Globex Corporation Newsletter

Pakistan Cricket Coach Bob Woolmer
1948 - 2007

From 24dash.com (whatever that is):

A team of Scotland Yard officers will travel to Jamaica to review the investigation into the death of Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer, police said today.

Three detectives and a scenes of crime officer will arrive in the Caribbean country next week, following a formal request from the Jamaican authorities, said a spokesman for the Metropolitan Police.

Woolmer, 58, died shortly after he was discovered unconscious in his bathroom at the Pegasus Hotel, Kingston, on March 18. He is believed to have been strangled.

Today Scotland Yard confirmed it was sending the team to review the investigation, but said Jamaican police remained the primary investigating force.

A spokesman said: "We can confirm we have received a formal request from the Jamaican Authorities to send a small team of detectives to review the investigation into the death of Bob Woolmer in Jamaica.

"This is normal practice for a review to take place a short time after the commencement of an investigation.

"In the UK we actively encourage that investigations of this nature are reviewed periodically, and throughout the investigation.

"The Jamaican Constabulary Force remains the primary investigating force."

The team of four will be led by a detective superintendent from the Homicide and Serious Crime Command.

The confirmation of the move by the Met Police comes after Mark Shields, Jamaica's Deputy Police Commissioner and a former Scotland Yard detective, indicated he would ask for a team of British murder investigators to assist in the operation.

Woolmer was murdered hours after of his team was eliminated from the cricket World Cup due to a humiliating defeat to Ireland.

Pakistani players and team officials were questioned, fingerprinted and swabbed for DNA before being allowed to leave Jamaica.

At a press conference on Wednesday, Mr Shields said that the former England cricketer may have been strangled with a piece of fabric which would explain the lack of marks on his neck despite the post-mortem examination's conclusion that Woolmer died as a result of strangulation.

Newspaper reports yesterday suggested that a hotel towel may have been used.

Police are still waiting for the results of forensic tests that will tell them what time he was strangled and whether there was any substance in his system which might have incapacitated him prior to the attack.

Meanwhile, the Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) said it will hold a public memorial service for Woolmer tomorrow.

The service will take place at noon local time in Lahore's Sacred Heart Cathedral - three days before a second public memorial service in Cape Town, South Africa, where Woolmer lived with his family.

PCB chairman Dr Nasim Ashraf has already said the cricket board, through the Pakistani foreign office, has requested Jamaican authorities to allow a senior PCB official to join the investigating team in Jamaica.

BOJ

From The Onion:

Priya Shenoy,


Produce Manager

"As a regular Burger King patron, I don't think I could make it any more clear that I don't give a flying fuck what I put into my body."

Derrick Braswell,

Customer Support Operator

"But the cages were what pushed all the flavor tight into the animals."

Pete DuMont,

Systems Analyst

"Now all that's left for them to do is to stop buying from farms that feed their livestock Burger King."

More hard-hitting journalistic dynamite from The Onion!

BOJ

Labels: Stuff From The Onion

From KARE-TV:

A North Dakota woman has been arrested and charged with aggravated assault and criminal trespass after biting her boyfriend while he slept.

Police say the Dickey County resident broke into her boyfriend's house while he slept on March 22. Then, say police, Amanda Rall climbed into bed and bit the man in his private area.

He called police and was taken to a local hospital where he was treated and released.

The 25-year-old Rall was arrested and charged but is currently out on bond.

She is awaiting her first court appearance.

I really only posted this because of the location of the incident.

BOJ

From CBS News:

Florida Judge Rules Man Must Still Pay $1,250 A Month To Ex-Wife Who Had Sex Change

CLEARWATER, Fla., March 29, 2007 (AP) A woman's sex change operation does not free her ex-husband from his alimony obligation, a judge said Wednesday.

Attorneys for Lawrence Roach, 48, had argued his 55-year-old ex-wife's decision to switch genders and change her name from Julia to Julio Roberto Silverwolf voided their 2004 divorce agreement.

"It's illegal for a man to marry a man and it should likewise be illegal for a man to pay alimony to a man," said John McGuire, one of Roach's attorneys.

Circuit Judge Jack R. St. Arnold, however, ruled that in the eyes of the law, nothing changed significantly enough to free Roach from his $1,250-a-month obligation.

The judge said since Florida courts have ruled sex-change surgery cannot legally change a person's birth gender, Roach technically is not paying alimony to a man.

Gender definitions are "a question that raises issues of public policy that should be addressed by the Legislature, not the Florida courts," St. Arnold wrote.

Silverwolf's lawyer, Gregory Nevins, said the language of the divorce decree is clear — Roach agreed to pay alimony until his ex-wife dies or remarries.

Nevins said he and his client were pleased with the ruling although they disagree with Florida's refusal to legally recognize gender reassignment surgery.

Roach, a utility worker who has since remarried, said he will press his fight to end the payments.

"We're going to try everything we can," he said. "I can't rest until I get satisfaction."

The case is the second transsexual rights showdown in Pinellas County in less than a week. On Friday, city commissioners voted 5-2 to fire Largo's city manager, Steve Stanton, after he announced he was a transsexual.

An Ohio appeals court ruled in September 2004 that a Montgomery County man must continue to pay alimony to his transsexual ex-wife because her sex change wasn't reason enough to violate the agreement.

Labels: Sue Foley Photo Friday

4.3 Password Composition

All personnel:

Use passwords that are at least seven (7) characters long, or the maximum length
permitted by the system if that is less than seven characters.

Use a combination of at least three of the following four groups of characters:

Lowercase letters (i.e., a-z).

Uppercase letters (i.e., A-Z).

Numbers (i.e., 0-9).

Punctuation (e.g., !, @, #, $, %, ^, &, *, -, +, <, >).

If all character types are not permitted by the system, use the greatest variety of
characters permitted by the system.
Use passwords that are difficult to guess. Difficult-to-guess passwords include
those that are:

Not a word in any language, English or foreign, or slang, dialect, or jargon.

Not based on personal, known or guessable information such as:

Names of family, pets, friends, co-workers, fantasy characters, etc.

Computer terms and names, sites, companies, hardware, and
software.

Terms associated with the company (e.g., [Nameless Company], [Nameless Satellite], Consumer name for [Namelss Company],
Riverfront).

Birthdays or personal information such as addresses, phone
numbers, employee or badge numbers, or Social Security numbers.

Letter or number patterns like abcABC, Qwerty, 123CBA, etc.

Any of the above spelled backwards or otherwise obfuscated.

Any of the above preceded or followed by a digit (e.g.,
"[namelsscompany1]").

Not based on earlier passwords or published password examples.

Apply the password composition standards described herein when using
Personal Identification Numbers (PINs), to the extent that such rules are
permitted by the system.

Use a passphrase where possible to secure your accounts. A passphrase is
a longer version of a password and is, therefore, more secure because it is
less vulnerable to "dictionary attacks." Policy requirements related to password composition also apply to a passphrase. An example of a
passphrase is: "I went snowboarding 5 times in January!"

So remember, don't have any passwords that contains a word in any language, English or foreign, or slang, dialect, or jargon.

Good advice for us all. Remember, Password Security begins with you!

BOJ

Labels: [Nameless Company], Pointless Shit

I'm a law abiding guy. Oh, sure, sometimes I drive too fast, generally only on the highway, but most of the time I stick to the law, providing I know what the law is.

My major in college was mass communications. I know a lot about the media. I considered law school for a while, for the stupidest of reasons. Had I pursued that, I would have most likely gone into media law. Even though I didn't go that way, media law still holds a bit of interest for me. I have an interest in copyright issues, slander and libel.

