Thursday, May 28, 2009


The Insanity of You Tube

I just looked at my You Tube channel. I point this out not as bragging, quite the opposite, actually.

Five Months ago, I posted this:

I didn't write it. I don't think I even did a good rendition of it, TSA and I did it better, but, sadly, there are no recordings of it.

As of this writing, the video has 410 views.

Five months ago, BabsLamb posted this:

Danny Barnes is an amazing songwriter. His lyrics are the types of things I wish I could write. His instrumental skill makes me feel like a chump, a pretender who never had a clue. And while Barnes doesn't have what you'd call a pleasant voice, I wish I sang as well as him.

As of this writing, the video has 301 views.

I have no idea how to account for any of this other than You Tube viewers are morons. There is nothing I have ever done in my life that should, under any circumstances, garner as much attention as anything Danny Barnes has done with music. He's the real deal. I'm a dork who used to strap on a kazoo and sing loud enough and clearly enough to make people gasp at the words that were coming out of my mouth. If I had a talent, it was that I DID IT, but is that actual talent or is it just bravery? Shouldn't actual talent be recognized?

Who knows? I'm getting worked up over this and I should really be in bed...


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Marge, you being a cop makes you the man...which makes me the woman. I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

The Springfield Connection


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I gave you a brand new Ford
And you just said I want a Cadillac
I bought you a ten dollar dinner
You said thanks for the snack
I let you live in my penthouse
You said it was just a shack
I gave you seven children
And now you wanna give 'em back

B.B. King
"How Blue Can You Get"
Live at the Regal


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos!

Homer and Apu


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

She memorized every pencil crayon color in the box
Her blue-green eyes complement the burnt sienna in her locks

Barenaked Ladies
"Life in a Nutshell"
Maybe You Should Drive


Thursday, May 14, 2009


iTunes on Random

I just listened to the track "No Regrets" by She Murdered Yesterday and realized that the only reason i have this track is because I used to date the drummer's mom...

I'm getting old.


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I can't buy that. Only management-type guys with big salaries like me can afford things like that. Guys like me! I'm a guy like me!

You Only Move Twice


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My lawyer pled my sentence down to 90 days
A nudge from the judge and jury said to change my ways
Sometimes the darkness finds me when I can't find my truck
I'm banging on your front door, baby, looking for a ride

Danny Barnes
"Get Me Out of Jail"
Get Myself Together


Sunday, May 10, 2009


Happy Whacking Day!


Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Marge vs. the Monorail


Tuesday, May 05, 2009

So you wanted
To take a break
Slow it down some
And have some space
Well fuck you too

Give me my money back
Give me my money back
You Bitch

Ben Folds Five
"Song for the Dumped"
Whatever and Ever, Amen


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The Bert Convey
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I'm not telling you anything...