Tuesday, February 15, 2005
This Is Me
I learned a few things about blogging yesterday, My hit count for yesterday was nearly double what it had been for any other day. I guess having the title "Happy Fucking Valentine's Day" made people want to see what was going on. That's just P.T. Barnum-esque showmanship, I could title this blog "Buddha, Vishnu, Confucious in Gay Three-Way Sex Romp" and just write about football scores. It might get people to read the first line, but people are too bright to be fooled for too long. So the first thing I learned is to get people's attention as they're surfing by.
"Happy Fucking Valentine's Day" was something that's been on my mind for 13 years now. It's something I'd tried a lot of different ways to express. I wrote a song about it years ago, one of the first songs I ever wrote. I think I did OK with the subject matter, but I could never bring myself to perform it in front of anybody. You're really out there when you do material like that in front of people. I may have gotten over the nerves associated with playing in front of people, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to expose myself emotionally like that in public. This blog is different, I know some of the people who are reading it, but there's a layer of technology between me and them. I can't see them, they can't see me. I know that's somewhat artificial, but it's really enough for me when writing stuff like this. So I've also learned that I can get things out here that I really can't anyplace else.
Maybe the most important thing I learned is to just be myself. In truth, numbers on a counter don't mean a whole lot to me. But when someone I don't know writes a supportive comment, well, that does something to me. I truely don't think about anybody reading any of this when I write it, mostly it just comes out, and my fingers are just trying to keep up on the keyboard. I really never thought anybody I didn't know would read this, let alone feel complelled to write me something.
So this is me, more than the conversations I have with people I know, definitley more than the songs I write. For the time being, anyway, this is me without the bullshit. This is what my brain is doing, without trying to be clever or impress people. Who knows if that will change? For right now, it's honest and real.
BOJ
"Happy Fucking Valentine's Day" was something that's been on my mind for 13 years now. It's something I'd tried a lot of different ways to express. I wrote a song about it years ago, one of the first songs I ever wrote. I think I did OK with the subject matter, but I could never bring myself to perform it in front of anybody. You're really out there when you do material like that in front of people. I may have gotten over the nerves associated with playing in front of people, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to expose myself emotionally like that in public. This blog is different, I know some of the people who are reading it, but there's a layer of technology between me and them. I can't see them, they can't see me. I know that's somewhat artificial, but it's really enough for me when writing stuff like this. So I've also learned that I can get things out here that I really can't anyplace else.
Maybe the most important thing I learned is to just be myself. In truth, numbers on a counter don't mean a whole lot to me. But when someone I don't know writes a supportive comment, well, that does something to me. I truely don't think about anybody reading any of this when I write it, mostly it just comes out, and my fingers are just trying to keep up on the keyboard. I really never thought anybody I didn't know would read this, let alone feel complelled to write me something.
So this is me, more than the conversations I have with people I know, definitley more than the songs I write. For the time being, anyway, this is me without the bullshit. This is what my brain is doing, without trying to be clever or impress people. Who knows if that will change? For right now, it's honest and real.
BOJ
# posted by Blind Orange Julius @ 8:13 PM 
