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Before last night, I had never seen an episode of How I Met Your Mother. In truth, I never would have watched it if the person I was with hadn't been watching it. All in all, it seems to be a funny show, I'm not sure if I'll ever watch it on my own, but I got a giggle out of it.

It was this part that got me thinking:


If you're a guy, this rings just a little bit too true. Face it, as guys we are much more forgiving of "hot" women than we are of those who are not so hot. Unfair? Probably, but that's just the way it goes.

Just to be clear, here is a restatement of Barney's theorem. A woman is allowed to be crazy up to a level equaling her "hottness." Crossing "The Vickie Mendoza Diagonal" is not allowed. At this point, the woman must be dumped.

I have only been "in love" 4 times in my life. If only I'd had "The Hot/Crazy Scale" to consult before each of those relationships. I'm not attracted to crazy women, but I sort of bring that out in women. I don't think I've ever started a relationship with a woman who was below "The Vickie Mendoza Diagonal," but all of my relationships, save my current one, have ended as that line was crossed.

My ex-wife, for example seemed nice enough. Not hot, exactly, but an attractive enough woman. She didn't start out crazy, but she ended up that way. Maybe I drove her to it, maybe it's just the way things were bound to turn out, I don't know. I never should have tried to hang on as she made the mad dash through "The Vickie

Mendoza Diagonal."

The next woman, let's call her 2C was as close to an insane person as I've ever been involved with. She was just plain crazy. Smart as all hell, but 2C had a kind of tenuous grip on reality. Very attractive, but after a while I had to ask myself if she was worth it. The answer was a resounding NO!!!


The last woman I'll be plotting on the Hot/Crazy Scale (I know better than to comment like this on current relationships, even if she claims not to read this blog anymore) is a woman I call 5-55. She was one of the nicest people I've ever met. She was older than myself, even older than I am now, so it's hard to describe her as "hot." Still, she was attractive enough, and really, in the grand scheme of things, not all that crazy. She probably spent most of our time together right at "The Vickie Mendoza Diagonal." She probably didn't cross the line, but somehow it didn't work out.

Of these women, two of them (at least) are married now, so other men are dealing with the Hot/Crazy Scale in those instances. I hope the men in those cases handle the ratio better than I did. I could have plotted for women I just dated, but if you think 2C was scary, you should have seen some of the short term relationships I was in...

BOJ