Globex Corporation Newsletter

From The Onion:

Michael Vick's criminal case may be dramatic, but the situation is hardly new. Onion Sports takes a quick look at athletes who landed on the wrong side of the law:

1985: Pete Rose receives a lifetime suspension from baseball after foolishly betting that he is too famous to get in trouble

1987: Dominique Wilkins is cleared of child-abuse charges when the "child" he was seen hitting is identified as Spud Webb

1995: Michael Jordan shoots and nearly kills a Chicago-area police officer, but the officer is so happy to be associated with Michael Jordan that no charges are filed

1996: Michael Irvin's cocaine possession charges are dropped when Irvin is able to prove that he is a member of the Dallas Cowboys

2000: Ray Lewis is investigated in connection with the murder of Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar, convicted of obstructing justice, and sentenced to five years of community service as a linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens

2001-2007: NFL wideout Muhsin Muhammad is taken into custody three times a week for having a suspicious name

2002: Ex-New Jersey Net Jayson Williams is arrested for killing his limousine driver and sentenced to 15 years in court

2003: Kobe Bryant pleads not guilty to sexual assault charges, forcing authorities to let him go

2004: Ricky Williams tests positive for not giving a shit about football

2006: Barbaro's involvement with gambling comes to a head when organized crime enforcers have his leg broken during the Preakness Stakes

2007: Both civil authorities and NFL officials become involved when Green Bay Packers middle linebacker Nick Barnett first pushes down a woman for throwing a drink in his face, then performs an excessively long celebratory dance over her

So I guess this kind of stuff isn't new.

BOJ

Labels: Stuff From The Onion