Wednesday, June 21, 2006

 

What Happened to Pro Wrestling?

french
ECW Wrestler, Spike Dudley about to get messed up!
I have a love/hate relationship with professional wrestling. One of my prize possesions is an ECW Extreme Wrestling T-Shirt given to me by Jenny Lamb when we were both working at USSB. Sadly neithher USSB or ECW exist any more. Yes, there is an ECW, they just debuted a show on SciFi Channel last week (SciFi? What the HELL is up with that?) but it's not really ECW after they were purchased by WWF who then changed their name to WWE, I guess since people were confusing the aims of the World Wildlife Fund and the World Wresling Federation.

Anyway, I started watching pro wrestling when I was in first grade. My dad was overseas and we were living in my mom's hometown. On Sundays, after church, my sister and I would watch All-Star Wrestling (...with wrestlers from around the globe...) on TV. This was classic early 70's wrestling with the likes of Vern and Greg Gagne, Jesse Venutra, Rick Flair and my favorite, Chief Wahoo McDaniel. Mom got kind of sick of my sister and I yelling so much about wrestling every week that she told us that it was fake.

I was crushed! How could this be? Yet, even at eight years old, it all made sense. These guys were supposedly taking huge ammounts of punishment in the ring but the good guy could always overcome and win in the end. It was the story lines that really clinched it. Good vs. Evil. Good always prevailed unless Evil cheated and even then all was eventually set right in the rematch.

That same formula applied into the 80's when WWF became a phenomenon. Hulk Hogan became a superstar, not just of wrestling but of pop culture in general. There was a Saturday Morning cartoon show in which the story lines weren't any less complex than the story lines played out at every WWF event. Inane to be sure, but damn it, it was clearly defined Good vs. clearly defined Evil and Good won out more times than not.

Then something happened. Hulk Hogan turned bad. He became "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan. Aside here, Hogan began his wrestling career under the name Terry Hogan, taking the nickname "Hulk" because of his enormity. When he turned evil and added a nickname, he added it before a pre-existing nickname. What the fuck is up with that? "Hollywood" Hulk Hogan? Sometimes people refer to me (really, they do) as "Blind" Orange Julius. If I required people to refer to me a "Cowboy" Blind Orange Julius (I do live in Cheyenne, Wyoming for Christ's sake....) someone would come to lock me up. OK, nobody would give a shit, but it would just be a really stupid thing for me to do.

Anyway, Hulk Hogan turned evil, but it was still Good vs. Evil. Sometime after that, though, the whole Good and Evil thing went away. "Good" guys were cheating to win matches every bit as much as "Bad" guys. Obviously it's not a real athletic contest, but the flashy colors of professional wrestling really appeals to 6 year olds, who are learning that cheating is OK, that winning is the only important thing.

I'm sure it wasn't pro wrestling's intent, but they used to be these little, poorly written and acted morality plays in which good always prevailed and if it didn't there was a damn good reason. We've got none of that any more. It's just a bunch of 'roided up behemonths shouting profanities at each other and beating each other with metal chairs while their skanky, scantily clad slutty bitch managers (or whatever the hell they're supposed to be) give us something else to look at when we get bored with the wrestling.

But my biggest beef with professional wrestling is the rules. When I started watching wrestling, there were rules. You couldn't hit someone with a closed fist, wrestler could be counted out of the ring, only one man from each team was allowed in the ring in a tag team match. OK, they were just pretending that there were rules, but in wrestling today they don't even bother to pretend. Other wrestlers come into the ring and interfere and just one guy from each tag team in the ring? Forget about it! It's now four guys just wailing on each other, biting scratching, punching, it's all good baby.

So why do I get worked up about this? In a way I don't, but I find it pretty entertaining. It's my guilty pleasure. I just got back from the theater. I saw Nacho Libre. I watched it because it had Jack Black in it (of THE D!!!!), but mostly because it was about wrestling. I enjoy wrestling. I get to watch it at work. Last week I showed up to work in my ECW t-shirt and my Jeoprardy! cap, sort of my own "duality of man" statement.

I know that wrestling is fake, and have learned to forgive my mother for letting the cat out of the bag (the Chief Wahoo McDaniel autograph that she got for me helped too). I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions on stuff, I can tell when stuff is complete bullshit

This crap is written at a level so it can be enjoyed by grade school kids. That's where I have a problem. Kids can't tell bullshit from the real deal. Kids see their favorite wrestler cheat without consequences and start to think that cheating is acceptable. Start to believe that cheating is OK as long as you don't get caught and come up with better, less obvious ways of cheating.

But, man do I love pro wrestling. I can't help myself. I could spend the next 1000 words discussing the brilliance of Andy Kaufman's wrestling stunts, how he got pro wrestling better than pro wrestling promoters did. I saw Jerry "the King" Lawler in a match against ECW's Taz last week and I couldn't keep from smiling. Lawler got it, was in on it with Kaufman. And even people who knew Andy Kaufman was a complete fraud wanted to believe that Lawler pile-drived (pile-drove?) Kaufman at that match in Memphis. Brilliant! They got it, evil loudmouthed Hollywood boy was punished by noble wrestler. Good defeated Evil on the grandest of stages. People still talk about that shit. Some people still believe it was all real, even after Lawler has publicly stated that it was all a put on.

People wanted to belive it was real, so they did.

Wrestling used to be brilliant. What the hell happened?

"Cowboy" BOJ

Comments:
You said it in the beginning, Hollywood. They've screwed up many things.
 
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

The Bert Convey
Principle
Friends' Blogs
My Photo
Name:
Location: United States

I'm not telling you anything...

archives