Monday, December 31, 2007


NFL Rankings

  1. (1)New England Patriots (16-0)
    They're 16-0, how can they not be #1?

  2. (2)Indianapolis Colts (13-3)
    Does losing when you're not a full strength mean anything?

  3. (4)Green Bay Packers (13-3)
    Beat the Lions, but who doesn't?

  4. (3)Dallas Cowboys (13-3)
    Dropped one to the 'Skins, but what were they playing for?

  5. (5)Jacksonville Jaguars (11-5)
    Did they have anything to play for?

  6. (6)San Diego Chargers (11-5)
    Does their talent finally start to shine through?

  7. (8)Seattle Seahawks (10-6)
    Will they need to run the ball to be successful?

  8. (7)Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6)
    Did a loss to Seattle really mean anything?

  9. (9)New York Giants (10-6)
    Will they play this well against everyone?

  10. (-)Cleveland Browns (10-6)
    How far can you go without playing defense?

OUT OF TOP 10: Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-7)

ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
NBC/MSNBC viewer Power Rankings.



What am I Looking For?

How was my xmas (and I'm not 'x-ing' Christ out of Christmas, the X or "Chi" is the first letter of Christ in Greek, use that against those right wing "war on Christmas" assholes)? It was great, thanks for asking.

I spent the time with [someone] and [her son], traveling to their home on xmas eve, spending xmas with her and her family then heading out for the RC on Wednesday.

The great thing about [someone] is that the more time I spend with her, the more things I find that I like about her. She's visited with my family before, I've seen the way she and Jacobo are with the 4 young-uns (the place is turning into a bit of a zoo). They are both so good with kids, seeing [her son] play with the older two, or [someone] hold one of the babies warms my heart.

We stayed an extra day for the baptism of Taurin Felix and left for Windsor, CO on Sunday morning. It was a beautiful day in the RC when we left. I was not feeling the best when we left, but decided to drive first, getting us as far as Torrington, WY (and a stop for a couple of Taco Bravos at the TJ's). I turned over the controls to [someone] at that point.

I'll admit a lot of guilt at this point. As soon as we left Torrington, the roads got worse. A few miles later, blowing snow started to obscure vision, so much that we slowed to a crawl and were stopped a couple of times by accidents. [someone] kept her calm and cool. It's one more reason for me to be involved with this Colorado girl. Her winter driving skills are excellent!

We crawled into Cheyenne, considered staying at my place for the night, but decided to press on if I-25 was open. It wasn't when we arrived but opened at the exact instant we got to the gates, so we decided to push on to Colorado.

We saw a couple more accidents on I-25, including a jack-knifed double semi tractor trailer rig in the North bound lane that had back traffic up for miles. We got into Widsor without incident though by simply taking a little more time than usual.

Not only did [someone] get me to her place safely, she also made me an excellent and nutritious meal (chicken stir fry with honey over Jasmine rice). The wine flowed freely, of course, and we sort of settled down from the stressful trip. And before bed, I got to watch one of my favorite Futurama episodes, "Roswell That Ends Well".

So here's the deal, I'm with a beautiful woman who loves me, buys and makes me wonderful xmas gifts, visits my family with me, has a wonderful son who does the same, has exceptional winter driving skills, cooks for me and lets me watch cartoons. What else could I posibly be looking for?


Saturday, December 29, 2007


Technology Gifts

Every year I make a calendar, nom not the BOJ News Service Stephanie Herseth as a Cheerleader calendar, but a calendar that contains birthdates of family members and photos from over the years. I appear in the photo to your right as a very small child.

It's a easy if time consuming project. I've had bad luck with printers over the years,though admittedly I'm pretty hard on them. Two have died completely and my current one, an HP model was purchased last November to print the calendar I had beem working on. Being a new model of printer, the drivers for the device required a pretty up to date version of the operating system. I was behind a bit, so to even require the drivers I had to purchase the newest version of Mac OSX.

To use my printer, I had to buy the newest version of Mac OSX.

Right before Christmas.

So I did.

I'm back in the RC for a couple of days. I've spent the past couple of days messing with technology based gifts my parents received. Yesterday it was two digital photo frames. Both were supposed to work with Macs, and do, to a degree, but only work off of a flash memory card even though one has built in, memory. It will be purchasing new flash memory cards to make them work.

Today has been all about digital photo keychains. I went to install the driver software on my folks' old iMac DV computer that they bought in 2001. Since the iMacs have a slot load CD drive, the small format CD's won't work in this computer. Side note to manufacturers: the cost of the materials in a CD is practically nothing, ther is NO REASON to use small fromat CD's FOR ANYTHING1!!! I had a suitable workaround for this problem, but not the next, the driver software required OSX 10.3. My parents are running 10.2.8.

Remember when I needed to update my OS to run my printer? I went out and bought the software. Sure, there was some grumbling, but I knew it had to be done. Updating to anything nearly current seems like a baffling to my parents. They tell me they can do everything they want to now.

I know one thing they can't do now, install the drivers for newly purchased digital photo keychains.

Here's one more problem: I may have come up with a work around. I may have found software that will run the new devices under 10.2.8. I'll save the day, the new toys will work and now OS updates will be undertaken.

Sometimes you can't win...


