Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Some guy on the net thinks I suck and he should know
He's got his own blog
I'm a loser
I'm a poser
Yeah really
It's over
I mean it and I quit
Everything I write is shit
Ben Folds
"Working Day"
Lonely Avenue
Labels: lyrics
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Fake Gambling Results - Week 12
PITTSBURGH (-7) [+105] at Buffalo: -$100
Carolina at Cleveland OVER (37.5) [-110]: +$50
Kansas City at SEATTLE (+2) [-105]: -$105
San Diego at INDIANAPOLIS (-3) [+105]: -$100
Week 12 Against the Spread: 0-3
Week 12 Over/Unders: 1-0
Week 12 Money Line: 0-0
Week 12 Proposition bets: 0-0
Season Against the Spread: 16-15-2
Season Over/Unders: 5-3
Season Money Line: 1-2
Season Proposition Bets: 2-6
Balance for Week 12: -$255
Total Amount Remaining: $802.33
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
The goal is 2,500 so I am going to stick to that. I feel like it is very realistic. People didn't think 2,000 was realistic when I set the goal last year and I made a lot of people believers, so I am going to stick to that.
Chris Johnson
Running Back
Tennessee Titans
Yards Through 11 Games: 973
Yards Short of 2,500: 1,527
Avg. to Reach 2,500: 305.4/game
Labels: Chris Johnson
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Fake Gambling - Week 12
PITTSBURGH (-7) [+105] at Buffalo: $100
Carolina at Cleveland OVER (37.5) [-110]: $55
Kansas City at SEATTLE (+2) [-105]: $105
San Diego at INDIANAPOLIS (-3) [+105]: $100
Week 12 Stake: $1057.33
Week 12 Wagered: $360
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Thursday, November 25, 2010
12 Obscure Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloons from Years Past
From The Onion A.V. Club:
Other ones that would have been cool:
BOJ
- Eddie Cantor
- Uncle Sam
- The Marx Brothers
- Linus The Lionhearted
- Sinclair Oil dinosaur
- Olive Oyl
- Jeeves
- Sky Dancers
- Beethoven
- Baby Shamu
- Izzy
- Cheesasaurus Rex
Other ones that would have been cool:
- Courtney Love
- Any Kardashian's Ass
- The Hindenburg
BOJ
Labels: Lists
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
NFL Composite Rankings - Week 11
First place votes in parentheses
Also receiving votes: Tampa Bay (2), New York Giants (1)
A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:
BOJ
| RANK | TEAM | RECORD | PTS | PREVIOUS | LAST WEEK |
| 1 | Atlanta Falcons (2) | 8-2 | 38 | 1 | Defeated St Louis 34-17 |
| 2 | New England Patriots (1) | 8-2 | 35 | 2t | Defeated #5 Indianapolis 31-28 |
| 3 | New York Jets (1) | 8-2 | 32 | 2t | Defeated Houston 30-27 |
| 4 | Baltimore Ravens | 7-3 | 26 | 4 | Defeated Carolina 37-13 |
| 5 | New Orleans Saints | 7-3 | 21 | 7t | Defeated Seattle 34-19 |
| 6 | Philadelphia Eagles | 7-3 | 20 | 7t | Defeated #9 New York Giants 27-17 |
| 7 | Pittsburgh Steelers | 7-3 | 19 | 6 | Defeated Oakland 35-3 |
| 8 | Green Bay Packers | 7-3 | 12 | 10 | Defeated Minnesota 31-3 |
| 9 | Indianapolis Colts | 6-4 | 11 | 5 | Lost to #2t New England 28-31 |
| 10 | Chicago Bears | 7-3 | 3 | - | Defeated Miami 16-0 |
Also receiving votes: Tampa Bay (2), New York Giants (1)
A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:
ESPN
Fox Sports
CBS Sports
Globex Corporation Newsletter
BOJ
Labels: NFL
I've wasted half my life, Marge. You know how many memories I have? Three! Standing in line for a movie, having a key made, and sitting here talking to you.
