Globex Corporation Newsletter

It's hard for me to be down about anything today. What, you didn't hear? Earth narrowly avoided total destruction overnight as an asteroid called 2004-XP-14 came within 270,000 miles of earth. If it had come any closer we may have experienced a summer with more crappy movies like Armageddon or Deep Impact or even, heaven forbid, Metor.

We're safe for now, though a much larger asteroid named for the Egyptian god of darkness and confussion will come even closer than 2004-XP-14 did in 2029, undoubtedly killing us all. My suggestion: live normally until then, but in 2025 or so just cut loose and do all the crazy ass shit you've wanted to do in your life. That is unless NASA hires Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck to go and destroy the thing. See, that's why I say not to go crazy until 2025. Imagine your embarassment if you're assuming that the earth is going to be destroyed, have sex with your neighbor's grandma and then everything turns out to be fine. Hell, I didn't buy groceries this week because I figured the earth was going to be destroyed last night. Trying to save a little money. Man, do I feel like a moron!

Oh, it's Monday. DHMO Monday. Gotta write something about that. Oh, I know. I bet 2004-XP-14 was just loaded with solid DHMO. Just another way that stuff can kill you!





BOJ