Friday, December 28, 2007



Tuesday, December 25, 2007


NFL Rankings

  1. (1)New England Patriots (15-0)
    Played a tougher game than anyone expected

  2. (3)Indianapolis Colts (13-2)
    Beat the tough Texans

  3. (4)Dallas Cowboys (13-2)
    Locked up home field through the playoffs

  4. (2)Green Bay Packers (12-3)
    Dropped one on the road in horrible weather conditions

  5. (5)Jacksonville Jaguars (11-4)
    Manhandled the Raiders, this team is just a whisker from the top 4

  6. (6)San Diego Chargers (10-5)
    This team is way dangerous now that they're playing up to their talent level

  7. (8)Pittsburgh Steelers (10-5)
    Another good AFC team

  8. (9)Seattle Seahawks (10-5)
    Third best in the NFC is only good enough for eigth in the league

  9. (-)New York Giants (10-5)
    I don't get this team (see Sunday's post)

  10. (10)Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-6)
    Winners of the NFC South

OUT OF TOP 10: Cleveland Browns (9-6)

ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
NBC/MSNBC viewer Power Rankings.


Sunday, December 23, 2007


NFL Teams I Just Don't Get

I like to think of myself as an astute observer of the National Football League. I get the game, I try not to let my allegiances get in the way. I can enjoy the game no matter who's playing. I like to think I know what's going on and pride myself in seldom being surprised by anything that happens on Sunday.

Still, I don't understand what's going on with the following teams:

  • name
    Minnesota Vikings
    I knew that they'd be able to run the ball, even before they picked Adrian Petersen with their first pick in the draft. The have know quarterback, Tavaris Jackson just isn't the type of player who's going to win games for you.

    Some weeks they look good, some weeks they look bad. I can never tell which team is going to show up. They might make the playoffs. They might finish under .500. So goes life in the NFC.

  • name
    New York Giants
    The main thing I don't understand is how Tom Coughlin is still the coach. His players hate him and question his every decision. They get beat by teams with less talent. They don't have any running backs who are decent. They're going through their traditional late season collapse.

    But they're in the playoffs. As bad as they've played the past few weeks, they'll still be playing football two weeks from today. I honestly don't see how.

  • name
    Cleveland Browns
    They traded their starting quarterback after the first game. That can't be a good sign. Yet they're still in the playoff hunt. They don't play defense, they don't run the ball particularly well, everyone has to know what they're going to do and somehow they're able to do it.

    On top of that, they make a first round, blockbuster draft day deal to get a hometown quarterback who has yet to see any action. Somehow it's all worked out. I can't see how.

  • name
    San Diego Chargers
    With all of the talent on this team, I don't understand why we're not talking about them in the same way we talk about the Patriots. Actually, I do know why we don't, they've lost too many games. How do they manage to lose games?

    Could it have anything to do with them firinga proven winner at coach AFTER their offensive and defensive coordinators took head coaching jobs with other NFL teams? Why didn't their season ticket holders all demand their money back

  • There are probably more, I suppose, but that's enough for now. These were just the ones I've been thinking about all day.



    Chips Down for Bruins at the Finish

    From The LA Times:

    LAS VEGAS -- UCLA players slowly trudged off the field, a well-practiced journey they can do in step from a season of hard knocks.

    A moment before, the Bruins were on the edge of ecstasy, lining up for a game-winning field goal. Then kicker Kai Forbath's 28-yard attempt was tipped and fluttered harmlessly short as time ran out, sending Brigham Young players into wild gyrations after the Cougars' 17-16 victory in The Globex Corporation presents the BOJ News Service Las Vegas Bowl on Saturday in front of 40,712 at Sam Boyd Stadium.

    While the Cougars whooped and hollered, a teary-eyed DeWayne Walker was on his own journey. The Bruins' interim coach walked, head up, to the locker room. Next week, he will be interviewed by UCLA Chancellor Gene Block about the head coaching job.

    A copy of game film might be a handy visual aid.

    The Bruins (6-7) came oh-so-close to taking one final last good memory from a season of too many bad ones. They drove from their own two-yard line to the Cougars' 11 in 1 minute 28 seconds, leaving three seconds for Forbath to knock home his fourth field goal.

    Only Forbath, who had already made kicks of 22, 52 and 50 yards, had this one blocked by Eathyn Manumaleuna.

    "I told the players that life is full of adversity," Walker said. "I think adversity builds character. Whoever the head coach is next year, they are really going to inherit a bunch of good guys."

    That could still be Walker, who will be the third candidate to be interviewed by Block. Baltimore Ravens offensive coordinator Rick Neuheisel and Temple Coach Al Golden interviewed with Block last week.

    UCLA officials are not believed to be interested in interviewing other coaches, at least at this time, according to a source familiar with the search.

    "It's flattering," Walker said of getting the interview. "It just reinforces the things we talk about as a staff. . . . I think it's encouraging. All I can do is what I can do."

    Walker added, "It feels like you're getting the respect of the job that you've done. I appreciate it."

    Athletic Director Dan Guerrero would comment only on the game, but that revolved around Walker.

    "I thought the team played very hard," Guerrero said. "Obviously to have chance to win it at the end, that's pretty much where you want to have your team. It's a reflection of the coaching staff and the seniors and team rallying together."

    Guerrero, standing in the the postseason news conference room, received a message from senior tailback Chris Markey.

    "Hire Coach Walker," Markey said to the media.

    The lobbying continued in the locker room.

    "I pray they give him the opportunity to be the head coach," defensive end Bruce Davis said. "Everybody wants to play for him. He demands excellence, and he gets the maximum effort out of his players."