The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace
[5F21]
The Wizard of Evergreen Terrace
[5F21]
Labels: The Wisdom of Homer
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
She lived across the street on the fifteenth floor of the Gilmore building
I saw her in the shower reaching for some soap
I knew she had to be the girl for me
And to think I probably never would have found her
If I hadn't bought that telescope
"Weird" Al Yankovic
"Melanie"
Even Worse
Labels: lyrics
Monday, November 22, 2010
Fake Gambling Results - Week 11.2
DENVER [+320] at San Diego: -$50
Week 11.2 Against the Spread: 0-0
Week 11.2 Over/Unders: 0-0
Week 11.2 Money Line: 0-1
Week 11.2 Proposition bets: 0-0
Season Against the Spread: 16-12-2
Season Over/Unders: 3-3
Season Money Line: 1-2
Season Proposition Bets: 2-6
Balance for Week 11.2: -$50
Total Amount Remaining: $1057.33
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
The goal is 2,500 so I am going to stick to that. I feel like it is very realistic. People didn't think 2,000 was realistic when I set the goal last year and I made a lot of people believers, so I am going to stick to that.
Chris Johnson
Running Back
Tennessee Titans
Yards Through 10 Games: 968
Yards Short of 2,500: 1,532
Avg. to Reach 2,500: 255.3/game
Labels: Chris Johnson
Fake Gambling - Week 11.2
A flyer...
BOJ
DENVER [+320] at San Diego: $50
Week 11.2 Stake: $1107.33
Week 11.2 Wagered: $490
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Fake Gambling Results - Week 11.1
Baltimore (-11.5) [-105] at Carolina: +$100
Green Bay (-3) [-125] at Minnesota: +$100
Green Bay at Minnesota OVER (44) [-110]: -$55
Tampa Bay (+3) [+105] at San Francisco: +$105
New York Giants at Philadelphia (-3.5) [-105]: +$100
Week 11.1 Against the Spread: 4-0
Week 11.1 Over/Unders: 0-1
Week 11.1 Money Line: 0-0
Week 11.1 Proposition bets: 0-0
Season Against the Spread: 16-12-2
Season Over/Unders: 3-3
Season Money Line: 1-1
Season Proposition Bets: 2-6
Balance for Week 11.1: +$350
Total Amount Remaining: $1107.33
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Fake Gambling - Week 11.1
Baltimore (-11.5) [-105] at Carolina: $105
Green Bay (-3) [-125] at Minnesota: $125
Green Bay at Minnesota OVER (44) [-110]: $55
Tampa Bay (+3) [+105] at San Francisco: $100
New York Giants at Philadelphia (-3.5) [-105]: $105
Week 11.1 Stake: $757.333
Week 11.1 Wagered: $490
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Fake Gambling Results - Week 11.0
NFL Proposition Specials!
Total TD Passes – Jay Cutler (CHI) UNDER (1.5) [-125]: +$16
Will Matt Forte (CHI) score a TD in the game? NO [-175]: -$17.50
Total Interceptions – Tyler Thigpen (MIA) UNDER (.5) [+195]: -$10
(CHI vs. MIA) Who will throw the first Interception in the game? JAY CUTLER [-105]: -$21
Week 11.0 Against the Spread: 0-0
Week 11.0 Over/Unders: 0-0
Week 11.0 Money Line: 0-0
Week 11.0 Proposition bets: 1-3
Season Against the Spread: 12-12-2
Season Over/Unders: 3-2
Season Money Line: 1-1
Season Proposition Bets: 2-6
Balance for Week 11.0: -$32.50
Total Amount Remaining: $757.33
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Fake Gambling - Week 11.0
NFL Proposition Specials!
