Globex Corporation Newsletter

God Himself told me I should seek a new path. Yeah. He appeared before me in a dream, and I knew that was special because I usually dream about naked... Marge.






Homer the Heretic
[9F01]

Labels: The Wisdom of Homer

NCAA Special
Wyoming at Utah (-17): $25

Houston (-3.5) at Buffalo: $150

Minnesota at Green Bay (-3): $150

Jacksonville (+3) at Tennessee: $100

Week 8 Stake: $479
Week 8 Wagered: $425

The NCAA Special makes its return, and this time all about spite, spite being my one undefeated Fake Gambling strategy to this point.

Houston is more than three points better than Buffalo and you get 3 points for playing at home. This seems like a no-brainer, so what am I missing here?

Maybe my Green Bay bet is based on my desire for a tight race in the NFC North.I like anybody getting points against Tennessee.

BOJ

Labels: Fake Gambling, NFL

MTV
Get away from me
I don't wanna see
No MTV

Music Television
Should be covered in jism
I said Music Television
Should be covered in jism

Mojo Nixon & Skid Roper
"Stuffin' Martha's Muffin"
Frenzy

Labels: lyrics

1. (2)New Orleans Saints (6-0)
   Nice comeback in Miami


2. (3)Indianapolis Colts (6-0)
   Peyton Manning sucks! He can't even throw for 300 yards in every single game...


3. (4)Denver Broncos (6-0)
   Bye Week


4. (1)Minnesota Vikings (6-1)
   First loss was to a really good team


5. (6)New England Patriots (5-2)
   A winner across the pond


6. (9)Pittsburgh Steelers (5-2)
   Knocked off #1


7. (8)Cincinnati Bengals (5-2)
   I still can't figure this team out, but they looked good


8. (5)New York Giants (5-2)
   Two loses in a row


9. (10)Philadelphia Eagles (4-2)
   No problem with the 'Skins


10. (7)Atlanta Falcons (4-2)
    Dropped one in Big D

Out of Top 10: None

Teams on the Rise: Arizona Cardinals (4-3), Green Packers (4-2)

ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Network Fan and "Expert" NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Standings

BOJ

Labels: Lists, NFL

San Diego (-4.5) at Kansas City: +$50

Minnesota (+4.5) at Pittsburgh (MGM Mirage line): $-150

Minnesota at Pittsburgh UNDER (45): +$150

Seven Team Parlay (Pays 90/1): -$1
Indianapolis at St. Louis OVER (46)
Chicago at Cincinnati UNDER (42)
Green Bay at Cleveland OVER (42)
New England at Tampa Bay OVER (45)
Atlanta at Dallas UNDER (47)
Arizona at New York Giants UNDER (46.5)
Philadelphia at Washington OVER (37.5)

Week 7 Against the Spread: 1-1
Week 7 Over/Unders: 1-0
Week 7 Parlays: 0-1

Season Against the Spread: 10-17-1
Season Over/Unders: 5-4
Season Parlays: 0-4
Balance for Week 1: +$49
Total Amount Remaining: $479

I was about 1 minute and one Brett Favre interception (retututned by Pittsburgh for a TD) away from a very nice week. It wouldn't have been perfect because, let's be serious here, who really expects to hit on a 7 team parlay. Still, being up for the week beats the HELL out of being down...

Here's the crazy thing about gambling of any kind. Minnesota at Pittsburgh was an assured winner for me. Down 17-20 with about 1 minute to play, I was in a great position. If Minnesota scores a TD, the final score is likely Minnesota 24 - Pittsburgh 20. That would have preserved both my Minnesota (+4.5) and UNDER (45) bets. If Minnesota had kicked a field goal, the 20-20 score would have sent the game to overtime which likely would have preserved both bets as a field goal by either team in OT preserves the UNDER and a Minnesota win by 3 or a Pittsburgh win by 3 are both betting wins for Minnesota. The only thing that beats me on Sunday is some sort of oddball return for a touchdown which, despite what we saw on Sunday, is a very unlikely result. Thems the breaks.

BOJ

Labels: Fake Gambling, NFL

Ned Flanders, I mock your value system. You also appear foolish to the eyes of others. Past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent. I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other. Now that's psychiatry! Eh? Eh?






Hurricane Neddy
[4F07]

Labels: The Wisdom of Homer

There's no rivalry between North and South Dakota. I guess we kind of see ourselves as both working against Minnesota.