    The Bruins can cite the game film from Saturday.

    Brigham Young (11-2) took a 17-6 lead as a half filled with mistakes and blunders churned to a finish.

    Quarterback Max Hall fumbled on Brigham Young's first possession, leading to a 22-yard field goal by Forbath. The Bruins' Alterraun Verner was twice called for pass interference to extend a BYU drive that ended in a 29-yard field goal by Mitch Payne. UCLA's Terrence Austin fumbled a punt, giving the Cougars the ball on the Bruins' 14. Hall lofted a touchdown pass to Austin Collie for a 10-3 lead.

    The half was capped when the Cougars had the ball on their own eight with 19 seconds left, but instead of having Hall take a knee, the Cougars ran the ball and UCLA's Brian Price stripped the ball from Harvey Unga.

    McLeod Bethel-Thompson then zipped a four-yard touchdown pass to Brandon Breazell to allow the Bruins to go into the locker down only 17-13.

    Coach Bronco Mendenhall said the decision was offensive coordinator Robert Anae's, but said, "I trust him completely."

    Walker said, "I was surprised. I was very surprised."

    Instead of having to force the issue in the second half, the Bruins were able to grind the ball. Markey gained 117 yards rushing. That UCLA failed to get over the hump was the result of mistakes that have haunted them all season.

    An illegal-motion penalty wiped out a first down. A false start hampered the following drive. The came the last drive and dejection.

    "That one breaks your heart," linebacker Christian Taylor said. "You get all excited, you're going to win it and we get the first kick of the year blocked. It's definitely consistent with this season."

    Still, the season's last game film might be useful.

    Said Walker: "I need to watch at some point. Right now, I think I need to turn the radio up a little bit and just kick back and enjoy my family.



    Michael Vick Hopes Jail Is Like The Longest Yard Without All The Throwing

    From The Onion:

    ATLANTA—Recently convicted Falcons quarterback Michael Vick is hoping that the events of his 23-month prison sentence play out similarly to those portrayed in the 2005 Adam Sandler football comedy The Longest Yard except for the movie's emphasis on passing the ball, sources close to Vick reported Wednesday. "I keep thinking that Mean Machine quarterback dude should just pull the ball down, maybe pump fake it first a couple times, but just pull it down and go around the end
    when the prison guards show blitz up the middle," Vick told friends and family at a pre-trial screening of the film. "He could always chuck it into dude's nutsack after the play was over." Vick was reportedly distraught to learn that, except for the probable presence of Michael Irvin, an actual prison would be nothing like the one in the movie.


    Saturday, December 22, 2007


    Photo Snapped of Patient's Genitalia During Surgery

    Frome The Arizona Republic:

    A Mayo Clinic Hospital surgeon in training used a cellphone to photograph a patient's genitals during surgery and now may face disciplinary action and a patient's attorney.

    Dr. Adam Hansen, chief resident of general surgery at the Phoenix hospital, admitted to Mayo administrators he snapped the photo during a Dec. 11 gallbladder surgery on patient Sean Dubowik, whose penis bears the tattooed slogan, "Hot Rod."

    Dubowik runs a Phoenix topless bar, Centerfolds Cabaret, and said he'd gotten the tattoo on a $1,000 bet.

    "It was the most horrible thing I ever went though in my life," Dubowik said.

    Serious stuff, but the thing that gets me is that a guy tattooed his dork? Wow!



    Bush Acknowledges Existence Of Carbon Dioxide

    From The Onion:

    WASHINGTON—In an unexpected reversal that environmentalists and scientists worldwide are calling groundbreaking, President George W. Bush, for the first time in his political career, openly admitted to the existence of carbon dioxide following the release of the new U.N. Global Environment Outlook this October.

    "Carbon dioxide, a molecule which contains one atom of carbon bonded with two atoms of oxygen, is a naturally occurring colorless gas exhaled by humans and metabolized, in turn, by plants," Bush told a stunned White House press corps. "As a leading industrialized nation, we can no longer afford to ignore the growing consensus of so many experts whose job it is to study our atmosphere. Carbon dioxide is real."

    Because carbon dioxide, which was first described by 17th-century Flemish physician Jan Baptista van Helmont as a gas he referred to as "spiritus silvestre," has long been denied by the Bush administration, the president's speech was widely hailed as a victory for advocates of empirically established scientific fact.

    "This has been a major step forward for national basic-chemistry policy," said longtime CO2 proponent and eighth-grade science teacher Linda Mattson. "By taking this brave stance, Bush has opened the door for the eventual acknowledgment that other molecular compounds, such as H20, for example, may in fact exist as well."

    Many of those whom Bush has long considered to be his most loyal followers, however, have expressed disappointment with the development.

    "There is nothing about any 'carbon dioxide' in the Bible," said Rev. Luke Hatfield of Christchurch Ministries in Topeka, KS. "What's next? Claims that so-called 'fossil' fuels come from mythical creatures like dinosaurs? This has been a sad step backward for our nation."

    A White House spokesman was careful to categorize the announcement as "cautious," and reiterated that the president is still not ready to take any position on the existence of polar ice caps, ozone, or a controversial idea held by many scientists and often referred to as "weather."

    Carbon Dioxide isn't in the Bible. Neither is gravity. Just a little knowledge from your biblical scholar..



    Friday, December 21, 2007


    Breakup Songs

    Quite a while ago, la Güera wrote a post in which she talked some about Ben Folds Five's "Song for the Dumped."