I don't give a shit who reads this bullshit. I don't care if I get 1,000 hits a day or 2. I do occasionally look at who's checking out this site, however. My favorites are the people who find The Globex Corporation Newsletter through search engines. Lots of times I get those hit from people who have no idea how to do an effective web search, typing tthings like Scarlett Johansen Nude into a search engine. They show up, not for very long, and I'm sure they're very dissapointed.

Some searches are much more specific. Occasionally I get hits from searches for globex corporation newsletter. Those are people looking speifically for me, it's sort of undeniable, they are specifically looking for this blog.

I'd suppose it would be flattering, if someone from, say, Arizona with an IP address of, oh, 71.209.89.119, for example were looking for this blog. Maybe I should be flattered that a person like that would bookmark this blog so that their hit show up with "no refering link" for the refering page, someone is actually interested in what's going on here.

Maybe it's someone with an interest in media law. Maybe it's someone who's looking for examples of slander and libel on this humble little corner of the internet.

Keep showing up, 71.209.89.119, I'm happy to have you, but if that's what you're looking for, you won't fucking find it here. Keep showing up, but I have a rule in place that will keep you from finding what you're looking for. In fact, that rule supercedes the only other real rule on this blog, "don't delete anything." I deleted a lot of shit this week, a lot of comments and a couple of posts.

That all started when I deleted one post in particular post in December. I'm not happy that I did that, but I didn't it for someone who the post pissed off, I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. The posts and comments I deleted this week were deleted for the same reason.

Keep showing up, 71.209.89.119. You won't find what you're looking for. Maybe you'll find something else you enjoy here.

BOJ

Labels: Mega-Bitch Wednesday

Ever wondered what kind of crime occurs in Bozeman, MT?

It's Button Pushing Monkey to the rescue with Small Town Crime. Check it out!

BOJ

A sad day for BOJ. Not because I thought I had a chance or anything, it's just that I probably shouldn't do this anymore:



...and a couple more that I actually had the good taste not to post...

She's gonna be a married woman. I gotta knock it off.

BOJ

A new feature from The Onion!!!!

Labels: Stuff From The Onion

Sheila Solana
Pennington County (SD) Treasurer's Office

Sheila was extremely helpful in helping "Blind Orange" Julius obtain the vehicle title for his 1997 Subaru Impreza. Sheila worked with BOJ to allow him to email the lien release instead of hunting down a fax machine. Sheila also contacted the state Division of Motor Vehicles asking them to expidite BOJ's paperwork.

The Globex Corporation congratulates Sheila on this prestigious award.

BOJ

Labels: Legion of Competence

[Nameless Company] sponsors a NASCAR team and I couldn't be prouder. Yeah! NASCAR! I couldn't be happier. NASCAR, something everyone can enjoy!

You do this kind of thing as a company to bring lots of attention to your company, the [Nameless Company] logo emblazened across the hood and the driver's uniform brings attention to the company. It brings a certain amount of "prestige." It's a marketing tool. It's advertising. [Nameless Company] pays Roush Racing lots of money for Primary Sponsorship, a level of sponsorship that reportedly costs between $12 and $16 million. That's a lot of money, probably a good deal in the end, lots of notice for just $600 to $800 per employee.

So you'd think that Roush Racing would have their Primary Sponsor all over their website. You'd think their'd be some mention of [Nameless Company]. Nope.

I feel cheated. My $600 to $800 didn't pay for mention on the website? I've spent more time looking at Roush Racing's website than I ever have watching a NASCAR race. I want my $600 to $800 back! At the very least I want some mention of [Nameless Company] on the Roush Racing website.

This is as positive as I get today, folks.

BOJ

Nice visual aid, huh? Not the best picks in round four, but still managed to stay above .500. Picks for the final four:

Florida vs. UCLA - Hard to pick against a gator, even against something as tough as a bear.

Florida

Ohio St. vs. Georgetown - In the vegetable portion of the bracket, we have a nut vs. a parasitic plant. The parasite doesn't always win, but this time I think it does.

Georgetown

First Round Results: 18-14
Second Round Results: 9-7
Third Round Results: 6-2
Fourth Round Results: 2-2
Overall: 35-25

And that's that.

BOJ

From The Onion:

NASSAU, BAHAMAS—Former stripper turned Playboy Playmate turned reality-TV star Anna Nicole Smith has overcome her longtime struggle with obesity, at last reaching her target weight of 125 pounds, sources said Monday.

Smith, captured at one of her lowest
moments (right), and at her highest (left)

"Anna's been through a lot," said Florida Circuit Court Judge Larry Seidlin, who became visibly emotional as he spoke to reporters. "But I think it's fair to say that she hasn't been this happy in years."

Forensics reports reveal that Smith's miraculous weight loss began on Feb. 8, when she was discovered unconscious in her Hollywood, FL hotel room. She then proceeded to shed the baby weight she had gained during her recent pregnancy, even as her numerous legal woes and the controversy surrounding her 6-month-old daughter Dannielynn's paternity thrust Smith into the public eye more than ever before.

"The last several weeks have been particularly rough for Anna, but thankfully she's turned a corner," said attorney Richard Millstein, the legally appointed guardian for Dannielynn. "At least some good has come out of this sad and sordid tale."

Several sources close to Smith confirmed that she did have some work done in the intervening weeks, losing a significant amount of weight after doctors removed several pounds of her internal organs for toxicity tests. Others credit the loss to aggressive calorie cutting.

Broward County Chief Medical Examiner Joshua Perper said Smith "slowly and steadily" shed the excess pounds before closing in on her goal in the past week.

"Those last 20 pounds were the hardest," Perper said. "But God bless her, she did it. Finally, after all that struggle, she's in a good place."

Some weight-loss experts, however, see Smith's achievement as less than inspirational, claiming that such drastic crash dieting can cause the body to lose dangerous amounts of water and muscle mass.

"She can't be healthy," Miami-based dietitian Pam Archer said. "From what I understand, her current appearance is, frankly, frightening. Even though she's reached her target, her weight is continuing to drop at an alarming pace. Pretty soon she'll be nothing but skin and bones."

Despite such criticism, Krista Barth, attorney for Smith's common-law husband Howard K. Stern, defended Smith. "While we don't claim to be entirely pleased with the outcome of the events of the past several weeks, if nothing else, she finally lost the weight, and nobody, not even an appeals court, can take that away from her," Barth said. "Anna Nicole deserves full credit for finally getting what she always wanted."

Smith is currently celebrating her new slimmed-down status in the Bahamas, where she is expected to remain indefinitely.

BOJ

Labels: Stuff From The Onion

Received February 21st:

- - - - - It's time to Party Baby! - - - - -

With Mardi Gras this week and Spring Break coming up -- Are you excited Yet?



Where would YOU rather party: *Mardi Gras or Spring Break*


Voice your opinion now and win One-Thousand Dollars for the PARTY OF A
LIFETIME!

-------------------------------------------------------------
Get Excited And Party With The A-Crowd

Mardi Gras/Fat Tuesday was on February 20th this year. February 21st was Ash Wednesday, the day the "official" partying stops and the community begins it's 40 days of repentence.

Sounds like a party!

BOJ

Labels: Spam of the Week

From The Telegraph:

Jamaican police were awaiting the results of pathology tests on the Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer last night to discover if he was murdered.

Mr Woolmer, the former Kent and England all-rounder, was found dead on the floor of his hotel room in New Kingston on Sunday morning, hours after his team was knocked out of the World Cup by Ireland.

A Pakistani cricket fan holds out a sign in memory for the team coach Bob Woolmer, Jamaican police were awaiting the results of pathology tests on the Pakistan cricket coach Bob Woolmer last night to discover if he was murdered
A Pakistani cricket fan holds out a sign in memory for the team coach Bob Woolmer

Rumours about how he died swept the Caribbean and the wider world of cricket yesterday after police said they were treating it as a suspicious death, raising the possibility of murder or suicide as well as natural causes.

