Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Council for the Reduction of Awards Presentations (C.R.A.P.)
Damn I hate awards shows! Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against people being rewarded for excellence, particularly by their peers. I hate the actual programs themselves, the Emmys telecast or the Oscars. TV and movies are two things that are pretty dear to my heart, I like to know what was selected as Best Picture or Outstanding Actor in a Mini-Series, but I find I save myself a whole lot of time if I just read it in the paper the next day. The shows are horrible, overblown pieces of crap that I can't believe anybody tunes in to watch.
They've turned into a battle of who can say or wear or do the most outrageous thing, particularly now that MTV has gotten involved in the awards show biz. It wouldn't be so bad, except that the MTV mentality is to actually encourage people to say or wear or do the most outrageous thing.
That lead to the "Red Carpet" shows. Who the hell watches this crap? I was just flipping through the channels and saw a "Red Carpet" show for tonight's American Idol finale. Granted, I don't give a damn about American Idol, so it's beyond my intellectual capacity to understand why anyone would watch a show dedicated to who shows up to the American Idol finale and what they wore.
So what would I suggest we do before TV is overtaken by awards shows? Well I'm glad you asked. First, I would force all awards shows to take place on the medium that they're celebrating. The Emmys would be on Television, but the Oscars would have to be filmed and released to movie theaters. The Grammys would be on CD, you could buy it at your local Tower Records. Even more specifically, the Daytime Emmys would have to be on TV during the daytime. Don't waste my time giving Doctor Phil an award when I'd rather be watching George Lopez. OK, I've never watched George Lopez, but you get the idea.
Second, one awards show per medium. The Grammys, the American Music awards and that over-hyped MTV music awards piece of crap will have to find a way to get rid of the other two. That's the rule, one per medium. And no more of this Latin Grammys crap. The Grammys celebrate music, all music. Latin music shouldn't get it's own show any more that Balkan Folk music should. Latin music gets a catagory on the Grammys like every other type of music.
Finally, just like High Schools around the country, awards show attendees will have to wear uniforms. All of the rationale for having high school kids wear uniforms apply to celebrities and, more importantly, wanna-be celebrities. The best thing about this course of action is that it'd do away with the "Red Carpet" shows once and for all.
So write your congressman, or do what I do, don't watch this crap!
BOJ
They've turned into a battle of who can say or wear or do the most outrageous thing, particularly now that MTV has gotten involved in the awards show biz. It wouldn't be so bad, except that the MTV mentality is to actually encourage people to say or wear or do the most outrageous thing.
That lead to the "Red Carpet" shows. Who the hell watches this crap? I was just flipping through the channels and saw a "Red Carpet" show for tonight's American Idol finale. Granted, I don't give a damn about American Idol, so it's beyond my intellectual capacity to understand why anyone would watch a show dedicated to who shows up to the American Idol finale and what they wore.
So what would I suggest we do before TV is overtaken by awards shows? Well I'm glad you asked. First, I would force all awards shows to take place on the medium that they're celebrating. The Emmys would be on Television, but the Oscars would have to be filmed and released to movie theaters. The Grammys would be on CD, you could buy it at your local Tower Records. Even more specifically, the Daytime Emmys would have to be on TV during the daytime. Don't waste my time giving Doctor Phil an award when I'd rather be watching George Lopez. OK, I've never watched George Lopez, but you get the idea.
Second, one awards show per medium. The Grammys, the American Music awards and that over-hyped MTV music awards piece of crap will have to find a way to get rid of the other two. That's the rule, one per medium. And no more of this Latin Grammys crap. The Grammys celebrate music, all music. Latin music shouldn't get it's own show any more that Balkan Folk music should. Latin music gets a catagory on the Grammys like every other type of music.
Finally, just like High Schools around the country, awards show attendees will have to wear uniforms. All of the rationale for having high school kids wear uniforms apply to celebrities and, more importantly, wanna-be celebrities. The best thing about this course of action is that it'd do away with the "Red Carpet" shows once and for all.
So write your congressman, or do what I do, don't watch this crap!
BOJ
# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 10:25 PM 