    I've always liked the song, often saying that every man who's ever written a song, probably any man, period, has written pretty much the same song:
    Song for the Dumped
    by Ben Folds and Darren Jessee

    So you wanted to take a break
    Slow it down some and have some space
    Well fuck you too!

    Give me my money back
    Give me my money back, you bitch
    I want my money back

    Wish I hadn't bought you dinner
    Right before you dumped me on your front porch

    Give me my money back
    Give me my money back, you bitch
    I want my money back
    ... and don't forget my black T-shirt

    Juvenile I know, but that's pretty much what I've felt like immediately after every relationship I ever had ended. I felt like I'd wasted my time, my money and I wanted all of my shit back.

    That feeling fades over time, of course, but it's strong and it's so real. I can think back to old breakups today and still feel that feeling to some degree. I suppose it means I cared. I suppose it means I didn't really want the breakup to happen.

    "Song for the Dumped" is a celebrated brealup song from Ben Folds Five's excellent album, "Whatever and Ever, Amen." Oddly, it's not even the best breakup song on the album. In my opinion, that honor belongs to the very next track, "Selfless, Cold and Compossed."
    Selfless, Cold, and Composed
    by Ben Folds

    I said what you wanted to hear
    And what I wanted to say
    So I will take it back
    Are all the dishes in tact
    Let them be broken

    It's easy to be
    Easy and free
    When it doesn't mean anything
    You remain
    Selfless, cold and composed

    You've done me no
    Favor to call and be nice
    Telling me I
    Can take anything I like
    Your don't owe me to be so polite
    You've done no wrong
    You've done no wrong
    Get out of my sight

    It's easy to be
    Easy and free
    When it doesn't mean anything
    To remain
    Selfless, cold and composed

    Come on baby
    Now throw me a right to the chin
    Don't just stare like you never cared
    I know you did
    You just smiled
    Like a bank teller
    Telling me blankly, have a nice life

    Come on baby
    Throw me a right to the chin
    Just one sign
    That could show me that you give a shit
    But you just smile politely
    And I grow weaker and I ...

    Said what you wanted to hear
    And what I wanted to say
    So I will take it back

    It's easy to be
    Easy and free
    When it doesn't mean anything
    When it doesn't mean anything
    You can take anything
    So selfless, cold and composed

    Imagine, you break up with someone and they don't care. Imagine that they go on with their life like nothing happened, like you meant nothing to them. Ever.

    To me, that's a whole lot harsher than someone yelling at you, calling you names and throwing things. To me, that would hurt a lot more. It might take a while for me to realize it, but in the end it would rip my guts out if I cared anything for that person.

    I've been on the receiving end of the "Song for the Dumped" scenario. The Globex Corporation Newsletter is evidence of me dishing it out as well.

    The "Selfless, Cold and Composed" scenario is a little less familiar. Yeah, I've had it done to me and, yes, I've done it to others. Sometimes it didn't really mean anyting, but more often it was just bullshit posturing.

    BOJ in a really good relationship right now, this post should in no way be construed as BOJ having troubles in his current relationship, he really just likes both songs mentioned in the post and always appreciated their juxtaposition on "Whatever and Ever, Amen"...



    Thursday, December 20, 2007



    On Friday morning, I woke up at about 3am, freezing. I was so cold that I couldn't sleep. I also had a horrible headache. I have this electric heated mattress pad on my bed that has settings from 1 through 10. I normally sleep with it set to 2 in the winter, but will have it to 3 on particularly cold nights. Freezing as I was, I turned it up to the unprecedented 4 setting.

    I stopped freezing and eventually got back to sleep. When I got up that morning, I felt as bad as I ever had. I had a horrible headache. I could barely get out of bed, my MS symptoms were worse than they had ever been. I was heading south to see [someone] later that day, normally something I look forward to, but I was dreading the trip. My coordination was poor, the headache was causing trouble with my vision.

    I made the trip anyway, as it got later and later in the day, I ended up feeling better. I was never 100%, I haven't been 100% for years, but that's beside the point.

    The point is that Friday was a day after a Betaseron injection. The chills I felt, the headache were what, for most people is a common side effect of the medication, a side effect that I haven't had much of. In fact, Friday morning was only the second time I experienced that.

    What the Betaseron normally does for me is makes my MS symptoms worse for the next day. The idea is that the Betaseron is supposed to slow the advance of the disease, to make attacks less frequent. While I wasn't having attacks, every other day I felt like crap, a direct result of taking Betaseron.

    I felt like I normally do after my Saturday injection which is to say, crappy, but no worse than I normally do. It was the Monday injection that was a problem.

    On Tuesday morning at 1:30 I woke up freezing again. Not at home I was unable to turn my bed up to 4, but I had a sweatshirt I was able to put on, to make myself somewhat comfortable, temperature-wise. The MS symptoms were markedly worse, though. I didn't hav enough energy to ever roll over. I was on my back, my back was killing me and I couldn't get off of my back.

    I was miserable all day on Tuesday. Two out of three injections caused me excruciating pain. The Betaseron, a proven MS medication was causing me discomfort and wasn't helping me with what it was supposed to.

    The best I feel, the best I ever feel, is the first hour or so after I get up on a day when I'm going to give myself an injection. I wake up feeling good, but then I start dreading how I'm going to feel after the injection, how crappy I'm going to feel the next day.

