Globex Corporation Newsletter

Didn't make it to Borders last night as the party at the "Infamous TSA Compound" (copyright pending) was still going strong pretty late into the night and then broke up into what I believe is no longer the official poker game of the Globex Corporation Newsletter (though I have to check with corporate legal on that - there may have been an exclusivity agreement). It was an all Former Patient 957/Slappy is Jebus/Bruce's Haircut/Batmanuel/957 Starship final as TSA and I played head to head. I played pretty stupidly in head to head and dropped the game to some guy who plays 12 String. In truth I think my chip lead going into the final had more to do with Dave and bottle of Shiraz than with my stellar play, but I was there at the end and that has to count for something. The night will continue to live on for Dave since a Shiraz stain on his shirt and another on the wall won't let him soon forget the evening. A good cookout and a good game afterward. My apologies to Brian (also formerly of Patient 957) for not making the Borders show. I had a phone message from him when I got home and always feel bad when I miss out on the chance to play a tune or two with him.

Today its off to Canyon Lake Park with TSA for a little informal open mic thingy hosted by Just Cal. After that it's over to Mike's to practice for upcoming shows then off to Cheers for open mic. It's rally time here in the RC and Cheers will undoubtedly be full of revelers looking for a little more fun before they head off to bed. The Cheers open mic is a good place to find it! I'm looking forward to playing for a lot of people who've never heard us beofre.

Maybe we'll be playing this tonight. I finished up the song I wrote and posted earlier. I changed the title and everything. The guitar part is pretty basic (G-C-D-Em), but there's a lot of inciental picking up of fingers that gives it a kind of cool sound. When I wrote the whole thing out with chords and emailed it to TSA I put the actual names off all those incidental chords. Now I can say I've written a song with Cmaj7, Dsus and Am11 in it. Damn! I'm a real songwriter....

My Right Hand (A Love Song)

Champagne by the fireplace
I've got the music on real low
Shadows dancing 'cross the living room
In a warm hypnotic glow

I've set it up so perfectly
I hope this isn't where it ends
But I think tonight's gonna be the night
I just with I could tell my friends

And I've been playin' it all out in my mind for so long
And I 've considered every little thing that could go wrong
But tonight's the night I think I'll finally give it a whirl
And someday I hope to try this with a real girl

I've got no luck with women
I think that's pretty plain to see
So a romantic evening is home all alone
It's only my right hand and me

But I always try to do it up right
Any time I have the notion
And my right hand never fails to please
At least 'til I run out of lotion

And I've been playin' it all out in my mind for so long
And I 've considered every little thing that could go wrong
But tonight's the night I think I'll finally give it a whirl
And someday I hope to try this with a real girl

(Unimaginateve Harmonica Solo)

The scene is just so perfect
I'm getting tipsy from champagne
Say what you want about my right hand
It never fails to entertain

It never lies it never cheats
It never leaves me in my sorrow
And if I play my chards right tonight
My arm will be real sore tomorrow

Don't think I'm silly I know that it's not love
But if I'm in the mood fro dress-up it'll wear a glove
Yeah my right hand gives my dirty mind real leeway
And some day we'll invite my left hand for a three-way

That's what it's come down to, writing songs about my love of masturbation. I guess you have to write what you know.....

BOJ