-Chuck Klosterman

Country Dick played the drums
Like he was fuckin' nuns
Behind the rectory

Mojo Nixon
"The Ballad of Country Dick"
!Sock Ray Blue!

Labels: lyrics

San Diego (-4.5) at Kansas City: $50

Minnesota (+4.5) at Pittsburgh (MGM Mirage line): $150

Minnesota at Pittsburgh UNDER (45): $150

Seven Team Parlay (Pays 90/1): $1
Indianapolis at St. Louis OVER (46)
Chicago at Cincinnati UNDER (42)
Green Bay at Cleveland OVER (42)
New England at Tampa Bay OVER (45)
Atlanta at Dallas UNDER (47)
Arizona at New York Giants UNDER (46.5)
Philadelphia at Washington OVER (37.5)

Week 6 Stake: $430
Week 6 Wagered: $351

Tough week, but this is the week I turn it all around. I can FEEL it!

BOJ

Labels: Fake Gambling, NFL

1. (2)Minnesota Vikings (6-0)
   Squeaked one out against the Ravens


2. (5)New Orleans Saints (5-0)
   Statement game


3. (3)Indianapolis Colts (5-0)
   Bye week prevents Peyton Manning from throwing for 300 yards


4. (6)Denver Broncos (6-0)
   I was so wrong about this team


5. (1)New York Giants (5-1)
   Schooled by the Saints


6. (7)New England Patriots (4-2)
   A win in poor conditions


7. (9)Atlanta Falcons (4-1)
   Hard fought win against the Bears


8. (8)Cincinnati Bengals (4-2)
   I can't figure this team out


9. (-)Pittsburgh Steelers (4-2)
   A reappearance in the Top 10


10. (4)Philadelphia Eagles (3-2)
    Seriously, you lost to the Raiders?!?

Out of Top 10: (10)New York Jets (3-3)

Teams on the Rise: San Francisco 49ers (3-2), Arizona Cardinals (3-2), Green Packers (3-2)

ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Network Fan and "Expert" NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Standings

BOJ

Labels: Lists, NFL

NCAA SPECIAL!!!
Oklahoma at Texas (-3.5): -$50

CFL SPECIAL!!!
British Columbia at Winnepeg (-1) (Stations Line): -$25

New York Giants (+3) at New Orleans: -$50

Philadelphia (-14) at Oakland: -$100

Three Team Parlay (Pays 6/1): -$5
Cleveland at Pittsburgh (-14)
Detroit at Green Bay (-13.5)
Philadelphia (-14) at Oakland

Week 6 Against the Spread: 0-4
Week 6 Over/Unders: 0-0
Week 6 Parlays: 0-1

Season Against the Spread: 9-16-1
Season Over/Unders: 4-4
Season Parlays: 0-3
Balance for Week 1: -$230
Total Amount Remaining: $430

Besides getting one game right in parlay, I missed on EVERYTHING!!! I swear, I have no idea what I'm doing...

BOJ

Labels: Fake Gambling, NFL

From ESPN.com:

Checketts Drops Limbaugh

Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh was dropped from a group bidding to buy the St. Louis Rams.

ESPN's Adam Schefter first reported the story on Wednesday.

Limbaugh was to be a limited partner in a group headed by St. Louis Blues chairman Dave Checketts. Checketts said in a statement Wednesday that Limbaugh's participation had become a complication in the group's efforts and the bid will move forward without him.

"This is not about the NFL, it's not about the St. Louis Rams, it's not about me," Limbaugh said. "This is about the ongoing effort by the left in this country, wherever you find them, in the media, the Democrat Party, or wherever, to destroy conservatism, to prevent the mainstreaming of anyone who is prominent as a conservative.

"Therefore, this is about the future of the United States of America and what kind of country we're going to have."

(more)

Rush may not be thinking about exiting his bid to buy the Rams, but his partners didn't want him anymore. Yet, somehow it's about the left and "the future of the United States of America and what kind of country we're going to have."

In a related story, Americans for Prosperity cheered Limbaugh's failure... didn't they?

BOJ

Rush Limbaugh on abandoning (or not) his attempt to purchase the St. Louis Rams:

I'm not even thinking of exiting. I'm not even thinking of caving. I am not a caver. None of us are. We have been betrayed by too many who have caved. Pioneers take the arrows. We are pioneers. It's a sad thing but our country over 200 years old now needs pioneers all over again, but we do.

