Thursday, March 04, 2010
Jack Burton Lines from the Movie Big Trouble in Little China
Feel pretty good. I'm not, uh, I'm not scared at all. I just feel kind of... feel kind of invincible. When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail." Like I told my last wife, I says, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it's all in the reflexes." Well, ya see, I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're alone in THIS universe. This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang. Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine, because I can't concentrate when you do that. Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president. I know, there's a problem with your face. Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it." Son of a bitch must pay! This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I'm talkin' to whoever's listenin' out there. Are you crazy... Is that your problem?