Total TD Passes – Jay Cutler (CHI) UNDER (1.5) [-125]: $20
Will Matt Forte (CHI) score a TD in the game? NO [-175]: $17.50
Total Interceptions – Tyler Thigpen (MIA) UNDER (.5) [+195]: $10
(CHI vs. MIA) Who will throw the first Interception in the game? JAY CUTLER [-105]: $21
Week 11.0 Stake: $789.83
Week 11.0 Wagered: $68.50
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Favorite Late Night Hosts
- Stephan Colbert
- Conan O'Brien
- David Letterman
- Craig Ferguson
- Jon Stewart
- Jimmy Fallon
- Jimmy Kimmel
- Jay Leno
- George Lopez
- Carson Daly
...and I think I've seriously over-rated Leno...
BOJ
Labels: Lists
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Remember what Vince Lombardi said: If you lose you're out of the family!
Dead Putting Society
[7F08]
Dead Putting Society
[7F08]
Labels: The Wisdom of Homer
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
NFL Composite Rankings - Week 10
First place votes in parentheses
Also receiving votes: None
A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:
BOJ
| RANK | TEAM | RECORD | PTS | PREVIOUS | LAST WEEK |
| 1 | Atlanta Falcons (2) | 7-2 | 36 | 5 | Defeated #1 Baltimore 26-21 |
| 2t | New England Patriots | 7-2 | 33 | 6 | Defeated #2t Pittsburgh 39-26 |
| 2t | New York Jets (1) | 7-2 | 33 | 4 | Defeated Cleveland 26-20 OT |
| 4 | Baltimore Ravens | 6-3 | 23 | 1 | Lost to #5 Atlanta 21-26 |
| 5 | Indianapolis Colts | 6-3 | 21 | 8 | Defeated Cincinnati 23-17 |
| 6 | Pittsburgh Steelers | 6-3 | 18 | 2t | Lost to #6 New England 26-39 |
| 7t | New Orleans Saints (1) | 6-3 | 17 | 7 | BYE |
| 7t | Philadelphia Eagles | 6-3 | 17 | 9 | Defeated Washington 59-28 |
| 9 | New York Giants | 6-3 | 13 | 2t | Lost to Dallas 33-20 |
| 10 | Green Bay Packers | 6-3 | 8 | 10 | BYE |
Also receiving votes: None
A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:
ESPN
Fox Sports
CBS Sports
Globex Corporation Newsletter
BOJ
Labels: NFL
Yeah I’m sorry, I can’t afford a ferrari,
But that don’t mean I can’t get you there.
I guess he’s an xbox and I’m more atari,
But the way you play your game ain’t fair.
I pity the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she’s a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I’ve got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend
Cee Lo Green
"Fuck You"
The Ladykiller
Labels: lyrics
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Fake Gambling Results - Week 10.1
Detroit at Buffalo (-3) [+110]: -$100
New York Jets at Cleveland [+155] moneyline wager: -$50
Week 10.1 Against the Spread: 0-1
Week 10.1 Over/Unders: 0-0
Week 10.1 Money Line: 0-1
Week 10.1 Proposition bets: 0-0
Season Against the Spread: 12-12-2
Season Over/Unders: 3-2
Season Money Line: 1-1
Season Proposition Bets: 1-3
Balance for Week 10.1: -$150
Total Amount Remaining: $789.83
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Fake Gambling - Week 10.1
Detroit at Buffalo (-3) [+110]: $100
New York Jets at Cleveland [+155] moneyline wager: $50
Week 10.1 Stake: $939.83
Week 10.1 Wagered: $150
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Fake Gambling Results - Week 10.0
Baltimore (+1)[-115] at Atlanta: -$230
Week 10.0 Against the Spread: 0-1
Week 10.0 Over/Unders: 0-0
Week 10.0 Money Line: 0-0
Week 10.0 Proposition bets: 0-0
Season Against the Spread: 12-11-2
Season Over/Unders: 3-2
Season Money Line: 1-0
Season Proposition Bets: 1-3
Balance for Week 10.0: -$230
Total Amount Remaining: $939.83
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Things/People That Have Delayed Me
The 14th Dalai Lama - After a speech at the Performing Arts Center in Long Beach, California, the Dalai Lama made an unscheduled stop-off at a Buddhist Monastery in my neighborhood. This made me late for work.
