Globex Corporation Newsletter

THE RULES:

In a departure from past years, all lines will be taken from bodog.com

While most wagers will be of the "point spread" variety, I reserve the right to make straight wagers, props and exotics as I see fit and as available

Odds will be played and will be displayed in "american" fashion, i.e. (-110) denotes that a wager of $110 will return $100 while (+110) would denote a $100 wager that returns $110 - and I hate math!

While NFL wagers will comprise the bulk of the wagers, College, CFL and UFL as well as other sports may be wagered

A note on college wagers: colleges where women I have be involved earned their Masters degrees MUST be wagered against if at all - while this almost always will involve Colorado State and Wyoming, South Dakota State, Nebraska-Omaha and some small east coast college that probably doesn't even have sports must be wagered against if at all

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 3:55 PM 0 comments

You can do anything
If you believe
Make a plan that says "I can"
And you will achieve
You can do anything
If you believe
You can do anything
Unless you're a girl

Labels: lyrics

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 9:00 AM 0 comments

1. Entertainment Reporter
   Mary Hart retiring from Entertainment Tonight made me think of this. An explosion of clone shows, cable networks and entertainment blogs has turned this into a growth industry.


2. Fantasy Sports Expert
   We didn't even have fantasy sports in 1983, now people are making a living telling us who to draft in our leagues.


3. Paparazzo
   OK, this probably existed in 1983, but more as a sideline. Today you can make a living taking pictures and video of (and mercilessly hounding) the rich and famous.


4. Political Blogger
   There always have been and always will be loud mouths shouting about politics. The internet gives everyone a place to potentially reach millions of people with little overhead. Get a couple of sponsors and voila, you get yourself a career, and all without leaving the house.


5. Public Videographer
   You know, like those Girls Gone Wild guys. They're making a living, right? Making a living getting girls to flash them. You know, at a different time in my life...


6. Professional Poker Player
   I'm sure this career has existed for years, but it's only been mainstream for the past few years. Mainstream enough to list it as your occupation on your tax return.


7. Reality TV Star
   Why do I know who Heidi Spencer are? Or Richard Hatch? Or Snooki? Make a mark on some stupid reality show and become part of the public consciousness. Down the road, someone will pay you money, too much money, for having no talent.

Labels: Lists

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 8:30 AM 0 comments

NFC EAST

Philadelphia Eagles

Washington Redskins

Dallas Cowboys

New York Giants

NFC NORTH

Green Bay Packers

Minnesota Vikings

Chicago Bears

Detroit Lions

NFC SOUTH

Atlanta Falcons

New Orleans Saints

Carolina Panthers

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

NFC WEST

San Francisco 49ers

Arizona Cardinals

Seattle Seahawks

St. Louis Rams

AFC EAST

New England Patriots

New York Jets

Miami Dolphins

Buffalo Bills

AFC NORTH

Baltimore Ravens

Cincinnati Bengals

Pittsburgh Steelers

Cleveland Browns

AFC SOUTH

Indianapolis Colts

Houston Texans

Tennesse Titans

Jacksonville Jaguars

AFC WEST

San Diego Chargers

Oakland Raiders

Kansas City Chiefs

Denver Broncos

NFC
East Philadelphia Eagles
North Green Bay Packers
South Atlanta Falcons
West San Francisco 49ers

Wild Card Minnesota Vikings
Wild Card New Orleans Saints


AFC
East New England Patriots
North Baltimore Ravens
South Indianapolis Colts
West San Diego Chargers

Wild Card Cincinnati Bengals
Wild Card Houston Texans

Labels: NFL

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 2:29 PM 0 comments

Labels: The Wisdom of Homer

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 8:02 AM 0 comments

I rode the jetstream, I hit the top
I'm eating steak and lobster tails
The sauna's drafty, the pools too hot
The kitchen stinks of boiling snails.
The taxman's coming, the butler quit
This ain't no place to be a man
I'm going back to where I started
I'm flashing back into my pan.

It's better in a hell hole
You know where you stand in a hell hole
Folks lend a hand in a hell hole
Girl get me back to my hell hole

Labels: lyrics

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 4:24 AM 1 comments

1. Don Majkowski


2. Ty Detmer


3. Mark Brunell


4. T.J. Rubley


5. Jim McMahon


6. Steve Bono


7. Matt Hasselbeck


8. Craig Nall


9. Aaron Rodgers


10. Kellen Clemens


11. Tavaris Jackson


12. Sage Rosenfels

Kurt Warner

Aaron Brooks

Cleo Lemon

Labels: Lists, NFL

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 8:17 AM 0 comments

Labels: The Wisdom of Homer

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 8:26 AM 1 comments

Nobody loves me but my mother,
and she could be jivin' too

Nobody loves me but my mother,
and she could be jivin' too

Now you see why I act funny baby,
when you do the things you do

Labels: lyrics

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 12:49 AM 0 comments

1. This isn’t the gelato shop on Saturday night– order your coffee and move on
   While you may be confused by something new on the menu, when ordering your coffee first thing in the morning, it is best to refrain from asking more than a question or two. Caffeine is a delightful addiction and some of those people behind you might be packing heat and wondering why you’re coffee-blocking them. If you need to read the menu for a couple minutes or for the love of all that is good and decent, make a phone call, DO step out of line.