The former Pakistan pace bowler Sarfraz Nawaz said Mr Woolmer had been murdered by the "match-fixing mafia". "The theory going around in West Indies police circles is that Woolmer might have been killed by those who wanted to silence him on the issue of match fixing," Mr Nawaz was reported as saying.

An initial autopsy on Mr Woolmer was inconclusive and further fluid and tissue samples were taken from the 58-year-old's body.

Yesterday afternoon, about a dozen forensic officers spent four hours examining Mr Woolmer's 12th floor hotel room. It is believed that there were pools of blood in the room and there were suspicions over vomit found high on the walls. Police refused to confirm or deny reports that marks had been found on Mr Woolmer's throat.

The forensic team left carrying several bags of evidence and a senior officer said the room was being treated as a "potential crime scene".

He added that other rooms in the hotel, which is the base for Pakistan, Ireland, Zimbabwe and the hosts West Indies, were also being looked at.
advertisement

It is unclear how many Pakistan team members have been questioned but detectives indicated that the players and their management may not be free to leave Jamaica as planned on Saturday. Mr Woolmer's widow Gill said from her home in South Africa that she did not believe her husband was the victim of a sinister plot connected with betting rackets and match-fixing. She told an Indian television station: "I don't see any conspiracy in his death.

" He had nothing to do with the match-fixing controversy and any such person being involved is highly unlikely. We never got any threats as far as I know." Her husband had finished two books, a general memoir and a coaching manual, but they were not close to publication.

Mrs Woolmer said she did not know what was in them but dismissed any likelihood that he was killed because of what he might reveal. She had not spoken to him after the defeat by Ireland, one of the sport's greatest upsets, but he had emailed her.

"He did mention that he was really depressed and could not believe how this could have happened. We discussed some personal issues apart from this."

Mrs Woolmer, who has sons Dale, 27, and Russell, 24, did not speak about the possibility of suicide but said that she could see from television pictures that her husband was very tired and under stress.

Mr Woolmer suffered from mild Type 2 diabetes and was taking anti-inflammatory drugs, probably for arthritis.

Mark Shields, the former Scotland Yard officer who is a deputy commissioner of the Jamaican police, said he was not suggesting it was murder, but was ruling nothing out. A minute's silence was held before Pakistan's final match.

Lovie Smith insisted on starting Rex Grossman during the whole season, even in the Super Bowl, but I haven't heard any reports of someone trying to kill him...

BOJ

I'd heard this was going to happen...

BOJ

We're down to eight teams, just four games. Since a bunch of volunteers were defeated by a small nut, I need to pick a new favorite to win it all. With the eight teams remaining, it's really simple. You have to go with a gator. Maybe a bruin would give a gator a tussle, but a gator has no serious challenge here. That's too bad, too, because it was more fun to pick teams that had no chance than to go with the favorite.

Remember, I'm picking soley based on which team would win if their mascots were real and did mortal combat.

Based on that, my picks for Round 4:

Florida vs. Oregon - A duck isn't one of those little birds that picks an alligator's teeth clean and the gator, realizing the bird is doing it a service, doesn't eat it. This is a duck. I'm sure alligators eat ducks all the time in the swamp. Whenever they want. Sort of like a snack. When they have the munchies.

Florida

Kansas vs. UCLA - Look, if I were actually using my sports knowledge here, I'd pick Kansas, but a hawk, a jayhawk (whatever the hell that is) cannot defeat a bear. Oh, a hawk can stay away from a bruin, but can never hope to defeat it. It's simple.

UCLA

UNC vs. Georgetown - Since I've established what a hoya is, and since they're not up against a Lionel Richie lead funk combo, I can't, in good conscience, pick a hoya over a tar heel.

UNC

Ohio St. vs. Memphis - I've picked against the buckeyes in every single round of this tournament. It's not that I don't like Ohio St., it's just that a buckeye is a nut. Aside from the Penn Quakers, the most impotent mascot in the field. What chance do they have against a tiger?

Memphis

First Round Results: 18-14
Second Round Results: 9-7
Third Round Results: 6-2
Overall: 33-23

Seventy-five percent in round three. That's more like it! Those hard drinkin', hard fightin' volunteers nearly pulled out the upset for me, they lead those stupid little nuts by 20 points, but it wasn't meant to be.

Again, as my logic for round four is flawless, I'm sure I'll be reporting on a 4-0 record tomorrow...

BOJ

She's striking a casual pose, there's beer in the shot (and not some crappy mass produced bullshit, a real beer) and she couldn't possibly look better.

Sue Foley Photo Friday Forever!!!

BOJ

Labels: Sue Foley Photo Friday

Pakistan Cricket Coach Bob Woolmer
1948 - 2007

From ABC News:

Phoenix Television Station Fires Worker Suspected of Inserting Porn in News Show

MESA, Ariz. Mar 20, 2007 (AP)— A Phoenix television station fired an employee suspected of inserting pornography into a broadcast of a news show featuring former NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw.

The unnamed worker for ION Media Networks' KPPX-TV "was immediately terminated and faces further legal action" after an investigation determined who was responsible for the March 12 incident, spokeswoman Leslie Monreal said in a statement.

Palm Beach, Fla.-based ION Media Networks, which offers family-friendly programs, called the incident "an intolerable act of human sabotage" and apologized to viewers. About 30 seconds of porn was inserted into the broadcast.

Monreal said in a statement released late last week that the images of sex acts only appeared in the Phoenix market.

The images prompted a flood of calls to local news media outlets and the cable television provider.

BOJ

First Call - 12/27/2006

Moments Later...

BOJ

Labels: Pointless Shit

I have Multiple Sclerosis. If you weren't able to guess by now, it's not a cheap disease to have. I'm currently paying off the MRI that diagnosed my condition. I got the MRI last July, and I have less than $1000 to pay before I'm free of that one. I need another MRI in July.

The medication I take, Betaseron, isn't cheap either. A 30 day supply of Betaseron costs $1680.08. I'm not really sure how much good the Betaseron is doing, I've been taking it since October and I've gotten progressively worse while on the medication. Worse, after my injection (every other day at bedtime), I actually feel worse for about 36 hours. The neurologist assures me this is normal. So I pay $1680.08 monthly for something that makes me feel like shit for a day and a half.

I have insurance, of course. The company I work for had two plans I could choose from. With my condition, I chose the more expensive one, the better one, the plan that provided me with the most coverage.

This plan has a $1250 deductible. That means that this month, I have to shell out $1680.08 for Betaseron. Good news, I met my deductible in one shot! Well, not such good news, after this month, I'm responsible for 20% of all medical bills. So after this month, I'll pay $366.02 per month for my medication. After I already met my ludicrous deductible.

The company I work for sponsers a NASCAR team. Coincidentally, they started their sponsorship at about the same time employees' insurance became really shitty. I did some checking on line today, NASCAR sponsorship doesn't come cheap. Primary Sponsorship (the hood, crew and driver's uniforms) costs anywhere from $12 million to $16 million per year.

I also checked on the number of people my company employs. Seems to be about 20,000 people. A little math shows that NASCAR sponsorship costs between $600 to $800 per employee. If you took that off of my deductible, it would be a pretty manageable amount.

But the company I work for doesn't do that. They saved money by providing us with shitty insurance. Money they used to provide sponsorship for a NASCAR team. A NASCAR team whose best finish this year has beena sixth place.

BOJ

Labels: [Nameless Company]

cunt

Labels: Mega-Bitch Wednesday

The cream ale I brewed during lent is in the bottle (bottled while listening to the music of "Kid" Ramos and Sue Foley). I got two 5 litre mini kegs and 22 bottles out of the batch. Four bottles are sitting in the fridge to be enjoyed after I get off work at 1am on Easter morning.