President Bill Clinton - Late one night while living in Iowa, I was delayed by a passing motorcade containing President Bill Clinton. After the motorcade passed, I continued on to my destination, a strip bar. I did not run into the President later that night.
Ally McBeal TV Shoot - Long Beach, CA, trying to get to work. I'd never even watched a whole episode of Ally McBeal.
President Gerald Ford - I just wanted to see my dad at the hospital, but Ford's people picked the Air Force Base we were living at to refuel Air Force One. He spoke for a bit, all of Rapid City, SD showed up to listen. Now they were all leaving at the same time.
Some Large Piece of an Oil Refinery - The joys of living in a refinery town! Of all of my delays, this was the furthest, as, being new to town and not knowing my way around, I drove over 20 miles out of my way to get to work that day.
President George W. Bush - Trying to leave a job interview in Denver, CO, I saw that my freeway entrance was blocked by Police. Being up on the news, I knew the President was in town, not knowing my way around Denver, I probably took the stupidest route possible back to Cheyenne.
A Nuclear Warhead - Growing up near lots of nuclear missiles, this one actually happened more than once. Funny thing about security around warhead convoys, they take it pretty seriously...
Honda Commercial Shoot - I just wanted to go get some groceries, but trucks and cables and people in the street forced me to drive blocks out of my way. Since this crap happened a lot in Long Beach, the novelty wore off quickly.
BOJ
Labels: Lists
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Fake Gambling - Week 10.0
It's 10.0 because I wanted in on the Thursday game but wanted to let the lines settle before wagering on the Sunday games...
BOJ
Baltimore (+1)[-115] at Atlanta: $230
Week 10.0 Stake: $1169.83
Week 10.0 Wagered: $230
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Union rule 26. "Every employee must win 'Worker of the Week' at least once, regardless of gross incompetence, obesity, or rank odor." Heh heh heh heh.
Deep Space Homer
[1F13]
Deep Space Homer
[1F13]
Labels: The Wisdom of Homer
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
NFL Composite Rankings - Week 9
First place votes in parentheses
Also receiving votes: Tennessee Titans (2)
A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:
BOJ
| RANK | TEAM | RECORD | PTS | PREVIOUS | LAST WEEK |
| 1 | Baltimore Ravens (2) | 6-2 | 37 | 2 | Defeated Miami 26-10 |
| 2t | New York Giants (2) | 6-2 | 30 | 4t | Defeated Seattle 41-7 |
| 2t | Pittsburgh Steelers | 6-2 | 30 | 6 | Defeated Cincinnati 27-21 |
| 4 | New York Jets | 6-2 | 29 | 4t | Defeated Detroit 23-20 OT |
| 5 | Atlanta Falcons | 6-2 | 26 | 7 | Defeated Tampa Bay 27-21 |
| 6 | New England Patriots | 6-2 | 20 | 1 | Lost to Cleveland 14-34 |
| 7 | New Orleans Saints | 6-3 | 16 | 8 | Defeated Carolina 34-3 |
| 8 | Indianapolis Colts | 5-3 | 14 | 3 | Lost to Philadelphia 24-26 |
| 9 | Philadelphia Eagles | 5-3 | 9 | - | Defeated Indianapolis 26-24 |
| 10 | Green Bay Packers | 6-3 | 7 | 9t | Defeated Dallas 45-7 |
Also receiving votes: Tennessee Titans (2)
A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:
ESPN
Fox Sports
CBS Sports
Globex Corporation Newsletter
BOJ
Labels: NFL
I knew if I made it easy for you
You'd settle for me, yeah eventually
But Judy
I won't be your bitch anymore
And follow you 'round
And hold the door
Ben Folds
"Give Judy My Notice"
Songs For Silverman
Labels: lyrics
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Fake Gambling Results - Week 9
NFL Proposition Special!