    The best I've felt in about a year was one day in October. I had forgotten to take my injection, the only time I ever forgot. I woke up feeling so great and then realized what I'd done. I took an injection an hour after getting up. As the day went on, I felt what the drug was doing to me. I didn't like it.

    I saw my neurologist yesterday. We discussed my medication. I'm worse, much worse than I was the first time I saw her. I've been on Betaseron for a little over a year now and it's not doing what it's supposed to. It's causing more discomfort than it should, more discomfort recently than it ever has.

    I'm off of Betaseron.

    This is my first morning without Betaseron. Today would normally be a post-injection day. I would be slow. I would have a headache. I wouldn't type nearly as well as I am right now.

    I feel great. I haven't felt this good in so long. I have no dread of an impending injection.

    Betaseron did not work for me. Everything I've read says that it's one of the best drugs for MS, just not for me. I wish everybody on Betaseron the best of luck. It just didn't work for me.

    The bad thing is, of course,that I need to look for something new. I got lots of literature yesterday. I've got plenty to look through. My options are similar to what I was doing, once a week or once a month. I'll have to make a decision soon.

    Today, though, I feel great. Today I'm trying to not think about pharmaceutical options. Today I'm going to be as normal as I can be.


    Tuesday, December 18, 2007


    NFL Rankings

    1. (1)New England Patriots (14-0)
      Playing close games against teams they should beat handily

    2. (3)Green Bay Packers (12-2)
      Move up to #2 with a decisisve win over St. Louis

    3. (4)Indianapolis Colts (12-2)
      Strong comeback against the Raiders

    4. (2)Dallas Cowboys (12-2)
      Two sub-par weeks in a row drop them to #4

    5. (5)Jacksonville Jaguars (10-4)
      Numbers one through four are the class of the NFL. Can the Jags make the jump into that level?

    6. (8)San Diego Chargers (9-5)
      An impressive win plus teams in front of them playing uninspired football vaults them to #6

    7. (-)Cleveland Browns (9-5)
      The Browns win what was essentially a playoff game against the Bills

    8. (6)Pittsburgh Steelers (9-5)
      Two losses in a row to two quality football teams

    9. (6)Seattle Seahawks (9-5)
      Top flight teams don't drop a game like this one

    10. (10)Tamba Bay Buccaneers (9-5)
      Beat up a bad Falcons team

    OUT OF TOP 10: New York Giants (9-5)

    ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
    Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
    CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
    NBC/MSNBC viewer Power Rankings.

    Monday, December 17, 2007



    "It's undoubtedly sore now, but luckily it should still be useful to him in the future,'' a doctor was quoted as saying...


    Friday, December 14, 2007



    Thursday, December 13, 2007


    Let the Hype Begin!

    Astute readers will notice a slight change in the name of this bowl game. Though we tried legal action to keep the bowl's name the same as last year, the Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce won the right to put 'Las Vegas' back in the bowl's name.

    So this year it's The Globex Corporation presents the BOJ News Service Las Vegas Bowl.

    Not a complete loss for The Globex Corporation, though. Our name is once again on a college bowl game. Global domination can't be far behind....

    Watch Mountain West Conference champion BYU take on Pac-10 powerhouse UCLA on December 22nd at 8pm, 5 pm Pacific time on ESPN!



    All-Steroid Team

    My team of players named in the Mitchell Report.

    1B - Mo Vaughn
    2B - Chuck Knoblauch
    SS - Miguel Tejada
    3B - Fernando Vina
    RF - David Justice
    CF - Len Dykstra
    LF - Glenallen Hill
    C - Todd Hundley
    SP - Roger Clemens
    RP - Eric Gagne

    Great players all, great at cheating. Congrats, gentlemen!

    List of players courtesy ofThe National Post.



    The Return of Pointless Shit

    Tell me why this is supposed to make sense:

  • rambo
    First Blood

  • Rambo: First Blood Part II

  • Rambo III

  • This has bugged me for years. Where is Rambo II? There is no Rambo II!

    First Blood was a good and thoughtful action movie. I enjoyed it, the tortured anti-hero, misunderstood by a small, backward town goes off and injures lots and lots of hicks in memorable ways. That's a movie!

    Then we get these mindless pieces of crap with Rambo attached to them. What a fucking waste...



    Wednesday, December 12, 2007


    Idiots on the Phone

    One program I never tire of is This American Life on NPR from WBEZ in Chicago. In truth I listen to the podcast edition, I listen to lots of podcasts of radio shows which is better than remembering when the shows are actually on the radio.

    This week's This American Life was Episode #253 The Middle of Nowhere. The episode description was:

    Stories from faraway, hard-to-get-to places, where all rules are off, nefarious things happen because no one's looking, and there's no one to appeal to.

    I don't know, that's pretty vague. Still, an interesting idea to do a radio show about.

    The first "act" of this episode was interesting, about the Pacific island of Naru and the pluses and minuses of being as remote as it is. Interesting stories, international intrigue, I was so pleased to have listened to this very interesting report.

    It was the second "act," starting at about the 34 minute mark (really,you should listen) that made an impact on me. It was the story of a woman who works at This American Life who had an issue with her phone service and spent 10 months trying to clear it up. It was a problem that would never have been rectified if This American Life didn't do a story on it. It's the story of the phone company's "Genius Silo in Iowa" that doesn't have any phones in it, phone companies that can't initiate a conference call and some guy named "Chuck Carter."

