Globex Corporation Newsletter

While I usually don't pattern my life after things I see in sitcoms (The Simpsons is another matter entirely), this is something I found kind of fun. From an episode of Friends, 3.05 The One With Frank, Jr., [someone] and I each give you what was termed in the episode a Freebie or Laminated List.

In short, it's a list of women I'm really attracted to and a corresponding list of men [someone] is attracted to, so much so that, should the opportunity arise, a dalliance with a person on the list would be forgiven. Am I getting the idea across without being too graphic?

Anyway, La Güera and I decided to do lists like this. We sort of decided on allowing three each as two of mine will be so obvious as to make this a sort of un-fun exercise for me.

So here's my Laminated List:

Sue Foley

Ottawa born, she grew up, musically, anyway, in Austin, TX. Sue is gorgeous and I'd be lying if I pretended to give any other reason as being the main reason she's on this list.

She's a redhead, that just does something for me, I can't explain it.

Next, she's a musician. Not just a musician, but a blues guitarist. She truly is my favorite blues guitarist playing today. Her music is sexy, a fine song writer, songs like Sugar, Make It Real and New Used Car from her latest album are charged with sexuality.

Finally, she's smart. A clever songwriter, a student of the history of the blues, intelligence comes through in everything she does.

Tina Fey

There's something about a woman in glasses...

Tina is a fine performer, her work on the Weekend Update portion of Saturday Night Live was the finest work of that type on the show since Dennis Miller. It's not Dennis Miller who makes the list, though, it's Tina Fey.

Tina was the first female head writer on SNL. In my opinion, the show really popped under her. She's a great writer herself, a sketch she wrote for Christopher Walken called "Colonel Lingus" makes me laugh with it's bathroom humor set against some pretty clever use of the English language.

Now she's on 30 Rock,a show she created, consistently one of the funniest things on TV.

Charlize Theron

I chose two women with my previous picks based, very much, on what's going on in their brains. So pick #3 will be based purely on looks. It's not that I don't think Charlize has a lot going on upstairs, it's just that.... well.... I've never really bothered to find out.

I just can't get past how good she looks. This is a fine looking woman. I'm sure she's got a brain, has intelligent things to say, has stances on important issues of the day, may even be able to play a musical instrument or have a fantastic sense of humor, but... well... I've never noticed.

So, have I got a shot with any of these fine looking women? Probably not. I'm still me and they're all way hot.

Even getting near any of them will be difficult, though I've been in the same room with Sue Foley. I was within feet of her in a Blues club, easily the most amazing musical performance I've ever seen. We even made eye contact at one point, pretty amazing I must say. But I went home alone and I wasn't even attached then.

Please note, also, that in two of the photos, my list women are wearing stockings. I couldn't find one of Sue Foley, though I photoshopped one a while back. Take that for what it's worth...

BOJ