The leftovers (yes, I have leftover beer) will boil the first brats of the season tonight and then be put on the grill. I am so looking forward to that!

Also, it's 65 degrees in Cheyenne, and for the first time in 2007, I am wearing shorts!

Easily the best day of 2007 so far!

BOJ

Labels: Positive Tuesday

Terry Gilliam started his career as an animator and performer on Monty Python's Flying Circus. the only american in the legendary comedy troup. He'll be remembered primarily for his animations on that show. The foot stomping and the "spppt" sound are iconclastic images in TV comedy history.

When Python started doing feature films, Gilliam co-directed, along with troup member Terry Jones (my least favorite Python, which still makes him one of the funniest people on the planet). That began the career of one of my favorite motion picture directors.

Gilliam's first major solo directorial effort, 1981's Time Bandits was Python-esque, a pure, if absolutely bizzare, comedy.

It was in his next non-Python release, 1985's Brazil, that Gilliam really made his mark. Not really a comedy (no matter how the trailer portrays it), Brazil has become the model, the standard by which all other Gilliam films are judged. And it's one of my favorite films.

Brazil is the story of Sam Lowry, trapped in a super-bureaucratic world of the near future. Sam works for the government in a tedious job. He's dreams are anything but tedious, though. He dreams fantastic dreams. In one of these dreams he meets and falls in love with a woman. Later, he meets the woman of his dreams driving a truck.

Sam gets a transfer to Information Retrieval in order to track down his dream woman. In the course of his job he comes across the strange case of Harry Buttle, a man who died while being mistakenly arrested for not paying his information retrieval charges.

Shortly afterward, he meets Harry Tuttle (amazingly and quite unexpectedly portrayed by Robert DeNiro), a renegade heating and cooling engineer who was the actual suspect in the fatal arrest.

In trouble with the government over the unauthorized heating repairs, Sam finally hooks up with his dream girl and they plan their escape from their dark environment. They make it and settle in a little house in the country.

It's just another one of Sam's dreams.

The end of Brazil is disturbing, an ending Gilliam refused to change even though the studio threatened to never release the movie unless he provided a "happy ending."

I've often considered how different Brazil would have been with a happy ending, how I would have felt had the movie ended with Sam living happily ever after in the country. It's a nice thought, but the world Sam Lowry lived in simply wouldn't allow that. An ending of that sort would have been monumentally unfullfilling. Showing that ending just before everything turns to shit, though, that was brilliant.

I find myself identifying with Sam Lowry. I first saw Brazil when I was in college, years before I worked for the world's largest corporation. Brazil would occasional be mentioned by other employees in that bureaucratic quagmire and I realized that I was living in a much less humorous version of this movie.

Watch the trailer. It gives a glimpse of some of the spectacular effects in this movie. You'll see some of the sets, the real stars of this movie, creating a dark environment these characters are forced to exist in. Mostly you'll see some of the humor, which exists in the movie, but isn't at all what the movie is about.

Watch the trailer, but see the movie. Terry Gilliam has gone on to have an amazing career (The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, The Fisher King, Twelve Monkeys, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Brothers Grimm), but Brazil may have been his finest work, ambitious given the state of cinema technology in 1985, but pulled off brilliantly.

BOJ

Labels: Positive Tuesday

I have to admit it, folks, I've let my sports knowledge creep into my picks. I thought the Wisconsin Badgers were going to beat the UNLV Runnin' Rebels, in terms of Basketball skill, but it's really no contest, a rebel (who don't follow no rules, man) would destroy a badger in real life. Hell, I've shot a badger while pheasant hunting, I wasn't running, but I am a bit of a rebel. I thought Wisconsin would win this one, though, and wrote my pick to reflect that. It won't happen again.

My promise to you, good readers of The Globex Corporation Newsletter is that I will forget everything I know about NCAA Basketball for the remainder of this tournament and make my picks soley on which mascot would defeat the other if the mascots were real and pitted against each other in a battle to the death!!! Nothing else will be factored in.

And now, the round 3 picks:

MIDWEST REGION

Florida vs. Butler - I'm sure this one plays itself out in the great state of Florida several times a year. A bulldog, thinking it's indestructable, saunters (r whatever it is that bulldogs do) up to an alligator and starts barking. The gator devours the bulldog in one bite.

Florida

Oregon vs. UNLV - A duck of any kind is so lucky to have defeated two predators to this point, a real Cinderella story. The clock has struck midnight (Ooh! Poetic!) as those tenacious aquatic birds face a rowdy runnin' rebel.

UNLV

WEST REGION

Kansas vs. S Illinois - A jayhawk is a predator. A saluki is a dog that has been bred to be small and fast. When will we learn to not mess with nature's grand plan?

Kansas

Pittsburgh vs. UCLA - This is one of those battles that's actually likely, a panther against a bear. Like the alligator against the bulldog, I'm sure this one actually happens all the time. Unlike the alligator against the bulldog, the outcome of this one isn't so obvious. A panther is dangerous and ellusive, a bruin can take and inflict lots of damage. A panther is difficult to attack. A bruin can take it and dish it out. My money's on the bear.

UCLA

EAST REGION

UNC vs. USC - I've actually done some resarch on the term Tar Heel and I'm more confused than I was before. Still, a tar heel is from the 18th centruy, a trojan is an ancient greek. The fabled phalanx won't stand up against a group crafty enough to dump tar into a river to slow the progress of an advancing army.

UNC

Vanderbilt vs. Georgetown - The Commodores are responsible for giving us some really dancable funk music in the 1970's. But they broke up and we had to deal with Lionel Richie's horrid solo career. I can't forgive them for that, and will not pick them again in this tournament. Even if a hoya, according to Bellona of Avalon is ...a tropical plant that is actually a parasite, it lodges itself opportunistically on trees and sometimes ends up killing the hand that feeds it... Not something to really root for, but better than Lionel Richie.

Georgetown

SOUTH REGION

Ohio St. vs. Tennessee - Whatever a buckeye is, it's inanimate. It stands no chance against a volunteer, someone who wasn't drafted and is fighting for something it believes in. This one is so simple! Also, why is #1 seed Ohio St. in the South Region instead of the Midwest? I hope they lose jut because of that.

Tennessee

Texas A&M vs. Memphis - The aggies have had an easy time in this tournament, defeating pacifist quakers in the first round then defeating small red birds, something an agricultural student has been trained to do in school, in the second round. Now they face a tiger. This is Texas A&M, I'm sure they haven't learned how to deal with tigers (maybe in grad school, but definitely not as an undergrad). An aggie will undoubtedly be spreading fertilizer or checking the pH of the soil while a tiger rips the unprepared student into little tiny bloody bits.

Memphis

First Round Results: 18-14
Second Round Results: 9-7
Overall: 27-21

Not real successful in the second round, but I'm still quite a bit over .500. Now that I'm not using my sports knowledge, I expect to go 8-0 in the third round, my logic being infalable. Check back on Friday or Saturday for my picks for the next round.

BOJ

This week's ridiculous spam offering:

Re: Were Hiring Locally

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Card Processers Needed Today!


http://greatbusinessnew.com/ardyh?e=3Jp9nJETSIBIYITs&m=624237&l=1

Let's start with the "Re". This not their response to anything I've sent them. That's minor, though a little trick that spammers pull to get you to read their bullshit.

My favorite thing though is the phrase "Were Hiring Locally". If you were hiring, I can only assume that you aren't hiring anymore as you've used the past tense. So why bother me?

Oh, those kooky spammers!

BOJ

Labels: Spam of the Week

A cynic would say that my 18-14 record in this year's NCAA men's basketball tournament isn't that stellar. I say screw you. Since my sports knowledge has always let me down when picking for this tournament, I decided to use none of that knowledge, and instead pick teams based on who would win in a battle to the death between the teams' mascots. Yes, I picked against to #1 seeds, but if you're go with this premise, you have to follow it through to the end.

