Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Change in Policy
Dearest Readers of The Globex Corporation Newsletter,
We live in troubling times. The simple, idealistic life our parents and granparents lived is no longer our America. Corporate America seemingly runs the show, the bottom line has become all important in our every endevour.
Even our national pastime, the pure, pristine game of baseball has become tainted. No longer a game of mere whore-mongers like Babe Ruth, the game has turned to chemical enhancement to pump up its players, to generate more offense, to put more butts in the seats, to improve the bottom line.
Globex Corporation says enough! We may be an inconsequencial corner of the internet, but damn it, we're pure, and I aim to keep it that way.
From this point forward, The Globex Corporation Newsletter will be 100% steroid free. This applies to the author and to those commenting on posts. With that in mind, I will now require that all comments be accompanied by a urine sample.
I regret any inconvenience that this may cause.
Together, we can keep The Globex Corporation Newsletter the shining beacon of morality it has been for the past 16 months.
We now return you to the dick and fart jokes.
BOJ
We live in troubling times. The simple, idealistic life our parents and granparents lived is no longer our America. Corporate America seemingly runs the show, the bottom line has become all important in our every endevour.
Even our national pastime, the pure, pristine game of baseball has become tainted. No longer a game of mere whore-mongers like Babe Ruth, the game has turned to chemical enhancement to pump up its players, to generate more offense, to put more butts in the seats, to improve the bottom line.
Globex Corporation says enough! We may be an inconsequencial corner of the internet, but damn it, we're pure, and I aim to keep it that way.
From this point forward, The Globex Corporation Newsletter will be 100% steroid free. This applies to the author and to those commenting on posts. With that in mind, I will now require that all comments be accompanied by a urine sample.
I regret any inconvenience that this may cause.
Together, we can keep The Globex Corporation Newsletter the shining beacon of morality it has been for the past 16 months.
We now return you to the dick and fart jokes.
BOJ
# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 12:03 AM 
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How do I submit my urin sample? This horizontal slot in my computer doesn't seem to be tall emough for my wang, and plugging a USB cable into my 'opening' hurt like a sonofabitch...
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