Globex Corporation Newsletter

But.....

I know I'm not the only person involved here, that my feelings aren't the only ones that matter. I know it's probably a bit unfair of me to just go of in a completely unrestrained manner. And I won't, but allow me to indulge myself as there's just one thing I keep coming back to.

You're a Great Guy.....

But.....

I generally talk about one sentence longer than I should. I generally say one more thing, that, if I'd just stopped a sentence (or verse) sooner would have made everything OK.

You're a Great Guy.....

"I'm a Great Guy!?! That's swell, now shut up and let's go play mini-golf..."

It just doesn't work that way. You have to let them finish. Dear lord, I wish you didn't have to let them finish. I am a Great Guy. I already knew that. But you wouldn't be hearing it if something else wasn't going to follow. Something that you don't want to hear, but knew you were going to hear as soon as you found out you were a Great Guy. You even knew it before she said you were a Great Guy, even if you didn't want to admit it to yourself. You knew from the first time you kissed her (or she kissed you), you knew it was going to come down to the same old phrase that you've heard too many fucking times before.

You're a Great Guy.....

But.....

It won't do any good to interrupt, it won't do any good to bargain. No matter what you do, the other shoe is going to drop. No woman has ever called me a Great Guy unless it was followed with But.

The But can be lots of different things. In the end it doesn't really matter, the result is the same in the end.

You're a Great Guy.....

But.....I'm going through a lot of shit right now and I just don't need any more complication in my life. Maybe I'll call you when I get my head out of my ass....

Tara Nelson said that to me in my apartment in Vermillion, SD in August of 1993. She was my first girlfriend after (actually during) my divorce. It was the first of many times a woman has said that to me (the ex-wife didn't ever bother to tell me I was a Great Guy, in fact, she made it pretty clear that she didn't think I was). Tara never did call me, so I can only assume that she never got her head out of her ass. Or that I wasn't actually such a Great Guy in her eyes. I'll assume that she's either still fucked up or that she's a liar.

I could go into every time I found out I was a Great Guy, I could go into every But that was involved. I could detail the one that happened today. I could go into all of the times I lashed out, or chronicle the times I just sat back and took it because I am a Great Guy. That would be counter-productive.

What I didn't really realize until today was that every time a woman has called me a Great Guy an undesired result was soon to follow and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Yelling and screaming felt good for a second, taking it good naturedly showed an amount of class, hoping that things would turn out OK in the future makes you feel better until you realize that nothing is going to change, that the end isn't at some point in the future, the end is right now.

BOJ