompting a police spokeswoman to say: "She was obviously unaware of how thorough our officers are in their searches."

BOJ

Not Tina Fey Photo Saturday is not a regular featured of The Globex Corporation Newsletter, if anything, it's an extremely irregular feature of this blog.

Have a nice Saturday. I'll be at work, but I bet most of you accomplish more than me today...

BOJ

Nice photo, a little small for my tastes, but it will have to do.

BOJ

Labels: Sue Foley Photo Friday

Asumpcion, PARAGUAY - At a great event produced by Promociones Gloria, Maria Jose Maldonado, a 22 year-old Law studend, was crowned Miss Paraguay and will go on to represent her country at the Miss Universe pageant.

The first runner-up, Maria de la Paz Vargas is expected to compete at Miss World 2007, while Daiana Ferreira, shall travel to Japan, where she will try her luck at Miss International 2007.

Last year's Miss Paraguay, Lourdes Arevolos, was the 3rd runner-up at the Miss Universe pageant.

BOJ

Labels: Pointless Shit

No, things haven't gone that well for me since moving to the "Cowboy State." It's been pretty shitty since day 1:

First Day at Work - January 2006 - OK, shitty since the second day in Cheyenne. I pull up to the front gate at work and talk to security. They're not expecting me. Nobody, it seems, is expecting me. I wait for about 20 minutes while people figure out what to do with me. After the way [Nameless Company] completely fucked up my interview/hiring process, I've got really good feelings about my employer from day 1.

First Week on Swing Shift - February 2006 - Nobody seems to realize that I'm going to be on this shift. Shit just keeps getting better and better.

Car Trouble - March 2006 - No, I'm not talking about something mundane, like a flat tire, I'm talking about an entire engine that needs to be replaced. While driving back to the RC, my car overheats. The water pump had gone out. This reveals a bigger problem, a head cover bolt has sheared off inside the engine block and cannot be removed. It's obviously been over-torqued. Curious, as I've never had the head off of this engine. A defect at the factory. As I own a 1997 Subaru, it's obviously no longer under warrenty.

New Neighbor - June 2006 - Per blog policy, I'm not allowed to write about this, but she is yet another bad thing that's happened to me since moving to Cheyenne.

Broken Nose - July 2006 - While walking up to Lyon's Park to watch firworks, I fall flat on my face and break my nose. Oh, how I wish this were my worst medical condition to happen to me that year...

Diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis - August 2006 - I guess breaking my nose did one good thing, it lead to ineffectively starting treatment for MS.

Landlord Won't Install Handrail - August 2006 - I live on the second floor. I have Multiple Sclerosis. I'm sorry if it might damage your building, I might break my fucking neck.

Insurance Trouble - August 2006 - Don't fucking get me started. And it fucking gets worse...

MS Treatment Begins - October 2006 - That's right, I begin treatment MORE THAN TWO FUCKING MONTHS AFTER I'M DIAGNOSED!!! My Neurologist did have a conference he had to attend...

More Neighbor Shit - November-December 2006 - Sorry, blog policy...

Performance Review - February 2007 - Actually, considering the company I work for, it wasn't that bad. Then again, a guy who got into a fight with another guy at work, left work sick and got into a fight in a bar that night, came into work drunk on numerous occasions and refused to come to work on numerous occasions continued to have a job after performance reviews. The bar is pretty fucking low, and I was simply rated as "meets expectations," one point away from "exceeds expectations." Thanks, [Nameless Company]! I'll see what I can do to barely meet expectations in the coming year.

Insurance Becomes Really Shitty -March 2007 - In a cost cutting move, [Nameless Compnay] decides to give its employees really shitty insurance options. Mine (the good one) requires a $1,250 deductible and a 20% co-pay after that. We're all so glad that we helped you reach some fucking arbitray goal by the end of 2006. I'm glad our efforts were appreciated.

Neurologists Refuse to See Me - March 2007 - There are two Neruologists on my shitty insurance plan in Cheyenne, one won't take any new patients, the other refuses to take me. Fuck Dr. Mary Kerber, fuck her right up her dirty ass. I have to drive to Ft. Collins to see a neurologist. In a related story, my previous Neurologist was instructed to fax my records to my Neurologist in Colorado. They mailed them instead. The day of my appointment. I arrived long before my records. It was a wasted fucking trip for me. It did help me meet my $1,250 deductible.