    Hilarious and infuriating at the same time, more so because I've been in exactly the same place with AOL, Cigna Teldrug, Bresnan Communications and The Casper Star-Tribune/Jones Boys Telemarketing.

    When these companies get you on the phone, they can tell you anything, they can lie to you and you have no recourse. They want you to just give up. They want to baffle you into dropping whatever you complaint is.

    Some of us won't.



    ...currently waiting for [Nameless Company] and Cigna Teldrug to return calls to me...


    Tuesday, December 11, 2007


    NFL Rankings

    1. (1)New England Patriots (13-0)
      After two weeks of close games against bad teams, they smack around a good one

    2. (2)Dallas Cowboys (12-1)
      Too close against Detroit, but they won and they're 12-1

    3. (3)Green Bay Packers (11-2)
      They're now running the ball effectively, that was my last question about this team

    4. (4)Indianapolis Colts (11-2)
      Was Baltimore down after a heartbreaking loss to the Pats? Doesn't matter, they got spanked by Indy

    5. (6)Jacksonville Jaguars (9-4)
      They keep winning

    6. (7)Seattle Seahawks (9-4)
      I can't believe that the issue with this team is how they run the ball

    7. (5)Pittsburgh Steelers (9-4)
      A little banged up, they dropped one to the Pats

    8. (9)San Diego Chargers (8-5)
      A hard fought win against a good team

    9. (10)New York Giants (9-4)
      I don't get this team, but they belong here

    10. (8)Tamba Bay Buccaneers (8-5)
      Dropped one to a suddenly tough Texans team

    OUT OF TOP 10: None

    ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
    Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
    CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
    NBC/MSNBC viewer Power Rankings.


    Sunday, December 09, 2007


    Laminated List

    While I usually don't pattern my life after things I see in sitcoms (The Simpsons is another matter entirely), this is something I found kind of fun. From an episode of Friends, 3.05 The One With Frank, Jr., [someone] and I each give you what was termed in the episode a Freebie or Laminated List.

    In short, it's a list of women I'm really attracted to and a corresponding list of men [someone] is attracted to, so much so that, should the opportunity arise, a dalliance with a person on the list would be forgiven. Am I getting the idea across without being too graphic?

    Anyway, La Güera and I decided to do lists like this. We sort of decided on allowing three each as two of mine will be so obvious as to make this a sort of un-fun exercise for me.

    So here's my Laminated List:

  • Sue Foley

    Ottawa born, she grew up, musically, anyway, in Austin, TX. Sue is gorgeous and I'd be lying if I pretended to give any other reason as being the main reason she's on this list.

    She's a redhead, that just does something for me, I can't explain it.

    Next, she's a musician. Not just a musician, but a blues guitarist. She truly is my favorite blues guitarist playing today. Her music is sexy, a fine song writer, songs like Sugar, Make It Real and New Used Car from her latest album are charged with sexuality.

    Finally, she's smart. A clever songwriter, a student of the history of the blues, intelligence comes through in everything she does.

  • tina
    Tina Fey

    There's something about a woman in glasses...

    Tina is a fine performer, her work on the Weekend Update portion of Saturday Night Live was the finest work of that type on the show since Dennis Miller. It's not Dennis Miller who makes the list, though, it's Tina Fey.

    Tina was the first female head writer on SNL. In my opinion, the show really popped under her. She's a great writer herself, a sketch she wrote for Christopher Walken called "Colonel Lingus" makes me laugh with it's bathroom humor set against some pretty clever use of the English language.

    Now she's on 30 Rock,a show she created, consistently one of the funniest things on TV.

  • charlize
    Charlize Theron

    I chose two women with my previous picks based, very much, on what's going on in their brains. So pick #3 will be based purely on looks. It's not that I don't think Charlize has a lot going on upstairs, it's just that.... well.... I've never really bothered to find out.

    I just can't get past how good she looks. This is a fine looking woman. I'm sure she's got a brain, has intelligent things to say, has stances on important issues of the day, may even be able to play a musical instrument or have a fantastic sense of humor, but... well... I've never noticed.

  • So, have I got a shot with any of these fine looking women? Probably not. I'm still me and they're all way hot.

    Even getting near any of them will be difficult, though I've been in the same room with Sue Foley. I was within feet of her in a Blues club, easily the most amazing musical performance I've ever seen. We even made eye contact at one point, pretty amazing I must say. But I went home alone and I wasn't even attached then.

    Please note, also, that in two of the photos, my list women are wearing stockings. I couldn't find one of Sue Foley, though I photoshopped one a while back. Take that for what it's worth...




    I spent all day yesterday tracking down T911, then, finally contacting her by phone and catching up for about two hours.

    Who's T911? Let me explain.

    A week before my 24th birthday I took my first TV job at the mighty KDLT in Sioux Falls, SD. I was the new guy, the know-it-all (thankfully I never act like that anymore...) who was probably a little too loud and a little too talkative (sound familiar, la Güera?). I had gone to school for TV production, but this was real world operations stuff, not theoretical textbook stuff. This was get the job done, make a decision in an instant and live with the consequences TV.

    I got by, I learned the job from the people working there. I worked closely with T911 two days a week (I worked a really funky schedule that I ended up loving) and learned a ton from her, mostly about preparation about knowing what was coming next, as much as you can in live TV, and being ready for it.

