Tuesday, May 02, 2006

 

Read The Onion, Damn it!

cutler
The Onion. You know you want to read it.....
I beg, I plead, I do everything but take you by the hand and lead you there. Read The Onion damn it! I don't know how much more I can do.

Look, it's a hell of a lot funnier than this crap and there's far less grammatical errors. They can actually afford to pay people to check their grammar and spelling for them. What are you waiting for?

We now return you to the same old crap.

BOJ

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That's fewer grammatical errors, BOJ. One of my favorite Onion stories is from two years ago, proclaiming that JK Rowling was giving up writing because she had discovered boys.
 
See what I mean!

When this blog really starts to take off and making more money than I know what to do with, do you want to be my proofreader?
 
Sure. Do you offer medical and dental? Profit sharing? 401K?

It would have to be understood that I'll work for you only until I get my novel published. Then you'll be my assistant!
 
That would be a novel idea.

(pause for uproarious laughter)

No 401K, medical or dental, but hell, I'd be willing to give you a huge percentage of the profits.

Say 35%, just for correcting my misspellings and grammaticalurgical faux pas.

Then again 35% of nothing is still nothing......

I will be your assistant though. I'll look really mousy during business hours but look really hot in nothing but my exotic underwear and glasses. I think I've said too much already.....
 
Okay. I like grammaticalurgical.
 
Wait, that's what I require of my assistants.
 
You wanna take turns being the boss?

I look pretty hot in my glasses and underwear. But again, that's probably too much information.
 
You wear your lucky bra. I'll wear my lucky boxers and you've got a deal.....
 
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