Globex Corporation Newsletter

I wrote a horrible song once. Well, let me back up here, I've probably written somewhere between 25 and 30 songs since 1992, and maybe, maybe five or six of them are any good. So to say I wrote a bad song, does a disservice to the other crappy songs I've written.

But one particular bad song was called I Wanna Marry a Stupid Woman. The idea came from a number of places, one being Sue Foley's cover of the Rolling Stones' Stupid Girl. The basic idea was that I wanted to be involved with a stupid woman rather than the highly intelligent ones I've tended to find myself in relationships with. It was meant to be satirical, of course, tongue in cheek. I don't really want to marry a stupid woman.

Then again, I look at my life and realize that I've made the same mistakes over and over again. I tend to get involved with intelligent women. In the end it never seems to work out. I've read that the definition of insanity is continuing to perform the same actions and expecting a different outcome.

Still, the song was supposed to be a joke. It turned out dreadful for a number of reasons. I'm really not that good of a songwriter, I can sometimes come up with something clever, and while this song fit into that, I just couldn't make it work. The other thing that made it bad was that I resorted to using a rhyming dictionary. I've done that before, and I've actually made it work, but in this case I tended to write the line I wanted to write and then make something up based on what I could rhyme the previous line with. Yeah, that's a bad sign.

The main reason the song didn't work was that I couldn't come up with a reason, even a satirical reason, why I would want to be involved with a stupid woman. I've been involved with attractive women, and that's really great. They're great to have around to look at. For me, my desire to be with someone always starts with a physical attraction.

You eventually have to talk to them, though. For me, that's when the attraction really takes hold. I tell stories, I make odd references, that's how I am. If I tell a story and I reference Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and it gets a response, I'm impressed, and a little more attracted than I was before (true story, and it happend this past summer). If the woman can make the same kind of non-standard references (i.e. her references go beyon Brittny Spears song lyrics - not that there's anything wrong with that, but I need more) all the better.

T1G once remarked, after I posted the lyrics to In My Hand that a woman would have to have a good sense of humor to be involved with me. This from my fake girlfriend. She's right of course. I've always found a good sense of humor to be indicative of a high degree of intelligence. For me, I guess, the sense of humor shows that I'm not dealing with a stupid woman. And when I look at myself, I realize that T1G was right, a woman had better be able to find the humor in the oddball things I say if a relationship with me is going to work.

Pretty is great. Talented is wonderful. Busty is fantastic (I've never been able to make that one work). For me, though, it's intelligence, that's what I'm really looking for. Witty, maybe mentally agile is what I'm trying to say. Someone I can converse with, someone to engage in unbridled intercourse with, in a communicative sense, that is. Or the other meaning, that works too.....

Don't get me wrong, while the three good (though they ended badly) relationships I've been in were with women who went on to get, were working toward, or already had a Master's degree, an advanced degree isn't the thing. It's merely evidence of intelligence. Been to college? Then you can undoubtedly name a number of people with advanced degrees who just didn't seem very bright. I need real demonstrated intelligence, not a piece of paper saying that you've passed a course of study.

2C, who was working on her Master's was leery of dating me at first because she only wanted to date someone with at least a Bachelor's. While I respect that to a certain degree, I'd hate to eliminate a person just because they didn't own a piece of paper. If I hadn't finished school, I could have saved myself 3 months of trouble. Then again, I never would have written Two Condoms.

Maybe I will keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Maybe I'll keep getting involved with women who will end up being bad for me. It's all I know, and it's what works for me.

BOJ