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Sometime, probably in 1999, a band called The Fidgets recorded a song called"I Know All the Presidents in Order" which, as promised, names all the Presidents in order. I was searching for something else on the Internet when I ran across it. There was an mp3 of the song which I downloaded and it resides on my iPod to this day and gets a good number of plays.

Washington whose VP was John Adams
John Adams whose VP was Jefferson
Jefferson, Madison, James Monroe, John Adams
Not the same John Adams, John Quincy Adams, a different one

Two terms of Jackson, Martin van Buren
William Henry Harrison
Tipacanoe and John Tyler too
Who ran against James K. Polk in '44, I don't know but it wasn't who won

CHORUS

I know all the Presidents, the Presidents in order
Do you know all the Presidents, I don't think you do
I know all the Presidents, the Presidents in order
Up to 1999 they numbered forty-two

Gimme a Z, gimme a A, Gimme a C-H-A
Gimme a R, gimme a Y, Gimme a T-A-Y
Gimme a L, gimme a O, Gimme a R, rah rah
Zachary Taylor, Zachary Taylor, sis boom bah

Milliard Filmore, the last chief executive ever elected from the Whig party
Comes in a lucky number thirteen

Then Franklin Pierce, and next came Buchanon
He was a bachelor man and never got him any
Number sixteen Abraham Lincoln
You'd be right if you were thinkin'
He's the handsome bearded fellow in profile on the penny

Andrew Johnson, U.S. Grant and Rutherford B. Hayes
Garfield who was shot so Cherster Arthur took his place
Give me two orders of Grover Cleveland with a slice or Harrison in between
Bill McKinley, Roosevelt, Taft, the biggest President that's ever been

CHORUS

I know all the Presidents, the Presidents in order
Do you know all the Presidents, I don't think you do
I know all the Presidents, the Presidents in order
Up to 1999 they numbered forty-two

Wilson, Harding, Coolidge, Hoover
FDR three times
Truman, Ike, Kennedy, Johnson
Nixon who resigned

Oh Gerald Ford
The man I adored
You of Michigan football MVP in '34

Jimmy Carter peanut-man
Ronald Reagan in Iran
Bush the bad-ass of Kuwait
And Clinton brings us up to date

CHORUS

I know all the Presidents, the Presidents in order
Do you know all the Presidents, I don't think you do
I know all the Presidents, the Presidents in order
Up to 1999 they numbered forty-two

Now that's good songwriting! It was early 2004 when I downloaded the song. I was playing in a band out of Rapid City at the time (Patient 957, unless you somehow saw us, you won't have heard of us...) which broke up that summer. I continued playing open mics, alone and with BOJ News Service contributor and 957 band mate, "Twelve-String" Andy.

Musically, I played a few original compositions, but mostly played covers. Unlike some musicians I knew, I didn't mind playing covers, but I wanted to be a little different with the stuff I played. One day I was listening to music and "I Know All the Presidents in Order" came on my computer.

Immediately I wondered why I wasn't playing this song. A couple of reasons, actually. I didn't (and still don't) play guitar that well, plus, there was one more President since the song had been written. I was able to overcome my guitar deficiencies (capos are great!) and I set about writing a new chorus and re working the final verse.

The chorus was easy:

I know all the Presidents, the Presidents in order
Do you know all the Presidents, then sing along with me
I know all the Presidents, the Presidents in order
Up to two thousand a four they number forty-three

Changing the year is a minor inconvenience each January, of course, but it's workable. Adding another President to the final verse took a little more work

Carter, Reagan and Iran
Bush in battle with Saddam
Clinton's intern made him glad
And W more terms than his dad

And so things stayed for the past four years. As the election cycle proceeded, I knew, in the back of my mind, that this song would need more work. I suppose I could have worked on two versions of the final version and only played the applicable one, but that seemed like cheating. In songwriting, unlike in graphics, I strive for total honesty.

So at work last night, between McCain's concession speech and Obama's acceptance speech (both absolutely phenomenal speeches) I wrote the following:

In Playboy Carter stated that he lusts in his heart
In Reagan’s second term he was a senile old fart
Bush the first’s unfinished war
Clinton and that intern whore
Bush the second’s mom still loves him
Barcak Obama’s not a Muslim

CHORUS

I know all the presidents, the presidents in order
I think I got ‘em all and I can’t think of anymore
I know all the presidents, the presidents in order
Up to two thousand and nine they’ve totaled forty-four

It'll do for now...

BOJ