Thursday, September 23, 2010


Plans One Through Eight From Outer Space


  • Plan 1 From Outer Space: Let loose a pod of angry sea turtles

  • Plan 2 From Outer Space: Throw lit matches at everyone’s sweaters

  • Plan 3 From Outer Space: Send a giant robot down to Earth and kick Brit Hume really hard in the shin

  • Plan 4 From Outer Space: Replace all the chocolate in the world with less-delicious chocolate substitute

  • Plan 5 From Outer Space: Miley Cyrus (this one actually worked)

  • Plan 6 From Outer Space: Act really aloof and sarcastic in hopes Earth won’t know we secretly love it

  • Plan 7 From Outer Space: Tap everyone in the world on the shoulder and then run away

  • Plan 8 From Outer Space: Burrow deep into the Earth’s crust and lie dormant for millions of years until such time as an expedition makes its way toward the core of the planet and then step out and tell them we’re happy to take their literature but we’re just not very religious
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