BOJ

Labels: NFL

NCAA SPECIAL!!!
Oklahoma at Texas (-3.5): $50

CFL SPECIAL!!!
British Columbia at Winnepeg (-1) (Stations Line): $25

New York Giants (+3) at New Orleans: $50

Philadelphia (-14) at Oakland: $100

Three Team Parlay (Pays 6/1): $5
Cleveland at Pittsburgh (-14)
Detroit at Green Bay (-13.5)
Philadelphia (-14) at Oakland

Week 6 Stake: $650
Week 6 Wagered: $230

So, last week I somewhat validated my ability to do this by actually finishing the week $25 ahead. It's time to put that notion to rest.

For the record, I don't have to make an NCAA pick every week, but since I'm 3-0 on them, I figured it would be best not to tempt fate.

I dig the CFL and couldn't believe the Blue Bombers were only giving one point at home. A lock, a mortal lock I tells ya!

This week's parlay is only to highlight how bad Cleveland, Detroit and Oakland are. I'll gladly give two touchdowns when a quality team is playing them.

BOJ

Labels: Fake Gambling, NFL

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.






Treehouse of Horror VII
[4F02]

Labels: The Wisdom of Homer

I love you
Intermittently
I love you intermittently
When immeasurably
Turns to intermittently
There's no use in going on
Except for fear of being wrong
Every morning I just hit the ground yawning...
Stick around if you enjoy disaster
'Cause if you can't see what I'm after
You must be blind

Barenaked Ladies
"Intermittently"
Maybe You Should Drive

Labels: lyrics

1. (1)New York Giants (5-0)
   The Raiders are still in this league, right?


2. (2)Minnesota Vikings (5-0)
   And Rush still wants the Rams?


3. (3)Indianapolis Colts (5-0)
   Ho hum... another Peyton Manning 300 yard game...


4. (4)Philadelphia Eagles (3-1)
   McNabb is back!


5. (6)New Orleans Saints (4-0)
   Bye Week


6. (9)Denver Broncos (5-0)
   The student beats the master


7. (5)New England Patriots (3-2)
   Overtime loss on the road


8. (-)Cincinnati Bengals (4-1)
   The sixth undefeated team?


9. (10)Atlanta Falcons (3-1)
   Beat a quality 'Niners squad


10. (7)New York Jets (3-2)
    Screwed up my Fake Gambling week

Out of Top 10: (9)Baltimore Ravens (3-2)

Teams on the Rise: San Francisco 49ers (3-2), Pittsburgh Steelers (3-2)

ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Network Fan and "Expert" NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Standings

BOJ

Labels: Lists, NFL

My first winning week! Who am I kidding, I suck at this...

NCAA SPECIAL!!!
Stanford at Oregon State (-1): +$25

Dallas (-8) at Kansas City (MGM/Mirage Line): -$25

Cincinnati at Baltimore UNDER (42): +$25

Pittsburgh at Detroit (+10.5): +$25

New England at Denver UNDER (41): +$25

New York Jets (-1.5) at Miami: -$50

Week 5 Against the Spread: 2-2
Week 5 Over/Unders: 2-0
Week 5 Parlays: 0-0

Season Against the Spread: 9-12-1
Season Over/Unders: 4-4
Season Parlays: 0-2
Balance for Week 1: +$25
Total Amount Remaining: $650

BOJ

Labels: Fake Gambling, NFL

NCAA SPECIAL!!!
Stanford at Oregon State (-1): $25

Dallas (-8) at Kansas City (MGM/Mirage Line): $25

Cincinnati at Baltimore UNDER (42): $25

Pittsburgh at Detroit (+10.5): $25

New England at Denver UNDER (41): $25

New York Jets (-1.5) at Miami: $50

Week 5 Stake: $625
Week 5 Wagered: $175

No spite involved in this week's NCAA Special, outright spite being the only strategy that's worked this season.

I'm really not that into these picks...

BOJ

Labels: Fake Gambling, NFL

No soldier
Took on so much, went through so much, as Odysseus.
That seems to have been his destiny, and this mine –
To feel each day the emptiness of his abs...






The Odyssey
4,116-120

Labels: The Wisdom of Homer

From ESPN.com:

Limbaugh in Bid to Buy Rams

ST. LOUIS -- The lowly Rams have someone who loves them.

Conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh said Tuesday he is teaming up with St. Louis Blues owner Dave Checketts in a bid to buy the Rams, owners of the NFL's longest current losing streak at 14 and just 5-31 since 2007.

Forbes magazine has estimated the Rams franchise has a value of $929 million.

(more)

So many jokes...