Yeah, my life's been a fucking laugh riot since January 2006.

BOJ

Labels: Mega-Bitch Wednesday

My system may not have beem perfect, but it did pick both the Men's and Women's champion!

First Round Results: 18-14
Second Round Results: 9-7
Third Round Results: 6-2
Fourth Round Results: 2-2
National Semifinal Results: 1-1
Men's National Final: 1-0
Women's National Final: 1-0
Overall: 38-26

I rule!

BOJ

Doing research for my list of Top TV Comedies. This is gonna be fun!

BOJ

Labels: Positive Tuesday

Return with me to those heady days of February 2007. It was an optimistic time, we all had high hopes for the new year, and the third Globex List, on the subject of hats, hit the blogosphere. It made us laugh. It made us cry. It made us think.

Now, in whatever month and year this is, it's time for another list. How do you top hats (or tophats)? You don't. That was magical, a once in a lifetime blog experience that simply can't be beat. But like U2 after releasing The Joshua Tree, we have to go on and try to top the definitive blog list of a generation. Maybe our next list will be Zooropa maybe it will be something that's actually good. Either way we have to keep trying.

I considered a lot of different topics for this list. We've done music with guitarists and songwriters, we've done the absurd with hats. Maybe something that splits the difference,something that's absurd and celebrates creativity. With that I give you the next Globex List:

BEST TELEVISION COMEDIES OF ALL TIME

The original idea was sitcoms, but the more I thought about it, the 30 minute sitcom format isn't the only funny television. CBS's Northern Exposure was riotously funny, but didn't fit into the sitcom format. I get more belly laughs out of The O'Reilly Factor on Fox News then I do just about anything else on TV. No, this is a list about television comedies. If it's on TV and you find (or found) it funny, put it on your list.

In the past I've asked folks to provide 10 submissions to their list. Ten is a nice number, it matches the number of fingers most of us have, but it's a completely arbitrary number (like, oh, 14 million). So this time, let's just limit it to 10. Or don't go too much over 10. I'd like 10, but if you can only give me 7, well, that's OK too.

Again, a nice format is a little paragraph explaining your basic philosophy followed by your list with an explanation of why you think each TV comedy deserves such accolades. For example:

BOJ's List

I like television that makes me think, that makes me take a good look at myself. And it has to make me laugh until fluid is expelled from my nose.

10. Star Trek - With a comic sexual tension between Kirk and Spock, this show is hard to beat. And their running gags, like ensigns in red uniform beaming down to a planet. Everyone knew that ensign wasn't coming back, and we all tittered to ourselves when Scotty pulled on those EQ looking things and made the unfrotunate ensign disappear forever....

Something like that.

The Hats list set a Globex List record with 9 entries. Let's beat that!

Email your list to me! You could become a blog celebrity!

BOJ

Florida wins the whole deal. I knew I couldn't pick against a gator. Also, if I picked against Ohio State enough times, they'd eventually lose.

First Round Results: 18-14
Second Round Results: 9-7
Third Round Results: 6-2
Fourth Round Results: 2-2
National Semifinal Results: 1-1
Men's National Final: 1-0
Overall: 37-26

All that's left is the Women's National Final. Go Vols!

BOJ

It occured to me last night that since I'm making my NCAA Tournament picks completely based on which of the teams' mascots would win if they were real and were pitted against each other in combat to the death, that I could make a predicition for the Women's Final that's every bit as valid as my Men's predicition (Florida Gators over Ohio State Buckeyes). So here goes:

Tennessee Volunteers vs. Rutgers Scarlet Knights - Knights wore armor, be it chain or plate mail. One would think that this would give Rutgers an advantage until one remembers that armor of this type fell out of fashion once firearms became plentiful. The armor a knight wears simply isn't capable of stopping a bullet. Volunteers went into battle in a time when firearms were plentiful. This one's pretty simple actually. I don't know why I didn't start this before now...

Tennessee

Also, coach Pat Summitt of Tennessee dressed like a cheerleader at a Tennessee men's game. The men beat Florida. If Summitt pulls out the cheerleader uniform, this one is over. We all know how I feel about cheerleaders...