    One of the things we did together was build spot reel. It's a skill that I'm sure is being lost with all of the station automation that operators have access to these days. What this entailed was editing spots that would be needed during the next broadcast day onto a single reel, sometimes more than 4 spots to a break. This could be a straight forward process, but to save time, we would do it in real time as much as possible, rolling a tape and taking it as the previous spot ended so that as much of the reel could be build without having to stop.

    Besides doing a job that needed to be done, building spot reel gave us an acute understanding of the equipment we were working with, we knew exactly how long it took to rewind a 30 second spot, for instance. We learned to cue a tape in a minimum amount of time. T911 and I got really good at this, at working together, so good that we would finish our assigned duties long before necessary and would sit around and BS a lot.

    The other 3 days, T911 worked with this other guy who she probably didn't enjoy working with as much. He had enough skill, but just didn't want to do the job. I learned from him, too. I learned that to be effective in an operations environment, first you had to care. Caring was 95% of the job, caring about what your air looked like. He didn't care and it showed on air. I also learned important lessons about kissing ass and why I never want to do that.

    I was in my mid twenties and I learned the TV business, the good and the bad. T911 taught me a lots She also taught me a lot about myself.

    An interesting thing about the BOJ who worked at KDLT, he was a married guy. I got married and took my KDLT job three months later. I was there over two years, the (mostly) happily married operator. When I lost that job, I was separated 3 months later. The people I worked with at KDLT are the only ones who know me as a married guy. That's weird when I look back on it because I've been a decidedly single guy in every other job I've ever had.

    I've probably rambled enough for one day. NFL football is starting up and I could use some coffee.

    Welcome aboard, T911!


    Saturday, December 08, 2007



    Hi T911!

    Through painstaking research, I've figured out who you are. Welcome to The Globex Corporation Newsletter. I remember you always enjoying The Simpsons, any idea where the name of this blog is from?

    Honestly forgot you were also a Broncos fan. We need to catch up. Drop me an email, there are links in the sidebar (NFL Rankings & Heroic Legion of Competence) that will send email to me.

    Amazing to hear from you!

    ...but you probably remember me as Doug...

    Friday, December 07, 2007



    The best NFL teams I've ever seen were the 1985 Chicago Bears and the 1998 Denver Broncos. Both teams won Super Bowls, the Bears finishing 15-1, the Broncos 14-2. As their respective seasons progressed, both teams looked like they could go undefeated, the Bears winning their first 12 games before dropping one to the Dolphins, the Broncos winning 13 straight before dropping two in a row.

    The point is that these are the two greatest teams I've seen. The Bears had as good a defense as the NFL has ever seen, the Broncos, coming off of a Super Bowl win as a wild card had a chip on their shoulder, wanting to prove to everyone that they were an all time great. Both teams had the talent to go undefeated, both teams made a legitimate run at that lofty goal. In the end, the best two teams I've ever seen, unbelievably talented teams, all time greats, lost a total of 3 games between them.

    On January 21st of this year, the New England Patriots played the Indianapolis Colts for the AFC Championship and a berth in the Super Bowl. Down 6-21 at the half, the Colts came back in the second half under Peyton Manning and won 38-34. The Colts beat the Pats because the Colts were playing the best football at that point in the season.

    The truth of the matter is that the Pats were out maned in that game. QB Tom Brady had a great game against what had suddenly become a fine Colts defense. He did this despite a real lack of talent at the wide receiver position. Troy Brown was a fine receiver but at the end of his career, Reche Caldwell, Doug Gabriel and Jabar Gaffney just didn't measure up to Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne. The Patriot were simply out maned at the WR position, in a game as close as this one was, that was the margin of the Patriots' defeat and something that needed to be addressed.

    The Patriots wasted little time. On March 1st the Pats signed Wes Welker, formerly of the Miami Dolphins, a good receiver who had been trapped on a bad team. Ten days later, the Pats signed Donte´Stallworth. Stallworth had been a great college receiver at Tennessee but something of a disappointment in the NFL. Still, his previous season with the Phailadelphia Eagles had been productive. Neither of these receivers were what one would consider great, but both were definite upgrades over what the Patriots had. At this point, New England became my favorite to win Super Bowl XLII.

    Then on the second day of the NFL draft, on April 29th, the Patriots traded for Randy Moss. Randy Moss is ridiculously talented but had sort of disappeared after being traded to Oakland. In truth, Moss had shot himself in the foot, his attitude had turned him into a problem for any team he was going to play for.

    The critics went nuts:

    "Randy Moss will destroy the chemistry of this team."

    "Randy Moss isn't the same player he was in Minnesota."

    The Patriots were already the best team in the AFC with the additions of Welker and Stallworth. Adding Moss was, no doubt, a gamble, but a gamble with a huge upside. IF Moss was even a shadow of what he'd been in Minnesota, IF Moss could get along with his new teammates, IF Moss didn't completely destroy the chemistry of a fine New England team, the Patriots could be a monster.

    Here's what most of the critics missed. The New England Patriots don't need Randy Moss. Maybe the Patriots aren't 12-0 without Moss, but they're more than likely leading the AFC East right now, they're most likely the best team in the AFC, probably in the NFL.

    The Patriots don't need Randy Moss. If he acted up, if he turned into poison for the Pats' chemistry, he would have been gone. Randy Moss would have found himself sitting, maybe even deactivated like Terrell Owens was a couple of years ago with the Eagles.