Michael Vick – Total Passing Yards Week 9 vs Indianapolis OVER (220.5) [-115]: -$25
Chicago at Buffalo (+3) [-115]: PUSH
Indianapolis (+3) [-125] at Philadelphia: +$100
Indianapolis at Philadelphia OVER (46.5) [-110]: +$150
Week 9 Against the Spread: 1-0-1
Week 9 Over/Unders: 1-0
Week 9 Money Line: 0-0
Week 9 Proposition bets: 0-1
Season Against the Spread: 12-10-2
Season Over/Unders: 3-2
Season Money Line: 1-0
Season Proposition Bets: 1-3
Balance for Week 9: +$225
Total Amount Remaining: $1,169.83
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Friday, November 05, 2010
Fake Gambling - Week 9
NFL Proposition Special!
Michael Vick – Total Passing Yards Week 9 vs Indianapolis OVER (220.5) [-115]: $25
Chicago at Buffalo (+3) [-115]: $115
Indianapolis (+3) [-125] at Philadelphia: $125
Indianapolis at Philadelphia OVER (46.5) [-110]: $165
Week 9 Stake: $944.83
Week 9 Wagered: $430
BOJ
Labels: Fake Gambling
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Favorite Intigers Between Positive One and Positive Ten (Inclusive)
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
See that ship over there? They're re-broadcasting Major League Baseball with implied oral consent, not express written consent -- or so the legend goes.
Mansion Family
[BABF08]
Mansion Family
[BABF08]
Labels: The Wisdom of Homer
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
NFL Composite Rankings - Week 8
First place votes in parentheses
Also receiving votes: Tennessee Titans (3), Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2)
A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:
BOJ
| RANK | TEAM | RECORD | PTS | PREVIOUS | LAST WEEK |
| 1 | New England Patriots (4) | 6-1 | 40 | 3 | Defeated Minnesota 28-18 |
| 2 | Baltimore Ravens | 5-2 | 31 | 4 | BYE |
| 3 | Indianapolis Colts | 5-2 | 30 | 5 | Defeated Houston 30-17 |
| 4t | New York Giants | 5-2 | 24 | 7 | BYE |
| 4t | New York Jets | 5-2 | 24 | 1 | Lost to #10t Green Bay 0-9 |
| 6 | Pittsburgh Steelers | 5-2 | 23 | 2 | Lost to #9 New Orleans 10-20 |
| 7 | Atlanta Falcons | 5-2 | 19 | 6 | BYE |
| 8 | New Orleans Saints | 5-3 | 14 | 9 | Defeated #2 Pittsburgh 20-10 |
| 9t | Green Bay Packers | 5-3 | 5 | 10t | Defeated #1 New York Jets 9-0 |
| 9t | Kansas City Chiefs | 5-2 | 5 | 10t | Defeated Buffalo 13-10 OT |
Also receiving votes: Tennessee Titans (3), Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2)
A composite of rankings from the following reputable organizations:
ESPN
Fox Sports
CBS Sports
Globex Corporation Newsletter
BOJ
Labels: NFL
Take a point called Z in the complex plane
Let Z1 be Z squared plus C
And Z2 is Z1 squared plus C
And Z3 is Z2 squared plus C and so on
If the series of Z's should always stay
Close to Z and never trend away
That point is in the Mandelbrot Set
Mandelbrot Set you're a Rorschach Test on fire
You're a day-glo pterodactyl
You're a heart-shaped box of springs and wire
You're one badass fucking fractal
And you're just in time to save the day
Sweeping all our fears away
You can change the world in a tiny way
Jonathan Coulton
"Mandelbrot Set"
Where Tradition Meets Tomorrow
Labels: lyrics