BOJ

I don't usually do this, but the best spam I got this week was this:

Want your dick to be as giant as a skyscraper? Try Penis Enlarge Patch.

http://www.xxxxxxxx.net/

After Penis Enlarge Patch you cock wont resemble a soft balloon filled with jelly. It will be hard and charming.

You know, I don't know how these spammers know this stuff about me, how they know I want to refinance my mortgage or how how I want a hard and charming penis.

Sure, who doesn't want a dick as giant as a skyscrapper? I lay awake at night thinking about shit like that. But with a simple patch? I'd think for that unbelievable increase in size I'd have to freebase something or at the very least stick a hypodermic in my ass. So penis enlargement just requires a patch that I assume makes it as easy as quitting smoking.

Well, we all know how easy that is....

BOJ

Labels: Spam of the Week

I couldn't resist...

BOJ

Pakistan Cricket Coach Bob Woolmer
1948 - 2007

Email to CNN.com about Bob Woolmer's death:

I fear that the gambling underworld has reared its ugly head to the full extent. International cricket, horse racing or boxing, it doesn't matter. Especially in Asia it can often be a case of accepting bribes or you die. In Bob Woolmer's case he simply may have uncovered some nasty truth. A sad time for cricket and also a sad time for professional sport.

Lane, Malaysia


Events like this are symptomatic of a violent world where the world's only superpower uses military force for its own ends. Sports fans themselves become violent at times.

Ray Orr, Nambour, Queensland, Australia.


The death of Bob Woolmer saddens the world of sports, in particular criket, which made him famous.

It is unfortunate that it happened at the world cricket tournament, which was intended to showcase cricket, and the cooperation and collegiality between participating countries.

Instead, we will all be focus on issues, game fixing, murder etc. Let's hope that the Jamaican police can solve this crime and bring justice! As a Jamaican-American living overseas, I am concerned about the negative press this can bring to Jamaica -- a cricket loving country and a country that depends heavily on tourism.

Sophia Heslop, Germany


Cricket? That's that thing that's sort of like baseball but takes, like, three days to play? That? Who the hell is Bob Woolmer?

Jethro Hatfield, USA


The announcement by the Jamaican police that Pakistani coach Bob Woolmer was murdered does not come as a shock to me. He was the coach of the South Africa cricket team which was implicated for match fixing a couple of years back, including their captain Hansie Cronje. It's a well known fact that match fixing is rampant in the sport mainly in the Indian subcontinent. The ICC can deny the fact but it needs to wake up to the reality. The Subcontinent is the main market for cricket. The telecast rights are sold for billions in this cricket crazy region. With so much money at stake its quite possible that Bob Woolmer was murdered by the Sub continent betting mafia who have been involved in match fixing in the past. Cricket betting is a dirty business.

Parth, Mumbai, India


It is certainly sad thing regarding Bob's death. It again puts a very ugly face on mankind. Regardless of whether he was killed in connection with money or a disappointed fan. Cricket in essence, is a just game - not to die for.

Darren Zimsen


akistan cricket always seems to court controversy. In the past we have had Corruption, match fixing, ball tampering, and now murder. The ICC should kick out Pakistan from world cricket, but unfortunately political correctness will win.

John Miller, London, England

BOJ

We're down to the end folks, the big game. This is it, this is why mascots would be pitted against each other in a battle to the death if they were real. This is what it's all about.

Florida Gators vs. Ohio State Buckeyes - Though they've proven a tough nut to crack (damn, I am a comedy genius!), Ohio St. is still the nut of an undistinguished tree. A gator is ferocious, a natural born, cold blooded (literally) killer. Gators have eaten assorted animals in this tournament. A nut is defenseless. It has no chance. And, to mix metaphors, this one will end like the NCAA National Championship Football game. Ted Ginn Jr. may return the opening kickoff for a touchdown, but Florida will be victorious in the end.

First Round Results: 18-14
Second Round Results: 9-7
Third Round Results: 6-2
Fourth Round Results: 2-2
National Semifinal Results: 1-1
Overall: 36-26

There ain't no more to say.

BOJ