2. Play foursquare on your phone, not the side of your cup
   The number of modifiers you add when describing your drink is directly proportional to the size of a douchebag your fellow customers think you are. The staff are likely to cheerfully oblige you, but the meter on this cab to cheese-log island is only running higher the longer you keep adjective-izing.


3. Try something new
   Coffee is a crop and grows on trees– it has seasons. If your usual coffee or blend is gone for a time, don’t fret. Take it as a chance to learn about seasonality and give the new brown hotness a chance


4. Don’t make demands
   If a shop doesn’t make the coffee you want or in the way you’re used to, either trundle your way back up to rule 3 or walk out the door. Half way into the sentence “But, WHY don’t you…” it should become clear that you’re dangerously straddling the line between your Aunt Rosie’s “Why I NEVER, in MY day I would sooner spoon up puddle water than pay more than 5 cents for a cup of…” and your Four Year Old Self “Buh, buh, buh I want the OTHER…ice…cre-hee-hee-heeeeAAM” (mouth spittle forming into a huge bubble that inexplicably won’t pop as you silently mouth the word “mom”). Coffee shops have different standards, equipment, and menus. They may not be able to make the beverage you’re used to. They may have tried making your beverage and realized it tasted bad or that they couldn’t make a profit on it. If you want something they don’t have, the time to make a suggestion is in a friendly note mailed to the owner, not while in line in front of a lady whose two toddlers have been alternately serving as freeweights and air raid sirens and who sees your neck as the only thing standing between herself and her cup of coffee.


5. Get your beverage for-here or in ceramic
   While using ceramic is better for trees and landfills, the real beneficiary in all this is your mouth. Ceramic always tastes better than paper and mostly doesn’t taste at all. As an alternative, pick yourself up a ceramic to-go cup. A lot of places will throw a dime at you for bringing your own cup, mind you, your mug might get chucked back at you if it’s dirty


6. Buy some whole bean coffee to take home
   Unless you’re standing at one of the very few remaining coffee carts left in the nation, one of the ways that coffee shops keep the doors open is by selling whole bean coffee. Show your local shop some support and buy some coffee to take home. Also, few things will give you an appreciation for all the hard work your baristas do quite like trying to make coffee for yourself for a change.


7. Be disloyal
   I don’t mean to say that you should spurn the folks running your favorite shop, just that you should get out there and try some different shops. Coffee is continuing to evolve and proliferate and if you branch out now and again you might just find something new worth supporting. Shops around the nation are starting to follow the 2009 World Barista Champion’s lead to create disloyalty cards that ask customers to try several cafes around a particular city with the reward being a free cup of coffee at your favorite location. Seattle’s disloyalty card is off and running and it appears that the ATL will be 2nd to launch theirs.


8. Tip
   It’s not always easy when you’re dealing with credit and store cards, but when you receive good service for a tasty beverage, give your barista a tip. You throw a dollar at that bartender for leaning on a knob to deliver your $2.75 PBR, so why not the same for the person that is going to grind, dose, tamp, and carpal-tunnel their way to deliver your brown juice? A good barista has the ability to not only deliver you a tasty beverage, but can sometimes even adjust your attitude back to “I’m going back into the meeting and showing that boss of mine SOMETHING. I will roll my eyes ONLY HALF the time! When I alternately nod off and re-awake in short succession it will be with so much gusto they’ll swear I’m channeling Brian Posehn at a Slayer concert T! P! S! Re-POOORT!” Like I was saying, baristas could use the appreciation and honestly, the money. Witness barista Michael Phillips of Intelligentsia Coffee bringing home the World Barista Championship to the United States for the first time since it’s inception 11 years ago. Years of practice and preparation while holding down his day job and his only payout is more work in coffee (and the ability to rock suspenders like no other). There is no Food Network show in the works, mild fame outside of coffee, little fortune other than his humble pride for a job done well, all that and …just part of what’s left in the tip jar at the end of the day.

Labels: Lists

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 10:05 AM 1 comments

Labels: The Wisdom of Homer

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 11:45 AM 0 comments

People tell me
"Ben, just make up junk
And turn it in"
But I never was alright with turning in
A bunch of shit
I don't like wasting time
On music that won't make me proud
But now I've found a reason
To sit right down and shit some out

One down
And three-point-six
Tomorrow
And I'm out of here
One down
And three-point-six
Tomorrow
And I'm out of here
Yeah, yeah

Labels: lyrics

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 10:27 AM 0 comments

1. 10 Human Creations Attributed To Aliens


2. Top 10 Murderers You Secretly Love


3. Top 12 Most Controversial Games


4. Top 10 Difficult Literary Works


5. 11 Brain-Twisting Paradoxes


6. Top 10 Greatest Food Combinations


7. Top 10 Worst Movie Sequels


8. Top 10 Clowns You Don’t Want To Mess With


9. Top 10 Places You Don’t Want To Visit


10. Top 10 Bizarre or Ridiculous Fatwas

Labels: Lists

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 8:35 AM 1 comments

Labels: The Wisdom of Homer

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 12:54 PM 0 comments

You don't need to listen to what they tell you
I can change all that, I can make it easy too
Cause I don't need to stay
Stay, I don't need to run away or
Fake my way through
Let me be the one you've been waiting on
Let me be the one you've been waiting on

Labels: lyrics

# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 8:39 AM 0 comments