My picks for the second round:

MIDWEST REGION

Florida vs. Purdue - Wildcats proved that they couldn't hold their liquor in the first round, but how different is a gator? A gator would devour a boilermaker, glass and all with no ill effect. I probably should have researched the effects of alcohol on cold blooded animals...

Florida

Butler vs. Maryland - A bulldog is some sort of crazy tenacious, at least that's what I've learned from cartoons. A turtle is very tough, though and I doubt if a canine could tear through a terrapin's tough shell.

Maryland

Wintrhop vs. Oregon - If Winthrops's mascot were some sort of vegitation, Oregon would have a chance. But Winthrop is an eagle, and Oregon is a duck. It's a no brainer.

Winthrop

UNLV vs. Wisconsin - Rebels still don't follow no rules. Still, against a badger? Caught unaware, a rebel might have a tough time. I'll take the badger in a squeeker.

Wisonsin

WEST REGION

Kansas vs. Kentucky - I'm not sure what distinguishes a jayhawk from any other hawk. I really need to do more research. I'll take a jayhawk over a wildcat though, just because.

Kansas

VA Tech vs. S Illinois - Until someone tells me what the hell a hokie is, I'm not picking them.

S Illinois

VCU vs. Pittsuburgh - The rams somehow beat a bunch of blue devils in the first round, but a ram stands no chance against a panther.

Pittsburgh

Indiana vs. UCLA - When Indiana was settled, many of the first residents were killed by bears. I have no facts to back that up, I don't even know if there were ever any bears in Indiana. A bruin beats a resident of Indiana.

UCLA

EAST REGION

UNC vs. Michigan St. - With the hype surrounding The 300, it's tempting to pick the spartans, and a third round match up against the trojans would be intriguing, but the tarheels were from the revolutionary war (I think, I reall need to do research) so they would have access to better weaponry.

UNC

Texas vs. USC - The cows got by their evil agricultural overlords in the first round and are feeling like world beaters. A poorly armed ancient greek isn't going to stand in their way.

Texas

Vanderbilt vs. Washington St. - I really dug the Commodores in the 70's with their funk classics like Brick House ("she's mighty, mighty - lettin' it all hang out..."), but the Lionel Ritchie funk legends stand no chance against a cougar. I would really like to see that, though...

Washington St.

BC vs. Georgetown - I don't know what a hoya is. See VA Tech vs. S Illinois above.

BC

SOUTH REGION

Ohio St. vs. Xavier - So a buckeye isn't a little candy that my aunt Bonnie makes? It's a nut? Dude, the musketeers have muskets!

Xavier Round 2 upset special!

Tennessee vs. Virginia - Volunteers vs. cavaliers? The volunteers from Tennessee were hard fightin' and hard drinkin'. How could I ever pick against them? Also, coach Bruce Pearl painting himself orange and sitting with the students at a Tennessee Women's B-Ball game was the coolest thing I've seen in years, matched only by Women's coach Pat Summitt dressing as a cheerleader and singing Rocky Top when the men beat Florida.

Tennessee

Louisville vs. Texas A&M - At an agricultural college, the aggies learn how to deal with pests such as cardinals.

Texas A&M

Nevada vs. Memphis - A truly intriguing match up. These wolves hunt in packs. Against a tiger? I used to watch Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom when I was a kid, but Marlon Perkins never featured this particular battle on Sunday night. Maybe I should ask Jim Fowler. Stop me before I sub-reference again...

Memphis Jim Fowler won't return my calls...

Frist Round Results: 18-14
Overall: 18-14

With both Blue Devils teams eliminated this week, the field is wide open. My favorite to win t all? Tennessee, though a third round game against a bunch of musketeers from Xavier could prove problematic.

BOJ

Joseph W. Cox
The Arizona Republic

Mar. 13, 2007 04:10 PM

Some Cox Communications cable customers may have seen much more than they wanted Monday night as sexually explicit content interrupted programming on the ION Network.

Julie Brazil, a Cox customer, reported the incident to Cox Communications and The Arizona Republic Monday night. She said a program she was watching on channel 17 with her two young children was interrupted by pornographic images.

"It was like the TV went silent and all of sudden it flipped to another channel." Brazil said.
advertisement


The program interrupted was called ION Life, a show about the "State of US Healthcare" hosted by Tom Brokaw according to the Cox TV listings. The program was interrupted for about five minutes.

It is still unclear how the explicit content made its was way onto the screen. Andrea Katsenes, a spokeswoman for Cox Communications, said that the problem came from the ION Network, not through Cox.

"It was definitely a source problem," Katsenes said.

The ION Network could not be reached for comment.

Actually it was traffic's fault, but they somehow get off scott free. That's the way stuff works at [Nameless Company], anyway.

BOJ

Turn you computer monitor on its side and get a load of this! It's Sue playing the title track to New Used Car, and she's smokin' hot! A great song played by a fantastic looking woman.

BOJ

Labels: Sue Foley Photo Friday

From the San Francisco Chronicle:

BERKELEY

Nude people to pose in disputed oak grove

Dozens of naked people are expected to converge on an embattled oak grove in Berkeley on Saturday for a photography shoot.

San Francisco photographer Jack Gescheidt plans to photograph the naked people posing with oaks, redwoods, laurels and other trees next to Memorial Stadium. About eight protesters have been perched in the trees since Dec. 2, hoping to derail the University of California's plan to remove some of the trees to build an athletic training center.

The photo will be part of Gescheidt's Tree Spirit Project, a collection of mostly black-and-white images of naked people and trees.

In 1992, UC banned nudity on campus in the wake of the au naturel jaunts of student Andrew Martinez, also known as Naked Guy. UC police could not be reached for comment Tuesday.

BOJ

Labels: Pointless Shit

From Onion Sports:

CINCINNATI—Although Ken Griffey Jr. had nearly recovered from a broken hand sustained while playing with his children in December, his rehabilitation came to a sudden halt yesterday when a gentle 2 mph breeze wafted across his leg, shattering his femur in three places. "I knew it was broken right when that breeze hit me," said Griffey, who was walking from his sports therapist's office to his car in order to drive to his daughter's piano recital at the time of the injury. "These things just happen. If I would have known a breeze like that was coming, I never would have left the house." Reds manager Jerry Narron has stated that, upon Griffey's return to the Reds, he will be fitted with a personalized protective bubble to be worn for the remainder of the season.

BOJ

Labels: Stuff From The Onion

I have a piggy bank that I put pennies in. Nothing but pennies, coinage that I find absolutely useless. In another container, I throw the rest of my loose change, except for the quarter which are necessary for laundry. Yes, daily, I sort my change. When I empty my pockets at the end of the day, I have three distinct places for my change to go.

The piggy bank has been full for some time now, it's been hard to get more pennies into it. The other container had quite a load of coins in it as well. I had to do something with my coinage.

I've used the CoinStar machines for some time now. They take 8.9 cents for every dollars worth of change you redeem. Now that sucks, but on the other hand, most banks charge you a similar amount if you take change to them.

Recently, CoinStar began offering gift cards for the money you turn in. One of the things they offer is gift cards for iTunes. Get this, if you get a gift card, CoinStar doesn't take their 8.9 cents/dollar, the entire amount you redeem goes toward the gift card. So I took my undeterined amount of change down to Albertsons and walked up to the CoinStar machine and dumped my change into it.

My total? Twenty-four dollars and ninety-four cents! Nearly ten dollars worth of pennies! That's a nice iTunes gift card!

So I bought Sue Foley's New Used Car and a Ben Folds iTunes exclusive (Ben is a big iTunes supporter) plus Ben's cover of Bitches Ain't Shit. Listening to the iTunes exclusive right now which has a lot of interview segments with Ben, which is fascinating stuff. I did listen to some of the Sue Foley, but it was the Ben Folds that really intrigued me. I suppose it just depends on how I was feeling today.

