Thursday, May 11, 2006
BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE
I try not to be an alarmist, but I ran across this on the internets not long ago. If it's on the internet, it's gotta be real, right.
In any case, I've done a little bit of research, and all of the claims about this sinister chemical compound can be confirmed. This is dangerous stuff, people. We have to do what we can to ban this horrible substance.
BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!
Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Dihydrogen monoxide:
Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!
Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!
The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.
I readily admit that The Globex Corporation is involved in the DHMO conspiracy. I currently possess DHMO in both its liquid and solid forms, though I suspect that some has escaped containment and the gaseous form is most likely present at the worldwide headquarters of The Globex Corporation. I feel that it's my duty to let you, fine readers, know of the dangers of this insidious substance. The government may be turning a blind eye to the problem, but I feel that it's my duty to get the word out while I still have time.
For more information about the dangers of DHMO, follow this link.
Better yet, check out this site for the straight scoop.
BOJ
In any case, I've done a little bit of research, and all of the claims about this sinister chemical compound can be confirmed. This is dangerous stuff, people. We have to do what we can to ban this horrible substance.
Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Dihydrogen monoxide:
* is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
* contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
* may cause severe burns.
* contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
* accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
* may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
* has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!
Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
* as an industrial solvent and coolant.
* in nuclear power plants.
* in the production of styrofoam.
* as a fire retardant.
* in many forms of cruel animal research.
* in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
* as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.
Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!
The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.
I readily admit that The Globex Corporation is involved in the DHMO conspiracy. I currently possess DHMO in both its liquid and solid forms, though I suspect that some has escaped containment and the gaseous form is most likely present at the worldwide headquarters of The Globex Corporation. I feel that it's my duty to let you, fine readers, know of the dangers of this insidious substance. The government may be turning a blind eye to the problem, but I feel that it's my duty to get the word out while I still have time.
For more information about the dangers of DHMO, follow this link.
Better yet, check out this site for the straight scoop.
BOJ
# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 4:15 PM 
Comments:
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Wow, that Evian guy is going to be so upset that we're onto him. And will Mr. Perrier and the Culligan man have to give depositions? Appear before a senate investigating committee? For some strange reason I feel terribly thirsty...
# posted by 
: 6:00 PM
: 6:00 PM
That's right we let a Foreign Power to ship such a dangerous chemical by the ship load to our shores. We have plenty of home grown DHMO suppliers, why do we need to bring something so dangerous in from another country?
I don't want to leave the Germans out of this. Any beer you buy from Germany will contain DHMO as its primary ingredient. In fact, it is illegal to produce beer without DHMO.
I don't want to leave the Germans out of this. Any beer you buy from Germany will contain DHMO as its primary ingredient. In fact, it is illegal to produce beer without DHMO.
Thanks for alerting us all to the potential hazards of dihydrogen monoxide. This reader can honestly attest that you prevented me fom a costly and possibly dangerous situation.
Recently I was shopping at my local Wal-Mart and stopped off at the beauty salon to check the price of Paul Mitchell Awapui shampoo and conditioner. I had been using the Suave brand of Awapui products with very satisfactory results but was curious over how much money I was actually saving. To my surprise, as I was checking out the bottle bottoms for price information I was approached by a scary-haired beauty practitioner who informed me that the cost difference was due to the fact that the Paul Mitchell version is not only a vastly superior product, but the Suave version is (gasp!!) wax-based while the PM is (bigger gasp!!) dihydrogen monoxide based!!!
Needless to say, I dashed right off to the health and beauty aisle to snatch up as much Suave awapui as I could fit into the cart.
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Recently I was shopping at my local Wal-Mart and stopped off at the beauty salon to check the price of Paul Mitchell Awapui shampoo and conditioner. I had been using the Suave brand of Awapui products with very satisfactory results but was curious over how much money I was actually saving. To my surprise, as I was checking out the bottle bottoms for price information I was approached by a scary-haired beauty practitioner who informed me that the cost difference was due to the fact that the Paul Mitchell version is not only a vastly superior product, but the Suave version is (gasp!!) wax-based while the PM is (bigger gasp!!) dihydrogen monoxide based!!!
Needless to say, I dashed right off to the health and beauty aisle to snatch up as much Suave awapui as I could fit into the cart.
# posted by : 12:21 PM
: 12:21 PM << Home