While the team may show some improvement initially, it will be short lived as the Rams will prove to be very predictable running all plays to the extreme right

$929 million? That could sure buy a lot of Oxycodone

Those who root for the Rams to fail will be labelled 'un-American'

Rush's strategy to turn the Rams into a winner? Fielding 14 to 16 players at a time in what he refers to as a 'surge'

Fourteen game losing streak? No wonder Rush wants to buy them. It will be no different than supporting the Republican Party

$929 million? That could sure buy a lot of Viagra

Won't have to worry about that Donovan McNabb wanting to play for team

BOJ

Labels: Me Being an Ass, NFL

2009 Starting Record of NFL record of Quaterbacks NOT named Manning: 54-62
2009 Starting Record of NFL record of Quaterbacks named Manning: 8-0

Starting Record of Archie Manning (1971-1984): 31-103-3

BOJ

Labels: NFL

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
Spill theirs just anywhere
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
God get quite irate

Monty Python
"Every Sperm is Sacred"
The Meaning Of Life Soundtrack

Labels: lyrics

1. (1)New York Giants (4-0)
   They might have the best 'Steve Smith' in football


2. (2)Minnesota Vikings (4-0)
   Emotional Monday Night win


3. (5)Indianapolis Colts (4-0)
   Always win the ones they're supposed to


4. (4)Philadelphia Eagles (2-1)
   Bye week


5. (8)New England Patriots (3-1)
   Having Welker made a difference


6. (9)New Orleans Saints (4-0)
   They even win when Brees doesn't light it up


7. (3)New York Jets (3-1)
   Down to Earth


8. (7)Baltimore Ravens (3-1)
   Tough loss to the Pats


9. (-)Denver Broncos (4-0)
   Allowing less than a touchdown a game


10. (10)Atlanta Falcons (2-1)
    Bye week

Out of Top 10: (6)San Diego Chargers (2-2)

Teams on the Rise: San Francisco 49ers (3-1), Cincinnati Bengals (3-1)

ESPN NFL Power Rankings.
Fox Sports NFL Power Rankings.
CBS Sports NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Network Fan and "Expert" NFL Power Rankings.
NFL Standings

BOJ

Labels: Lists, NFL

NCAA SPECIAL!!!
Colorado State at Idaho (+4) (Stations Line): +$25

Oakland at Houston (-9.5): +$25

Cincinnati (-5.5) at Cleveland: -$25

Cincinnati at Cleveland UNDER (38.5): -$25

Baltimore at New England UNDER (44.5): -$25

St. Louis at San Francisco UNDER (38) (MGM/Mirage line): +$25

New York Jets (+7) at New Orleans: -$50

Three Team Parlay (Pays 6/1) (MGM/Mirage lines): -$10
Cincinnati at Cleveland UNDER (38.5)
Baltimore at New England UNDER (44.5)
St. Louis at San Francisco UNDER (38)

Week 4 Against the Spread: 2-2
Week 4 Over/Unders: 1-2
Week 4 Parlays: 0-1

Season Against the Spread: 7-10-1
Season Over/Unders: 2-4
Season Parlays: 0-2
Balance for Week 1: -$60
Total Amount Remaining: $625

Geez, I sure am glad I made that late add of the Saints/Jets game...

BOJ

Labels: Fake Gambling, NFL

So, Jon Gosselin gets dumped from a reality show when he gets divorced then is involved with a string of bimbos.

What's the problem, was his life getting too real for "reality" television?

BOJ

Labels: Me Being an Ass

One addition to this week's totally bogus gambling which is for entertainment purposes only:

New York Jets (+7) at New Orleans: $50

The Saints left tackle is injured as is his backup. I don't like the chances of a third string left tackle against the Jets pressure defense. Yes, I am an NFL geek.

That makes the revised picks for this week:

NCAA SPECIAL!!!
Colorado State at Idaho (+4) (Stations Line): $25

Oakland at Houston (-9.5): $25

Cincinnati (-5.5) at Cleveland: $25

Cincinnati at Cleveland UNDER (38.5): $25

Baltimore at New England UNDER (44.5): $25

St. Louis at San Francisco UNDER (38) (MGM/Mirage line): $25

New York Jets (+7) at New Orleans: $50

Three Team Parlay (Pays 6/1) (MGM/Mirage lines): $10
Cincinnati at Cleveland UNDER (38.5)
Baltimore at New England UNDER (44.5)
St. Louis at San Francisco UNDER (38)

Week 3 Stake: $685
Week 3 Wagered: $210

BOJ

Labels: Fake Gambling, NFL