So I've got to new things to listen to for the cost of stuff that was just sitting around in my bedroom. That's not too bad.

BOJ

In a twist, this week's MBW has been cancelled.

If I started bitching today, I probably wouldn't stop.

BOJ

Labels: Mega-Bitch Wednesday

There are a couple of movies that I really like, that if they're on TV, I stop what I'm doing and watch them. One is 1942's Casablanca. Generally considered one of the best three movies ever made (I don't really care for the other two that traditionally make that list), Casablanca is probably the best script ever produced. It's a fine story, is filled with interesting characters, both the the leads and the bit characters, and finishes with a nice twist. Hard to beat.

Another movie that I have to watch if it's on TV is 1994's Clerks, which I saw last night at work. Clerks and Casablanca are probably my two favorite movies, and though made over fifty years apart, they're very similar movies. Both are shot in black and white, both are script driven, both have an unforgetable group of characters.

That's about where the similarities end. Clerks is the story of Dante Hicks, a convenience store clerk trapped in a nowhere job. He's good at his job, takes pride in it, actually sees it as more important than it actually is. He gets stuck at work on his day off when his boss goes off to Vermont without telling him. He finds out an old girlfriend is getting married. He's pestered by his current girlfriend about going back to college and moving up in life.

While Dante is down on his life but doing his job to the best of his ability, best friend, Randal, who works at the video store next door, couldn't be much different. Randal hates his job, hates the customer, routinely closes the store to go and see Dante and is far from the model employee.

I always identified with Dante, who I resemble somewhat (actually, that's me in the photo...). Dante is good at his job but is unappreciated. That gets him down. I've felt like that in most every job I've had. When I first saw Clerks I identified with Dante, he was in a nowhere job, did it extremely well, wasn't noticed by management (who routinely screw him over), but did his job proudly.

Randal is the guy who belittles customers, goes so far as to spit water in a customer's face at one point. He's not going anywere in his job, but you can see why. It makes sense. Randal is a screw up who doesn't treat his job seriously. He doesn't care whether he has his job or not and it definitely shows.

I was never like Randal in my jobs, but at times I felt like him. I wished I could be like Randal but found myself being more like Dante. As much as I want to screw around, I find myself taking my job seriously, treating my job like it's the most important thing in the world.

The movie's twist, of course, is that Randal has it all right. He's in a nowhere job, a job that he doesn't intend to keep for the rest of his life so he doesn't stress about it, doesn't let it get him down like Dante does.

After a physical altercation in the convenience store. The folliwng exchange happens, that, to me, is what the movie is all about:

DANTE
You get my slapped with a fine, you
fight with the customers and I have
to patch everything up. You get us
chased out of a funeral by violating
a corpse. To top it all off, you
ruin my relationship. What's your
encore? Do you anally rape my
mother while pouring sugar in my
gas tank?
(sighs)
You know what the real tragedy is?
I'm not even supposed to be here
today!

RANDAL
(suddenly outraged)
Fuck you. Fuck you, pal. Listen to
you trying to pass the buck again.
I'm the source of all your misery.
Who closed the store to play hockey?
Who closed the store to attend a
wake? Who tried to win back an ex-
girlfriend without even discussing
how he felt with his present one?
You wanna blame somebody, blame
yourself.
(beat, as DANTE)
"I'm not even supposed to be here
today."
(whips stuff at DANTE)
You sound like an asshole. Whose
choice was it to be here today?
Nobody twisted your arm. You're
here today of your own violation,
my friend. But you'd like to
believe that the weight of the
world rests on your shoulders-that
the store would crumble if Dante
wasn't here. Well, I got news for
you, jerk: This store would survive
without you. Without me either. All
you do is overcompensate for having
what's basically a monkey's job:
You push fucking buttons. Any moron
can waltz in here and do our jobs,
but you're obsessed with making it
seem so much more fucking important,
so much more epic than it really is.
You work in a convenience store,
Dante. And badly, I might add. And
I work in a shitty video store.
Badly, as well.
(beat)
You know, that guy Jay's got it
right-he has no delusions about
what he does. Us? We like to make
ourselves seem so much better than
the people that come in here, just
looking to pick up a paper or-God
forbid-cigarettes. We look down on
them, as it we're so advanced.
Well, if we're so fucking advanced,
then what are we doing working here?

Randal has it right. RST Video and the Quick Stop will survive withouth Dante and Randal. A job, a shitty job, isn't the most important thing in one's life. I've had a number of jobs, a number of them have been purchased by other companies, but all survived without BOJ. They all went on.

I'm not saying that I'm moving on from where I am now, but I will some day, and [Nameless Company] will survive without me. No matter how important I think I am. No matter how good (or bad) I am at my job.

BOJ

Labels: Positive Tuesday

From my Inbox:

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Best of success,

Your illegal plan intrigues me, pleas, tell me more...

BOJ

Labels: Spam of the Week

I've tried lots of ways of picking winners in the NCAA Basketball tournament. Nothing ever works, except for that one year I almost won $800 in a pool. Even then, I ended up with nothing, so whatever I'm doing isn't working.

So this year I've decided something differnt. Imagine, if you will, that the mascots for a team were real, and instead of the basketball teams playing, imagine the mascots doing battle. Who would win? That's how I'm making this year's NCAA picks.

MIDWEST REGION

Florida Gators vs. Jackson State Tigers - A tiger is tough, so is a gator. The setting of the battle would matter, of course. I'm imagining this one in the water.

Florida

Arizona Wildcats vs. Purdue Boilermakers - I'm assuming that the boilermakers we're talking about here is the cocktail. Felines aren't known for their ability to hold their liquor.

Purdue

Butler Bulldogs vs. Old Dominion Monarchs - A monarch would have access to all sorts of weaponry, a bulldog just has teeth.

Old Dominion

Maryland Terrapins vs. Davidson Wildcats - In case you didn't know, a terrapin is a type of turtle.

Davidson

Notre Dame Fightin' Irish vs. Wintrhop Eagles - This game will be played the day before St. Patrick's day. The Fightin' Irish will be relativly sober in anticipation of the big day. They won't be seeing multiple eagles, so things should work out for them.

Notre Dame

Oregon Ducks vs. Miami (OH) RedHawks - An avian battle. Hawks, regardless of their color, are predators.

Miami (OH)

UNLV Runnin' Rebels vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets - They're rebels, they don't follow no rules.

UNLV

Wisconsin Badgers vs. TAMU-CC Islanders - Nothing is tougher than a badger, certainly not an islander, who wouldn't be expecting a badger on their island.

Wisconsin

WEST REGION

Kansas Jayhawks vs. FAMU Rattlers or Niagra Purple Eagles - The battle of three predators. Intrguing. A purple eagle would stand out too much, a rattler can't strike at a swooping jayhawk.

Kansas

Kentucky Wildcats vs. Villanova Wildcats - My system shows its first true weakness. Kentucky is alphabeticaly before Villanova.

Kentucky

VA Tech Hokies vs. Illinois Fightin' Illini - I don't know what a hokie is. An illini is a proud warrior.

Illinois

S Illinois Salukis vs. Holy Cross Crusaders - A saluki is a dog. A crusader did battle in the holy land.

Holy Cross

Duke Blue Devils vs. Virginia Commonwelth Rams - Again, intrguing. Satanists use ram's heads in their godless ceremonies. But a blue devil is still a devil.

Duke

Pittsburgh Panthers vs. Wright St. Raiders - Considering the season the Oakland Raiders had last year, they couldn't beat anyone, especially a panther.