    With Randy Moss; a Randy Moss exhibiting a good attitude; a Randy Moss who's playing like he did in Minnesota, the Patriots have a chance to be an all time great team.

    The Patriots have a chance at an undefeated season. Will they do it? They've got a tough match up against the Steelers this week. They follow that up with the Jets, a team coached by a former Patriots' assistant. Then it's the Dolphins, easily the worst team in the NFL, but a team that has never given up in any game, plus defending the honor of the league's only undefeated team. They finish it up with the Giants, a team that will likely be being playing for more than the Patriots in the season's final game.

    A record of 16-0 or not, the 2007 New England Patriots are a great team. To be considered a truly great team, they need to win it all, they need to stand victorious at the end of Super Bowl XLII.


    ...even with a Patriots Super Bowl win, Randy Moss would have fewer Super Bowl rings than Ed McCaffrey...

    Tuesday, December 04, 2007


    NFL Rankings

    1. (1)New England Patriots (12-0)
      Two three point games in two weeks, but they're still 12-0

    2. (2)Dallas Cowboys (11-1)
      They beat a banged up Green Bay and deserve the #2 spot

    3. (3)Green Bay Packers (10-2)
      Played a very good game against #2 in spite of it all

    4. (4)Indianapolis Colts (10-2)
      Pretty much assured themselves another division title with a win over the Jags

    5. (6)Pittsburgh Steelers (9-3)
      The Pats may be susceptable to this type of team

    6. (5)Jacksonville Jaguars (8-4)
      Gave the Colts all they could handle

    7. (8)Seattle Seahawks (8-4)
      Played a tough Eagles team with nothing to lose

    8. (7)Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-4)
      They just keep winning

    9. (-)San Diego Chargers (7-5)
      They're here based on talent

    10. (10)New York Giants (8-4)
      Maybe that comeback turns this team around, they looked horrible for 3 and a half quarters, though...

    OUT OF TOP 10: Cleveland Browns (7-5)


    I woke up in a funk.

    That could be for so many reasons.

    My life stinks. I don't have a job. I have MS. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I take a medication that has been clinically shown to cause depression.

    I've been crying all morning. I'll undoubtedly have to quit typing to cry some more. I'm at [someone]'s and it seemed so reasonable to pack up everything I have here and drive home. My bag is packed and is sitting by the door. I sat there for half an hour.

    I don't know what to do.

    There is nothing good about my life right now. The disease is getting worse. I'm having a harder time walking. I'm having a harder time typing. I'm having a harder time in general.

    There's one good thing in my life right now and I'm screwing that up. I hate myself when I'm like this. I like to think I'm not a needy person but I now see myself as incapable of funtioning on my own

    This is getting way too big, worse, I'm dragging innocent people in, down, with me.

    I think back to the summer of 2006. I broke my nose, I was feeling worse and worse every day. I finally decided to see a doctor who sent me to a neurologist. I had never felt so bad, so useless in my life. I wanted to get better or, failing that, for it to all just be over.

    I'm never getting better. Today is as good as I'm ever going to feel for the rest of my life. How bad did I feel in the summer of '06? I could still take a guitar, folding chair and harmonicas down the stairs, put them in my car and drive to the park so I could play outside for an hour. I could drive to Ft. Collins and do 14 or 20 minutes at an open mic.

    Today, I could never get a guitar, folding chair and harmonicas down the stairs in one trip. I don't have the energy to make more than one trip. I'm lucky if I can play a single song before my right hand is too tired to hold a pick. I get tired during a 30 minute drive.

    Today is as good as I'm going to feel for the rest of my life. It doesn't get any better than it is today.

    I'm not dying. I have to live with this shit.

    I have to live with this shit for all of the years that I have left.

    I have to live with friends family and employers fucking me over. I have to live with people who won't do anything to help me, who have actually gone out of their ways to make things more difficult for me. I have to put up with people who don't understand what a constant struggle it is for me to do anything. And I have to put up with it from people, so called professionals, who should fucking know better.

    I have to put up with the backlash I get from outbursts I make when living my daily life just gets to me, becomes too big for me to hang on to. I have to put up with a shitty healthcare system, at the only time in my life that I've had to use the shitty healthcare system.

    I fucking hate my life today. I have better days than today, days I can better deal with all the shit. Even then, the shit isn't any better, it's still shit. Maybe tomorrow I won't hate everything, but it will all still suck.


    Monday, December 03, 2007


    Report: NFL Had Previously Warned Sean Taylor About Spending Quiet Evenings Alone At Home

    From The Onion:

    MIAMI—Immediately after Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor died from gunshot wounds sustained when an unknown intruder broke into his Florida mansion and assaulted Taylor, NFL officials announced that they had warned the Pro Bowler against indulging in such risky behavior as sleeping quietly in his own home. "We communicated to Mr. Taylor several times that his lifestyle, including his insistence on living in a high-crime city and associating with such known troublemakers as NFL players, was potentially dangerous," a statement from the league's legal department read in part. "Although we are greatly saddened by Mr. Taylor's death, we feel we have lived up to our responsibilities in this matter." Following the announcement of Taylor's death, spokesmen for the league reached out to all NFL players and warned them of the risks of doing absolutely anything whatsoever.

    You've gotta love The Onion, I never would have gone there...


    You know what's funny? I go out of my way to tell to stay off of this blog, but they aren't smart enough to understand what the fuck that means.

    Stupid pieces of shit make me laugh every time...


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    The Bert Convey
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