Pittsburgh

- Indiana Hossiers vs. Gonzaga Bulldogs - A hoosier is defined as a person from Indiana. That's not all that inspiring as a mascot. Neither is a bulldog, but a bulldog is more viscious than, say, David Letterman.

Gonzaga

UCLA Bruins vs. Weber st. Wildcats - Another group of wildcats, these go down to a large and angry bear.

UCLA

EAST REGION

North Carolina Tarheels vs. Easter Kentucky Colonels - Tarheels referred to a group of volunteer soldiers from North Carolina. A colonel outranks a mere soldier.

Eastern Kentucky in the HUGE upset

Marquette Golden Eagles vs. Michigan St. Spartans - Golden eagles don't stand a chance against ancient greek warriors who were conditioned for the horrors of battle.

Michigan St.

USC Trojans vs. Arkansas Razorbacks - More ancient greeks, this time defeating a wild hog.

USC

Texas Longhorns vs. New Mexico St. Aggies - Longhorns are cows with ridiculously long horns, aggies are students at an agricultural school. Cows and farmers. The cows always eventually end up dead.

New Mexica St. (for good friend MoniP)

Vanderbilt Commodores vs. George Washington Colonials - The '70's funk band featuring Lionel Richie vs. a bunch of rowdies with musketts? This one's a no-brainer.

George Washington

Washington St. Cougars vs. Oral Roberts Golden Eagles - An eagle would be able to avoid the strikes of a cougar, but if the eagle ever finds itself in range of the cougar, the eagle is done.

Washington St.

Boston College Eagles vs. Texas Tech Red Raiders - Thes raiders are ok because they don't wear silver and black. I think they handle an eagle.

Texas Tech

Georgetown Hoyas vs. Belmont Bruins - No one has ever explained to me what a hoya is. Doesn't matter, the bruin is a majestic beast that wins this one going away.

Upset special Belmont

SOUTH REGION

Ohio St. Buckeyes vs. C. Connecticut St. Blue Devils - My aunt Bonnie makes these really good little candies called buckeyes. Delicious, but what chance does a delicious candy have agains the awesome power of Satan himself, blue or any other color?

C. Connecticut St.

BYU Cougars vs. Xavier Musketteers - By definition, Musketteers have a weapon with much more range than the strike of a cougar. Does .50 calibre ball ammunition have enough stopping power?

Xavier

Tennessee Volunteers vs. Long Beach St. 49ers - They were volunteer soldiers, so Tennessee get's the nod over a buch of rowdy miners.

Tennessee

Virginia Cavaliers vs. Albany Great Danes - Though their manners and sense of fair play will hamstring them against a really big dog (like Scooby Doo and Marmaduke), I'm assuming that cavaliers have an array of weapons to use.

Virginia

Louisville Cardinals vs. Stanford Cardinal - A real bird versus an abract idea like a color. You can't beat a color, but it can't beat you. This is stupid.

There are no winners here

Texas A&M Aggies vs. Penn Quakers - Quakers are pacifists. This is literally no contest.

Texas A&M

Nevada Wolf Pack vs. Creighton Blue Jays - These aren't just wolves, but wolves smart enough to attack in packs, coming at you from all directions at once. Against a bird?

Nevada

Memphis Tigers vs. N. Texas Mean Green - Another color. Wait this color wishes you ill will. Still, against a tiger?

Memphis

Let's see if I do any better than in past years.

BOJ

Just some of the fun to be found at Friends of The Globex Corporation. Join today! It don't cost nothin'...

You're all friends of the Globex Corporation already, but here's a chance to join in the fun.

Share your thoughts on Music, Brewing and Global Domination or whatever else you want.

Direct your web browser to this location to join in on the fun! Registration is required (sorry!). Let me know if anything looks stupid or isn't working the way I intended.

BOJ

The company I work for posted a 15% rise in fourht quarter net income. You'd think that'd be a good thing. You'd think that a low level button pusher like myself would see some benefit from this. Some. Any.

I've seen changes, but not the kind that I like. Starting on March 1st, the deductible for our medical plan went up to $1250. A company that's showing unexpected profits is treating their employees like this, cutting benefits and basically saying that they don't give a shit about us.

Oh, we got a bonus for hitting 13 million subscribers. A whopping $250. Yeah, less than two days pay for me. You call that shit some kind of bonus? If this company was losing money, I'd understand, but it posted a 15% rise in fourht quarter net income. That's a gain, not a loss. The company is making more money, not losing it.

I got a raise starting with my last paycheck. I'm actually taking home about $100 less per month than I was before my raise due in part to this shitty new insurance. You call that a raise? You give me a bonus that won't cover my insurance deductible? Fuck you.

I'm at a point where I really need insurance. For the first time in my life I'm not entirely healthy. For the first time in my life I'm relying on my employer to provide the health coverage I need. I need it.

Let me tell you about the fine insurance I have. I looked up the medical specialty I need. There were four in network providers in Cheyenne. Well, actually not. Each was listed twice. So there's only two. One isn't taking any new patients, so there's really only one. That one couldn't see me for nearly two months.

I was understandably upset. I let them know how upset I was. They decided that they didn't want me as a patient. A NEUROLOGIST IS REFUSING TREATMENT TO A PERSON WITH MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS!!!!

And my insurance is just fine with this. There are neurologists I can see in Ft. Collins, CO, after all. It's just a 45 mile drive for me, a guy with MS. How dare I be upset about something like this.

Then yesterday I get a call from my current Neurologist, someone I haven't seen since October when I started my treatment, someone who diagnosed my MS in August and put off the start of my treatment for two fucking months. They wanted to know how I was doing. Five months later they want to know how I'm doing.

I told them I wasn't doing well and was getting another Neurologist in my insurance network. They inquired as to me insurance carrier. When I told them, they told me that they had just signed up with that company and that I should look into staying with my neurologist.

So today I called my insurance. My current neurologist isn't covered, they looked to see if there was any paperwork pending. Nope.

So I called the neurologist and asked what the fuck was up. They can't tell me. Or won't tell me. Or don't know. Or something.

So after spending all fucking morning on the damn phone I don't know shit. No one will tell me shit. It's fucking infuriatitng. And I'm in the same place as I was when I started this bullshit.

My company is making me pay too much for bad insurance. And the shit of it all is that my only other option would have been to take even shitier insurance.

The minimum I ask from any employer is that they pay me a fair wage. I could argue that I'm not getting that, but for the sake of argument, let's assume I'm making what I'm worth.

Now on top of that, it's nice if the employer provides some benefits above and beyond a mere hourly wage. Like insurance of reasonable value at a reasonable price. Not even close.

So the company is doing the the bare minimum for me. You could argue that it's doing even less than that, but let's just give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they're doing the bare minimum.

What I need to know now is what is the bare minimum amount of work I can do to keep my job. If they want to give me the bare minimum, I can repay in kind.

BOJ

Labels: [Nameless Company]

Because I said I would.

BOJ

Labels: Sue Foley Photo Friday

Not today either, I guess.

BOJ

Even the MBW is out. I'll try to bring it all together for Sue Foley Photo Friday.

BOJ

Labels: Mega-Bitch Wednesday

A bad day all the way around yesterday. Positive Tuesday is cancelled for this week. Could lead to one hell of an MBW.

Stay tuned.

BOJ

Labels: Positive Tuesday

More spam for you.

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So much fun here, I don't know where to start. Yeah I do, the address. If I don't want to get this email anymore all I have to do is send a letter to Nevis. That's in the Carribean. They've got a good record of recognizing US law down there.

Tell you what. I'll give you some slot advice. I'll give it to you for free right here, you don't have to buy my book.

I'm sorry I can't make any promises like you "pocketing loads of cash from the one armed bandits." Any gambling "system" that promises that you can "beat the system" is not worth your time, let alone your money. So here is my free advice on slot machines:

DON"T PLAY SLOT MACHINES

If you follow my system, you will never again loose money playing slot machines. There are legitimate slot machine strategies, but they involve which machines to avoid, which machines to play so that you have the best odds. Rest assured that any slot machince you ever play will have odds that are in the casino's favor. Some will have odds that are not as much in the casino's favor. If you choose to play slot machines, these are the machines to play. Doing so will not assure you of pockinging loads of cash.

Any slot system you employ, any single one, is completely at the mercy of the casinos. Unlike a table game where there are rules, mathmatics that don't change, slot can be manipulated by the casino. The odds on a machine can be changed at the whim of a casino. If you're doing something on a slot machine that works, the casinos will change how they work and pay out.

Think you can do it annonymously and move from machine to machine? Any substantial payout requires an attendent. Any substatial payout requires you fill out tax forms so that you have to claim the win as income.

I've had to do this. Yes, I've played slots. Yes, I've won big. No, it wasn't becasue I'm a great slots player. Anyone who tells you that is a liar. The appeal of slots is: 1) you don't need any skill to play and 2) you can win big with a minimum investment.

Slots are basically for people with dumb luck. If that's your "system," if that works for you then go for it.

BOJ

Labels: Spam of the Week

With Doyle Redland

Nation's Substitute Teachers Would Like To Know Who Threw That

Listen to the story here.

It took The Onion, to tell me that there is a National Association of Substitute Teachers? See, you can learn stuff by reading The Onion. Here, not so much.

BOJ

Labels: Stuff From The Onion

An exciting final for the 2007 Saturday Swing Shift RPS Tournament. From the very beginning, it promised to be a classic. The two weeks of hype before the even just served to whip the fanbase into a frenzy, it was standing room only in the Reaux-Sham-Dome as the two gladiators entered the field of battle.

Would Rashid be able to keep up his frenetic RPS pace in a best of nine format? Would BPM stay in his game and just win throws? The only way to answer questions like these is to just play the game.

Rashid - The "New Guy"-----------------R S P P R S R R P P - 3
BPM - The "Button Pushing Monkey"--R P R S S R R P S S - 5

It looked to be a typical Rashid match, as the first throw was a push. Rashid took 3 of the next 4 throws to take a seemingly insurmountable 3-1 lead. BPM didn't panic, staying in his game. A "Rock crushes Scissosr" throw tightened the match to 3-2 for Rashid. Then BPM's conditioning really paid of. A push throw, normally right into Rashid's wheelhouse, seemed to send "The New Guy" reeling. Obviously winded, Rashid fell in the next three throws, giving BPM a hard fought 5-3 victory.

BREAKDOWN

Sean Salisbury
"BPM kept Rashid out of his game. You expect the huge number of pushes in any match that Rashid is involved in, but it just didn't happen this time. BPM didn't change his game for this match. He's dominant and he knows it. BPM has thrown "Rock" just over 40% of the time in this tournament, and that's exactly what he did in this match. BPM's strategy should have been no surprise to Rashid. Seemingly it was."

Ron Jaworski
"Rashid came out of the gates on fire in this one. His early 3-1 lead reminded me of Devin Hester's opening kickoff return in Super Bowl XLI. And it was. Rashid failed to mount an effective attack after taking the early, almost insurmountable lead."


Dick Vitale
"IT'S RPS TOURNEY ACTION, BABY!!! BPM is a PRME TIME PLAYER! Rashid is a real DIAPER DANDY with a real future in competetive RPS, but the day belongs to BPM! He's a real.... oh, I've got nothin'... sometimes I even annoy myself..."

Dennis Miller
"I don't want to get off on a rant here, but BPM looked like General Beauregard at the first Battle of Manassas here, and that really made Rashid's bull run..."

Keith Olberman
"Rashid lost? It's all Bill O'Reiley's fault..."

Anna Nicole Smith
"Is either of them rich? Oh, what do I care, I'm dead. I am in the news more now than before, though, and isn't that what's important?"

John Tortorella (Tampa Bay Lightnng Head Coach)
"Dennis Miller completely stole my look. God I hate that bastard..."

RPS Ranking

1. BPM (12 Wins - 5 Losses - 7 Pushes)


2. Rashid (10-8-15)


3. Darin (2-4-5)


4. BOJ (4-5-5)


5. Sean (1-3-8)


6. Scott (2-3-1)


7. Slick (1-3-1)

BOJ

Labels: RPS Tournament

From the Wall Street Journal:

[Nameless Company] Communications Inc., the country's No. 2 satellite TV provider, posted a 15% rise in fourth-quarter net income, driven by better-than-expected subscriber growth and a 17% revenue increase.

The Englewood, Colo. company added about 350,000 net new subscribers during the December quarter, more than many analysts expected. [Nameless Company] ended the year with 13.11 million subscribers, up 1.07 million subscribers from 2005.

Like its rival, DirecTV Group Inc., [Nameless Company] has deliberately tightened credit policies for more than a year. This has helped improve profitability but slowed subscriber growth. Subscriber growth appeared weak through most of 2006 because of the credit policies. Subscriber growth was also expected to be slowed a bit in the quarter because the company lost a court battle over its carriage of "distant signals" that forced it to pull ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox stations in an estimated 800,000 to 900,000 customers throughout the country.

Despite the issues during the quarter, [Nameless Company] ended up adding more subscribers than rival DirecTV, which added 275,000 net new subscribers during the quarter.

The fourth quarter "marked the fourth time in the past five quarters that [Nameless Company] outperformed DirecTV in net additions," Cowen analyst Tom Watts wrote in a note. Mr. Watts had anticipated 270,000 net additions during the quarter.

[Nameless Company] earned $153 million, or 35 cents a share, in the fourth quarter, up from $133 million, or 30 cents a share, a year earlier. Revenue rose 17% to $2.58 billion from $2.2 billion a year ago.

Fourth-quarter results "paint a picture of a company that is rolling along nicely, thank you very much," Craig Moffett, analyst at Sanford Bernstein, wrote in a note.

Despite the better-than-expected subscriber figures, Mr. Moffett noted that some concerns lurk in the numbers. Profit margins were weak with gross margins at the lowest level since 2004. Also, subscriber acquisition costs, at $704 per subscriber, were higher than expected, he said.

Satellite companies have faced pressure from cable companies in the past year as customers are lured away by cable providers' popular "triple play" bundle of TV, Internet and phone services. This has been a challenge because satellite companies aren't able to offer competing bundles without the help of a partner.

[Nameless Company] is also embroiled in numerous legal battles. Among them, the company's patent case with TiVo Inc. doesn't seem to be letting up any time soon after a federal appeals court decided in October to let [Nameless Company] continue offering its digital video recorder service while it appeals an earlier jury ruling that it had infringed on TiVo's patent.

As employees, we were tasked with reaching the the 13 Million level by the first of this year. We acheived that and were each given $250 and a day off.

On March 1st, our insurance deductable went up to $1250.

I have Multiple Sclerosis.

BOJ

The preceeding is my own work (except when attributed otherwise) and does not nor is it intended to reflect the opinions or practices of [Nameless Company].

Want the inside scoop on The 2007 Saturday Swing Shift RPS Tournament Championship? Subscribe to RPS Tournaments Preview. Here's just a taste of what you'll get every month:

Rashid - The "New Guy"
A gruelling night at work, handling Sport Alts may have taken a lot out of Rashid. A competitor, Rashid will show up to today's match willing, but will his body be ready for the best of nine format?.


BPM - The "Button Pushing Monkey"
A strategic day off taken on the eve of the finals should serve BPM well. He should be well rested for today's match.

Latest betting line (Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas):

Rashid (-.5)
Over/Under (18 throws)


The 2007 Saturday Swing Shift RPS Tournament Championship is brought to you by these fine sponsors:







BOJ

Labels: RPS Tournament